When you spend three whole days boozing, eating, and boozing some more with 2000 over-served gourmands, you see and hear a lot…A LOT. I mean, what’s more fun than watching people who’ve paid an exorbitant amount of money wade through the culinary quagmire in the tents at Atlanta Food and Wine as they try to balance themselves holding several mini-tails in one hand while sucking down oysters swimming in potlikker in the other? Nothing, that’s what! It’s truly the most expensive and amazing people-watching ever!
So, in the spirit of all the ridiculousness (the good, the bad, and the WTF kind) the festival brings to this gateway Southern city, I give you:
20 Things Overheard at ATLANTA FOOD AND WINE 2015:
‘Opening Toast’ in the Loews Hotel lobby: Girl 1: “Do you think anyone will notice if I stand on this table to see?” Girl 2: “Who cares…champagne!”
Fact according to Andy Nelson of Belle Meade Bourbon...“There are more bourbon barrels than people in the state of Kentucky.”
The always eloquent Greg Best ... “This is a learning experience - but really, we’re just here to get fucked up.”
It’s all downhill from here...“When I switch from hard cider to bourbon, and I’m not being supervised…all is lost.”
Cocktail wisdom from David Wondrich... “Don’t invite the wrong people to your cocktail party. This isn’t your wedding!”
Heidi Trull of Grits and Groceries embracing her Truth: “I’m nearing 50. I have a husband, a job I love, and a successful restaurant, so it’s ok to let myself go!”
One very unhappy man... “This un-aged whiskey tastes like gasoline and ass.”
Exclaimed or proclaimed... “I can’t do oysters in potlikker in this sweaty tent! I might die!” Ok then, ma’am.
Upon the breaking of festival glasses on concrete... “Opa!” (on repeat)
Tent pimpin... “You get the VIP cup!”
Strategery... “Y’all! I have a no-fail tent strategy, follow me! Forward, ho!”
The damn truth... “If you don’t have a roadie from your cocktail class, you’re doing festival life wrong.”
Tent probs... Person 1: “Are you going to eat that?” Person 2: Yes!” <slaps hand>
Southern (festival) reality... “I might have peeled my clothes off last night after the tents.”
Always check with your wife... “Do I like crudo, honey?”
Le duh... “The caviar makes this a fancy Croque Monsieur. Wait. Is that an oxymoron in France?”
Spiked heels+mud = “I’m sinking! Woman down! Save my wine!”
The ‘fun house’ tent... “Is Mississippi on a slope or am I that drunk already?”
Obviously...or not... “There is a distinct difference between resting bitch face and crowded food tent face.”
In closing, David Wondrich would like you to always remember... “Cocktail means chaos, so plan your parties wisely.”
Cheers, and thanks, AFWF, for one hell of a shindig!
Atlanta Food and Wine Festival 2016 - Midtown Atlanta - June 2-5, 2016
