#aefae

[ysphcpb]

"Krist Perawat said he's never eaten Khanom jeen."

[ysphcpb]

Tell me, what am I supposed to do?

[ohmygodtheykilledcartman]

Warm Up with The Sweet Squad! just some of the little fellas that talk to the bois form aefae!

[dgalerab]

(an alternate ending to An Eye For An Eye, in which the five that arrives after the final jump is not a compound five, but just plain old 13 year old five. i’ll post on ao3 later when i think of a title)

“He should be arriving today, right?” Vanya asked. “I mean, do we know what time?”

“Yeah, I bet a lot of clocks survived the moon exploding,” Ben muttered.

“I’m just worried,” she snapped. “What if he got lost again or something?”

“We’re all worried, Vanya, but there’s nothing to do but wait and see what happens,” Klaus sighed from where he was building a card tower.

“Shouldn’t he be here by now?” Diego asked, storming into the kitchen with enough force to send the unstable tower crashing down.

“We don’t know when it’s supposed to happen,” Ben. “Just that it’s roughly today.

“Yeah, well, it’s today right now!”

“Genius observation, Diego,” Klaus muttered.

Diego dragged up a chair and collapsed back into it. “What are we going to do if he’s 13? What, raise him?

“Yeah,” Klaus said, albeit hesitantly. “I guess. I don’t know.”

“I feel like we should be prepared for the worst,” Allison said as she and Luther joined the others. “A freaked out 13 year old.”

“Well, that hardly seems like the worst,” Klaus said. “I mean, with all the shit Dad said about what time travel can do to your mind, I feel like the worst is that every jump has had an effect on his brain and he ends up with like… dementia or an aneurysm or something.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Diego hissed.

“I see dead people all the time!” Klaus said. “This is what the drugs were for!”

“Okay, let’s… let’s not jump to any conclusions,” Luther interjected. “We’ll see what happens when he gets here, and we’ll try to deal with it as it comes.”

“Because we’re all so good at that,” Vanya muttered.

“Uh, yeah,” Luther said. “I think we’ve learned that we just… need to stay calm. Not be hasty.”

Diego sighed heavily. “Fine.”

They sat around in silence, Klaus fiddling with the silverware left on the table.

“Guys!” came Five’s voice, and they all shot to their feet. “Guys, I did it! Dad was…”

He skidded to a stop when he entered the kitchen, grin fading from his face.

“Oh, no,” Klaus said.

“Who the hell are you?” Five replied.

“Oh, god, you’re 13,” Klaus said.

“So?” Five snapped, at the ready. “I can still take you!”

“Okay, calm down…” Luther murmured, putting his hands up and taking a careful step forward.

Five vanished.

“Oh, great job,” Diego snapped.

“What? I was being calm!”

“You’re way too tall!”

“Well you’re scary!”

“Guys!” Allison snapped. “Come on!”

She raced towards the bedroom, and Klaus took off after her.

“Luther!” Five yelled, darting between their rooms. “Allison!”

“Shit, shit,” Klaus hissed. “If he’d just slow the fuck down we could show him the tattoos, but…” He whirled around as Five was on the other side of them, stumbling slightly.

“He has to run out of energy eventually,” Allison hissed. “F--”

He vanished again, and they raced back to the living room, joining up with Diego and Vanya.

“Dad!” Five yelled from the top of the stairs. “Guys?!”

Diego groaned and pulled out a knife.

“What are you doing!” Allison yelped, as the knife thudded into the wall in front of Five startling him enough to take a step back and nearly fall on his ass.

“Five!” Diego shouted. “Just stand still for one second so we can explain!”

Five took another stumbling step backward, then slowly turned around to look at them. His lashes fluttered around wide eyes as horror set in. “Diego?”

“Yeah!” Diego said, pulling up his sleeve to show him the tattoo. “That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you!”

Five’s eyes ghosted over the rest of them, mentally cataloging them. “You’re… How old are…”

“It’s April 9th, 2019,” Vanya said.

Five stared at her in horror. “It’s… what?”

“2019,” Allison murmured.

“I… I meant to… A year, two at most, I just…” Five stammered, whirling around. He pressed at the air, hands glowing and whirring to no avail. “I have to… I need to go back, I can’t… 17 years?”

“I don’t think you can, Five,” Klaus murmured.

“And even if you could, I,” Allison started, before pausing and taking a deep breath to steel herself for what she was about to say, “I don’t think you should.”

“I shouldn’t be with my family for 17 years?!” Five said. “What’s wrong with you? Why would you even say that?!”

“It’s kind of a long story,” Allison said, reaching for him. “Why don’t you just sit down, for a bit, and we’ll explain, okay?”

Five blinked at him, teary eyed. “Explain what? Why I can’t go home? Why I… I can’t… Jesus, you’re nearly 30.”

“Well, technically, I am 30,” Klaus said.

Five’s expression grew even more horrified. “What?”

“I also time travelled, to Vietnam, it was…. It’s a whole thing.”

“Come on. I’ll get you something to eat, you must be hungry,” Allison said.

“Where’s Dad?” Five said, sounding dazed.

“Dead,” Diego replied.

“What? How?” Five asked.

Vanya winced. “He sort of… got murdered by my ex.”

“What?” Five blurted. “He… what?”

“Five,” Allison murmured softly. “It’s a long story. Just… let us explain.”

“Why are you talking like that?” Five asked, tearing himself away from her. “Stop it!”

“Talking like what?” she asked.

“Like… Like you’re my mom or something!”

Allison snorted, grimacing a little. “I am a mom,” she said. “I have a little girl, named Claire. She’s five years old.”

Five stared at her. “Where is she?”

“In LA with her dad,” Allison said.

“LA,” Five mumbled.

“Five, listen,” Klaus tried.

“No!” Five shouted. “You listen! I need to go back! You idiots can’t do anything without me, I can’t just abandon you!” He stopped short, staring at them. At this point, Luther and Ben had caught up with them too. “Can… Can you?” He asked, in a small voice. “Were you… Were you okay without me?”

Luther took off his hoodie and draped it around Five’s shoulders. “Come on. Come on, we’ll tell you everything.”

Five sniffled, quiet tears dripping down his face as Luther led him downstairs.

Klaus took a deep breath, exchanging looks with Allison before they followed.

****************************

“Did you get all that?” Luther asked. “I know it’s a lot.”

Five stared at the floor. “Ben died?”

“I’m back now,” Ben said. “And being a ghost wasn’t so bad.”

“You all died,” Five said, voice hollow. “Twice.”

“Yeah,” Klaus said gently. “Kinda. But that’s all over now.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Five said, voice cracking. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” 

Luther caught him and hugged him tight as he burst into tears. 

He was so small. Even seeing him 13 for the past few weeks wasn’t as bizarre as this. He acted older, bigger. This was just Five, a child, exactly as Ben had last seen him before all this. He didn’t remember Five being so small.

“We know you didn’t,” Luther murmured. “We know. You left a letter. It was really nice.”

“I thought we weren’t going to tell him we read it,” Diego muttered halfheartedly.

“I think he needs to know,” Luther said. “It said all these really nice things and it changed our lives. And now we can get back to those lives, right? And we’ve been doing better at all of this stuff, since you’ve been back. I mean… the other you. But you-you as well.”

“Okay,” Five managed, taking a shuddering breath as Luther lifted him and wiped his tears away. “Okay, I… I guess.”

“Yeah, see?” Luther murmured. “See, you’re okay. It’s okay. We’re glad you’re back.”

“You’re so huge,” Five sobbed. “Why’d you get so tall?”

“Just sort of happened,” Luther said sheepishly.

“You should have seen him as a gorilla, man,” Diego said.

“Wait what?”

“I think we breezed over that,” Klaus said. “That was before he went to the moon. He nearly died, and Dad saved him with this magic serum that made him part gorilla or something. He was huge, man.” He paused. “Oh, and I also died, for a bit, and met god, but I was sort of sober, so I was fine!”

Five stared at him, and then burst into tears again.

[dgalerab]

Speaking of Klaus haunting Five in Timeline 2, how did he feel watching Five make the same mistake he warned them against doing? Aka trusting Leonard

oh god i didn’t even think of that oh fuck

now i’m just imaging ghost klaus being like “OH NO” and then frantically trying to get five’s attention about leonard for all of the months they live together like “HEY. HEY FIVE. HEY.” 

at some point with great effort he manages to knock over a trashcan and five’s like “huh that’s weird” and moves on bc he’s gotta gather food for the winter klaus is like “COME BACK HERE AND LISTEN TO ME THIS INSTANT” and then ends up sulkily walking back and forth through five just to live out his frustration and then when that does nothing he just lurks around leonard, glaring at him

oh wait because this is a klaus that has been personally murdered by leonard/harold after harold tortured his brother so he just lurks around being like “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY BROTHER AGAIN YOU SON OF A BITCH”

[dgalerab]

random aefae tidbit i couldn’t figure out how to include: the timeline 2 kids argued about who got to read the letter first for so long that they ended up reading each of their own sections out loud and anyway i know i was the one who wrote that letter and all but i’m still really emotional about it

[dgalerab]

thanks to @iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid i am now thinking about post aefae/wuas eudora getting pregnant (i don’t think the other hargreeves kids are having children any time soon. luther and allison have claire, klaus and five are busy parenting themselves, vanya has been overshadowed all her life and probably just wants to chill and live her life with her gf, and ben’s taking this whole “not being dead” thing slow)

anyway, helen and vanya would probably be the first to know because it’s the easiest way to get an insider and outsider pov and also there’s no way helen and eudora don’t bond over what it’s like to date a neglected superhero with a temper

helen’s like “rip the bandaid off and record the reaction” and eudora’s like “NO”

but she does eventually just tell diego over dinner at some point

his reaction is to panic

whenever claire is visiting, it’s a group effort to keep her safe and entertained and he’s like “IT TAKES ALL 7 OF US TO RAISE ONE CHILD HOW WILL WE HAVE TWO”

then he realizes how many things he can throw as knives and moves on to the “EVERYTHING IS KNIVES??? HOW DO WE EVEN CHILDPROOF AN APARTMENT WHERE EVERTHING. IS. KNIVES. MY SUPERPOWER. IS KNIVES”

then there’s a whole phase of like “I CAN’T BE A FATHER I’VE NEVER EVEN MET A FATHER WHAT DO FATHERS EVEN DO”

after like three hours of him freaking out, eudora’s like “okay listen, if you’re not ready, we don’t have to have this baby” and he’s like “I’M NOT GIVING UP MY BABY????? HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK I WANT THAT?????” and she’s like “.....................” because he’s just spent three hours freaking out about how he can’t have a father

once he gets past the worst of the freak out (he’s never entirely past the freak out because he’s about to be a father and he doesn’t know how to be a father) though he’s the kind of person who like... eudora mentions she’s craving chocolate pudding and pasta and he’s like... out the window to get it for her i m m e d i a t e l y

i feel like she has a very chill pregnancy but every time anyone brings up anything about the particulars of pregnancy that might be dangerous or even just gross he’s like “WHAT”. definitely tries to be supportive with her at any doctor’s appointments and passes out at two of them

also passes out during the delivery and so klaus takes over in comforting eudora who nearly breaks his hand

then he sits in the corner with his child and cries about it for like twenty minutes before eudora’s like “please give me back our child which i just shoved out of my vagina before i hurt you”

[dgalerab]

I think I'm picking up what you're putting down :^) Yikes I don't blame you for not elaborating

yeah the end of timeline 2 if they hadn’t interrupted it would have been super depressing. i mean to be fair we already saw the most of it in aefae but five also dies after all that so yeah. it’s not fun

but since we’re in timeline 2.1, it’s all good, he’s fine, he’s going to be fine

i mean he is still in my clutches but