A Flower Under The Rain [Part 1]
Characters: Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Kang Gyuri (OC) Genre: Angst, Romance Au: Hanahaki!Au Type: Series Word count: 5,395
It all began with a cough and then, a subtle sting in her chest. Kang Gyuri cried, knowing that in a matter of months, she would be another figure in the death toll of the most dangerous and cruelest outbreak in human history.
Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8-1
People talking, kids crying, people coughing and mothers begging, as distress and hopelessness filled up every heart, and there was nowhere else to go.
She looked around, feeling out of place. Her mother was by her side, stiff as a statue and eyeing everyone around her as if the smallest movement might attract the attention of a dangerous predator. Unknowingly, she caught herself mirroring her mother's actions when a soft vibration startled her. She was soon comforted that it was only her phone buzzing in her pocket and nothing more. Bringing it out, she read the new text, and the usual cheerfulness of her best friend, Baekhyun, welcomed her.
Get completely checked up and punch that nasty cough right in the face!
She didn't have a chance to write a response when another text came in.
Don't you dare stand me up today. We have a lot to catch up!
And I have a surprise for you ;)
That managed to bring a smile out of her because there was no need to catch up as he claimed. As hectic as their normal life was, Baekhyun forced her to meet at least once a week. He would pester her for days if they didn't.
She texted back, assuring him that she would be there as soon as she was done with her appointment. The thought brought her back to the real world, where everyone was patiently, or not so patiently, waiting for their turn to see a doctor.
Making the mistake of looking around the waiting area, the uneasiness took over her again and reminded her of all of the excuses she had to skip a doctor’s appointment. First of all, the unnerving crowd alone was scary enough to stay away from a hospital but this time, as much as she tried, there was no other choice.
The other reason was more complicated and delicate than just being uncomfortable in crowds because going to a hospital meant speaking with strangers and she avoided approaching people she didn’t know. She even struggled to talk to her family doctor that pretty much watched her grow. Maybe he wasn't even the right person to take her case but he knew her and she knew him. If someone knew about her particular discomfort and understood how to handle it, it was him.
However, her fear and condition couldn't outweigh the seriousness of her current state and the main reason why she was in the hospital in the first place. She'd been having an ongoing cough for several months and after using almost every remedy available, her parents finally managed to convince her to get a specialized check-up. The doctor ordered blood samples and a few days later, there she was, seated in the waiting room of the general hospital.
In an ideal scenario, she would’ve been doing this by herself as the responsible and capable adult she was but her anxiousness didn’t allow it. Her mother was there and even if she didn't need to guide their way throughout the sterile and monotone hallways of the hospital for something as simple as a doctor’s appointment, it was incredibly comforting to have her around.
“Kang Gyuri.” A nurse called out loud and her mother stood up like a sprint.
“That’s us.” She mumbled with sudden haste that couldn’t be anything else but desire to leave the place as soon as possible.
Gyuri followed her mother silently and the nurse proceeded to make the general checkup. She didn’t mind that part of the appointment. No speaking was required for that and she followed the nurse’s instructions carefully until she was seated at the doctor’s desk in a heavy silence and with her mother just as silent by her side.
The old man came in not long after and he greeted them with the same familiarity as he always did but Gyuri noticed the hesitation. She caught the few seconds of vacillation and effort it took him to raise his eyes and look at her. Quite discreetly, he managed to avert looking straight into her.
“So Gyuri, now tell me how have you been feeling since your visit last week?” He asked, grabbing the expensive black and gold stricken pen her parents gave him as a present not that long ago and ready to write down whatever she was about to say. “Did the antibiotics and painkillers work?”
“I don’t know.”
“How come?”
And that was what she hated the most out of the doctor’s appointment, the explaining. Gyuri found it almost painful to put her discomfort into words, to say them out loud and on top of that, to make absolute sense of the mess within her. She wasn’t even entirely sure if anyone was capable of covering all the complexities of what was happening inside her body.
She started with the fact that she had been feeling almost the same except for the sharp chest pains weren't as bad as before and noticed as she said that, that Dr. Kim held the pen softly between the fingers of both of his hands and wondered why he wasn't scribbling down. That was odd. That wasn’t part of the process of a medical appointment.
Gyuri continued nonetheless by explaining the difficulty she had to breathe every once in a while and when she mentioned that a new symptom had shown up, it was when she couldn’t ignore the doctor’s expression. He looked conflicted and somehow, distressed.
“What’s the new symptom?” He asked although he looked like he didn’t want to know.
“It feels like my senses are sharper, somehow.” She wondered out loud and not entirely sure if she was making any sense, “now I have a sweet tooth for food.”
With a nod, the doctor finally wrote something down but it was short. For a second, Gyuri thought she saw the word unsuccessful written down in her chart but the doctor brought another sheet out, this one with what she guessed was her blood results.
“I don't know how to say this,” he started, placing the pen reluctantly over his desk as if he was letting go some sort of lifeline. “We found some anomalies in your blood levels, Gyuri.”
“What kind of anomalies?” Her mother asked in a surprisingly steady tone.
“There are traces of chlorophyll in your bloodstream when you shouldn't have any and I'm so sorry to be the one to say this so bluntly...” The old man managed to say before his voice broke, “but you have the Hanahaki disease.”
The small consultation room was suddenly quiet just like everything else inside Gyuri. Her mind was completely blank in a split second when her mother’s seemed to be overrun by a sudden sense of guilt.
“This is my fault.” She said with a shaky voice.
“Don’t say that.” Dr. Kim added.
“This is all my fault.” Her mother said, now sobbing.
“That’s not how it works.” Dr. Kim affirmed and then looked at Gyuri.
“But no petals…” She muttered, her brain trying to come to life and make some sense of what was happening.
“The flower petals are only in the last stages of the disease.” The doctor explained. “You haven't shown any signs that the roots are that deep into your system yet.”
“What are my options?”
“Not many, you know that.” The doctor said with some difficulty, “As a doctor, I’d suggest getting you admitted, run some more tests and make you feel as comfortable as possible whereas as a family friend, I’d say, go home and live to the utmost while you can.”
“How long?” Gyuri asked, knowing she didn’t have to elaborate for the doctor to understand what she meant.
“If nothing abrupt happens, my guess is,” he paused, his brows furrowing, “6 months, at most.”
Gyuri nodded, aware of everything and nothing at the same time. Just as the doctor said, she knew her life was done for and suddenly flooded by a horrible feeling of devastation, the rest of the appointment went by as a blur.
She managed to get herself together when she was walking through the hospital’s parking lot. So far, she was moving by sheer instinct and being her mother’s quiet sobbing by her side, the only thing ringing loudly on her head.
“Mom, I'll be fine,” she said with a firm tone that took her by surprise.
Even though Gyuri didn't quite believe it herself, she had to make her mother stop crying for a moment and get her thoughts in order but her efforts of assurance only made her wail harder.
“Who is he?” She demanded, holding her by the shoulders. “Tell me who it is!”
Suddenly, Gyuri felt her body again. She felt the soft and ever-present buzzing in the center of her chest and the pain of her mother’s fingertips dipping into her flesh in absolute distress to find the truth and a culprit. Seeing her mother that desperate was unnerving.
“Who's the bastard that's breaking your heart!?” Her mother begged.
Gyuri smiled.
Mother Nature seemed to have some wicked sense of humor. As twisted and creepy as it was to smile at that moment and to her mother’s absolute distress, she shook her up more but Gyuri couldn’t feel anything else but a sudden wave of relief coming over her. It wasn’t hard to conclude who it was. There wasn't anyone else that she could be that attached to to the point of getting heartbroken. She wanted to laugh at the prospect of her being that blind to not see this outcome.
“Baekhyun, mom,” she said, almost fondly, “Who else but Baekhyun?”
And his name was a trigger.
Gyuri winced as soon as she said his name and the relief she felt just an instant before was replaced by a sudden pain that coursed through the deepest parts of her system as if the acknowledgment of the genuine cause of her disease could set off something inside her body.
Her mother paled at the confession and Gyuri saw the anger taking over her expression. Now she knew who was responsible and it didn’t matter how many times she claimed in the past that she loved him like a son, from that moment on, Baekhyun was an enemy she needed to get rid of.
“Don't tell him anything about this,” Gyuri added before her mother could fall into hysterics. “It’s not his fault.”
“Not his fault?” Her mother scoffed, “He took advantage of your friendship...”
“And I want to be alone.” Gyuri interrupted, starting to feel lightheaded. “I’ll see you later.”
Her mother protested. Her body battled back as well, but she forced herself to walk to the bus stop, and with every step, Gyuri did her best to remember every breathing and grounding exercise she could. Eventually, she was almost running because if she didn’t leave that hospital as soon as possible, none of the exercises would help and she would end up collapsing right then and there.
As she waited in the line and memories flowed by her mind, Gyuri placed a hand over her chest expecting to feel her rapidly beating heart but now, she was particularly aware of the faint stinging that went from one side of her chest to the other like an anxious caged animal waiting to be released.
Never in her wildest dreams, she’d find herself brave enough to ride public transportation alone and almost a decade later, there she was, ready to take the bus as if it was nothing and it was all thanks to Baekhyun.
"Ay, you’re not a little girl anymore.” He nagged as they waited. “How have you been commuting to school all this time?"
"My parents drive me there.” She replied softly, looking around suddenly intimidated by what they were about to do.
"What about the dates?” He turned to her, looking genuinely concerned. “Your parents dropping you off makes it a child’s play date..."
“I don’t have them,” Gyuri mumbled back, annoyed at the unnecessary roast, “you know that.”
“You don’t have them because you don’t want to,” Baekhyun said as he pulled his wallet out, “You’re quite pretty.”
Gyuri found herself smiling as she remembered that day. She felt her heart fluttering all over again at the memory of how flustered she was when he said that and while she was getting on the bus, she felt the ghost of his steady hand holding hers as reassurance.
That simple memory was only the first of the many moments she treasured about her friendship with Baekhyun. Gyuri scurried her way into the back of the bus, finding a spot standing near the door. After a while, the bus came to an abrupt halt, making all the standing passengers stumble; one of them, a guy her age, dramatically fell into a girl on the nearest seat. The guy stood up as fast as he could, apologized to the girl, and nothing much happened after that, but her mind brought up a moment from way back then.
Gyuri had been the girl in the seat many times before. Many times shoved and pushed around and was unable to speak up when she was uncomfortable. She recalled one particular day when the bus was full and getting jostle was unavoidable, even if she was on her seat. Whenever it happened, she would simply focus on the city passing by through the window and ignore the rest of the world around her. That day, however, a familiar voice broke her out of the stupor.
“Yah! You’re hitting her in the face with your backpack!” Baekhyun said out loud, shoving a guy away and taking his place right next to her seat, somehow guarding her.
Gyuri chuckled at the memory. She must have looked like an idiot, looking up at him from her seat, probably admiring him as if he was a knight in shining armor.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Baekhyun mumbled under his breath without even looking at her, clearly upset.
It was easy for him to say that but she was already riding the bus, confined in a small place with dozens of unknown people and fighting the urge to get out of there at the earliest opportunity. Raising her voice wasn’t necessary when she was already doing something miles away from her comfort zone. She was doing enough.
“People will stop pushing you around the moment you speak up, Gyuri,” Her friend added.
However, Kang Gyuri didn’t fall for his nagging and not even his outgoing and sometimes annoying personality. She fell for his comfort; for the little gestures, the softness in his voice whenever he addressed her, and the tenderness in which he touched her.
“I’m sorry.” He said, softly dropping an arm around her shoulders as they walked through the university entrance. “I said that harshly for no reason.”
Gyuri recalled what those words made her feel. She remembered how thrilling it was to feel his soft squeeze on her shoulder or the bright smile he gave her before dashing away to his friends. She finally acknowledged the unquestionable pang of sadness that was about to burst and barely paying any attention to her surroundings, Gyuri was surprised by her hastiness and found herself getting off the bus, gasping for fresh air.
As she tried to walk away from the memories, her hand trembled as it went around the rim of her watch, making it difficult for her to follow the pace and control her breathing. She was fully aware that she had to stop walking for the exercise to be effective, but she needed to run away. She couldn’t even keep track of how many times her finger went around the clock and was on the brink of losing it for good that she forced herself to stop to focus all of her attention on her wristwatch.
It hurt her chest to place her finger on the 12 and slowly go around the rest of the numbers. She was finding it too hard to settle her heavy breathing but the moment Gyuri noticed the familiar building of her favorite bookshop across the street, it was only then that she finally could grasp her bearings and hold her ground against the panic.
With her eyes glued to the building, she managed to properly finish the first circle of digits after god knows how long and then the second and the third and so on until she calmed down.
She looked around, surprised that she was conveniently just a few blocks away from her meeting point with Baekhyun, and prompted with an impulse she didn't know where it was coming from, Gyuri walked to the bookshop.
The three-floored bookshop was one of the only public places she visited frequently, and that never failed to make her feel like one with society. She was another common and ordinary person whenever she was in there, but for the first time, not that day and probably, not ever again.
The moment Gyuri crossed the entrance door and stepped into the maze of bookshelves, she felt lonelier and more alienated than ever before. Suddenly, that place not only brought a wave of countless memories she shared with Baekhyun. It also shoved into her face, like a sarcastic joke, the crude reality of her fate.
It had been over eight years since the breakout. Eight years since the first person dropped dead in a pile of flower petals in the middle of the street, somewhere in Europe, and the first victim biography was still a bestseller. Eight years into it, and the sickness was still somehow a trending topic.
The news about the strange and tragic event spread out like fire around the globe, plaguing every television and every social media feed, and just a couple of days later, similar cases happened in other parts of the world. A couple of months and thousands of deaths later, it was discovered that a disease was the cause of all those casualties.
A morbid fascination about it reached its peak when unreciprocated love was the only source of infection. If hundreds of thousands died of heartbreak, thousands more did out of the burden of being the cause; and in a matter of weeks, the suicide rates spiked, and soon after, the entire world fell into subdued chaos.
When most people were still debating if it was right to label the phenomenon that affected the entire world as an actual disease, the Japanese, who had the highest death toll, were the first ones that dared the rest of the world to address the problem head-on and gave it a name. That was how the Hanahaki disease was what everyone everywhere in the world ever talked about, and apparently, it had been like that for almost a decade.
Gyuri let out a resigned sigh as she walked away from the Hanahaki section, trying to find some comfort among the pages of a normal book but to no avail, she always found herself back to that section. Her mind reeled with all the information she had been fed up with the disease for years. She didn’t need to read more about it. She had lost count of the pile of books she read and the essays she wrote about it during her student years, and yet, the most haunting fun fact about the subject was that once diagnosed with Hanahaki, you were as good as dead.
The curse was essentially a death sentence, and it was scary to realize that all she could think of, no matter how hard she tried, was that after eight years since the outbreak, it was a disease without a cure, and so far, no one had ever survived.
Except, for that one American woman. Gyuri grabbed her biography and wondered, just like the rest of the world, how in the world she survived. It was still a mystery, and as some claimed it was all a scam, some others believed she was some sort of prophet. As divided as the public opinion was about her, it gained her fame beyond any measure. The woman that somehow found a way to fight back the disease and win the battle against the impeccable flowers, became a celebrity overnight. Ironically, she was murdered in her penthouse a couple of years later because of a nasty affair.
Maybe that woman's life wasn't the best example of success, let alone the source of hope she needed, so Gyuri placed the book back in its place and found herself lost and clueless. For the first time in her life, she had no idea of what she wanted to read. Overwhelmed by the countless titles, a part of her wanted to buy them all so she could find an answer to her suffering. She sought for a small glint of hope that she might have the guts to fight the disease back, but the longer she kept on looking at the shelves of hundreds of books, all with the promises to save her life, the more miserable she felt.
There was one book, though. A book that didn’t mock her. A title that, for some reason, reflected quite perfectly what was going on inside her. As if pulled by an invisible string, Gyuri reached for the book.
“The Loneliest Flower.”
Just as in that known case, there were also urban legends of survivors but none as popular as the rumors about D.O. Even the gender was a mystery to the world, but the most common belief was that the writer was a male and his novel became a worldwide success in a matter of days. Gyuri remembered reading his book in class, and for some weird reason, she always felt a weird predilection over it. Decided and somehow defeated, she braced the book close to her chest and walked to the checkout.
Opening the door of that place was always a dreadful task. Most of the time, Baekhyun was by her side, and the first one to go in but some days, she had to do it herself. Gyuri breathed in, braced herself, and nudged the door open. Suddenly, as soon as she stepped into Baekhyun’s favorite restaurant, every scary thought seemed abruptly amplified by the thousands.
The sounds of countless chirping voices, loud waves of laughter, clattering cutlery, the smell of meats grilling, and fresh loaves of bread coming out of the ovens blasted against her senses and, invaded every single one of her thoughts.
Gyuri hated the place.
Baekhyun was always looking for new and trendy places to eat around the city, and while Gyuri found that particular restaurant too crowded for her liking, it turned out to be his favorite. The only reason she kept going there was their -four dishes and three beverages- long menu. The employees were also kind enough to respect her shyness. They even took the trouble to memorize her order and were always willing to help her speak the least possible.
She couldn't understand why Baekhyun liked it so much. The long shared tables were one of the details she hated more than anything. The layout forced her to ask if any empty chair was taken or sit shoulder to shoulder with a total stranger. Baekhyun seemed to be delighted by the prospect of being surrounded by people and quoting him, getting the chance to meet cute girls.
Checking her watch, Gyuri realized she was late just by a couple of minutes. When she looked around, Baekhyun was nowhere to be found. He was late as well, which only made the place buzz louder with voices and people moving. He not only was the cause of the ever aching scorch deep inside her chest but also left her all by herself in a place full of people.
She couldn't do stuff like that normally. People scared her. People were weird and loud, and she always struggled to cope well with socializing. That was why he was her friend; Baekhyun was her voice. He did all the talking. Not her. Never her; especially in places as busy as this, never her.
Gyuri bobbed her head to the beautiful girl with blonde bangs that always greeted her with a friendly smile and instantly headed towards the back of the place. The tables there were secluded and empty most of the time, and that day was no exception. Except for one guy and a bunch of college guys, giggling at the screen of one of their cellphones; there were enough spaces available for her and Baekhyun to eat comfortably.
Ignoring the annoying and noisy group, she observed the lonely guy. He was focused on the food on his plate, not paying attention to the fuss on the other side of the table. His fingers gripped tightly at the ciabatta sandwich in his hands as his jaw moved rhythmically in every bite. The chairs around him were empty, and as absorbed as he seemed to be with his sandwich, she wasn't going to sit in front of him under any circumstances. That could only incite him to start a small talk she wasn’t willing to follow.
Not giving too much further thought to him, she made a beeline to the chosen empty chair but halted when the guy looked up and his eyes, his big brown eyes, found hers. Seemingly uninterested, he went back to his sandwich, and Gyuri approached the table only to find the guy, looking at her again; this time, he seemed to be observing her just as thoroughly.
He bobbed his head at her, followed by a tiny twitch of his lips that Gyuri took as a weak attempt of a smile. He went back to his food without paying more attention to her, which was more than alright with her.
Silently, she sat down and waited for Baekhyun like she had been doing for years now. However, something was different. Now that she knew what that ache was, she could feel it everywhere. It was creeping swiftly in the most hidden parts of her body, taking over everything she was and painfully suffocating her ever so slowly.
She didn't want to believe that Baekhyun could be the cause of her pain. If anything, he would do anything to assure her safety. It had always been like that since they met on their first day in high school. Her heart fluttered, remembering every time he smiled at her, whenever he held her hand steadily and protected her from anything that scared her.
Without any control, she found herself smiling at the memory of the many songs he sang to her just because he loved to sing. It was precisely the sound of his voice that moved the ground beneath her. His voice was so smooth and sweet that she could almost taste it in the back of her throat. Baekhyun's voice had such a strong timbre, and yet, it was so mellow and sweet; that it shifted her surroundings, distorted every sound, and made her insides churn and twist.
“Eat this.”
Gyuri snapped her eyes open. Taken aback to find herself breathing hard, she realized she was almost wheezing and leaning over the table as she gripped the edges so hard her hands hurt. The noisy group of guys next to her was silent, stealing nervous and pitiful glances at her. She sat up straight, beyond mortified, but the tenderness of the voice that spoke to her first attracted her attention once more.
“Here.” Gyuri heard that voice and looked up to a hand that pushed an opened small tin can closer to her.
The can was filled with squared and colorful candies. Confused, Gyuri looked at the owner of that hand, and she stared back dumbfounded. The man that not long ago was eating a ciabatta sandwich, was now looking at her with his big and dark eyes. At first, his stare seemed to be harsh, but the longer she kept on holding his gaze, the softer and understanding his expression turned, until the back of her eyes stung.
“It’s overwhelmingly sweet, right?” He whispered, and the way his heart-shaped and plump lips moved was pleasant to the eyes. “Right on the back of your tongue that you can actually taste it.”
Gyuri gulped instinctively, and just as he described it, a thick layer of something sweet coated the back of her throat. Unable to hide her shock at his guess, she found herself nodding and blinking rapidly to hold her tears back. It was comforting that the stranger did not seem to care about her falling into hysterics. He calmly nudged the can closer.
“You need sugar.” He added just as softly, “Eat them, and you will feel better.”
Gyuri moved as quickly as possible and took one candy straight into her mouth. She had never liked licorice candies before but now, as she closed her eyes and focused herself on controlling her breathing, she found the taste agreeable, almost soothing even. She could sense his attention on her, and when she dared to look at him, his thick brows were slowly easing up as she calmed down.
“Better now?”
She nodded. With that, the man gave her a small smile and turned his attention back to his sandwich. She kept staring at him, quizzical and wondering how he knew exactly what she needed.
“I know the feeling.” He said under his breath but without taking his eyes off the sandwich. “Something is growing inside you, eating you up, and drying every drop of life out of you and infesting everything in its curse.”
The burn behind her eyes intensified, getting almost unbearable when she realized how truly lonely she was. The certainty in his voice and the understanding in his every word made her see it more clearly. No one near her, not her parents or even the doctor, could ever fathom the feeling as he just did. They would never have a clue of how it felt like; yet, a lone stranger described the sensation with a few words.
But it wasn’t just his words that resonated within her. It was something in his voice; something that was just as soothing as the candies she kept rolling around her mouth. This stranger's voice had something different from all the voices around her.
Her parents were her parents; their voices made her feel at home. Their voices meant safety and comfort. Baekhyun’s voice was a whole different thing by itself. His voice was like thunder that resounded over everything disturbing and scary around her but this man's voice was special, and it was weirdly reassuring that she could find it so instantly necessary and precious even if she couldn't tell why.
The man stood up, and Gyuri closed the tin can, pushing it back towards him, grateful for the little piece of lifesaving help. He waved a hand with a timid smile that lighted up his face in a pleasant way, and she wondered just how much more handsome that stranger would look like fully smiling.
“Keep the candies.” He said, “you will need them.”
Gyuri tried to smile, touched by his generosity, and he stared at her longer than necessary before giving her another smile that didn't reach his eyes, and he was gone after that.
Slightly dazed and dumbfounded, Gyuri stayed in her seat, playing with the tin can in her hands, but there were no signs of Baekhyun. Not a single text and not even a call, and the uneasiness started to kick off again as she looked around the restaurant. She was alone in a noisy place, alone with her thoughts. She found herself alone with the ache and the longing, the confusion, fear, and the hopelessness. It almost felt like he purposely left her there to suffer.
After what felt like an eternity later, and as if her entire body knew of his proximity, she looked at the restaurant's door. At that exact moment, she saw the man that stole her heart coming in, and she wasn't aware until then just how much relief his presence could bring. The sight alone of his beautiful face, of his white smile and sparkling eyes, should have been enough to ease the pain momentarily, but it didn’t. At least not entirely.
Baekhyun was there, but he wasn't alone.