Things my students said that made me love my job
“My favorite pie is a pizza pie.”
“If boys can marry boys, and girls can marry girls, does that mean dogs can marry dogs? I want my dog to get married and be happy too.”
(after a co-worker reaches in my bag of Cheetos) “Don’t eat those! Her hand has stitches on them. You’ll get stitches in your tongue!
“My Pikachu was having sex last night. Now I have too many Pikachu.”
“Did you know, bloody marys are just alcohol? I thought they were creepy girls.”
(while talking about my leg hair) “My mommy has hair in weird spots too. It’s on her “Suzie” though [gestures to her private regions]
“Is Frosty the Snowman real? Because I went to see him, and he didn’t melt.”
“My mom has a bun in the oven. I hope she doesn’t burn it like cookies.”
(as a child starts crying across the room) “What’s he bitching about now?”
“I feel bad for white. No one uses it.”
“Can it be Friday? It should be Friday.”
And my all time favorite:
“Come take a selfie with me!” [pulls me close and pretends to take multiple pictures] “Damn, we look cute!”
