Actual Conversations with My GF - Culinary Edition
Her: "I'm still hungry."
Me: "...I was thinking of making the salad kit we never ate on Saturday."
Her: "Would it be crazy if I put hot sauce on my salad?"
Me: "No."
Her: "..."
Me: "No, really. People put crushed red pepper on their salad all the time. That's basically the same thing but wetter."
Her: "What if I said to put hot sauce on my PB&J?"
Me: "Now you're going to far. Nutella and hot sauce, maybe..."
Her: "..." >looking at me like I just proposed murdering an entire maternity ward<
Me: "Nutella and hot sauce."
Her: "I HEARD YOU, BUT THAT'S WAY TOO FAR, WOMAN!!!"
Lemme share with y'all what transpired tonight with the note that we know how blessed we are that this is happening and we are thankful to whatever god or gods or spirits or just fucking luck that helped us. We worked fucking hard to get here.:
First: we sent our buyer's response to the sellers of this house and our realtor sent it with an email that not only had teeth, but claws and fucking KNIVES because we told them we are DONE. Either they accept the fact they're going to give us cash for all the repairs that should've been done right the first time, or we walk. No compromise.
It has been a nail biter day.
Second: the stress of the house buying thing and not having slept in 24 hours got the better of me and I had a massive panic attack/meltdown then passed out for 5 hours.
Third: I was sending our realtor and our lender, two ladies who are supremely awesome, apologetic texts for being a basket case today. I am happy that I can recognize when my anxiety gets the better of me and can take ownership of it and fix it. Collateral damage when I have panic attacks are not an excuse to not make things right.
Fourth: our realtor said, "I hope to have some news that will help you sleep better tonight." And, while I was typing, "well, hopefully something will come there" she sent "I got a response." And my brain went WHAT and shut down.
Fifth: the sellers accepted everything. There was much shrieking. I shrieked. Super Spouse shrieked. We called our realtor and shrieked some more.
Sixth: Super Spouse proposed to me again and said we are renewing our vows in that house.
Seventh: I am now Gomez Addams, looking at Morticia "I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss." I would fucking burn down the world for this creature I have attached myself to.
Ninth: I told him "I know it's not always been easy. You have weathered the storms. You are my lighthouse. No matter how bad the storms get, you show my way home." I did not plan that. It came right out my chest. It was like my soul was talking.
I just found my renewal vows.
Thus ends the update. I am going to go continue to bask in this and maybe scream in happiness some more.
Brought to you by the principles of: “Maria was established as a thoughtful, caring, intuitive character what the fuck are you writing”; “Michael is in no shape to be in a relationship with anyone holy shit”; and “Liz is allowed to still care about people other than Max why is this happeninggggg”
Part One: Maria the friend
-Instead of the writers having Maria (and Liz) assuming that Alex is just a sad, pathetic gay boy who’s spent the last decade in unrequited pining for the only guy who ever showed interest in him in high school, so why have any conversations about it really, Maria (and Liz) treat Alex’s feelings with respect and don’t minimize the significance of Alex and Michael’s 10-year relationship. Instead, Maria’s conflict over whether to prioritize her friend’s feelings or her own inspires her to reflect on her friendships and how she defines herself by them.
-It seems clear that Maria was the heart of their social group: Rosa, Liz, and Alex all seem to consider her their best friend. Maria has been shown to take that responsibility very seriously, especially with Rosa’s memory. Maria works through how she has placed herself in the “fun friend” role in her mind’s own narrative, specifically as how that relates to her being a Black woman, in conversations with her mom and Liz. This results in Maria strengthening her resolve to find ways to center and prioritize herself in her own life and in Liz realizing she needs to tell Maria the truth about Rosa.
-In the aftermath of these revelations, Maria has an honest conversation with Alex about her conflicting feelings, how hopeful she felt about a relationship with Michael and how badly she feels about possibly hurting Alex, and how the alien/Rosa reveal has made her question Michael. Alex is allowed to express his hurt feelings about the dissolution of his and Michael’s relationship while still supporting Maria and advocating for Michael as a good person. Maria ultimately decides she owes it to herself to see what could grow between her and Michael, and since the way Alex talks about Michael makes it clear that he is still in love with him, she remains conscientious and considerate of Alex’s feelings and doesn’t involve him emotionally in her relationship or engage in PDA with Michael in front of him.
Part Two: Maria the girlfriend
-Throughout the events of Part One, Michael has continued to show interest in Maria and insist that he and Alex are over. Once they start dating, Michael is super attentive and caring but very avoidant of opening up about himself and very concerned about losing Maria. The cracks we saw in their relationship in canon are there, exacerbated by the fact that Maria is actively trying to get to know Michael better and genuinely connect with him but he just wants to focus on her. It becomes clear to Maria that while Michael wants to be good for her, he is not in a good place for himself and the relationship isn’t necessarily what she thought it would be.
-The tipping point comes when Alex is in a dangerous situation and the way Michael reacts and the way they look at each other after makes it very clear to Maria that Michael is still in love with Alex and things between them are far from over. She tries to confront Michael about his feelings, and he uses the excuse that he and Alex have just been working together to find out about Michael’s mom, which only makes things worse because Maria didn’t know about that and Michael has never turned to her or opened up to her about those issues. Maria is understandably angry at Michael for using her/their relationship as a distraction and avoidance technique for all of the problems in his life and for not being honest about his feelings for Alex. She ends their romantic relationship and asks for space before they can be friends again.
Part Three: Maria the psychic
-In pain from the breakup with Michael, and feeling uncomfortable around Alex after things with Michael didn’t turn out to be ‘worth’ the pain it caused all of them, Maria turns to Isobel (as a fellow psychic) and Liz (as a scientist) and dives into an exploration of her powers and her family history. Maria recontextualizes her earlier resolution to center herself in her own life and divorces that goal from pursuing a relationship with Michael. Instead, she works with Isobel to strengthen her powers and with Liz to prevent side-effects. This leads to her heroic actions at the end of the season. Michael comes to visit her in the hospital and they start to rebuild a friendship.
-In terms of what Maria actually discovers about her family history, I’m a little torn on what I’d prefer. The show offered us two explanations for her power, one about her grandmother being experimented on at Caulfield and one about her great-grandmother being an alien. I didn’t love either of those for different reasons but I think the first one makes more sense (and doesn’t result in Isobel and Maria being related) but I’m not crazy about the show evoking that particular cultural and historical trauma (especially since they went nowhere with it). I also like that Maria’s family, particularly the women, is a source of pride and strength and I’d hate to see that darkened. So maybe an alternate take on that would be that Maria’s family helped save/protect Isobel’s mom and were given powers, either as a gift or an accident from the close contact? But I’m open to other thoughts.
