down the drain || based on this post
dedicated to @lawschoolsammy for encouraging this & @assigned-boyking-at-birth for making the original post <3
warnings: drug use, blood, suicidal thoughts
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The bathroom door slams behind Sam, louder than he was expecting, it sends a shock of pain throbbing through his skull. Deans clanking of taking off his boots and throwing their duffle of need-to-be-cleaned guns and knives onto the bed helps nothing.
He moves past it and slips the little baggy of power from his jean pocket, he hasn’t had a fix in god knows how long. No weed, no alcohol, no coke, fucking nothing. He thinks if someone offered him heroin while he and Dean were still out hunting those vampires he would’ve taken the offer. But now he can set up a few lines before going out and acting normal with his brother, or at least try to.
He spreads the powder on the side of the bathrooms sink, taking one of the many illegal credit cards from his wallet and scraping the power into fine lines. Normally he dumps it on his fingernail and snorts it that way but he figured he’d take the time tonight, he gets more in one hit this way anyways.
There’s an instant rush of euphoria after Sam snorts the coke, wiggling his nose to make it go down a little more comfortably. His headaches already starting to go away and suddenly the mud and blood covered clothes he wears aren’t so heavy. He takes another hit.
It’s not til the bag is empty and he’s taking the last bit of powder from his fingernail to his nose that he realizes the blood dripping down into the sink. There’s a lot of it, too much. He doesn’t know if it’s all his, maybe it’s from one of the vampires, or the innocent girl they killed, or maybe it’s Jessica’s. Or Ruby’s. Or Dean’s.
It can’t all be his, not that much blood could pour out of his nose, right? He looks down again and flicks the tap on, watching intently how the red that looks more orange-ish in the lighting swirls in with the water. It goes down the drain quickly, he turns the handle and the water stops, more blood appears.
His head feels fuzzy and body too light to be his own, maybe it is his blood, maybe he’s bleeding out. He doesn’t know, he hopes it is, he hopes he swirls down the drain with it.
