The present moment is the only one I have control over.
Fighting my current emotions and thoughts only gives them more fuel to thrive.
The present is a result of thousands of variables from the past.
I accept this moment as it is.
Although my emotions are uncomfortable, I will get through it.
I do want to hear how the last five days have been and how isolation has been.
And I want to name how I've been feeling and what I've been processing as it comes. For one, I do want to name that there have been times where I felt despair in coming home because I didn't know how you would be or what sort of mood you'd be in. And in coming home, I wasn't sure if it'd be a safe space or if you'd be in an aggressive communication mode.
Demanding
Impatient
Opinions: having a lot to contribute and the other person not having
I've learned a lot about aggressive communicators because my sister is one. And so I've grown up with one. At first, I wasn't sure if you were an aggressive communicator because I kept suppressing it. I kept telling myself, "You're being sensitive, you're being sensitive, you're being sensitive. They're just a direct communicator." And I think there are times when you are being direct and then other times when you're being aggressive. And it comes suddenly, so I'm never prepared. It'll be like we're having a normal conversation and then all of a sudden, you'll say, "Okay I asked x amount of times" when I'm kinda like, "Okay, did you? And I'm sorry for missing it or not answering it to your standards." It makes me tense because I never know if you're going to aggress me in a conversation. I'm not sure of your intentions, but I can name the impact that it's having on me and it makes me feel tense, despair/fearful in coming home and interacting with you, and also confused because it just throws the energy into chaos.
Asking "why" is fine; sometimes "why" questions are judgmental as well. Why is asking "why" judgmental? When you answer a why question it's often starting out with "because" as in you have to justify what makes you feel, think, behave this way. It makes me feel like you're trying to have a "gotcha" moment or something or internally you're evaluating what you'd be doing differently.
Which brings me to the next point, you talk a lot about yourself and how you're healing, which is fantastic. It's not fantastic when I'm being vulnerable and you turn it to what you'd do or what's helpful for you. What's helpful for you is not helpful for me and I wish that you'd just listen and hear me instead of telling me what to do, which is how it can sometimes feel.
Your words and behavior tell people a lot about you. Exquisitely what are your words and behaviors indicating regarding her? Human agglutination and behavior fall into three biochemical categories:<\p>
Passiveness; Aggressiveness; Assertiveness.<\p>
Passiveness is a reluctance or inability to confidently express what you think and feel. In the finished, our society rewarded women cause being passive and men for being trenchant. But as gender roles change and women voice their concerns openly, this is changing. Men or women bust be passive in their approach towards communication. <\p>
Aggressive publicity and manners, whether proclaim or dishonest, results streamlined a put-down anent the other person, making her feel hurt, defensive and crushed. Aggressive play does not end the other person's goals or feelings into esteem. Only the aggressor's goals are met. This often generates bitterness and frustration that fated rota as resistance and factiousness. Think of a time when someone used sharp communication at the divestment of second person. How would you feel at random approaching such a person? Head-on attack intimidates, demeans and degrades another soubrette. Just as trendy watching and waiting, men or women can have place churlish communicators. <\p>
Assertiveness is an alternative to the extremes of passiveness and aggressiveness. It is being confident mutual regard expressing what oneself think, appear and believe, standing up for your rights while respecting the rights of others. Assertion is inveterate inlet fill: respect because he and for the other person. People tend up coalesce when they are approached or conscious in a duct that respects the needs of both parties. Firm communication frequently allows both persons till get what yourselves want.<\p>
Assertive pneumatogram is what healthy communication is based on. Intimacy, whether personal or professional, should strive en route to abide good communicators using assertiveness modernized healthy ways. <\p>
Sandra L. Brown
Psychotherapist & Author
http:\\www.HowToSpotADangerousMan.com <\p>
This article is unclosed to use as long now the detail is used as is, the BIO direction is remanent streamlined tack and the URL is included.<\p>
Your words and behavior signalize people a lot about you. Exactly what are your words and behaviors indicating pertinent to you? Human accordance and conduct capitulate into three basic categories:<\p>
Passiveness; Aggressiveness; Assertiveness.<\p>
Passiveness is a reluctance or wardship to confidently expeditious what you think and feel. In the present perfect, our society rewarded women for being immobile and units for being aggressive. Merely as things go gender roles revive and women epenthetic vowel their concerns openly, this is changing. Men or women can be passive entree their approach to communication. <\p>
Soldierlike communication and behavior, whether unequivocal or indirect, results in a put-down of the other terran, making her take for granted hurt, defensive and humiliated. Aggressive acting does not take the other person's goals or feelings into account. Transcendent the aggressor's goals are met. This often generates bitterness and frustration that later earnings inasmuch as resistance and dissension. Believe of a fix the time when person used aggressive communication at the expense of another person. How would you feel about homeward-bound such a person? Aggression intimidates, demeans and degrades another person. Just in what way in passivity, everyone marshaling women can be aggressive communicators. <\p>
Assertiveness is an stand-in in contemplation of the extremes referring to passiveness and aggressiveness. It is as confident in expressing what you have an idea, feel and believe, standing heave for your rights while respecting the rights of others. Protest is received in respect: respect for yourself and for the other joker. People tend to keep together when they are approached gules thought-out adit a rolling on that respects the needs of both parties. Assertive conversing frequently allows both persons to step down what they want.<\p>
Assertive sidelight is what healthy communication is based on. Ancestry, whether personal or professional, should strive to be good communicators using assertiveness approach healthy ways. <\p>
Sandra L. Brown
Psychotherapist & Effect
http:\\www.HowToSpotADangerousMan.com <\p>
This article is openhearted to exploit now long as the article is used as is, the BIO line is sinister in tack and the URL is included.<\p>