Cas thinks for a moment, then says, “The summer solstice isn’t really the longest day of the year. Every day is twenty four hours long. The solstice just has the most sunlight, so people say it’s the longest.”
Dean throws his head back as he laughs. “Very good, Cas. I already knew that, though. Also, it’s April.”
Tilting his head, Cas says, “Next time be more specific.”
. + . + . + .
“Tell me something true.”
“A snail can sleep for three years,” Cas says.
Dean makes an odd noise in his throat. “I have no idea how to respond to that.”
Cas shrugs. “No response is necessary. You asked for a fact, I relayed it.”
Shaking his head, Dean sighs. When Cas turns away, Dean smiles.
. + . + . + .
“Tell me something true.”
“There are 88 official constellations, but people have been telling stories about the stars since stories and stars began.”
Dean looks at Cas’s face in the starlight, then looks back up at the night sky. “Tell me,” he says.
Cas tells a story of a young girl in what is now Spain, who looked at the sky 700 years ago and saw the wings of a butterfly. He tells of a group of young men in Greece's far past who saw Achilles chasing Patrocles, and how they hoped Achilles would one day catch his love.
When Cas falls silent they just look at the stars, side by side in the grass. After a time Dean says, “Thanks.” He hopes it’s enough.
. + . + . + .
“Tell me something true.”
Cas looks at Dean, a thoughtful look on his face. Finally he says, “Green is my favorite color.”
Another color, this one pink, rises to Dean’s cheeks. “Yeah?” he says. The word sticks in his throat.
Cas nods.
“I like blue,” Dean says.
. + . + . + .
“Tell me something true.”
“I don’t regret falling from grace,” Cas says. His words are soft, but resolute.
True.
Dean searches Cas’s face for any sign of sadness, any hint of doubt, but all he sees is the truth he asked for.
“Even though you can’t–” Dean starts, but Cas cuts him off.
“I don’t regret falling from grace.” He emphasizes every word. “I don’t miss healing, or flying, or angel radio. I don’t miss heaven. I don’t miss commanding armies, or striking fear into the hearts of beings with my words alone. You are worth it, Dean Winchester.”
Dean cannot speak. He’s just a guy, a pretty good hunter but fairly average at most everything else. Actually, he screws up just about everything he touches that isn’t about killing monsters. To think that Cas–beautiful, strong, bigger than the Chrysler building Cas–gave everything up for him…
“Please stop thinking like that, Dean,” Cas says. “I can’t get into your head anymore, but your thoughts are plain on your face. I mean every word. You are worth it.” He brushes a kiss on Dean’s cheek, and then he’s gone, almost as if he’d flown.
. + . + . + .
“Tell me something true.”
Cas smiles, the smile that lights up his whole face. “I love you,” he says.
Something inside Dean falls into place; he almost hears the click in his head. Or in his heart. He can’t stop his own grin from spreading across his face. “I know,” he says with a wink.
Cas rolls his eyes, says, “I do pay attention when we watch movies together, Dean. Especially the ones we’ve seen thirteen times.”
“Thirteen?” Dean sputters. “We haven’t watched the Star Wars trilogy–”
“Thirteen times, Dean. I have an excellent memory.”
“Okay, Rain Man,” Dean mutters, pouting.
“Who is–” Cas starts, but Dean interrupts him.
“We’ll watch that one later. Just shut up and kiss me.”
Cas does, and after Dean says, “I love you too, you know.”
Foreheads pressed together, Cas murmurs, “I know.”
**
for @bend-me-shape-me 's Dean/Cas Summer Prompts Series!
In A Fortress of Pine Trees | @mistofstars
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 3,380
Main Tags/Warnings: Endverse, Croatoan, 2014, 5x04, Smut, bottom!Dean, Angst, Top!Cas
Summary: Future!Dean / Future!Castiel "Cas", he finally exhales. "I could need one of your amazing hippie massages right now" -it starts with a simple massage and ends somewhere else; Dean gives in to long neglected needs... DESTIEL in 2014
The Warmth of your skin | @notfunnydean
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 3,414
Main Tags/Warnings: Sharing Body Heat, Hurt!Cas, First Kiss, Naked Cuddling, Sharing a Bed, no explicit sex, human!Cas
Summary: Dean and Castiel are in the middle of a forest, when a snowstorm surprises them in the middle of the summer. To make their luck perfect, Castiel breaks into the ice of a lake. There is only one way to survive this cold. Body Heat.
Are We Human? | @one-more-offbeat-anthem
Rating: General
Word Count: 3,766
Main Tags/Warnings: human!/fallen!Castiel, first kiss, love confessions, pet cats
Summary: After losing his grace, Cas struggles with being human. Dean tries to help him out—and in showing the former angel how to find joy in the little things, starts to find joy himself (if he's brave enough to reach for it). And also discovers that maybe cats aren't so bad.
The End Of The Beginning | @vampamber
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 3,885
Main Tags/Warnings: ABO, omega Dean, alpha Cas, endverse, endverse Cas, heat, pwp, S5E4 The End, there's a sequel
Summary: He just wished that Zach-y boy had picked a better time. Dean could feel those deep seated aches in his abdomen that could only mean he was a day or so away from his damn heat starting. Hopefully he could learn his little lesson before he had to lock himself away for a few days to keep himself from presenting to every damn alpha in a five mile radius. He usually took suppressants, but dealing with Lucifer had kind of taken front seat just long enough for Dean to miss a few too many doses. “Damn it,” he muttered to himself as he rubbed at his wrists, finally free.
He wandered out to see where the hell he was. It was an old summer camp, that much he could tell, but that was about it. But as weird as all this was, as unreal and impossible as it had to be, the most mind blowing part was definitely Cas. Fuzzy, stoned out of his gourd, sex guru to a gathering of betas and omegas Cas. Cas, who smelled so strongly of alpha and everything that Dean had ever wanted that he had to shift himself when the guy wasn't looking to try and hide the quickly growing erection in his pants, praying that he wouldn't slick right through his jeans.
Finally Realized | @vampamber
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 4,018
Main Tags/Warnings: ABO, alpha Cas, omega Dean, Dean in heat, human Cas, first time, porn with plot
Summary: Dean is sick in bed, so Sam calls in a now-human Cas to come and take care of the cranky patient while he escapes goes on a hunt. Dean cooperates with Cas, but it just figures, when the cold is finally gone, his heat takes its place. Now denial stops being an options as Dean begs Cas for the thing he's always wanted, but could never admit to.
Sweet Cherry Pie | @imbiowaresbitch
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 4,801
Main Tags/Warnings: No archive warnings apply, first kiss, first time, friends to lovers, top dean/bottom cas
Summary: Dean takes the newly-human Cas to a diner to try some new foods. Cas wants more than a taste.
Tick Tock Goes The Clock | @vampamber
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 5,784
Main Tags/Warnings: ABO, omega Dean, alpha Cas, human Cas, alcohol as a coping mechanism, implied mpreg, angst, porn with plot, drunken confessions, drunken sex
Summary: It was a well known fact that every omega had a metaphorical biological clock ticking away inside of them, just waiting to spring the alarm and make the poor guy or girl go just a wee bit baby crazy. And as much as Dean Winchester tried to deny it, mostly to himself, the one inside him was gonna blow at any second.
Even though Dean would never admit it to anybody, especially his brother, he had always felt pretty maternal towards Lisa's son, Ben. He’d always wanted a nice, big family with plenty of pups of his own, ever since he had presented as an omega as a teenager. At least, whenever John hadn't been pressuring him to act like the alpha his dad thought he should've been, that is. It had only gotten worse when Sam presented as a beta, so Dean had shoved that dream so far back in his mind that he completely forgot about it ninety-five percent of the time.
That was exactly why the omega knew that his biological clock was gonna kick his ass any day now. Where he used to mostly forget about the idea of having a bunch of pups, it was now taking up the vast majority of his thoughts lately.
I Been Blind | @jemariel
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 22,387
Main Tags/Warnings: Human!Cas, porn-watching, masturbation, mutual pining, porn with feelings, suggestion of m/f and m/m/f sex (in porn), oral sex, frottage, anal fingering, suggestion of bottom!Cas.
Summary: Castiel is in love with humanity. At least, so long as he's not the one experiencing it.
A lighthearted smutty romp wherein Dean helps Cas navigate the tricky minefield of human needs.
Roaming in the Dark (WIP) | @casbelieves
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 24,624
Main Tags/Warnings: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Drug Addiction, Explicit Sexual Content, Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse, Bottom!Cas, Top!Dean, Heavy Angst, Smut, Fallen Angels, Apocalypse, Croatoan Virus, Canonverse, Minor Character Death
Summary: A reimagined look into how "The End" came to be. Castiel does not return to heaven after he rescues Dean from his stint in an apocalyptical 2014. The brothers don't reunite. The angels do fall. A dangerous and deadly virus spreads worldwide. But, without fail, Castiel follows Dean and, perhaps, that is his only fault.
Room A Thousand Years Wide | @mittensmorgul
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 34,921
Main Tags/Warnings: Case Fic, Getting Together, Long-Suffering Sam Winchester
Summary: Once the world and their lives are finally their own, and Cas has chosen humanity once and for all, he begins to find a new routine of daily life with Dean. Sam doesn't know how much longer he can take their apparently oblivious platonic domesticity, when their regularly scheduled evening goes out the window with a single text message from someone they never expected to hear from again. Ex-Ghostfacer Ed Zeddmore is afraid he's stumbled over something too big to let slide, and sends them a link to a potentially dangerous Ghostfacer wannabe, and a case that isn't at all what it appears to be on the surface. What they uncover dredges up a lot of interesting feelings all around, and they must finally face a few ghosts of their own.
Empty Spaces | @thisisapaige
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 48,411
Main Tags/Warnings: Angst, Drug Use, Drug Abuse, Drug Withdrawl, Fallen Castiel, Pre-series Dean, Canonverse, Internalized Biphobia, Slow Burn, Canon-Typical Violence, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort
Summary: [Castiel] found the colour. It was a green, one of the few gentle colours at the edges of his dreams and the one he tried to capture in his paintings, never quite finding the right hue. He spent so long chasing the colours, trying to find it though pills and needles, but they always evaded his grasp. Yet he found one, right here, hiding in the eyes of a stranger. He studied the colour, the subtle differences between dark and light, the little flecks of gold nearly hidden in the sea of green, the ring around the outside. He studied it, trying to commit the colour to memory.
The other man cleared his throat. “Uh, dude?” Oh. Castiel forgot the colour was attached to a person.
~~~
What if Castiel had fallen before the start of the series and met Dean on a routine hunt? Set in the spring before Dean goes to find Sam in Stanford.
Gates of Bronze and Bars of Iron | iCeDreams (AO3)
Rating: Teen & Up
Word Count: 80,466
Main Tags/Warnings: Season 9 Divergent, Dean in Heaven
Summary: Dean realizes that staying in Heaven and catching endless fish isn't living up to its hype. Especially since the gates of Heaven are still closed and there are no angels to guide you in the hereafter.
Castiel is surviving Earth, fallen and human until a reaper brings his attention to a hunt forcing him to seek out his fallen brothers.
“Do you ever wish on shooting stars?” Dean asks Cas late one night when the tv’s on low and Cas is lightly dozing on his shoulder. He doesn’t know why he thought of it. Something on one of the shows they watched, maybe.
Or he just wants to know what Cas would wish for.
Cas rolls his head back, enough to look up at Dean with heavy blue eyes. “I used to. Not so much anymore.”
“No?”
“No.” Cas stifles a yawn, but the force of it has him sitting up straighter. He stretches out his arms, tilts his head side to side. “I don’t wish on my birthday either, when I blow out the candles.”
“Dude, no. Now you are just messing with tradition.”
Cas gives him a sharp little smirk that always sends Dean’s heart racing. He doesn’t say anything, but Dean can practically hear his thoughts, What about us has ever been traditional?
And, okay. Fair.
“Come on, you must wish on something,” Dean says.
Cas shrugs.
“Well, okay, let’s make our own tradition. Let’s wish...” Dean looks around. “On the tv. Right now. Anytime this commercial is on.” A commercial plays for the local fast food chicken place, the one with so much grease, it leaks through the cardboard containers. It tastes so good though.
“No one in the world has that many wishes,” Cas says. “That commercial is on ten times an hour.”
“Lots of people have tons of wishes for stuff.”
“Not me.”
Dean frowns. He himself can think of plenty of wishes - no more knee pain, less gray in his hair, some of that chicken from the commercial... “You’re messing with me.”
But Cas loses his smirk. He looks serious.
Dean turns toward Cas on the couch, lifting up his knee onto the cushion between them. He immediately regrets it when that knee aches. Dean quickly wishes on the commercial for less knee pain, as he lowers his leg back to the ground.
Cas reaches out, presses a hand directly over the aching spot on Dean’s knee, and rubs the pain away.
Dean sends Cas a suspicious glance. Cas gave up his angel mojo a long time ago, to stay on earth and grow old with Dean, but sometimes Dean wonders if he didn’t get to keep some of his angel intuition.
Alternatively, he knows Dean that well. Which is a bit overwhelming. To be known like that, inside out, and still be loved. It’s almost too much.
How did he ever get so lucky?
“Better?” Cas asks.
Dean nods.
“Good.” Cas leans closer again, sliding back into Dean’s slide like he belongs there. And he does.
Dean tries to let it go, but when the chicken commercial comes on again, the second time in one commercial break, he can’t resist voicing his curiosity. “You have to have one wish.”
“No.” Cas rests his hand on Dean’s chest. Dean wonders if he can feel how fast his heart races just for him, even now, even after all their years together. “What use are wishes? I already have everything I ever wanted.”
If Cas couldn’t feel his heart before, he has to now, with it picking up speed.
“Cas...”
“I’m happy, Dean. Every morning I get to wake up to the man I love. Every night, I go to sleep at his side. What else could I possibly need?”
Dean’s throat goes dry, even as he stares into the deep oceans of Cas’s eyes. So earnest. So fond.
“I love you,” Cas says.
Dean leans down and kisses him, a soft tender thing filled with all the love in his heart. Cas smiles against his lips.
“My wish,” Dean says, “is that you always keep smiling.”
Cas hums, content. “You don’t need to wish for that.”
“No?” Dean knows he’s fishing now, but he doesn’t care. To hear these things from Cas is like heaven.
Cas knows, he must, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He might like saying these things as much as Dean likes hearing them. “With you beside me, I will always be happy.”
Dean, overwhelmed, kisses him again.
The next time the chicken commercial comes on, Dean looks at Cas with a smile of his own. “How about a new tradition?”
Cas’s eyes are closed now but he still says, “I’m listening.”
“Instead of wishes,” Dean says, “When we see the chicken ad, we say stuff that makes us happy.”
Cas’s gentle smile is enough of an assent.
“I’ll go first,” Dean says.
“Please.”
“You, Cas. You make me happy. Every day with you. Every minute. Even when you steal the covers. Even when you apparently fake wishes at birthday parties. Everything.”
Cas turns into Dean and kisses his shoulder.
Dean will still wish for younger knees and less gray and chicken, but with Cas? Well, there’s no wish that could compete with what he’s got.
It’s Steve now, fallen Cas fic rec list - this angsty collection of canon verse fic is a counterpart to our more mellow Castiel, you’re human now rec list. Heed the authors’s tags and have tissue boxes around!
Thanks to euclase/ @eliciadonze/ @eliciaforever, who provided us with permission to use her beautiful art! (link to #euclase fanart tag at @destielfanworks)
All title inks go to our tagged reviews or submitted rec posts.
A Winter’s Tale by northernsparrow (submitted rec) [T, 63,700 word count]
Cas is sick and Dean finds a journal that Cas kept about his time alone as a human. This fic is a retelling of first half of S9 from Cas’s POV (via Cas’s journal). Lots of Cas angst/loneliness and a correspondingly equal volume of Dean guilt. Sick fic, hurt/comfort, journal fic, and a Christmas fic too.
Down Like Water by museaway [M, 14,500 word count]
There’s no time for nerves, no time for second guessing. There’s only right now, and right now he has Cas. (Or, in which Dean and Cas get over themselves and take a roadtrip before Cas’s grace runs out. Not S10 canon compliant.)
It’s getting dark, too dark to see by Enochian Things (Salr323) (submitted rec) [T, 18,400 word count]
Cas is human and alone in the world; Dean’s not handling it. At all. But then again, neither is Castiel.
My Heart Is Beating From Me by enochian things [M, 55,100 word count]
After Rexford, Castiel tries to live a normal life and Dean tries to let him go… But nothing’s ever that easy. (Canon divergent from s9e06 “Heaven Can’t Wait”)
There Are Many Things by imogenbynight [NC-17, 28,800 word count]
In which Dean and Castiel learn, through trial and error, how to be together.
Things that Leave Marks by thestoryinsideme [M, 23,500 word count]
Once the rogue angel Dean had allowed inside his brother was expelled and Sam was safe, a guilt-ridden Dean searched high and low for his friend and former angel, Castiel. Unable to find him, Dean presumed he was dead. Until, that is, the fateful day he ran into him during a quick stop in a small northwestern town more than three years later.
Zenith by anactoria [NC-17, 33,400 word count]
Season 9 AU. Still relatively new to humanity, Castiel struggles with both Dean’s confusing behaviour and the loss of his angelic faculties. When a pissed-off witch restores his ability to see the supernatural, the curse seems like a blessing. He can help his friends again – and when Dean’s lies blow up in his face and Sam is once again left hovering between life and death, Cas is happy to be useful. But his abilities keep getting stronger, and they might just be more than a human brain can handle.
The wilderness. by orange_crushed [T, 8,000 word count]
He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month. (9x03 post-episode fic)
Other resources
Call for Coda - 9x03 - a very special coda fic rec list, posted only couple of days after the episode broke our hearts. Destiel writers rose to occasion and poured all their love, and hurt, and confusion into these coda fics. A time capsule of emotions.
Ten Years of Castiel Masterpost - . more Cas centric fic recs
Season 9 fan art at @destielfanworks
If you enjoyed the fic, please drop by the archive (AO3) and let the author know with your comments and/or kudos! And if you found our recs useful, let us know by Liking and/or Reblogging our posts!
A/N: This is first dark fic so if I missed any warnings please let me know. I wrote this for @ejlovespie follower challenge and my prompt is Demon!Dean. I’ve had this idea floating around in my head for a while and I’m pretty excited about this 🖤🖤
Times like these made Castiel grind his teeth and grip the steering wheel almost to the point of crushing it. Long, empty stretches of road made him miss his wings more than usual. Instead of his search taking mere days, he was coming up on months of scouring the country for one man and having nothing to show for it. Castiel and Sam have been looking for any sign of Dean since he disappeared months ago, but every possible sighting led to a dead end. They were always too late when they’d get wind of any demon activity, no matter how fast they move.
And on top of everything, Crowley was nowhere to be found; he refused to answer any phone calls, and summoning wasn’t working. Sam had stood in the dungeon for hours waiting, and nothing, the King of Hell, never showed. Castiel hadn’t told Sam the one thing bothering him the most about the whole situation, praying that he was wrong. If Metatron had killed Dean as Sam said, Castiel knew what he would find if he ever did find Dean. Castiel ground his teeth harder, pressing the gas pedal to the floor, wishing he could get to Nebraska faster.
Castiel leaned against his truck, impatiently waiting for the gas pump to click when his phone lit up, his piercing ringtone jolting him out of his thoughts.
“Hello Sam,” he greeted, massaging the bridge of his nose.
Hey Cas. Sam chirped. So get this, I’ve been reaching out to other hunters, and I stumbled on something strange. Castiel tried not to roll his eyes, even if the younger Winchester couldn’t see him.
“Yes, and?” The gas pump clicked, letting Castiel know the tank was full; he fumbled to keep the phone between his ear and shoulder as he returned the nozzle and slid into the truck.
There has been barely any demon activity. Anywhere. Castiel could hear more of Sam rustling around through the phone, but he waited. It’s almost like they’re either staying in Hell or getting better at hiding.
“Wonderful,” Castiel sighed, wiping a hand over his face. “I’m roughly an hour away from the suspected portal. I’m hoping I can find Crowley.”
Okay, keep me updated. I’m going to meet up with a few other hunters and see what I can find out about the few demon encounters they’ve had in the last few months. Castiel turned the key, the engine roaring to life before settling into a soft purr.
“Call me if you need anything,” Castiel sighed, ending the call and dropping his phone onto the passenger’s seat. The angel sucked in a deep breath and pulled onto the two-lane asphalt again, pushing the truck to go faster than before.
Castiel tentatively moved closer to the door, narrowing his eyes at the chipped paint; he glanced around before pushing the door open. The room was lined with shelves filled with various odds and ends, some Castiel recognized, some he didn’t. Shaking off his growing curiosity, Castiel moved across the room, stopping in front of a plain-looking steel door; he questioned if any of the information he received from the few screaming demons he did manage to capture was true. He pulled in another long stream of air and reached for the handle, screwing his eyes shut as he yanked it open. Castiel didn’t have to open his eyes to know the answer; the ear-splitting screams and the smell of death and despair were enough to brush off his suspicions. He only hesitated for a moment before stepping into the stone hallway.
A low-level demon hurried to the throne room, bursting through the doors but coming to an abrupt halt a few feet from the throne, and dropped its head.
“Your Highness, there has been a breach in one of the portals. Someone has entered without prior authorization,” the demon rambled, keeping its eyes averted.
“Good.” The King’s voice was low, but the single word rumbled through the air; the demon nodded once and hurried off again. The corner of the King’s mouth twitched as he leaned back against the crimson red cushion of his lavish throne and waited.
Castiel crept down the path, his head on a swivel, looking for any sign of a throne room. Nothing seemed off to him, well aside from the fact that Castiel was walking through hell, but other than that, nothing strange. No demons approached him, and if he did happen to pass one, they barely reacted, a few giving him a curt nod. The behavior should’ve relaxed the angel, but it only made his pulse jump higher. Was Crowley expecting him?
“This way, sir,” a voice rang out. Castiel jumped, the grip on his angel blade tightening as he spun to face the demon. Unfazed and slightly irritated, brown eyes blinked back at him; the demon stood with its hand clasped behind its back, waiting patiently. “This way.” Castiel hesitated, glancing around for any unseen attack waiting in the shadows, but he followed when he sensed no other presence. The demon stopped at the end of the short hallway, gripping the handle of the giant oak door and gesturing Castiel inside.
“Thanks,” Castiel mumbled, his lips pulling into a tight, barely-there smile. The angel froze in the doorway, blinking lamely. Hell Fire erupted from the ground below, the flames snapping in the air, casting a soft yet ominous glow. The only solid foundation the angel could see was the stone path that led to the throne surrounded by broken and crumbling stone pillars—Crowley; always for the theatrics. Castiel rolled his eyes and pulled air in through his nose before walking towards the King of Hell. He couldn’t resist the urge to lean over the side, watching the flames dance below him. He slowed his pace as he approached, tilting his head slightly to study the man; the King leaned to Castiel’s right, his legs spread wide, dominating the room. The pillars surrounding him cast a slanted shadow over his upper body, but the closer the angel got, the more unsettled he became until he stood roughly a foot away. The King lifted his head, a lopsided grin stretching across his face, as he stared down the angel with empty, black eyes before they flickered to a beautiful green.
“Heya Cas,” Dean purred, licking his lips as his eyes raked over the angel.
“No…” Castiel breathed. Any fight he had slipped away the second Dean smiled at him, dread clamping down on Castiel’s heart as he watched the shell of the man he loved stand.
“Wondered how long it would take for you to find me,” Dean chuckled darkly, striding closer until he was mere inches away. The Hell Fire twinkled off the black metal of his crown like it was winking at the angel; Dean straightened his suit jacket as he studied the angel’s face.
“W-what about Crowley,” Castiel stuttered, unable to look away from the soft green of Dean’s eyes. The King’s eye twitched, but he kept his composure, his smile never faltering.
“Crowley was no match for me,” Dean answered, tilting his head slightly. “I’m no ordinary demon. When I died” -Castiel flinched when Dean’s fingers traced along his jaw- “I became a Knight of Hell. Do you know what that means, angel?” Castiel could only nod, keeping every muscle tense, desperate to avoid making Dean angry. “Crowley was a bug compared to me.” Dean’s fingers continued to brush the stumble along Castiel’s jaw lightly, his face moving close enough that Castiel could feel the King’s breath against his lips.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Castiel couldn’t stop the question was spilling out, and he tensed under Dean’s hand, screwing his eyes shut. The laugh Dean let out was barely a sound, and his touch stayed gentle, tender almost; he didn’t answer for a few moments, and Castiel decided to open his eyes again.
“Because I’m not coming home, and I have everything I need now.” Dean smiled, and it was almost the smile Castiel fell in love with, but there was still a hint of twisted darkness there.
“I’ve got my angel back,” Dean replied, the tip of his tongue tracing his plump, lower lip. Realization rocked Castiel back, almost knocking him off his feet; Dean already knew he was coming and had no intention of letting the angel leave.
“No…” Castiel whispered, tears stinging his eyes. “Please.”
“Aw, Cas, don’t do that,” Dean mumbled, swiping at the angel’s cheek. Castiel’s heart felt like it was being pulled in every direction; this was everything he longed for, but he knew it wasn’t the man he wanted. “You know,” Dean started, his eyes seeming to soften. “I’ve always loved you, but all that stupid human guilt and repression got in the way.” Dean’s other hand came up to cup Castiel’s face, tilting it, so their lips almost touched, and Castiel did nothing to stop it. “I’ve always wanted you.”
“You already knew I was coming,” Castiel ventured, praying Dean stayed calm.
“Of course I did,” Dean chuckled, his breath puffing against Castiel’s lips. “Stay with me, angel.” Castiel’s body felt like it might burst at the seams from the battle going on inside him; his heart screamed to give in, to take whatever he could, but his mind told him it was a mistake. This wasn’t Dean anymore.
“You’re not Dean. Not my Dean,” Castiel croaked, blinking away tears.
“I think you underestimate how little has changed since I died,” Dean mumbled, his eyes boring into Castiel’s. “Stay with me, and you can have me. All of me.” Castiel’s throat felt like it might close around the words if he even tried to speak, so despite his mind screaming to run, his head bobbed forward.
“Finally,” Dean breathed. The King’s lips turned up into something that resembled a smile mixed with a snarl, and he blinked, the black voids of his eyes consuming Castiel. Dean closed the space between them, his lips urgent against Castiel’s; the angel let Dean’s tongue slip into his mouth, claiming him. Castiel finally let go, dropping the blade in his hand to fist the fabric of Dean’s suit, pulling him closer. No matter how high Castiel’s heart soared at the feeling of Dean pressed against him while their tongues danced, he couldn’t ignore the screams in the back of his head.
What am I doing! What. Am. I. DOING.
“Dean,” Castiel hummed into the King’s mouth.
“Shh, you’re mine now,” Dean growled, his grip on the angel’s face tightening as he sealed their mouth together again. That’s when it hit Castiel. He made a mistake, probably the biggest mistake of his long life. Castiel whimpered, which only fueled the man in front of him, and he knew how stupid he was to think this would be worth it. Dean broke the kiss, panting against Castiel’s bruised lips, then he pulled away to stare into the glistening blue eyes inches away; a warm smile rounded Dean’s cheeks, almost making him look human. Castiel glanced down at Dean’s mouth, and his eyes widened in horror at the sight of blood tinting Dean’s lips a deeper red.
“Oh god no,” Castiel whimpered, cringing away from Dean.
“I own you, angel,” Dean purred, his pupils growing with lust. Castiel ignored the palpable arousal between them, only focusing on what Dean said. The thought made him want to throw up, cry, or die, but this is what he deserved after everything he’d done. Castiel could feel the strange sensation rising in his veins, battling with his grace, warping it. The broken and tattered remains of his wings shifted and stretched, dropping off any remaining feathers. Castiel couldn’t help the soft cry that fell from his lips as his celestial body twisted. He paved his way here, and now he had to accept his fate. He fell limp against Dean, listening to the soft laughter rumbling in the King’s chest.
Dean Winchester was the King of Hell. And Castiel? Well, Castiel was now the Angel of Hell.
Castiel felt the words as they were whispered into the back of his neck, pulling him from the pleasant daze of being half-asleep.
He shifted, craning his neck to try and see Dean as he curled around Castiel from behind.
“Oh,” Dean breathed, his voice hitching, “M’sorry. Thought you were asleep.”
“Delilah?” Castiel questioned, his brain still sleep-addled, so he wasn’t sure he’d heard him correctly. “Who’s Delilah?”
“Nothin’.” Dean’s forehead pressed against the base of Castiel’s neck and his arms wrapped tighter around Castiel’s stomach. “Sorry - it was just - dumb.”
Castiel frowned and turned over in their bed, ignoring Dean’s small protests as he moved to face him, trying to catch a glimpse of his expression in the dark to get some sort of indication of his mood.
Dean ducked his head.
“Dean, what’s wrong?” Castiel reached out and gently reached for Dean’s hand, squeezing it once.
“It’s not - it’s stupid. You should be sleeping and -”
“Dean.” Castiel said softly, but firmly. “Whatever this is, it’s clearly bothering you, so it’s not stupid. What’s on your mind?”
Castiel waited, counting Dean’s breaths.
“So... you know the bible?”
“I’m vaguely familiar, yes.”
“Right. Duh. Yeah. So, I was reading it, right? For research. And there’s this story of a guy named Samson. He’s super strong and super powerful, but if he wants to stay that way, he can never cut his hair.”
Castiel knows every biblical story backwards and forwards, and he’d even been involved in a few of them as they unfolded, but he didn’t interrupt, just hummed to show he understood.
“Then one day, Samson meets a woman named Delilah, and he... falls in love with her. He falls for her so hard that he can’t see she’s going to be his downfall.”
Dean’s voice gets even quieter.
“And Delilah tricks him, and cuts his hair while he’s asleep. Samson loses all of his power, and gets captured. Because of her, he’s no longer this powerful guy. He would have been better off if he’d never even met her, you know? He would have stayed super strong, and feared and -”
“- and you think that you’re the Delilah to my Samson.” Castiel finished, propping himself up on an elbow.
Dean said nothing - and spoke volumes.
“Dean, I may not be an angel anymore,” Castiel murmured, rubbing a thumb along the palm of Dean’s hand, “but that’s not your fault.”
“Feels like it.”
“Delilah was bribed by the Philistines to find out the secret to Samson’s strength so that they could capture him. No offense to Samson, but he lied to her several times only to find out that she had tried those techniques during the night, and still decided to tell her the truth. I never met him, but given those facts, I don’t think Samson was the brightest candle under the bushel.”
Dean huffed out a laugh and looked up at Castiel for the first time since they’d started speaking.
“I understand where you’re seeing the parallels, Dean, but there’s one big difference.”
“What’s that?”
Castiel leaned in a pressed a soft kiss against Dean’s forehead.
“I cut my own hair. I clipped my own wings. And I’d do it again -”
A kiss on his cheek.
“- and again -”
A kiss on his lips.
“- and again -”
Dean let out a soft sigh as he melted against the kiss, and pulled away, looking a little less weighed down than before.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah.”
Castiel let his head fall back down onto the pillow and let out a long breath as Dean tucked himself closer.
“So, do you think Sam would lose all of his power if we cut his hair while he slept?” Dean asked.
Castiel quirked a smile.
“Dean, I love you with my whole heart.... but please don’t involve me in this.”
Summary: Dean has cystic fibrosis, a brutal respiratory disease that means he can’t cut it in the life his father chose for him, despite his very best efforts. He also has a give ‘em hell attitude and a dogged crush on his childhood best friend. Castiel has an absent father, a stellar GPA, a comprehensive ten-year plan, and—a lot of reservations about all this.
Comments: This is an incredible fic. It deals with some heavy subjects, from small-town prejudice, to serious medical illness, to shitty parenting, but it balances it with very refreshing bouts of hope and love. There is enough good mixed in that the bad is bearable (but still a million tears for Castiel). The art is also aces.
The author’s notes mention an epilogue (which I am dying for) but since it’s been a few years, I don’t think it’s coming (tears).
