I wrote the Schlaptain Divorce Fic so Alex didn’t have to
@letsfluxshitup
Also Tubbo calls his dads JJ and Captain
December 27, 2006 2:37 PM
“TOBY!?” Captain Sparkles yells, running around the house, searching for his son.
“WHERE THE FUCK IS OUR SON!?” Schlatt turned to his husband, panicking until they heard the giggling of a young boy.
A three-year-old Tubbo sits in a box behind his parents, giggling his mind out
“SPARKLES LOOK! IT’S TOBOX!” Schlatt laughs, pointing at his son
“TUBBOHS!” Tubbo responds, tossing his tiny hands into the air
The Captain laughs a bit at that “It sounds like he’s saying Tubbo!”
“TUBBO! TUBBO!” He cheers
August 17, 2014 6:40 PM
A ten-year-old Tubbo sits with his back pinned to his wall, trying to block out the yelling going on behind his door.
His dads were yelling again, why?
The sound of Sparkles being thrown into his door is heard “I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT, BITCH!”
Sparkles gets to his feet and yells “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!”
“I DON’T EVEN WANT TO FUCKING BE HERE ANYWAYS!”
The door opens and then closes.
Tubbo sits there for a while, and the door opens
“It’s over, Tubbo.” Captain says quietly, as the small child runs into his arms, crying.
“Is JJ coming back?” Tubbo asks
“I’ll call him tomorrow, and we’ll drop off his stuff at where he’ll be living, but he won’t be living with us again.” Sparkles explains it as softly as he can for his son.
October 5th, 2015 3:48 AM
“Just give me another chance, Sparkles!” A drunken Schlatt stands at the door. It’s dark outside and raining like hell in reverse.
“NO! I GAVE YOU A CHANCE THE LAST TEN TIMES! THINK OF THE EFFECT OUR ARGUING COULD HAVE ON TUBBO! OUR FUCKING SON!” Sparkles shouts, he has had enough of Schlatt’s bullshit.
“Can I at least stay the night?” Schlatt asks
“Fine, but you’re staying on the couch.” Sparkles steps aside and lets Schlatt in
“So where is my boy?”
“Asleep. As both of us should be, but you decided to knock at my door at three fucking A.M.”
“Jeez” Schlatt mutters, but says no more as walks into the living room and sits on the couch.
“Goodnight, Schlatt”
“Night Honeybuns!”
“Do. Not.” Sparkles does not attempt to hide the hatred at the nickname he once adored.
Schlatt raises his hands in surrender, and Sparkles goes to his room
7:15 AM
Tubbo walks out of the bathroom with his hair still very wet and walks into the living room
“JJ?” He seems surprised at the fact
“TUBBO! MY BOY!” Schlatt grins, he had barely slept the entire night waiting for Tubbo to wake up
Tubbo runs over and hugs his dad “Are you coming back?”
“I don’t think Sparkles will let me, sorry kid” Schlatt laughs “But I’m here today!”
“YAY!” Tubbo and Schlatt laugh together
Sparkles looks in from the hallway and smiles
“Captain, can I stay home from school today and spend time with JJ?”
“Tubbo, you have to go to school”
“Pleeasse??”
“Cmon, Sparkles, let the kid have a day off to spend with his old man”
“We are both his parents, Schlatt, and if you were any good one you’d know that he has to go to school.”
“I skipped school a lot, and look at how good I’m doing! Besides, just look at him! Can you really say no to that face?” Schlatt gestures to his beaming son.
Sparkles was trying not to look at his son, because he can not say no to that face, but he does, and he caves in “Fine, but only for today!”
Schlatt and Tubbo both cheer, and Tubbo hugs Sparkles “THANK YOU, CAPTAIN!!”
“Yeah, you two have fun, I need to go to work, and Schlatt?”
“Yeah Honeybuns?”
“If anything bad happens to Tubbo, I will have your horns hanging on the wall as a fucking decoration.” Sparkles warns, grabbing Schlatt’s shirt collar threateningly
Schlatt raises his hands in surrender “Got it, the kid’ll be fine”
3:21 PM
Schlatt and Tubbo are driving around to random places, and the radio is playing random songs
“SHE WEARS HIGH HEELS I WEAR SNEAKERS SHE’S CHEER CAPTAIN AND I'M ON THE BLEACHERS!”
Tubbo is screaming the lyrics to the song and generally having a blast as he energetically rocks back and forth in his seat.
Schlatt laughs at his son having the time of his life beside him. “SO WHERE DO YOU WANNA GO NEXT?” Schlatt yells over the music.’
“THE PLACE WITH THE BEES!” There’s a small woods area nearby where bees like to make their hives, Tubbo loves that place, and the bees love Tubbo.
“ALRIGHT!” Schlatt turns off the main road, most roads on the left side of town go to the woods if you drive enough.
4:21 PM
“TUBBO!?” Schlatt runs through the forest, looking for his son
The kid had run off a while back, and Schlatt thought he’d be alright
And now he was missing.
He runs in the direction where Tubbo ran, and ends at a highway.
“NO! NO! DAMNIT!”
He’d never be able to find Tubbo there.
“MY FUCKING SON!”