I found my way back to our place. The place where we first met, where we shared our dreams and experiences, where we made memories that I will cherish forever.
In the distance, I watch a girl with the brightest eyes and the most beautiful smile sitting under a cherry blossom tree. The sight captivated me and without thinking, I slowly walked my way towards you. I peered over the sketchbook on your lap and saw nothing else but a drawing of the large cherry blossom.
You, who admired the aura of a single tree, expressing its beauty through your art. I wonder, is this your special place?
Before I could think of anything else, you turned to me and asked, “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
But not as beautiful as you, I thought.
You introduced yourself and gave me the most sincere smile. I stood there for quite some time contemplating whether if this is reality or not. I pinched my arm and gasped out of shock. With a concerned expression you asked, “Is there anything wrong?”
Dumbfounded by the realization, I tried to play it cool by saying, “No, nothing’s wrong. I’m Chanyeol, by the way.”
You giggled softly and offered me to have a look at your artwork. I complied as I sat down and took the sketchbook from your hands. As I
flipped throughout the book, I noticed that all the pages contained the same, old cherry blossom tree. Different frames, different angles and different perspectives of the same tree standing strongly next to us.
You began to explain, “Our project is about how the human life cycle is expressed throughout an item of desirable beauty.”
"And you chose this old tree?" I asked in confusion.
You blushed, “Well y-yeah. The perception of beauty is subjective, Chanyeol-ah.”
I started to awkwardly laugh at your innocent and pouty face. I muttered an “I guess that’s true.”
You promised, “On the first snow of the year, I promise to tell you why I chose this cherry blossom. I think winter is the time that compliments its feature the most, even if it is bare.”
For the next few hours, we continued to get to know more about each other. You had a lot of personal inputs and opinions, residing with mine which, makes you very unique. Nobody ever sees anything the way I do, so it feels great to finally have a connection with someone that does.
On the first day I met you, I knew there was an attraction pulling us together. I silently hope that the feeling is mutual and that you feel it too.
We met at our place every weekend and spent hours there, just talking like we had all the time in the world. I looked forward to it every week
and my friends kept on asking why I was always busy during the weekend. I was forced to tell them about you;
You, whom I think of the moment I wake.
You, who’s voice sounds like a choir of angels to my ears.
You, who is simple yet very alluring.
The gentle you, who sees the beauty in everything.
I think I may have fallen for you.
I will never forget the day when I decided to finally ask you to be my girlfriend. For you to be my one and only.
The first snow of the winter season was our scheduled meeting at the place where we first met. I dress semi-formally and practice in front
of the mirror of how I would ask you to be mine. It’s crazy how in a matter of time, we can bonded by our love, together as a couple.
I arrived at our place and noticed that the cherry blossom tree was quite frail and it did not look as healthy as it was yesterday. Maybe it’s because of the winter snow.
I waited for your arrival as I paced back and forth nervously. You were usually here before me but, I guess something came up.
I checked my cellphone for any missed calls or texts from you but, there were nothing. Where could you be?
Just then, a pink flower from the cherry blossom tree landed beneath from my feet. That’s strange. Most trees don’t bloom any flowers in the winter.
I watched the blossom flower drift away as a strong, gush of wind blew. I turned my attention back to the tree and an odd feeling suddenly grew in the pit of my stomach. I knew something was wrong. I had the urge to find you but, I couldn’t move my legs. I don’t understand what is happening. It’s like something is stopping me from trying to find you, like gravity’s pull was suddenly twice as strong.
I forced my feet to move towards the opposite direction of the cherry blossom tree we’ve both come to adore. As I approached the busy streets, I came across a large crowd of bystanders circling around a half-dead figure, its features resemble yours. It can’t be.
I couldn’t move. Nothing was stopping me this time.
As the police and paramedics cleared the scene, the crowd dispersed and in the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of an object. There, lying on the pavement was your sketchbook.
"So in reality, that figure was really you, huh?" I whispered to myself.
I walked slowly towards the item and picked it up with my cold, shaky hands. I flipped through the pages of the book to your last entry; it was a drawing of the cherry blossom tree. Only this time, it had no flair. No more shades of pink, only tints of black, grey and white. The only color depicted on the artwork was of two small figures; a man and woman hand in hand, happily conversing next to the dull tree and a message at the bottom of the page handwritten in pink;
Chanyeol-ah,
Today is the first snow and you know what that
means! Do you remember my promise? It’s the
day I tell you why I’ve been drawing the same
cherry blossom tree throughout the year!
You see, this cherry blossom tree symbolizes
human existence. From my point of view, the
blooming beauty of its flowers then, the all too
soon scattering of petals represent life itself.
You may not understand but, this is my
perspective on how I understand the cycle of life.
I am also thankful to the cherry blossom tree
because it brought the two of us together.
Beneath this tree, is where I learnt to love. The
countless times we’ve spent together is where
I’ve felt the happiest and it is when I realized that
I have fallen in love with you.
On the first snow where we supposedly were to become united, I stayed in your hospital room as I tightly clutched your sketchbook close to my chest and bawled until I fell asleep.
Here I am now, back in our place, where the two of us started. I sit beneath the cherry blossom that captured my attention before I set my eyes on you and I have come to realize why it represents human life. The fragility of the cherry blossom is like our lives. The blooming period is where the person is living their life to the fullest and also representing our unique beauty. As the tree blossoms each flower, it symbolizes each day we complete, a memory that each of us has made and the scattering of petals is our unwavering movement towards our death.
I remember reading the file report about your accident. It turns out that the driver of a car lost control of the wheel because of the icy road, causing it to swerve into the footpath, where you were walking. You were sent to the Intensive Care Unit at the hospital and they said that you are in a coma, nearing death.
It’s been two years and since that day, the cherry blossom tree hadn’t bloomed any flowers. Like me, it must be waiting in hopes of your return.
Waiting for you to fill it with color and life once more.
A/N: Here’s a Chanyeol angst for the lovely anon <3
