#agentofass

[liloe]

i impulsively deleted my tumblr and i remade and honestly dont have most people’s urls to re-add so anyway if ur in my tag wondering where the fuck i went here i am

[evancl]

if i remember right the gift was a pair of Toms

:(((

[thisdorkyblogthing]

agentofass replied to your post: remember when they made Final Destinat...

i watched all those shitty movies when i was a kid my fav scene is this dudebro working out and pounding the wall then a random sword cuts his head off ??? classic

it’s like you can hear the writers using an I Spy book for ideas

[eroscestlavie]

agentofass replied to your post: i worry 4 the emotional maturity of pp...

most of them are like 15 lbr

NOOO are u kidding me its always like the 30 year old x files superfans who fandom hop between remake announcements 

[bitchlibra]

agentofass replied to your post: since ur predictions are correct... will...

my cousin who’s friend’s dad works with Modest! can 100% confirm this

your cousins friend’s dad is actually me, i’d appreciate it if you didn’t expose me as a Modest! intern infront of all these people, thanks!

[eroscestlavie]

agentofass replied to your post: i had to delete that script it was 2 b...

that shit was full on baiting

it was gay and bad 

[robotticellis]

@ erin let me tell you about when we went to 6 flags stoned......it was bring a friend free day and my friends has season passes so none of us had to pay, which will make the ending of this story a lot better. we ate firecrackers before we left and then smoked a few p-hits in the parking lot before we got spooked by too many people around. it’s fucking hot as hell and im dying but i know the firecracker is kicking in when watered down hi-c tastes like high-class orange spritzer water. 6 flags just opened up this new dope ass justice league ride so we decide to go for that first. we wait in line for a while and i know we’re all getting progressively higher. me and my friend are having a conversation about god knows what (i cant remember about what, but i know it was straight up high-talk) and the mom in front of us keeps jumping in like we’re not contemplating the mysteries of the universe. we wait for so long. the ride breaks down a couple times. the security guard yells at us when our friend jumps the fence to refill our drink that we desperately need because of how hot it is. i’m fucking high by this point and the mom keeps on chatting to us and im trying not to lose my cool. i almost tap someone on the shoulder and whisper ‘i’m so high’ because i mistake them for my friend and i quickly realize they are not. we finally fucking get to the inside part of the line where there is air conditioning and there’s finally relief from the wicked heat. we move up a little farther in the line, probably only a 30-40 minute wait from there. 

and the ride fucking breaks down again. me? i’m determined to wait this shit out. the inside of the ride looks dope and im ready to have my mind fucking blown. my friends? not so much. “lets just fucking leave” they say. so we push through the narrow fucking line and climb through the fucking railings to get out, which of course my fat, high ass is having a hayday doing.

to top it all off, i was wearing a dragon ball z shirt, so i was literally being assaulted on all sides by fuck boys yelling ‘I LIKE YOUR SHIRT’ while my terrified high ass is just trying to make it out alive.

we literally left the park without riding a single ride i cant fucking believe it 

[thisdorkyblogthing]

agentofass: thor fires loki out of a cannon every night dont let them try to slander their good name

the cannon is his penis