Glory
I feel it! I’m getting stronger moving forward in a way growing up. I’m trying at least , and although my methods are a little unorthodox it’s getting better. Also may just be on the up and up with the current mood swing. Either way I’m doing better. I don’t care as much I think I’m starting to slip away from the darkness I kinda see where I was going wrong. I’m avoiding the triggers for the most part. I still find myself looking in to the past, clining to what was never there. Flipping over my phone hoping to see that text alert calling me forth to spring in to action. I think what we experience is love, it’s just differnet forms and shades of it. I mean it changes just like anything in this life does just trying to fit perfectly to survive the moment. I still read in to things recklessly hoping that I might be the exception to the rule that has played for so many in the past. That thing that light were search for, I think it maybe Glory. Something that lets us and others deem us special above the cut something that makes us stand out. The way I see it, just as humans need attention I think we crave from ourselves the most. But who am I to say this we are the same just searching for meaning a pattern anything that will give us some guidance or a sense of clarity. I think I’ve discovered a little for of that self acceptance but, there is something that I want that like I said I can’t seem to let go of. It’s not just with mental stuff of getting use to that change a part of my feelings and my head are on the same page about this one. There are so many pieces missing to this puzzle that even with them being on the same page everything is still so uneasy and unclear.Even working together they seemed to be more apart when I am around the said event. Nothing comes out the way I want it to my emotion that comes in waves my words that spit more with intent. Internal error always occurs like I can’t handle the processing speeds. I mean as I look at the overall situation I’m in the odds aren’t really in my favor to begin with. I guess I’m glad I’m not really giving a shit anymore.I’m done spaying my bullshit allover this enterance in to my fucked way f thinking hope someone got some entertainment out of this