I thought the worst ache I felt was in the first grade when my stomach rumbled and rolled relentlessly during nap time. I remember pinching my arm hoping it would distract me from the pain. I sat in the clinic waiting for my mother to take me out of school for the third time that week. The nurse probably assumed I was faking it by now, but the truth was, I faked it the two days earlier in the week, this time it was real. I left like the boy who cried wolf. But that pain went away after a couple hours. Then in the twelve grade, I had a rotten headache sitting in the back row of my math class, all while trying to understand the complexity that is calculus. That ache lasted only a few days. I was sure it would be the worst ache I’d experience in my life. But as per usual I was wrong, very wrong. The worst ache I’ve ever felt was when you left. My mind shutdown and my insides went to war with themselves. Every demon unleashed itself and ran rampant inside my thoughts. I didn’t think for myself because nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Thoughts became nonsensical and illogical. My world wasn’t falling apart, it was blowing up. And I haven’t been able to piece it back together. This is the worst ache because it hasn’t gone away. It’s still here.
what it feels like to ache | @picoquesoguac
