#adam content

[cafeteriaoats]

my dads become a fucking hoarder in animal crossing and his shit is all over my island cuz he just builds stuff without thinking abt where its gonna go and im tired of it! also he keeps leaving mean messages on my message board and he made a shirt that says “fuck u” which he wears with aviator sunglasses. also he hits flo (who he calls “stoner penguin”) on the head with his net on purpose cuz he doesnt like her. im accepting applications for a new dad

[cafeteriaoats]

my dad feels bad for fighting with me so hes buying me little planchettes to turn into earrings cuz i kept talking about the cute planchette earrings i saw a girl wearing at whole foods so i guess its a truce. anyways i feel like this frozen banana i saw at the bus stop

[indomitum]

oh oh oh and

and

fucking-matt smith in a movie that is lITERALLY MY OC MURDERER/STALKER (yes i have a big scary tol whom i love) AND HE’S THE FC

[cafeteriaoats]

living in my house is just like *has a nice family breakfast while listening to all time low at full blast*

[cafeteriaoats]

my dad is building a candy chute for trick or treaters right now. it is massive and bright orange

[cafeteriaoats]

im so happy i finished all my college applications and my dad celebrated by making me and my mom weird tequila-y drinks he remembered from his many years as a bartender and now i am in bed playing two dots and listening to my dad tipsy trying to train my dog to roll over and screaming “:0 GOOD BOYYY!!!!!” every 30 seconds

[cafeteriaoats]

dads: ew i dont want a dog! no animals in my house!

dad when u get a dog:

[cafeteriaoats]

tonight we’re thinking about how my dad refuses to drink coffee thats not iced