Chapter 1: Evelyn Allen's Guide to Fake Dating
Two months back, Evelyn kissed the third person she’d ever kissed.
It was Lilith’s party, and the girl’s parents were never home, and she lived in a large mansion with a pool. She had a bar, and Evelyn, ever the experimenter, swung around, trying the punch she knew was spiked, playing beer pong, diving into the pool recklessly while partially drunk.
She was so out of herself that she cornered a girl in the cupboard and kissed her hard. They’d made out and the girl had pressed Evelyn against the wall while Evelyn had clung to the girl’s hips and trailed her hands over the girl’s back.
It was the cheerleader, and Evelyn had sprang back and almost punched the girl, but she was so uncoordinated she stumbled out of the cupboard instead, and to remove the taste of the girl from her mouth, Evelyn had kissed the first person she’d seen. It had felt bland, useless, even worse than the kisses with Liam had felt.
Evelyn had pushed him away, muttering under her breath about how even Liam’s kiss was better than this. That was what she’d intended to say, but if he focused on that night she knew she’d actually said Liam, voice a little rough around the edges and muttered something about how his kiss was better, her entire sentence lost to alcohol.
She had stumbled around in heels and Liam had escorted her back home because though she only lived a little distance away, he was a nice friend. She had seen the face of the guy she had kissed, but thought nothing of the raised eyebrows.
Now though, Evelyn looked at the very familiar face who knew just how drunk Evelyn could get and knew the perfect story. Idly, she realized with a small internal laugh that Liam’s cousin had to be the person she kissed. Cameron was her height when she had her heels on, which was impressive, but looking at him gave her that dizzy feeling she had at that party.
Evelyn fiddled with her hoops and said, “hey Cam,” in the most, i-know-we-kissed-but-can-we-forget-that tone she had ever used. She wasn’t into denial much. Better to face things head on. But anyone who was actually dating Liam would be awkward at having kissed his cousin.
“Evelyn,” Cameron said, a small smile gracing his lips mischievously as he sat next to her in the cafeteria. “So… Liam and you, huh?”
Okay, now it was a free pass to act normal again. “Listening to the rumor mill again, Cameron? Didn’t think you’d like it after they thought you kissed your sister.” Evelyn stared at him right in the eye and took a sip of her chocolate milkshake.
Cameron, who was just about to chew down his food, coughed and drank water hurriedly. “Seriously? Lilith didn’t start that rumor. Everyone knows 99% of rumors that Lilith starts are true.”
“Maybe I’m in the 1%, genius.” Evelyn bit back, staring at him with hazel eyes and slung her black hair over her shoulder.
“So it’s a coincidence you and Liam usually match clothes?” Cameron’s grin got even larger as if he knew her secret.
Idiot. Evelyn made Liam wear socially acceptable clothes, and matched them with her for fun, because usually they had classes together and Liam liked being matchy-matchy with someone. Though the human brain had a tendency to make patterns when someone was looking for them, so she could forgive Cameron she supposed.
She did remember how hard it was to convince Liam the first time. Evelyn had climbed up to his room window, picked the lock and took a scissor out of her pocket and held it to his neon clothes and told him she’d tear half of them up if he didn’t wear something normal.
It was school picture day, and Mrs. Walker had basically begged her to do something about her son’s clothes anyway. Besides, with how rich the Walker family was, a few clothes would barely have made a dent on Liam’s massive closet that had actually good clothes that didn’t even require effort to match.
They didn’t match today though. Evelyn was wearing her black skirt with black top on top, under which she had a white long sleeved t-shirt. She wore her black boots with heels, but didn’t do any makeup because there was no time between her morning practice for gymnastics and her first class. Liam however, turned up with his extremely bright neon combo paired with expensive boots that he used to make himself look a little taller.
“We aren’t even matching today,” Evelyn said, giving Cameron barely a glance before playing with the straw of her milkshake.
“Because you had gymnastics practice. Our entire house knows your schedule whether it’s from Liam or-” Cameron broke off. “Well, we know your schedule, and Clara did try her best to make Liam look presentable, but he ran to his room, changed into his hideous clothes and escaped out of his window.”
Evelyn let out a little laugh, because despite her annoyance at Liam’s dressing habits, the look on Cameron’s face was worth it. She was, however, curious as to why he cut himself off. “I’m working on it.”
“Oh, we know. So, is he your boyfriend or not?”
“Yes, Cameron, you nosy child, I am dating Liam. Was this the only reason you sat here today and can I go back to my milkshake?” Evelyn wouldn’t have responded after anyway, because the cafeteria was loud and trying to hold a conversation made her brain hurt, especially with Cameron, who always looked like he was laughing at a joke the rest of the world hadn’t even heard of.
“When’d you get together? Up until two weeks back we were setting him up so much.” Cameron groaned. “He was nicest with people who looked like you. We should’ve guessed.”
“In any other context, Cam, given my whiteness, he would sound racist as fuck man,” Evelyn said, and laughed as Cameron wrinkled his nose.
“You know what I mean. Why do you keep trying to divert the topic?”
“Do I need to talk about the love of my life to you Cameron? Do you want to know what kissing him feels like?” Evelyn mocked, scowling, hating that he realized her favorite hobby was diverting the topic as much as possible. “Maybe the rumor was true though. You should apologize to the girl who spread it.”
Cameron stared at her, affronted, jaw dropped and Evelyn laughed on the inside, knowing that he wouldn’t have been disgusted even if she described what kissing Liam felt like. It felt like a drag, a bore, bland, just lips against lips, completely a waste of time. Of course, Cameron’s was worse, but no need to break the poor guy’s heart.
Evelyn did have a description for the kiss. Much to her chagrin, when Steph had asked her about it, Evelyn had frozen up and muttered everything she’d thought of when she’d kissed that cheerleader under the bleachers.
Embarrassing stuff.
She chugged her milkshake and got up. “Asshole,” Cameron said. “How Liam’s dating someone like you, I’ll never know.”
Someone like you. Evelyn had heard that before. So many times it was getting exhausting.
When she was ten, it was someone with a disturbed brain and gory thoughts, someone with too much curiosity and too little understanding of what things people shouldn’t say out loud. When she was thirteen it meant someone who got into fights on a much too regular basis but never got caught, someone who drove her bicycle straight into another bicycle at the perfect angle to not get injured. When she was fifteen it meant someone with a fucked up brain, someone who was a dirty little secret and someone who didn’t have the confidence to break up with someone pretending to be straight.
Now, it meant someone who had a motorbike she was completely willing to drive into a garage after the person tried to bully Liam. It meant someone who used rumors to destroy that person’s relationship. Now, it was a badge of honor.
Evelyn wasn’t sure how Cameron meant it.
“Really Cameron? What would your big sister think of such mean words?” Evelyn asked, though she knew exactly what Clara Williams would think.
Cameron had two siblings, one was Clara and the other was Sadie. Sadie was the one he was rumored to have kissed when people were trying to run a shade campaign against Cameron and Sadie for some reason, even though Evelyn knew it was the biggest lie ever.
The rumor had never touched Clara Williams, president of the student council, varsity swimmer, head of one too many clubs, shoe-in for an Ivy. She was much too nice for anyone, and she had never dated anyone. Evelyn was pretty sure half of the school had confessed secrets to that pretty face, not that Evelyn could blame them.
Clara Williams, with her olive skin, long strawberry blonde hair and with a fashion sense that just erred on the line of not getting dress-coded, shone. She wore bizarre clothes that somehow went together, she had perfected the no-makeup makeup look, had the deepest, clearest blue eyes Evelyn had ever seen in a person, and when Liam had shown Evelyn a picture of Clara, she could only think about painting those eyes, sitting on a seat for hours to just draw something that sparkled so vibrantly.
Evelyn knew from the past three years that Clara Williams was one of the most lenient student presidents and also very protective over her siblings. It was really fun to watch her punch someone’s face after school in the dimly lit alley next to Evelyn’s house. She hadn’t been caught, but Evelyn had a habit of gazing like a lost soul from the window when she should be studying.
“What Clarry doesn’t know won’t hurt you. Besides, she’s going to come to interrogate you over Liam later anyway,” Cameron said. “Probably next time you go to Liam’s house.”
Funny thing about the cousins. Their parents did not like Liam’s parents and after a very messy fight had gone to another house at the end of the street that they also owned. (Rich people, wow.) The cousins came over and stayed at Liam’s house a lot though because their parents traveled all over a lot of the time but they hadn’t been there most of the time Evelyn had gone to Liam’s house. Cameron had been there sometimes, Sadie and Clara had never been there.
It would be easy enough for Clara to corner Evelyn there and give her the shovel talk or whatever Clara Williams wanted. Evelyn just needed to be her usual, closeted, moter-bike loving, confident and sarcastic self and she’d be fine.
“Good luck,” Cameron said with a laugh. “Sure hope she finds out you kissed me once. That’ll make my day. But, thinking of it. You didn’t tell me how you two got together.”
“I’m sure you have theories though.”
“The party,” Cameron said, and Evelyn bit her lip to hide her smile when she saw how he really thought he was putting pieces together. “I think Liam saw us kissing, got pissed and stewed in self-pity until he finally said no to dating other people. He vanished for a whole day, and I think he said that he liked you that time.”
Okay, well that was interesting. Evelyn had no idea where Liam had gone that whole day, though Liam had told her he was going to be hanging out with some guys in the evening. Not what he was doing the whole day. He wasn’t with a girl, because or else he likely wouldn’t have needed a fake girlfriend in the first place, the other guys he hung out were doing something Evelyn didn’t care to remember, and he wasn’t with her. She wondered who he was. Especially since Liam hated being alone.
A whole day would be too much for the poor guy. She was, however, going to go with the story she created for Steph. “He didn’t see us. But the day after the party, he helped me get over the really bad hangover, and he- well he kissed me. I didn’t know what to do,” Evelyn ducks her head and slaps her forehead with her head. “Man, he ran. I chased, but he’s fast when he wants to be. Then in recess, we talked about it.”
Recess was Evelyn and Liam time. They didn’t share too many classes, but fooled around in recess, discussed if they had time to hang out and shit, or just helped each other with really serious tests coming up. According to Liam, Evelyn was a math nerd, and given that she had gone to AMC 10 last year and it had gone pretty well, she knew he had a point. And her obsession with taking all AP’s she could for math. So she helped him in math and he made sure she didn’t fail stuff like English of all subjects.
Everyone, at least most people in their grade knew it after Evelyn almost bit one dude’s head off for approaching them. Maybe she was a bit volatile and aggressive, but Liam had reminded her to apologize and she had, so Evelyn figured the guy had no reason to hate her anymore.
But no one approached them after that.
“Recess?” Cameron asked. “Commonly labeled by Liam as him and Eve time?” His eyes brightened with a dawning realization. “Do not tell me what you do then,” He muttered. “I do not want to know.”
Well, for what he knew he was connecting the dots quickly, but what he knew was wrong, so r.i.p Cameron. Evelyn thought she could suggest to Liam they sneak around to pretend they were actually kissing, without actually doing so. It would satisfy anyone with any doubts about them.
Wow, she was actually smart for one time in her goddamn life, Evelyn thought to herself. Might have to tell Liam that. Although Liam would probably end up telling her not to say that, so no.
“I thought you wanted to know all about Liam and me,” Evelyn pointed out, making a steady decision not to call herself stupid. Wasn’t the time for that right now. She had a milkshake in front of her, and she didn’t let herself have a bad mood in front of a milkshake. Which was the reason she was having it right after an entire class of sitting with that cheerleader.
“I just wanted to-”
“Give me a shovel talk, but I have a feeling you derailed,” Evelyn pointed out.
Cameron laughed. “I wasn’t going to give you a shovel talk. You literally wrecked Carter’s garage with your motorbike, so I figured you wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. I do know though, if you try anything, Clara will ruin your last two years in this damn school and you can kiss your college dreams goodbye.”
“Thirteen years of friendship with Liam and this is what I get?” Evelyn’s lips twitched. She knew it was lenient, from what Liam had told her about Cameron threatening Sadie’s boyfriend. It was something along the lines of cutting off something you don’t want to lose and destroying the dude’s car or something. Evelyn wasn’t sure.
“I was already too nice, Eve,” Cameron teased, using the nickname only Liam used for her.
Ass.
Evelyn patted him on the head as she finished her milkshake and got up from her seat in the cafeteria. “I’m so grateful for that Cammy,” Evelyn nodded meekly and laughed not even two seconds later at Cameron’s annoyed face.
“What, do you only let your boyfriend call you that?” Cameron asked and raised his eyebrows.
Boyfriend.
What a way to be closeted.