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Politely Asked To Leave
“So a Qunari, a Vint, and an elf get kicked out of a pool…This sounds like the perfect setup for a joke.”
Dorian had very kindly booked a relaxing wellness session for them all. He should have known better really.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I finally got round to finishing my dumbass fic where Dorian, Bull, and Lavellan get kicked out of a wellness session😂
More Dragon Age shenanigans featuring my Inquisitor Michi
Iron Bull - Nice hit back there Boss. Didn't know a mage had it in them. You working something out?
Dorian - Problem with a certain strapping young templar perhaps?
Michi - No. Yes.
Verric - Which is it? Curly not treating you right?
Michi - He's the picture of chivalry, sometimes a little too much. He'll sneak off to the ramparts for a kiss but that's it.
Verric - That's good, might borrow that for a story. Clandestine meeting of lovers, yeah, I can work with that.
Iron Bull - But it's not enough.
Michi - I want to bend him over his desk and fuck him so hard he won't be able to sit during the next advisory meeting.
Iron Bull - Haha, there's the boss I know.
Verric - I'm not writing that part.
Dorian - Hey, Bull, do you think?
Iron Bull - The table would break, don't think your ass could handle that many splinters.
Sleepy, cuddle, nap time with cute baby Adorabull.🐮💕
I wrote this drabble like a hundred years ago for a friend. Just stumbled upon it on my old blog and felt like reposting!
Iron Bull and Dorian in the Modern!Verse (The Charger’s Bar)
They’re not even past the second aisle in the supermarket when it starts.
"What’s this?“ Iron Bull’s hand keeps reaching into the plastic basket slung on Dorian’s elbow, snatching things out as quickly as the younger man can put them in. Pavus just wants to read the ingredients on the new line of conditioners (all herbal, his perky little ass ) in peace, but he knows if he doesn’t answer, Bull will crowd him up against the display rack and get them kicked out of the store again. Sighing loudly, the mage turns to loft an eyebrow at his boyfriend.
"Bull, I know you can read. It’s the same toothpaste we always get.”
Bull makes a low, grumbling sound of displeasure. He’s directing his ire at the narrow tube of paste in his hand. “– No it isn’t. It’s citrus mint. What the fuck is citrus mint?”
"It’s the new flavor" Dorian shrugs, turning back around as if that explained everything.
Behind him, the Qunari grunts again, a sound in the negative. He tosses the tube back on the shelf and instead grabs a blocky rectangle to drop into the basket. “…This is better.”
Looking down, Pavus swallows a sound of horror. Oh Hell No. “Bull, that’s baking soda!”
"Yeah, and it works.“ Iron Bull replies, nonplussed by his lover’s theatrics.
"It’s disgusting! We use that to de-odorize the fridge!”
At this, Bull heaves a sigh loud enough to rival even Dorian’s broadcasted disgust. He begrudgingly pulls the baking soda (it is toothpaste, at least) from their basket and sets it back on the shelf. Dorian’s hand is creeping back towards the ‘new and improved citrus mint’ tube when the Qunari presents him with another brightly colored box.
"– Fine.“ Bull replies, sounding far too pleased to not be getting his way. ”…But if we’re gonna get a new flavor, we should get this.“
Dorian narrows his eyes, grabbing Bull’s wrist before he can drop his contribution into the basket. He lifts the Qunari’s hand and reads the label. ”…that’s– Bull, that’s bubblegum toothpaste. It’s for children!“
"Bet it tastes good, though.” Bull hums, his eyebrow doing that thing, “…Especially when I lick it off your tongue.”
And like usual, the Qunari’s vulgar word choice has a way of making Dorian falter mid-disgust, his neck heating up as he is (unwillingly!) tantalized by the thought. And Maker above, the thought of bubblegum flavored kisses should not be this arousing, what the fuck is wrong with him!?
The Iron Bull is smirking down at Dorian, his expression clearly stating he knows exactly what thoughts he’s put in the mage’s head. He wiggles the box at Pavus, and the younger man tries very hard not to notice that there are dragons on the front of it.
“……fine.” Dorian huffs at last, “But it goes under the sink. Andraste take me if Vivienne ever sees that in our bathroom.”
Laughing, Bull drops the toothpaste into the basket, leaning in to breathe warmly against the curve of Pavus’s throat. He rumbles, “you’re an excellent boyfriend, Kadan…”
Bull backs Dorian into the endcap of nasal strips while the younger man tries to scoff at such heavy handed compliments and fails. And of course they get kicked out of the supermarket anyway.
Not that either of them regret it.
We made my dog a rocker vest and he's really proud of it. Hope it makes you smile! Patches not pictured include Metallica and Sgt. Pepper. 🤟 🎸
Mondays are tough!
I got a love for the side romances in dragon age
this and others available on my redbubble https://www.redbubble.com/people/samspics118/works/40423046-da-side-couples-dorian-x-the-iron-bull?asc=u
