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alright u little shit u asked for it
dante doesn’t just love strawberry sundaes— he loves all things strawberry! strawberry soda, chocolate covered strawberries, strawberry shortcake, strawberry milkshakes, um, strawberries. he has a ravenous sweet tooth, so anything sweet is fine, but strawberries are his favorite by far.
his swordsmanship is absolutely lousy. he has no form, no balance, no sense of timing, absolutely nothing. he was never actually formally trained— sparda found the idea of teaching his young sons how to kill, even in self defense, to be ghoulish and repulsive— so everything he does, he does by the seat of his pants. were it not for his superhuman strength, he’d be a disaster.
dante’s a menace on the road. he’s sloppy, impatient, and never seems to be paying enough attention. lady refuses… refused to get in the same car as him if he’s behind the wheel. it’s a death wish waiting to happen.
dante has… had a social worker, back home, after his little runaway stint. he had one before that, too, but that one couldn’t give two shits what happened to him and his brother — at least, that’s how dante felt. this one kept him on the right track. if it weren’t for her, he’d probably would have ended up homeless. again. she’s probably wondering what happened to him, right now. the possibilities are… not pleasant,
dante hates coffee and has to dump a mountain of cream and sugar in it to make it edible. he absolutely adores, however, those fruity, sugary, trashy iced ‘lattes’ that are all the rage these days. you know, like a coolotta? this gave vergil a migraine.
dante shuts himself inside his bedroom and takes a long, long, long nap on his birthday, mother’s day, and father’s day. if anyone asks, he’s just not feeling up to it right now, sorry.
dante loves terrible movies — ironically, or unironically, no one can really tell for sure. he has a whole shelf of some of the strangest, trashiest, nastiest movies ever known to man. movie night with him is a blast… or a nightmare.
dante has not been in an actual relationship… ever. not even once. he’s been through more hook ups than he can count— more than he can even remember— but never anything substantial. there’s nothing especially wrong with that, not really, but the way dante did it was — not healthy, to put it lightly. in citta, his brother insisted he slow down and focus on himself, which he finally did, albeit a little reluctantly, after a very, very, very, nasty ‘walk of shame’, one that left him in shambles.
but his brother isn’t here anymore.
no one is.















