To all you TRUE A.D.H.D. folks out there.
I emphasize TRUE because there are a lot of people out there that say that they have problems concentrating so they can get prescribed Adderal or Concerta to loose weight or to sell and make a killing on during college finals. This post is not for those people. This post is for the people like me. The people who's heart starts to race and head starts to pound whenever someone taps a pen on a desk in a classroom or someone scratches their leg during a test or beats on their steering wheel just slightly off beat to the music. All of these things seem ridiculous to the average person, but to people like me, they resonate in your head as if they were over a loud speaker and your ear is right next to it.
I just had my first panic attack, and may I start off by saying, FUCK panic attacks. I have never felt so out of control and nuts in my life. I was attempting to do a history discussion post while sitting in my living room. My mother had the television on and was talking to me while banging pots and pans around in the kitchen trying to make dinner. The discussion post instructions were hard to understand and every time I took a breath, it sounded like the loudest gust of wind you have ever heard. My head started to throb and my heart started to race and my hands were shaking. I ran up to my room and started moving things around because the mere thought of sitting down on my bed when it had things on it made my heart beat faster.
I had to call Laura, my best friend, to slow my heart rate down because at this point I was crying and didn't know how to make it stop. Even after I was calmed down, I opened my computer back up to my history assignment and it felt like it was gonna start again.
I don't know what's happening to me. I think I'm losing it. That, or I have some serious anxiety problems towards school, and if that is the case, I have some serious problems in general.
Fuck, dude. Ya'll pray for me or something, cause this is gonna take a miracle.
