So like over a month ago, I posted a little snippet/chapter of this rewritten fanfic I was working on, and idk, thought it might get some appreciation here because from my first month or two on tumblr I’ve learned a03 is a BIG thing on here.
Also, if anyone here is from a03 (btw, go check out my a03 account maybe, it’s Starsinabox, though most of my old fanfics kind of suck..) but anyway! If anyone found my account from a03, yes it is ‘Me Instead of Him’!! I’ve decided I’m going to be rewriting the fanfic, but I haven’t posted any of it because I’m scared to do so. I’ve already gave up on it in the past (though at that time I was in a pretty bad social situation) and I’m scared that it’ll happen again and just genuinely don’t want to let anyone down.
I’m trying to finish it before I post it, just to make sure I don’t go up and abandon it agian. Anyway, sorry for the whole fucking villain monologue I just went on, enjoy!!
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Summary:
“He was going to die. Die without ever seeing his brothers, Two-bit, or even Steve ever again.”
“He had to apologize to Darry. He realized. For being so stubborn. For not listening to him. Nothing like a life or death situation to make you realize your regrets huh, Ponyboy? The voice in the back of his head snickered at him, mocking him even in his final moments.”
“He would never get the chance to apologize though, as the darkness that had been slowly creeping up, finally consumed him.”
Or
What if Johnny was spared from the fire rather than Ponyboy?
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Friday, September 24th, 1965, 3:24 PM
Ever since he had left Dairy Queen, all Ponyboy heard was arguing
Johnny was never one for fighting, one glance at the way he held himself and anyone could tell that. So, it was a new experience to hear Johnny talk the way he was, almost angry sounding. And out of all the people he could’ve been talking to like that, it was the Dallas Winston. Johnny's hero, his muse.
“Dal, you ain’t listening to me!” Johnny said, desperation creeping into his voice. “No, kid, you ain’t listening to me!” Dallas snapped at him, waving a hand in the air. Johnny winced, which caused Dallas to immediately backtrack. “Your parents ain’t care ‘bout you.” Dally’s tone was gentler, but his words were relentlessly cruel.
“To make it out in life, you gotta get over it! It ain’t how it should be, but you gotta!” That was the most emotional Ponyboy had ever seen Dallas’s. The unsteadiness of his voice, the glint in his eye. Honestly, it was scary.
“Well, what if I don’t want-“ Johnny began, but he was swiftly cut off by Dallas slamming on the break.
The thunderbird's tires screamed as they slid across the road, surely leaving tire marks. For a moment, it almost seemed like they were about to flip, but with the years of experience in drag races Dallas had, he was able to keep all four tires on the road.
Hardly having any time to react, Ponyboy’s face slammed into the passenger seat in front of him, causing pain to erupt from his nose, making his eyes water.
“Oh glory..” Johnny whispered, panic rising in his voice. Ponyboy picked his head from off the seat, rubbing his throbbing nose; what he saw through his teary vision sucked the air from his lungs. The church. Engulfed in flames. Plumes of thick, black smoke rose into the sky, reaching to the heavens like long fingers of death.
“How’d the hell that start?” Dallas said as he started up the car again, rolling up the church. Johnny glanced over his shoulder at Ponyboy, his eyebrows knotted up. Ponyboy swallowed thickly. “Me or Johnny must’a dropped a cigarette or somethin’.” He said.
“Oh golly, ‘course ya’ll did.” Dallas said, sounding exasperated. His grip on the wheel tightened.
As the church grew closer, the chaos erupting around it came into view. Little kids huddled up together, screaming and whimpering, hugging onto each other like their lives depended on it.
“Oh Jerry— some of the kids! Some of the kids are missing!” A thin lady with short, curly hair ran up to the only other adult, which was a big fat man.
“Oh, I’m sure they’re around here somewhere.” The man, Jerry, said, looking around at the group of kids that were gathered around him. “Now you listen to me!” The woman snapped back, her voice raising. “I’m sure of it! They were just-” She suddenly fell quiet, deathly quiet.
Ponyboy strained his ears and held his breath, scared that if he even dared to breathe wrong everything could get impossibly worse. Then, he heard it. Barely, just barely, over the crackles snaps and of the flames, over the ruckus around them, he could hear it. Screams, Blood curdling screams. Ones that were coming from inside the church.
“Oh god, I told them not to play inside that church, I told them!” The woman screamed, clutching at her chest like she was about to have a heart attack.
Before Ponyboy could think about what he was doing, he was swinging the car door open, and his feet were landing on the grass. He started at a dead run to the old building, ignoring the curses and threats erupting from Dallas.
“Kid, wait, you can’t go in there!” Jerry called out to Ponyboy, grabbing ahold of his elbow, but he shook him off without a word, being too caught up in his own thoughts to heed the man’s warning. He and Johnny had started this. They had started this mess. They were the ones that had killed Bob, they were the ones that had been smoking inside the church, and now some random kids were going to pay for it.
The old steps creaked dangerously under Ponyboy, threatening to give way under his weight as he rushed up them. Orange flames had enveloped the old building's door, eating away hungrily at the wood.
“Watch it!” A voice suddenly shouted. Ponyboy jumped out of the way just in time, as a large rock came hurtling past him. It slammed into one of the windows, splintering the planks that boarded it up. Ponyboy swirled to look behind him, only to be met with Johnny's black eyes. He hadn’t even heard him follow along.
With nothing more than a glance, the two ran up and started prying the wood from the window. Ponyboy was the first to haul himself into the building, the black smoke immediately causing his eyes to water.
The church was nearly unrecognizable. Orange and red flames painted the walls, flickering wildly. The pews creaked and groaned as flames ate them up excitedly. Half of the floor had collapsed, leaving the ground slanted and uneven. Ash and debris floated down from the ceiling, coating anything that wasn't already on fire in a fine, gray dust. But no matter how much he looked, Ponyboy couldn’t see even one kid.
Johnny spoke his thoughts, having to yell to make himself heard over the flames. “Where are the kids?!” Ponyboy hesitated for a second, before he started off through the church, having to step over burning planks to do so. “Probably in the back!”
“Did that guy follow?” He continued, trying his best to swat the smoke away from his face, and failing miserably.
“Window stopped him.” Johnny answered.
“Too scared?”
“Nawh.. too fat..!”
Ponyboy would’ve laughed, but he knew if he did he’d inhale enough smoke to make him drop dead then and there.
They eventually made it to the back room of the church, which Ponyboy suspected used to be a storage room because of all the crates and empty bookshelves that were back there.
Even though he couldn’t see the kids, the eardrum shattering screams told Ponyboy that he and Johnny were getting close. “Anyone back here?!” Johnny yelled. “We’re here to get ya’ll out!”
Ponyboy stepped around a fallen bookcase, wiping the water that had pooled in his eyes. Through the thick smoke, in the back corner of the room, he saw a small huddle of pigtails, dresses and chubby faces.
Ponyboy motioned to Johnny, nodding his head to the corner. Johnny beat him over to the kids, while Ponyboy found where the window was.
Johnny picked up the first screaming ball of tears and snot, while Ponyboy worked on prying off the boards from the window. Once he was able to break through, he was surprised to find Dallas waiting for them on the other side.
“Dally!” He yelled, and for the first time ever, he could say he was happy to see Dallas Winston.
“Here Dal, take him!” Johnny shoved past Ponyboy, passing the little girl he was holding to the older boy. It was about a five foot drop to the ground, but Dallas was tall enough that he could take the kid from Johnny with relative ease.
Johnny leaned back into the church, looking at Ponyboy, grinning. For the first time since Johnny got jumped, Ponyboy didn’t see that glint of fear behind his dark eyes.
Johnny turned back and picked up another kid, which he then passed back to Ponyboy, who then dropped her to Dallas.
Before Johnny could pick up the next kid, there was a thunderous crash that came from behind them, causing the already unstable ground underneath them to tremble. If Ponyboy had to guess, the floor had just finished caving in on itself.
“Idiots! Forget them blasted kids, the church is about to come down, get outa there!” Dallas warned, Ponyboy could hardly hear him over the fire.
He was right, though. The roof above them was creaking worryingly loud, the beams bended underneath the roof's weight, threatening to snap.
Ponyboy cursed under his breath, and ran to the corner, passing Johnny as he did. He reached for another kid, his chest heaving sporadically as his lungs desperately screamed for fresh air, but all they got was the hot, muddled smoke.
“Owch!” He yelped as a shooting pain flashed through his hand; the little fucker had bit him! And he wasn’t letting up neither. Ponyboy picked up the kid awkwardly, not feeling the blood that ran down the side of his hand.
“Take 'em, Johnny, get him!” Ponyboy yelled desperately for Johnny, but he was having a coughing fit.. Ponyboy grunted and shoved past him and threw the kid to Dallas, who barely caught him.
Surprisingly though, the screaming didn’t stop. Ponyboy leaned his head back into church, looking quickly around the small room, but he couldn’t see anyone. He knew there was another kid. Even through the crackling and creaking, he could hear him clear as day, but where the hell was he?
“Pony— Pony, you gotta get out’a here!” Johnny yelled, but Ponyboy could hardly hear him. The roaring of the fire, the ringing in his ears, the horrific screaming, it was all too much. Maybe it was because he never used his head, or maybe it was a heat of the moment thing, but Ponyboy decided something that was unquestionably idiotic, something that could cost his life. He had to look for that kid.
Johnny wouldn’t make it another minute in the church though, Ponyboy knew that too, there was no point in them both dying, was there?
Ponyboy swirled around and grabbed Johnny by the waist, doing his best to pick him up, his knees buckling under him as he tried to support the weight of the other boy.
“What in all mighty hell do you think you’re doin’!?” Dallas screamed at him, sounding more surprised than anything.
Ponyboy struggled Johnny over to the window. “Shut up and catch him!” He yelled. He couldn’t believe he told Dallas Winston to shut up, and not just that, he actually listened. Dallas shut his trap, and dug his fingernails into his palm, scowling.
Ponyboy tossed Johnny out of the window, and thankfully, Dally caught him before he could hit the ground and break his neck. Without another word, Ponyboy disappeared back into the smoke.
The flames were only getting worse, beams above him were starting to fall, landing dangerously close. What would he do if the floor collapsed like the front of the church? Would he just have to accept his fate?
Ponyboy quickly shook the thought from his head. He couldn’t think about that, it would just make everything worse.
The room was small, a hardly larger than the size of a bathroom, the hell could this kid even be? “Is anyone else here?!” Ponyboy yelled, cupping his hands over his mouth to try and be heard. It was getting hard to breathe, very hard to breathe, in fact. He really, really had to get out of there, and soon.
“I’m here to help! You just gotta-“ Ponyboy was cut off by a vicious cough, which immediately sent him into a fit. Every time he breathed in it felt like a burning hot coal got dropped into his lungs, which only made him hack more. His chest rattled with each violent cough, and tears ran down his soot covered face. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe. He was going to die here.
“Over here!” A squeaky voice yelled out, and Ponyboy barely had the strength to look up. A boy had crawled out from under one of the burning book shelves, holding another, slightly smaller boy by his hair. God, they just couldn’t come out sooner, could they?
Ponyboy reached over and grabbed the bigger kid by the back of his shirt, not noticing the flames that engulfed his hand. He pulled the kid up and shoved him over to the window, too caught up in his coughing fit to bring them out himself. The smoke engulfed the two, then they were gone.
Ponyboy didn’t see, or hear what happened to them, he just had to hope they got out. He tried to follow after them, but he couldn’t move.
He was doubled over, practically dry heaving. The church was collapsing, boards above him snapping loudly, blending into the crackles of the fire. This was going to the end of him, and he was the one who caused it.
He couldn’t die here. A voice rang in the back of his head, though he was barely conscious enough to hear it. He couldn’t die here, he had brothers waiting for him at home, even if one of them hated his guts.
Ponyboy forced his head up and peeled open his eyes, only to find that he couldn’t tell where he was. The smoke surrounded him, making it nearly impossible to see anything that wasn’t right in front of him, and it was only growing thicker. He held back a cough, and wiped his eyes, stumbling forward blindly, hoping, praying that he would find his way out.
And by some amazing miracle, as he continued through the flames, streaks of light started to penetrate through the dark smoke. He prayed that it was the light from outside, and not the light at the end of the tunnel.
Before he could find out, though, he heard a deafening snap above him, then followed by that was what sounded like a landslide.
Before he could look up, or even move, he felt something slam into the side of his head, yet, oddly enough it didn’t hurt. A sickening, deafening CRAAAAAACK! echoed through his head, through his body, making his bones vibrate.
It was the sound of his skull breaking. A board had broken in two above him, and with all that built up tension, it had slammed him right on the side of his head.
His body crashed to the ground, and the wooden boards bended under him, nearly snapping. He faded in and out of consciousness, hardly able to hear himself think.
He was going to die. Die without ever seeing his brothers, Two-bit, or even Steve ever again.
He had to apologize to Darry. He realized. For being so stubborn, for not listening to him. Nothing like a life or death situation to make you realize your regrets huh Ponyboy? The voice in the back of his head snickered at him, mocking him even in his final moments.
He would never get the chance to apologize though, as the darkness that had been slowly creeping up, finally consumed him.
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Sorry if this was ooc or didn’t accurately represent the characters, I tried my best! Any kind of comments are appreciated! I’m thinking of maybe posting updates as I keep writing the chapters! Anyway, have a good day :3