Distant sirens and bursts of laughter from the neighbors smoking on the fire escape drifted in with the cool evening breeze as he cracked open the window.
One last time, he thought for about the millionth time that day as he sat on the bed and looked around the almost empty room.
Everything in the past week had been the last. The last trip to the corner Italian deli for his favorite sandwich. The last Dodgers game. The last walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.
And today - the last day of work.
They’d given him a cake and taken him out for drinks, though he’d said his goodbyes after only one round with excuses of having to finish packing.
Everyone had been generous with their well wishes, but he’d left the celebration feeling only melancholy. Though he was excited about his new position and move to a sunny climate, he couldn’t escape the feeling of regret gnawing at his insides.
Perhaps he could’ve done more. But then again perhaps he had only imagined her feelings to be more than they were.
Peggy had been unusually quiet all day. Though she’d made a point to offer her congratulations, she’d stood mostly in the back of the bar the whole evening.
He’d wanted to speak with her privately, but wasn’t able to find the opportunity with everyone vying for his attention.
Even if he had gotten the chance, what would he have said? His decision had already been made. The job was waiting for him in L.A. The plane ticket purchased. There was no turning back now. Nothing to say except goodbye.
Between busy cases and the sudden job offer, he and Peggy had never found the opportunity to get that promised drink together - and now that time was up.
They just weren’t meant to be and he had to live with that. Time to move on.
He exhaled sharply and lay back against the pillow listening to the noise of the city that never quit but was always oddly comforting.
Sometime later the doorbell rang and jolted him out of his reverie. He checked his watch. 9:30. Too early for bed, but late for visitors.
Grabbing the shirt that he’d peeled off earlier, he quickly pulled it back on and fumbled with the buttons while stumbling to the door.
Expecting to find the landlord or one of the neighbors that hadn’t yet said farewell, he couldn’t have been more surprised by the sight that greeted him.
“Peggy.”
She gave a sheepish smile and held up a small paper bag. “I hope I’m not intruding...”
His mind went blank before realizing that he was staring stupidly at her. “No. Not at all. Come in. Sorry for the mess. I’m almost packed up.”
Peggy entered and upon doing so withdrew a whiskey bottle from the bag.
“I didn’t want you to leave before we had a drink together - I didn’t forget you know.”
His heart sunk as he smiled back at her. He led them to the kitchen and retrieved two glasses from one of the boxes on the counter.
She poured them each a glass and they sat with their knees nearly grazing at the small kitchen table .
“I’m sorry about today. I wanted to pull you aside but to be honest I didn’t really know quite know what to say.” She sipped her drink and swallowed while staring into the glass. “The truth of it is, Daniel, that while I’m happy for you, I’m not looking forward to the SSR without you.” She paused and a thought caused her lips to curve into a tight smile. “Especially with Jack taking control.”
Daniel chuckled and nodded with complete understanding. “Want me to check and see if there’s any seats left on that flight to Los Angeles?”
Peggy snorted into her glass, but her face quickly regained its seriousness. Whatever caused the sudden change, she kept to herself. She sighed softly and ran a red nail along the grain of wood in the table.
With the alcohol now coursing through his system and making him feel more bold, he reached a hand across the table and rested it on top of hers. She flinched slightly at the contact, but did not move her hand away.
“This doesn’t have to be the end, Peggy. We can always keep in touch. You never know what may happen.”
She studied him, a touch of sadness in the warm brown eyes. “Of course.” But the hesitation in her voice quickly snuffed out any hope he still held.
Reluctantly, he removed his hand and they sat in silence as they refilled their glasses.
Once they’d finished their third, Peggy glanced at the clock and exclaimed at the lateness of the hour. “I should probably go.”
Daniel walked her to the front door after failing to think of an excuse to get her to stay. Doing so would require him to open his heart fully and Peggy had not given him a signal that she was ready for that. It seemed that she too had accepted this ending as final.
He walked with her out of the building and helped hail a cab. When one pulled to the curb, they stood in front of the open door, both trying and failing to think of the right thing to say.
The last moment with Peggy. He hadn’t quite prepared himself for this one.
“Good luck, Daniel. I mean it. You deserve nothing but the best. I’ll be rooting for you here in New York.”
No promises to call, no open ended invitations. It felt too final and he wasn’t ready for it.
“Peggy...this time we’ve shared will always mean a lot to me. You will always mean a lot to me.” If this were like the movies, it would have been the moment he would’ve confessed his love and kissed her with promises to never leave her side. But it wasn’t and all he could do was help her into the waiting cab and give one last wave as the car took off down the street.
If it wasn’t an ending to a relationship, then why did it feel so much like one.
This is based on a prompt @caitscat sent me waaay back after episode five aired imagining that scene in the living room with a baby instead. Everyone’s been giving me domestic Peggysous feelings lately so I felt inspired at last.
“So has New York been in touch?...Yeah, I’m pretty sure...No, I haven’t yet...Would you? That would be great, Rose. I know Peggy’s been itching to hear....”
As her husband spoke on the phone - barely audible as he kept his voice to a near-whisper - Peggy leaned her head against the couch cushion and studied him from across the room. Though his face was turned away as he looked out the large picture window onto the front yard, she could still read every subtle tic in his movements and almost deduce what Rose was saying on the other end. She loved watching him in chief mode with his calm and cool demeanor.
After having been home from the hospital for two days now, she finally had to urge him to call the office for news. Other than their co-workers calling to offer congratulations, they’d had no real contact with anyone at the SSR.
Peggy raised an eyebrow at the mention of her name. Daniel, guessing her reaction, turned around to catch her eye and winked before continuing.
“He would say that, wouldn’t he? Well what else can you expect from Thompson...Yes, everything’s fine here. It’s still a bit strange being three instead of two, but I think we’re gradually figuring everything out...Oh yeah, she’s very vocal. We’re starting to sense that she can tell just when we’re about to fall asleep before deciding to make her presence known...” He broke off with a muffled laugh.
Joanna shifted in Peggy’s arms softly gurgling in her sleep as if to make her point known. Peggy pressed a gentle kiss to her soft, sweet-smelling forehead and adjusted the blanket that Ana had lovingly knit to fit snugly over her small body.
“...No, our freezer is stuffed full of casseroles from the Jarvises. We probably have enough to last us through the end of the year - actually maybe the next two. Apparently Jarvis went into a cooking frenzy as soon as he found out Peggy was in labor and didn’t stop for two days - you know how he is when things are stressful...Okay. Yes I will...Thanks again, Rose. You’ve been a lifesaver as always...See you soon...Bye.”
“Everything fine?” Peggy asked as he replaced the receiver and slowly shuffled his way over to her. She’d discovered since they were married that Daniel liked to forgo his crutch at home as much as possible to give himself a bit more freedom. Chairs and tables were strategically placed throughout the house so that he could balance himself as needed.
“Well,” he replied with a huff as he collapsed next to her on the couch and pulled her bare feet into his lap, “It seems that Jack is once again stirring things up in New York. He wants to get a team together to try hunt down Dottie and was just calling our office to see who might be available. But besides that everything else seems to be functioning normally, at least no major calamities for the time being.”
“They think she’s still in Mexico?”
Daniel started rubbing the sensitive part of her arches forcing her to fight back a moan as her system instantly flooded with relief. “It appears that they’ve now tracked her down to Belize and are looking to catch her before she can get on a boat and disappear again.”
“Hmm.” Her mind wanted to run through all the possible scenarios but fatigue kept her from putting herself in the mind of her arch-nemesis. “You have to hand it to Dottie - she knows how to get around.”
“Rose is stopping by later with some paperwork. She also said that something official-looking from D.C. came for you today. Wonder if it’s about those plans you’ve been working on with Howard?”
Peggy nodded. “I bet so...We’ve been expecting it for weeks now.” She started to drift off mid-sentence as her eyelids suddenly decided to turn leaden.
Stifling a yawn, she looked down at Joanna’s sleeping form who still remained the epitome of angelic. “I think I might have to have you read it to me though. I don’t know if I even have the energy to look at their letter right now, much less make any sense out of it.”
Daniel scooted in closer and ran his thumb gently across one of Joanna’s tiny hands. “God, she’s perfect, Peg. And she’s ours. How is it even possible?”
Peggy looked at him dreamily. All the extra hormones had made her ache for Daniel’s touch even more than usual. When they weren’t busy tending to Joanna, she was snuggled up next to Daniel in some sort of half-awakened state. He’d been so attentive to her throughout her pregnancy - making extra trips to the store for her unusual food cravings, reading to her in bed every night to help her fall asleep, massaging her aching back and feet.
“With such a father how could she anything but perfect?”
Daniel lowered his head and kissed a line down Peggy’s arm. “Her mother isn’t too shabby either. I think though that it’s time she got some shut eye,” he said addressing Joanna directly. With steady, gentle hands, he took the baby from Peggy’s arms and carefully stood from the couch so that she didn’t wake. “Jo and I will go sit in the nursery for awhile while you get some rest. I’ll let you know when Rose gets here.”
“I suppose...”
Before he’d even left the room, Peggy was already fast asleep.
The rather blunt question earned her a double-take from Daniel who’d been occupied with trying to make sense out of a stack of Howard’s scribbled notes.
“What?”
“Dance. You?”
“Uh, I suppose I did - I mean before...you know,” he said with a glance downward. “Why?”
She considered for a moment revealing the fact that she’d just remembered once having dreamed up a whole musical number involving the both of them, but quickly decided against it.
“No reason,” she said with a shrug.
Feeling a sense of restlessness, she walked over to the jukebox that Howard kept in the lab and flipped through several records until she landed on a slow, dreamy - almost waltz-like - tune.
“Come here,” she said holding out her arms while swaying with the melody.
Daniel blinked.
“Come dance with me.”
“Peg, I - I can’t...”
“Nonsense.” She walked over to him, grabbed hold of his arm, and led him back to the center of the room leaving his crutch propped against the table. “Just rest your arm around my shoulder.”
He looked at her curiously but obeyed. She wrapped her arm around his waist so that they were both defying custom, and began leading them around the room in a gentle circular motion. After a few initial stumbles, they managed to find a sense of rhythm and the longer they danced the more relaxed Daniel became. At the end of the song, he even attempted to dip her with partial success.
They may have been out-of-sync with the music and stumbled inelegantly through the steps, but neither Peggy nor Daniel cared. Their smiles and flushed cheeks were proof enough that the enjoyment of it was worth more than anything.
As the next song began playing, Daniel returned his arm back to its position around her shoulder.
That was not the first time Daniel appeared in Peggy’s dreams...
Also on AO3.
The nightmares begin soon after the plane crash. At first her mind just replays his final words to her over and over. But in the months that follow, when her insomnia allows, she dreams of Steve. The sight of him is so comforting in the beginning. He smiles at her so warmly and looks at peace despite everything that’s happened. She wants to grab him and hold him tight, but he’s always just out of reach.
Let go, Peggy, he says softly. You must.
His face starts to fade away and she tries to scream at him but it’s no use. He can’t hear her because her voice has been silenced. She becomes angry at him, devastated that he would leave her like this. It’s exhausting trying to hold on, but she can’t stop. She can’t let go.
The dream returns often, though not every night and in different forms. Sometimes they’re back in the war, other times he’s waiting for her at the office, but his message is always the same.
Let go, Peggy.
A couple of months after her return to the SSR offices there is a new addition to her dream. A kind-eyed, dark-haired presence surprises her one night. It’s Daniel Sousa, one of her fellow agents. He doesn’t say anything, only sits next to her as she cries when Steve fades away, but it’s comforting enough. When she wakes, she feels more rested than she has in ages.
She feels funny heading into work the next day and seeing him sitting at his desk, unaware of having been in her head. She avoids him at first, but then feels so ridiculous that she asks if he wants to work together over lunch. He does an impression of Thompson as they walk to the diner that sends her into a fit of laughter. People passing on the sidewalk turn to stare, but she barely notices. She laughs until her cheeks hurt.
The nightmares start to become less frequent before stopping altogether. She doesn’t see Steve anymore except on a few rare occasions when she’s feeling extra lonely. But when he does appear now, she doesn’t wake up in a panic. She’s finally accepted what has happened and takes his advice. She’s ready to move on with her life.
A couple of nights after Daniel moves to Los Angeles, he calls her to say that he is settled and doing well. He’s enjoying the new job and the house that the SSR has found him suits him well. But despite the glowing review, his voice is strangely unemotional. She senses that he’s holding something back. She tries to work it out of him, but he complains of fatigue and gives a farewell that sounds all too final.
She tries calling again the next day and the next, but the calls go unanswered. A sinking feeling settles in the pit of her stomach.
In the nights that follow, her dreams all end the same - with Daniel getting on a plane and not turning around when she calls his name.
She grows more frustrated as her calls continue to go unanswered until she finally gives up trying.
He’s just busy, she tells herself knowing that it’s a lie.
Her first night in Los Angeles is restless. The excitement of seeing Daniel again is somewhat dampened by his surprised reaction. He is genuinely warm and welcoming, but she still senses that he is holding back.
Still, they fall into a natural rhythm working side-by-side again.
She wants to tell him everything she’s been feeling since he left New York and how much she misses him, but his hesitancy prevents her.
Eventually she falls asleep and dreams of him for the first time in months. They are in his office. Her back is pressed against the wall, she can feel it’s cool surface. Daniel’s hands are planted firmly against it, one on either side of her. He is standing so close that she can feel his warmth. Her hands reach up and land in his hair. His hands lower and grasp her waist. They both start breathing heavily.
She wakes in a sweat and finds the blankets on the bed have been kicked to the floor.
The secret is revealed. When they meet she’s surprised by how much she instantly adores Violet and knows that under different circumstances they would have been great friends.
If only.
As for her own hopes and dreams, they’ve now been dashed in a cold shower of disappointment.
Suddenly Daniel’s no longer engaged. She feels terrible for Violet and for coming to LA and disturbing his whole life.
But there is a renewed hope that builds with the news. She tries to fight it but the near kiss in the van doesn’t help matters, nor does the dream of dancing with him.
Something in her subconscious must have told her he can sing that that. She longs to ask him.
“Sleep well?” He asks with a teasing smile when she rolls over. He’s infuriatingly handsome in the morning with his messy hair and dreamy eyes.
She grabs his waist and pulls him closer. “I did in fact,” she murmurs before kissing him soundly.
She doesn’t dream these days because she has the real thing right beside her.
Once they’d been assured that Thompson would recover, and since he’d already approved her extra vacation days before everything happened, they’ve barely left the room. If they’ve both been taught one thing, it’s that life is unpredictable. Every moment they have together is precious.
She pulls back and rests her head against the pillow to look at him. She can’t believe she’s this lucky. Raising her hand to his face, she gently brushes her thumb across his cheek. “But now that I’m awake I don’t think we should waste another minute of my vacation.”
He responds by rolling on top of her in dramatic fashion that makes her laugh at first, but when she sees the desire in his eyes she stops and sighs contentedly.
“I can’t argue with that,” he says in a low voice that sends shivers down her spine before lowering his head to kiss her again.
A drabble inspired by this song which serendipitously played right as I was in the midst of episode 5 peggysous feelings.
Daniel, when I first saw you
I knew that you had a flame in your heart
As she opened her eyes, she was aware of two things: one, that there was a sharp, stabbing pain in her abdomen and two, that someone was calling her name.
Peggy. The voice sounded so far away and there was a sense of panic in it. She tried turning her head towards the direction from which it came but the slight motion sent shooting pains from her neck down her spine. It then came to her. She had fallen. On her back. There was still feeling in her limbs so she wasn’t paralyzed but the impact from the landing had taken its toll on her body. But there was something else. She tried to answer but upon opening her mouth to speak she realized her throat had closed up and failed to let out a sound.
The dull pain was quickly worsening the longer she lay and was beginning to spread throughout the rest of her body. Gingerly, she was able to tilt her head upward and upon doing so saw what appeared to be a metal rod protruding from her stomach. The unsettling sight made her heart start racing. She now understood the reason for the panic in the other voice. Carefully she lowered her head back down against the concrete, but the blood had already started rushing from her head causing her vision to blur.
A clatter of metal hitting the floor nearby jolted her back into focus.
Peggy. Oh God. The voice now sounded right at her side and she could now detect a slight tremble of worry. But hearing the familiarity of it so close helped steady her heartbeat.
A warm hand lightly touched her arm. Peggy, stay calm. Can you hear me? We’re going to get you out of here. Okay? Don’t worry.
His face now came into view. The warm brown eyes studied her with grave concern. His image blurred for a moment as her eyes welled with tears upon seeing him.
Daniel. It was Daniel. Everything was going to be okay.
Stay calm. She nodded which seemed to give him some reassurance. He swallowed and reached for his crutch. I’m going to go find Jarvis to help me. I’ll be right back. Okay? He’d gained controlled of his nerves and now spoke with steady deliberateness.
She met his eyes which were still wide and alert and nodded again. After giving her shoulder a slight squeeze, he quickly headed off to find the butler.
In his absence the pain began to reach an unbearable state. It was clear that there was a hole ripped through her and now she was feeling the full magnitude of that realization. With a couple deep breaths, she closed her eyes and focused instead on the comfort of his voice and the warmth of his touch.
Daniel, she whispered to herself feeling a calmness settle her. He was here. Everything was going to be okay.
This time when she opened her eyes, he was speaking on the phone in a hushed tone. He must have thought she was still asleep.
She pulled the blanket up closer and watched him. He was in full Chief mode now confidently giving orders to the agent on the other end.
When he hung up, he sighed softly and ran a hand through his rumpled hair before turning around and finding her awake and studying him.
His eyes lit up even in his exhausted and worried state and he smiled at her warmly.
It was hard for her to admit that she needed help. However much she wanted to do it all herself, she couldn’t. Not only because it was physically impossible, but also because she had people that cared about her. She couldn’t afford to be reckless. Tonight had proven just how much she needed her team. And Daniel.
She didn’t dare think about where she might be without him.
@caitscat asked for a worried Daniel rushing to Peggy’s aid fic and then ep. 5 happened...This takes place shortly after and incorporates the promo for ep. 6. Spoilers obviously. Hope you enjoy!
As he rounded the corner with a freshly refilled mug of black coffee in hand, he heard the phone in his office ringing. His eyes glanced up at the clock on the wall as he hurried to answer it - it was after eight. The campaign rally would be in full swing now. Jarvis and Dottie Underwood currently were in the process of attempting to gather a sample of Zero Matter from Whitney Frost. It was a risky assignment to say the least, but the large crowd worked in their advantage both to help distract from what they were attempting to do as well as to prevent Whitney from reacting in any way if she realized what was happening. Instead of heading home to wait for the report, Daniel had decided to remain at the office and catch up on the paperwork that had been piling up since the case began. The leaning tower of loose leaf on his desk had become a safety hazard, threatening to topple onto an unfortunate victim, namely himself, at any given moment.
Since his break-up with Violet three days prior, he had barely left his office, except for two short visits to his house to shower and change into fresh clothes. The office had become his safe place. He could keep himself distracted with work. At home he just got lost in his own head. It was hard enough to avoid thinking about Violet’s face when she had questioned him or Peggy’s fall and injury when he was at work. If he was alone, the feelings would only be amplified. Work was safe. Work kept him busy. If he could just keep himself occupied until this whole matter was resolved then...then...what? Well, he didn’t have that figured out quite yet.
“Chief Sousa,” he answered sharply into the receiver expecting it to be his agent with a report.
“Oh Mr. Sousa, I’m so glad I caught you.” It was Ana Jarvis, obvious from her distinct accent. But the perky voice he’d remembered from the one time they’d met now sounded tinged with worry. “It’s about Peggy. She seems to have, well, disappeared. Her room is empty and I haven’t seen her since dinnertime. Edwin told me to keep an eye on her tonight and I did...well I thought I had - until now.”
Daniel had only seen Peggy once, the previous afternoon, since she had been injured. They’d worked together in Howard’s lab to iron out the plan for tonight’s event but had discussed little else. He had known that Jarvis and Ana, and Dr. Wilkes for that matter, were taking good care of her so he’d intentionally backed off. Something between them had changed that night and he wasn’t really sure he wanted to deal with it yet.
It didn’t really surprise him to hear that Peggy had wandered off. Trying to keep a woman like Peggy Carter confined to her bed was a near impossible task.
“She didn’t give any hints about going to the rally by any chance?” He took a sip of the scalding coffee before setting down the mug on his desk. Unfortunately his distractedness caused him to be a bit too forceful and the dark liquid sloshed onto a report he’d been working on.
“Well she did mention the rally tonight, but she didn’t seem to be too concerned about it.” Ana paused. “Now that I think about it yesterday she mentioned something about needing to search the Chadwick estate to find Whitney Frost’s research on...oh what’s it’s called?”
“Zero Matter,” he replied raising an eyebrow. She’d captured his interest now.
“That’s it. You don’t think that she’d try it tonight while they’re busy at this event do you?”
It suddenly clicked. “She definitely would. Thank you for alerting me, Mrs. Jarvis. I’ll head over there right away. She may need back up.”
After abruptly hanging up the phone, he grabbed his keys without a second thought about abandoning his post and drove as quickly as he could to the Chadwick residence.
He parked down the street in a spot that was partially concealed from the house by a large tree. As he made his way to the house, he noticed a familiar car parked nearby and upon closer inspection confirmed it to be one belonging to Howard Stark. In the upscale neighborhood it easily blended in with the rest of the vehicles. If he hadn’t been looking for it specifically, it would have went undetected.
As he approached the house, he noticed that it was mostly dark. A few of the upper level windows were lit and it appeared that the maids were cleaning those rooms but otherwise the rest of the house and grounds were silent. As he debated where he might find the opening where she accessed the building, a dark form suddenly appeared at one of the windows on the lower floor. He took cover behind the shrubbery and watched as the figure struggled with the lock before finally working it open and climbing through the opening.
He waited for the person to get up and sneak off, but it never happened. He waited a few more moments before it became clear that the person wasn’t getting up. As he carefully approached, he heard a soft painful groan.
“Peggy,” he whispered causing her to jump. “It’s okay, it’s me.”
“Daniel,” she answered with relief before groaning again. “I think I may have misjudged my recovery time.”
She lifted her hand from her stomach and in the moonlight he could just make out a dark spot on her palm.
“You’re bleeding. Oh God, Peg.” His mind raced as tried to figure out how to proceed without creating a scene. “Stay here and I’ll pull the car up.”
“No. Someone in the house will hear. They know the Chadwicks aren’t due for a few more hours. I can manage it if you just help me up.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but she was already trying and failing to pull herself up. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a handkerchief and held it out to her before giving her a hand. “Here take this to help stop the bleeding.”
Once on her feet, Peggy threw an arm around his shoulders and slowly, if a bit awkwardly, they managed to make it to his car undetected.
“Howard’s car...”
“We can’t worry about that now. I’ll have an agent pick it up tomorrow.”
She got in the back seat and laid down carefully. She was doing a good job of hiding her pain, but Daniel knew that it must be greater than she was letting on.
“I think we really should get you to a hospital this time. You may need stitches.”
“I’m fine,” she said waving him off. “I just bumped against a doorframe in the dark which caused the bandage to pull on the scab a bit. Take me back to the office. There’s a first-aid-kit there. That will be enough.”
With a sigh, he nodded trusting her instinct and drove as quickly as he could back to the SSR Headquarters.
Using the same strategy as before, they hobbled their way inside. Once Peggy was comfortably situated in his chair Daniel went off to locate the emergency kit.
When he re-entered the office, Peggy had her blouse slightly pulled up with the bandage removed revealing the freshly bleeding wound.
Upon seeing him linger in the doorway, she waved him in.
“I’m fine. Really. Hand me some of that gauze would you, Daniel.”
“Here - allow me.” He walked over to her and perched himself against the desk so that he could set his crutch aside. With both hands now free, he gently applied the antiseptic and cleaned the wound as best as he could before applying a fresh bandage.
“I have a bit of experience in this area,” he said with a small smile.
She placed a hand on his arm and returned the smile. “I don’t know how you knew what I was up to tonight but thank you.”
“You have Ana Jarvis to thank for that.”
Peggy laughed. “I should have known. It’s hard to get anything by that woman. She has eagle eyes. She really should’ve been an SSR agent.”
“Maybe we should recruit her,” Daniel said with a shrug making Peggy laugh again. Unfortunately it caused her stomach to tighten and she grimaced while touching the wounded area.
He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. “You should have told me, Peg. We’re a team, remember?”
She nodded guiltily and then appeared to remember something. Reaching into the pocket of her trousers, she pulled out several sheets of paper that had been folded and stuffed inside. “Whitney’s notes on Zero Matter. Found them in her lingerie drawer. I think we’ll find some useful information about what she may be up to.”
Daniel shouldn’t have been surprised, but he couldn’t help being impressed with her ability to perform even when seriously injured.
“We can go over these tomorrow. I better get you home now. You need to get some rest.”
Peggy, who was obviously exhausted, simply nodded without argument.
She sat next to him in the front seat this time and he drove slower, careful to avoid any bumps in the road that might jar her injury. The streets were empty and they stayed silent during the trip.
When they reached the Stark mansion, Daniel walked her to the door and for some strange reason felt as nervous as if he were a teenage boy bringing his date home for the night.
“Peggy,” he began causing her to turn around. “I-I was so worried about you that night. I - ”
He paused. “Violet and I split up. When she saw...I mean...it just - it wasn’t going to work out.”
“Oh Daniel. I’m so sorry.”
“I feel awful for Violet, truly, but...” He raised his hand and brushed a strand of hair from her face. “But I can’t deny any longer what I feel for you, Peggy.”
Quickly he removed his hand and turned away. “I-I’m sorry. I know you don’t want - ”
Peggy caught his arm before he could walk away. “How do you know what I want, Daniel? Maybe you should ask me.”
His eyes widened as he stared at her. “You mean...?”
Peggy grabbed the lapels of his jacket pulling him closer and kissed him with a forceful urgency at first and then more gently. Daniel lost all awareness of his surroundings and stumbled slightly on his prosthetic leg causing them finally to break apart.
She smiled teasingly at him. “There’s my answer. I think we have much more to discuss on this matter in the future.”
He nodded, stunned.
“Goodnight, Daniel.”
When he remembered to speak again, the door was already closed behind her.
Since Peggy had arrived in LA, he had faced so many ups and downs that he’d felt like his whole life was spinning out of control. Now for the first time everything felt right. Instead of a weight on his shoulders, he felt a feeling of contentment settle in its place.
As he walked back to his car, Daniel couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. Whitney Frost could try what she liked, but nothing was going to stop the team of Carter and Sousa now.
@caitscat requested a fic with a love confession or first kiss. Naturally, I had to include both (with some angst of course). Hope you like it!
To say he’d shown up at the Stark estate looking a little worse for wear was a major understatement. The normal careful attention to detail in his grooming habits had slipped significantly in the past few weeks. If one couldn’t already tell from the creases in his pants, the mussed hair that needed a decent combing, and the past-5 o’clock shadow residing on his usually clean-shaven face, than the bags under his eyes and the stoop in his posture would certainly reveal that his personal life was far from okay. Daniel had lost track of the last night he’d gotten a decent amount of sleep. All interest in trying to keep up appearances had vanished when the insomnia had set in. Why should he keep trying to fake a positive facade when he was anything but? He felt as though everything was slipping away from him. Peggy’s time in LA was almost up and there was no sign that she was going to choose to stay.
An overheard remark by one of the agents at the office minutes earlier, however, had propelled him into action. Perhaps he had one more chance, one last attempt to convince her otherwise - if only he could catch her in time.
As he slammed the door to his car and raced up the front pathway of the mansion, Daniel tried his best to smooth the dark, stubborn flyaway strands of hair into place with his crutch-less hand. It was a task easier said than done after weeks of neglect had allowed his hair to run wild. Frustrated with its lack of cooperation, he gave up halfway to the door and let the strands fall back against his forehead. Maybe looking pitiful would work to his advantage.
Before he had even reached the porch, the front door swung open and a perplexed looking Jarvis stepped outside to greet him.
“Agent Sousa, what a surprise! What can I do for you?”
Daniel paused to catch his breath before speaking between deep gasps for air. “I need...Peggy. Is she here?” He looked over the butler’s shoulder into the house wondering if he could just force his way inside and bypass the need for conversation.
Jarvis blinked and cocked his head in confusion. “I’m afraid I’ve just returned from taking Miss Carter to the airport. She’s heading back to New York today as you...know.” He paused when he noticed Daniel’s jaw drop. “Oh. Didn’t you know? I thought of all people you would have known, Mr. Sousa.”
“I didn’t...I mean, I knew Peggy was leaving soon, but I didn’t think she would...” His voice trailed off as he realized that his chance had passed, perhaps for the last time.
When he looked back up to meet Jarvis’s gaze, the butler saw a lost, faraway expression in the agent’s eyes.
“She left without saying goodbye,” Daniel said, shaking his head as if he was trying to force away the thought, unable to believe it could really be true.
“Oh dear.” Jarvis froze and found himself in a rare state of helplessness as to how to assist the obviously heartbroken man. But after a moment’s reflection a thought occurred to him and he pulled out a watch from his pocket to check the time. “You know the plane isn’t supposed to leave for another quarter of an hour. I had to get back to help with preparations for Mr. Stark’s pool party this afternoon. Perhaps there will be a delay or...”
Daniel had begun to pace the length of the porch but spun on his heels at the suggestion. He stared at the other man before nodding sharply and dashing off back to his car. “Thanks, Jarvis,” he shouted over his shoulder, ignoring the offers to drive him to the airport.
But no thanks, he mumbled to himself as he hurried down the gravel path. The butler might enjoy playing chauffeur, but at this point the only person whom Daniel trusted to get to that airport in time was himself. There was a chance he might need to break a few traffic laws if he was going to get there in time.
Since the morning rush was over, the streets were, for once, miraculously free of traffic and Daniel was able to make it to the airport in record time. But after checking with the airline desk, his high hopes were soon dashed. The 11:00 to New York had indeed taken off exactly on schedule.
It was over.
He collapsed into a nearby chair that faced large windows with a view of the planes taking off down the runway. Just minutes ago one of them had carried off the love of his life to the far side of the country. He let his crutch crash to the floor and pressed his palms to his face as the realization sunk in.
She didn’t want him. That was clear now. He’d thought that once before. It was the reason he’d taken the job in LA. But then when she’d arrived in California, he’d thought maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe there was hope. But now he knew that he’d been wrong for thinking so positively.
How was he supposed to move on now? How did one simply get over the pain of heartbreak not only once, but twice?
As he rubbed his eyes in frustration, a light touch on the back of his right shoulder interrupted his pained reflections. He ignored it, thinking someone had accidentally bumped into him from behind but the hand remained fixed. He was about to kindly tell the person to buzz off but upon turning his head saw the familiar neatly manicured red fingernails resting on his tan blazer.
He exhaled sharply with a shudder and turned his body around to find her standing behind him with a gentle smile on her red lips.
“Hello Daniel,” Peggy said softly as she lightly squeezed his shoulder.
“I thought you - I mean I - they said at the desk that the flight left. I...”
She nodded as her the corners of her mouth curved into a more teasing grin. “That’s correct. The flight did leave - just without me on it.”
Slowly she made her way around the row of seats to where he was sitting. He couldn’t take his eyes off the confident sway of her hips, not able to believe that she could actually still be in California.
She sat next to him and picked up his crutch from the floor to lean between them. She set a small carry-on bag in the chair next to her, but lacked any other luggage.
“All of my possessions are either in New York or on their way right this minute,” she said laughing softly before looking up to meet his stunned face.
He returned a weak smile but found it hard to handle humor at the current moment. Swallowing away his pride, he decided to directly ask the question that had been tearing a hole in his heart since speaking with Jarvis.
“You were going to leave. Without saying goodbye?” He tried masking his hurt, but knew that she would be able to read it in his eyes.
Peggy sighed and nodded. “I was going to. I’d made up my mind as soon as the case was over. I thought maybe it would be easier-”
“Easier for whom?” he cut in sharply.
Now it was Peggy’s turn to look guilty, but she did so while staring directly into his eyes. “It was selfish of me. I know that. At the very least I owed you a goodbye.” She bit her bottom lip and looked down to smooth a wrinkle in her skirt.
“The truth is that I was scared. I know you’d broken things off with Violet, but I...” She sighed again. “I was worried that it might be too late for us.”
He reached over and covered her hand with his own. At his touch, she turned her wrist so that their fingers intertwined. For a moment they sat silent staring at their joined hands, feeling each other’s pulses as they beat in unison.
Daniel cleared his throat and studied the side of her face that was turned toward him. How he’d always longed to run a hand through her silky hair and press a kiss to the delicate skin beneath her ear.
“Do you really believe that? That it’s too late for us?” He asked when she looked up to meet his gaze.
She shook her head slowly. “If I did I would be on that plane right now.”
“But you’re not.”
She smiled.
Leaning closer to her, he slowly raised his hand and rested it against the side of her face running his thumb against the smooth skin of her cheek.
“I’m in love with you, Peggy Carter. I have been since...well, for such a long time that I can’t even really remember. Probably since our first case together.”
“I thought you wanted to strangle me during that case,” she said with a devilish grin.
He snickered before his expression softened as he looked into her eyes. “You’re right, but it was during the case when I realized that even though you were the most stubborn person I’ve ever met, I loved you anyways. Maybe even because of it. You didn’t let anyone tell you what to do or boss you around. You were confident in yourself and in your abilities. You know who you are, Peggy, and I love that about you. I’m not here to change who you are or what you do. I just want to be a part of your life, to share our lives with each other.”
Taking him by surprise, Peggy brought her hands to the sides of his face and pulled him in for an unexpected kiss.
It was tentative at first as it took Daniel a second to realize what was happening and but quickly became passionate as the months of bottled up feelings finally had a chance to be set free.
Her soft full lips on his. Her perfume mixing with his cologne. Their fingers in each others’ hair. Daniel felt like he was dissolving into her. That even though the space between them had disappeared, he couldn’t get close enough.
She moaned softly when their lips parted and tongues met. When she gently bit his bottom lip he responded in kind with a throaty murmur of his own.
They were so caught up in each other that they became unaware of all other people until someone behind them loudly cleared his throat. Forced to break apart at last, they turned around and found a security guard giving them a disapproving look like they were two naughty schoolchildren.
They could help but laugh as they joined hands and walked out of the airport.
Once outside Daniel paused and turned to Peggy. “So what now? You’re supposed to be back in New York? Thompson’s going to kill me. Or you. Or both of us.”
Peggy hooked her arm through his elbow and led them into the bright sunshine. “I haven’t used a day of vacation since I started. I figure I’m due for a week or two off.”
Daniel raised an eyebrow. “And then?” he asked hesitantly.
“And then...we figure out what happens next. Together.”
He wrapped his arm around her and brought her in for another kiss. “Sounds like a plan.”
Peggy reached up a hand to smooth the tangles in his hair. “I always have a plan.”
He’d picked up the receiver only to slam it back down so many times that people in the office had started to notice. On a couple of occasions the person closest to his doorway had even peeked a head through with an “Everything okay, Chief?” as they clearly hoped to gather some bit of juicy gossip to pass along to the rest of their curious co-workers. He’d always done his best to stay out of the office drama, but lately he suspected that he was the topic of the recent whisperings at the coffee machine. A few days ago, Ben, one of the younger recruits had jokingly asked him if he’d left a girl behind in New York. Though it had been meant as a harmless tease, the words had stung due to the current state of his emotions and he had immediately assigned the unlucky agent to a punishment of desk duty for the rest of the week. This, of course, proved to be a mistake as the outburst only helped to give the rumors a hint of truth.
Ben had been spot-on (was he really that obvious?). He did leave someone behind in New York and she was the reason he was in LA in the first place.
Though the job was a promotion that came with a nice paycheck increase and the benefits of being his own boss, not to mention the temperate climate and access to beaches that didn’t exactly hurt matters, he couldn’t really enjoy his time there. Not when his heart remained on the other side of the country.
He’d given it time, an excruciatingly long and, for him, painful amount of time, but it had felt like he would be waiting forever. She had seemed to be quite happy with how things were between the two of them and made no motion to change the relationship.
He wanted more. More than a friendship. More than a work partner. If she didn’t want that, than he knew there was only one thing he could do - leave. He didn’t want to try and change her mind. He wanted her to want it too. Otherwise there was no point.
When he was offered the job in LA, he boarded the next available plane without a look back.
Now that he was settled in California, however, it seemed like all he did was look back at what might have been.
The phone rang jolting him out of his reverie.
“Hello? Daniel?...It’s Peggy.”
He swallowed, concerned for a moment that he was still daydreaming but her soothing voice was all too real. “Peggy.” Her name rolled so pleasingly off his lips. “How are things in New York?...”
