I'm gonna do that about me thing.... My name's Kevin Tran, I mean, Sierra and I'm in advanced placement. I am a Pine Nut and I have an unhealthy obsession with Star Trek. I write gay porn and end!verse needs to happen. Lastly, I have a ton of shows I need to watch but I spend too much time writing and reading fanfiction.
HOLY SHIT, JENNA, THIS IS SO ACCURATE AND YOU THINK I'M KEVIN TRAN OMFG ♥♥
Alright, everyone, the lovely Jenna and I have decided to write our first multichap fic together! This is the first part, and I will make sure to link every part in each new addition so that you can go back and catch up if you decide you would like to read it! Here's a brief summary for the first part:
Words: 2,398
Summary: A few weeks following the expulsion of the angels from heaven, Dean and Sam receive an urgent message from Charlie concerning something they "might want back". (SPN verse, following the Season 8 finale)
Dean awoke to the high pitched ding that was his text alert noise. He rolled over, rubbing harshly at his sleep-heavy eyes as he felt around in the pitched black for his phone. When he finally got a grip on it, he ripped the phone from the charger and flipped it open.
Dean, I have something you might want back. Meet me at Conner’s Diner at noon. - Charlie
Dean groaned as he checked the clock. 3:30. If they were gonna make it to St. Louis by noon, they would have to leave now. He forced himself up off the memory foam mattress and began padding toward his brother’s room. When he reached the slightly cracked door, he pushed it open, peeking his head through. “Sammy,” he called, effectively waking his brother up. Sam sat up with a jolt, looking at Dean with wide questioning eyes. “Get your stuff. We’re leaving.” He left before Sam could ask any questions.
The Impala was loaded and ready to go by 4. Throughout their packing, Sam had asked Dean over and over what this was about, but he had replied with the same vague answer every time; “Charlie needs us.” Sam decided to finish up his night of sleep when he realized Dean wasn’t going to budge.
They made it to Conner’s just before noon, noting the absence of Charlie’s car. Dean figured, in the mean time, he could grab a burger, which he had once claimed were better than sex. Dean reached over and shook Sammy awake, causing a whine from the younger of the two. “Come on, sleeping beauty. That’s 8 hours. You’re rested.” It took Sam a moment to shake off his sleepiness and then they headed inside.
Charlie showed up at 12 o’clock on the dot, her presence noted by the tinkling of the bells on the door. The brothers looked up simultaneously and motioned her over, noting how exhausted she looked. She slid into the booth next to Dean, watching him eat carnivorously. “These burgers,” he began, through a mouthful, “better tha-”
“Better than sex,” Charlie finished and was given two very suspicious stares. “Read the books, duh,” she shot back. “Anyway, that’s not why I’m here. Dean, Sam, there’s something you should see. Come with me.” The brothers frowned and followed her out but not before leaving a twenty on the table or Dean without the other half of his sandwich.
Charlie led them out to her small, silver Prius (Dean practically had to bite his tongue to keep from saying anything mean about the car) and opened up the back seat door. Sprawled out across the backseat was a very frail and beaten up looking Castiel. Sam’s eyes widened and Dean practically choked on the current bite of his sandwich. “Cas,” he blurted before Charlie could quiet him. Cas laid on the leather seats unmoving, but looking ever so peaceful. “He’s not…” Dean trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. Charlie shook her head though. “No, just sleeping.” She closed the door softly so they could continue talking.
“I found him on the side of the road. I was heading up to my lady friend’s house in Michigan when I saw this thing just lying there. I got out to see what it was and I just knew. I mean, how many guys are walking around in tan trench coats any more? I knew it was Castiel, so I loaded him into the back seat of my car and texted you right after. Also, dude is a lot heavier than he looks. You try carrying an unconscious angel to your car in the middle of the night. I got a lot of weird looks from passer-byers, so you’re welcome, about twelve people think I’m a serial killer.”
“Wait, wait wait,” Sam said, stopping her. “How did you know he was unconscious and not…”
“He was still warm,” she replied. “It was like he had just passed out there or something. It couldn’t have been too long before I found him. Anyway, we were driving along and I heard this noise, like a whimpering of sorts, so I pulled over and there he was, big blue eyes staring up at me. So, I told him who I was and said that I was bringing him to you two. Now, here we are.”
Dean was absolutely floored. Cas was here! Cas was alive! Cas was here and alive! Cas was- “Dean,” a soft yet familiar voice echoed, ripping him from his thoughts. There stood Castiel, leaning heavily against the car. His eyes were unfocused and his knees were shaking, not at all like the poised, perfect angel he had grown to know and love. “Cas,” he replied, voice breathy with surprise. “I- You- How-” He didn’t know what to say. There was so much to say, but he couldn’t think of a damn thing right now.
Castiel didn’t utter a single word as he lifted his free arm that wasn’t clinging to the car and pointed straight at Dean. Dean was slightly taken aback as he looked to Sam and Charlie for answers, but neither of them understood either. “Wha- What is it, Cas,” he finally asked.
“That’s a burger,” Castiel murmured, eyes on the half-sandwich in Dean’s hand.
Dean frowned, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. “Y-yes, Cas. This is a burger.”
“I want it,” he deadpanned and Dean couldn’t help but be totally lost. Cas had just been found half-dead on the side of the road and all he could think about was food? But who was Dean to deny him that little bit of happiness if that’s what he wanted. This past year was hard on all of them, so he slowly approached the angel and placed the sandwich in his hand.
Castiel didn’t even acknowledge Dean as he tore into the burger, eating it just as messily and sloppily as Dean himself. The three couldn’t help but watch the strange behavior and were all definitely more than a little nervous. “So uhh Cas… what happened to you?” Dean finally asked.
Cas’s head was lolling around when it finally stopped and he looked up to Dean. He was definitely not himself. “Metatron,” he finally said, “He took my grace. The angels fell. I’m human.” He spoke so matter-of-factly, like this was something that happened every day.
Charlie was the most shocked out of all of them. “Wait, that wasn’t in-” but Sam quieted her.
Dean swallowed and looked into Cas’s eyes in an effort to make them focus, rather than rolling around in his head. “So… how are you feeling? Are you okay,” he asked slowly, trying to find any sort of hints in Cas’s facial expression.
Cas was silent for another minute before he spoke. “I have to use the bathroom… rather badly.” He pushed away from the car as if forgetting that he could barely stand before his knees gave out and he fell to the ground. “Cas,” Dean yelled, failing to catch him. He knelt down beside the angel-turned-human, waiting for some kind of reaction.
Then, in a very Cas-like manner, Dean heard it, clear as day. “Son of a bitch,” he uttered, pushing himself up off the ground, and Dean couldn’t help the small smile that graced his lips.
Dean had decided to ride back home with Charlie and Cas, reluctantly allowing Sam to drive his baby alone. And it certainly didn’t take long for him to realize that he’d made the wrong decision.
To start off Dean’s lovely ride through hell, Cas fainted on his way back out to the car. He had only taken a few steps after leaving the diner before he dropped to the ground, eyes rolling back in his head and body going limp like a rag doll. Dean ran over, cursing under his breath as he leaned over to lift the fallen angel, learning quickly that Charlie was right about the bastard being heavy.
“Again? Really?” Charlie cried, peeking her head out of the driver’s side window, “We better get him back to your place quick and figure out what the hell’s wrong with him.”
“I know, I know, just give me a minute. You said it yourself- this son of a bitch is heavier than he looks,” Dean called back, slowly trudging his way over to the waiting car.
“I told you,” she chuckled, shaking her head and grinning, “but I think you’ve got it under control. Carrying a dreamy angel like that bridal style seems to be the way to go.” And then she had the nerve to fucking wink at him.
“Yeah, whatever,” he growled, throwing open the door to the backseat and trying to ignore Charlie’s laughter. He carefully laid Cas down on the backseat, placing him carefully so that his head rested against the armrest of the door while his legs could comfortably stay stretched out.
Before shutting the door, he took the time to really take in the fallen angel’s appearance. His typical trench coat seemed rattier than usual, the soles of his shoes showed more scuff marks and small tears were visible near the bottom of each pant leg. Dark circles under each of his eyes stood out against his pale skin and a small cut ran across the bridge of his nose. However, there was one detail that Dean thankfully found to be the same: his navy blue tie was still backwards. Dean smiled weakly at the sight, knowing full well that there were a lot of details the fallen angel was leaving out of his story, but letting that one little thing settle him for the time being
Dean slammed the door shut, coming around and throwing himself down into the passenger seat. He tried to put on his best poker face, keeping his gaze focused forward and lips set into a thin line. He couldn’t let Charlie know how worried he really was or he’d never hear the end of it. Chick flick moments were really beginning to dominate his life despite his constantly vocal stance against them.
Charlie was staring at him, eyebrows raised and lips twisted into a concerned frown. When Dean refused to acknowledge her leering gaze, she sighed and turned back to look at the road. She shook her head, hands gripping the steering wheel much too tightly as she began to drive.
After several seconds of awkward, oppressive silence, she finally spoke up. “So… Castiel certainly is as hot as I imagined he’d-“
“Just shut up,” Dean snarled, sending a quick glare in her direction and crossing his arms over his chest.
“Jesus Christ, Dean, calm down,” Charlie retorted angrily, “All I’m saying is that he’s pretty easy on the eyes. Well, for a dude.”
Dean rolled his eyes and turned to look out the window instead. The pavement streaked by, yellow lines and trees blurring before his eyes. Small houses sat comfortably in the middle of acres of lush grass, some with classic brick red barns nearby and cattle milling aimlessly about in carefully fenced-off pastures. The sky seemed impossibly blue, only a few, wispy clouds hanging here and there. It was all so peaceful, so easy, so alluring.
“Whatever,” he muttered, face still turned away from the redhead at the wheel. He could sense that there was something Charlie was trying to get him to say. He had no clue what it was, but he sure as hell didn’t want to think too hard about it.
Silence filled the little car, seeming to press in from every direction and crush Dean. He longed for the strangely comforting atmosphere the bunker provided, the feeling of being at home. The quicker they could get there, the better.
“You know,” Charlie sighed, “he said something to me as I was sticking him in the car.”
Dean turned quickly, his curiosity getting the better of him. “And what’s that?”
Charlie chuckled softly, glancing over at Dean’s inquisitive stare. “Well, at the time, I thought it was a little weird, but it’s starting to make more sense now.”
Well, that piqued his interest.
“I was leaning over to check on him, make sure he was breathing and everything, and he whispered something. Really softly, like I almost didn’t catch it.”
Dean shifted nervously in his seat, eyes focused intently on the redhead. Somehow, he knew what it was before it even passed her lips.
“He said your name,” she muttered, eyes full of concern as she looked over at Dean again. When he failed to respond, staring down at the gear shift as if it were the most interesting thing in the world, she charged on without even pausing to take a breath.
“Yeah, I thought it was pretty weird. So, of course, I didn’t know how to take it or anything. I mean, I knew immediately that he must be Castiel with the trench coat, but the second he said your name, I was sure-“
“Stop,” Dean whispered, still averting his gaze as he spoke, “just stop, okay? Don’t make a big deal out of this. He probably just figured it must be Sam or I since we usually are the ones to find his ass after he magically comes back to life.”
Charlie pursed her lips, failing to nod her head or agree in any way. It wasn’t the response she was looking for and he knew it.
Suddenly, a small whimper came from the backseat. Dean quickly turned in his chair, protective nature taking over and eclipsing all of his other current concerns.
Cas’s nose was scrunched up and eyes squeezed tightly shut. His lips parted slightly as he let out another little mewl of discomfort, body shifting so that he could lay on his side. “Dean,” he whimpered softly, pulling his legs in closer to his chest.
Dean watched in horror, hoping that maybe he had just heard him wrong. His mind had been known to play tricks on him after all.
“Dean,” the fallen angel sighed, his face relaxing and lips turning up into a small smile. He rolled over on to his other side, nuzzling against the leather of the seat cushions and letting out another content sigh.
Dean swallowed anxiously, turning back around. He purposely refused to make eye contact with Charlie as he turned, trying to ignore the smug smile on her face.
Rule 2: Answer the questions the tagger has set for you in their posts, then make 11 new ones.
Rule 3: Tag 11 people and link them in your post.
Rule 4: Let them know you’ve tagged them.
1. If you could go back in time, where would you go and why?
Oh wow. Well, I would probably go back in time to when my father was still alive. I was only 2 years old, but I'd love to go back the same age I am right now and get to know him since I never really could
2. What is your favorite organization to donate to?
I don't have any money to donate, omfg, I'm such a bum
3. Who’s your favorite villain in a book?
There are so many good book villains! The Darkness/Gaiaphage from the Gone series by Micheal Grant is a pretty badass, scary villain
4. Who’s you favorite villain overall?
Oh my... I really love Crowley's character from SPN
5. What’s your favorite font?
Oh God, I really don't know this one
6. Can you do anything weird with your body (roll your tongue, lick your elbow, etc)?
Not really... I'm so boring, holy crap
7. If you became famous, what would it be for?
Ummm.... the only thing I can think of is writing since I can't act or draw worth shit
8. What book would you want to be a character in and what would be your purpose?
I'd basically love to be a character in all of the books I've read. Here, I'll pick one at random. If I were a character in Swan Song by Robert McCammon, I'd love to be one of the people fighting to reverse the apocalypse.
9. Do you have any phobias/fears?
Insects (mostly flying bugs)
10. What is/was your favorite subject in school?
Math
11. What’s your least favorite color combo?
Weeellll... brown and black?
My Questions:
1. What is your ultimate notp?
2. What's your favorite band?
3. What was your first ship?
4. What tv character can you not stand?
5. Do you have a life motto?
6. Who's your biggest celebrity crush?
7. Do you enjoy reading or writing fanfiction?
8. What's your favorite genre of books?
9. What movie are you most looking forward to in 2013?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVELY GIRL! I'm so happy we met and started talking. To think we met because I was being hard on myself and you came in and made me feel all better. You are seriously amazing. You are one of the best writers I have ever read and you definitely gave me confidence about my writing. Seriously, I can't wait to start our fic and keep being friends! Love you dearly! <3
AKDJSJSKL JENNA THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY!! LOVE YOU TOO ♥♥
Dean catches Cas with something “special” of his and intends fully to reprimand him for it… until things take an unexpected turn. It’s from Dean’s POV and is set somewhere in Season 9 (fallen!Cas). This little ficlet is for the lovely Jenna :)
Very few things ever left Dean Winchester speechless. After spending his entire life hunting, he had seen just about every kind of nightmarish creature known- well, actually, unknown- to man. So, not much really surprised him anymore. But this? Oh no, this was disturbing and startling on a whole new level.
“Cas… is that what I think it is?”
The fallen angel was sitting down at the table in the main room of the bunker, focused intently on none other than the latest copy of Busty Asian Beauties. At the sound of Dean’s voice, Cas jumped in his seat, the magazine flying out of his hands and landing open on the table. His eyes darted nervously around the room before settling on the hunter who stood propped up against the door frame with a mischievous grin on his face.
Dean chuckled and shook his head. The look on the fallen angel’s face was priceless. The horny little bastard’s cheeks were beginning to turn red, his hands immediately moving to his lap to cover up the crotch of his pants. The son of a bitch had been sitting in here the entire time looking at porn?
“You sneaky little shit,” he laughed, making his way over to where Cas sat, “you stole my latest copy! What, needed to get your fix or something now that you’re a regular, red-blooded man?”
Cas shifted nervously in his seat, licking his lips and glancing back down at the magazine now sitting open on the table. For a few seconds, the room filled with silence as Cas continued to stare at the magazine and not say a word.
Suddenly, the fallen angel’s entire demeanor changed. His brow furrowed and his hands balled into fists in his lap. He looked up at Dean, lips twisted in an angry scowl. “Just because I am no longer an angel, Dean, does not mean that you can tell me what to do.”
Dean’s jaw dropped. What the fuck?
“If I am feeling a certain sexual desire”- Dean cringed at the fallen angel’s choice of words- “I should be able to fullfill it. As far as I can see, this pornographic magazine does not have any labels or notes that state I may not borrow it. Therefore, I should be able to use it and return it to you if I wish.”
“Cas, buddy-“
“I don’t need your permission to do anything, Dean!” Cas cried, quickly pushing back his chair and jumping to his feet. Instead of yelling something bitter back, Dean stayed quiet, knowing full well that anything he said would just make the situation worse.
“I have been in existence for far longer than you, than Sam, than the human race itself!” he cried, his body beginning to shake with anger and frustration, “I know more than you could ever imagine! I-I am an angel of the-“
And that’s the moment he broke down. Tears began to stream down his face, his lips still parted as he tried desperately to finish his sentence. But he wouldn’t be able to finish; he physically couldn’t. It was the first time Dean had every seen Cas cry, and he knew immediately that he never wanted to experience it again. He felt as if he might throw up, his stomach lurching and bile beginning to rise in his throat.
What the hell was he supposed to do? Deep down, he knew that the only thing he wanted to do was gather the angel in his arms, allow him to clutch to his chest and press his face into the soft flannel of his shirt as he cried. But was that right? Was that what Cas wanted? Was that what he wanted? And the only answer he knew was the one that scared him the most.
Cas was now doubled over, arms held out to brace himself against the table as his body continued to quiver with the force of his quiet sobs. The room was eerily silent except for the sound of the fallen angel’s small whimpers, each tear shed piercing Dean’s heart as if he were being stabbed repeatedly in the chest.
Dean was many things, but he wasn’t heartless. This had gone on long enough.
“Shit, Cas,” he sighed, straightening up and making his way quickly to where the fallen angel stood against the table. The idea of just taking Cas into his arms, comforting him like his own strange, sad excuse for a knight in shining armor had seemed simple enough. But as he positioned himself behind the fallen angel, he had no idea what the hell he had been thinking. Consoling someone by holding them against your chest was something a couple did, wasn’t it? Fuck.
It was a complete “chick flick” moment, something so completely against who Dean was. Or at least who he had always convinced himself he was. Ever since he had been a young boy, John had been coaching him about how to be “manly”. About what to do and not to do as the man of the house, how to set the perfect example for little Sammy. And holding another man while he cried was definitely not one of the things included on his father’s Code of Masculinity.
Nervously, he reached out and laid his right hand on Cas’s left shoulder, breath catching in his throat as the fallen angel turned to look at him. His eyes were bloodshot and cheeks stained with the salty moisture of fresh tears. Even as he watched, another tear pooled at the corner of the fallen angel’s left eye before gliding slowly down his cheek.
Dean didn’t know what it was about Cas’s appearance that finally pressured him to respond. It could’ve been his tear-stained cheeks or his red, swollen eyes. It could’ve been his quivering lower lip or his little mewls of sorrow. Hell, if he was perfectly honest with himself, it was probably a combination of every minute detail that pushed him to act.
He reached up with his other hand, gently brushing away the falling tear drop with the pad of his thumb. Carefully, he continued to swipe his thumb over the skin underneath Cas’s eye. It was soft, completely unlike what Dean had always thought it would be.
“Dean,” Cas whispered, his voice pulling the hunter out of his blissful trance. He hadn’t even noticed that he had taken another step closer to the fallen angel as he had been stroking his face. Dean was close enough now to feel Cas’s warm breath mingle with his own, the lapels of the fallen angel’s trench coat pressed against his chest and his shaky knees occasionally bumping against his shins.
This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. He wasn’t supposed to feel this unimaginable magnetic pull, this ridiculous compulsion to softly kiss the corner of Cas’s mouth and card his fingers through his tousled hair. He wanted to memorize every single inch of the fallen angel’s face, to map out every single precious detail. The way his nose would feel as it brushed against his, the way his eyelashes would tickle his skin, the way his stubble would occasionally rub against his jaw- every last sensation flooding his mind as if it had already happened.
Was this the right time? With tears streaming down his face and head so completely fucked up now that he was a “pitiful human” after spending his entire existence as a Warrior of God? Or had it been Lucifer’s Crypt when they had managed to break Naomi’s control over Cas? Had it been when they were sitting together at the bar, Cas confessing that he probably wouldn’t be allowed to live when Heaven caught up with him? Or, hell, had it been long before that, after he had taken a glimpse into the future and seen the obvious shift in their relationship dynamic to something more than just friends?
Dean continued to stare into the fallen angel’s eyes, so bright and vividly blue, desperately hoping that he would be the one to make the decision for him. Slowly, he began to move his hand, keeping his thumb pressed to Cas’s cheek as he shifted the rest of his fingers to cup the fallen angel’s face. Cas let out a soft hum of approval, leaning into the warm touch and allowing his eyes to flutter closed. Dean couldn’t help but smile, savoring the way that just a simple touch, his touch, had managed to provide so much relief.
As much as he wanted to kiss the fallen angel right now, to finally do what he should’ve done so long ago, he knew what Cas really needed right now. Sadly, his touch would only offer Cas a brief respite from his inner turmoil, alleviating his pain for now but certainly not for good. If anything, the best thing he could for him was at least try to make him see the truth.
“Cas,” Dean whispered, watching the fallen angel’s eyes crack open to reveal a glimpse of his brilliant, cerulean irises, “I’m not gonna start ordering you around now that you’re human. I mean, even human, you could still kick my ass, right?”
Cas chucked softly, lips turning up into a small grin to mirror Dean’s. He scanned the hunter’s face, obviously trying to discern whether he believed what he was saying or was just trying to make him feel better.
“No, buddy, but seriously, you’re not any less important now that you’re human. Not one fucking bit. Even when you were an angel” -Cas visibly flinched when he said the word “angel”- “you were practically human. You cared about people! And you never had to, no, it wasn’t part of your angelic mission or anything. You chose to do it!”
Dean’s vision was beginning to blur, tears welling up and waiting anxiously to glide down his cheeks. He hadn’t meant to cry, he really hadn’t. But Cas just didn’t seem to get it and he fucking needed him to understand.
“You’ve always loved humanity, Cas! I can just- I can imagine you sitting there at a big round table up in the clouds telling all the other angels that they were dicks for wanting to start the apocalypse. A-and then you would just slam your fists down on the table because the bastards wouldn’t listen and then leave. I-I bet you- you just…”
He had so much more to say, so many reasons he’d come up with to explain why Cas wasn’t any different now. And he wanted to say them, it was all that he wanted actually, but fuck, when had Cas’s eyes gotten to be so damn blue?!
It was impulsive, spontaneous, and incredibly risky. But Dean didn’t care- he needed this so much that it almost hurt. Quickly, he leaned in and kissed the spot at the corner of Cas’s mouth that he had been observing earlier. The movement had been so unexpected, causing the fallen angel to stiffen at the contact, brain frantically trying to catch up.
Dean wasn’t really sure what he had been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this. When Cas failed to react immediately to the contact, he hadn’t been that surprised. He was Dean Winchester, a college drop-out and nothing more than a grunt, while Cas had been an angel. If the fallen angel wanted something better, well, he deserved it.
Instead of pulling away as he had guessed that he would, Cas tilted his head, sliding his lips over to capture Dean’s bottom lip. He gently sucked on it, pulling it eagerly into his mouth and gliding his tongue lazily across the soft, plaint flesh. It was simple, the curious kiss of someone who was still concerned about the other’s intentions, but hell if it wasn’t more incredible than every kiss Dean had ever experienced combined.
Dean reached his other hand up to fully hold the fallen angel’s face. Cas’s own arms slid around his waist, pulling him closer and eliminating any excess space that had been between them.
Dean could taste the salt from his own tears mixed with Cas’s along with the residual spearmint flavor of the fallen angel’s mouthwash. He felt Cas sigh “Dean” quietly into his mouth, felt his entire weight pressed against him. It wasn’t anything like the kiss he had seen Cas share with Meg, less hungry and animal. The fallen angel was more gentle with him, and although less ravenous, infinitely more passionate.
Eventually, they had to pull away as they became lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. Leaning back, their lips separated with a little, wet pop. Dean leaned his forehead against Cas’s, closing his eyes and breathing out a deep sigh of relief. The fallen angel’s hair tickled his skin as his exhales ruffled the strands now clinging to the sweaty skin of his forehead.