A Lost Hope
Airforce!Harrison x Reader
Warnings- ANGST: Mention of death and losing someone
Summary- Harrison is supposed to be coming home soon, until (Y/n) gets an unpleasant surprise.
Word Count- 2,595
A/N- This is for @keepingupwiththeparkers' 4k writing challenge! Congrats, I hope you like this story, I was gonna do a Peter one but then I got this idea! I really hope the idea turns out as good as I imagined it in my head! I’m using the dialogue prompt “I thought I’d lost you”. I don’t know a whole lot about the airforce and some of this might not be realistic or legitimate, but it’s fanFICTION, so please forgive me.
Also, if you liked it, please reblog and leave feedback!
Moodboard made by @uglypastels!! Thank you so much!
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Harrison and (Y/n) had been married for 2 years before Harrison decided he wanted to join the airforce. When he was younger he had wanted to join the airforce and always had the idea in the back of his mind, but never actually went through with it.
They got married when they were both 20 after dating for a year, and 2 years later Harrison realized he still wanted to pursue his dream of joining the airforce.
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Harrison came home from work one day, the smell of pasta and garlic toast wafting through the air. He sets his keys on the table by the door and makes his way into the kitchen, kissing (Y/n) on the cheek. “Smells amazing, love.”
She turns and smiles at him, cupping his cheek and kissing him softly. “Can you set the table while I finish up dinner? It’s almost done.”
Harrison nods “Of course.” As Harrison sets the table he starts thinking about it again. He worries that (Y/n) won’t want him to go. He knows it won’t be easy, that he’ll be gone a lot and that they’ll miss each other, but he hopes that her love and support would still apply for this situation.
As they eat dinner that night Harrison is more in his thoughts than in the conversation they’re having. (Y/n) can tell something’s going on. When they both finish their food and Harrison is sitting there thinking, she takes the dishes and puts them in the sink.
When she comes back, as she suspected, Harrison hasn’t moved. She can see the expression on his face and can tell that he’s worried about whatever he is thinking about. (Y/n) moves her chair by his and takes both of his hands in hers. Harrison looks up at her and she smiles softly at him. “Talk to me Haz.” She says, running her thumbs over the back of his hands.
Harrison looks down, worried about what she is going to think. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Ever since I was younger I wanted to join the airforce and I never actually did. I’ve been thinking about joining now, though..”
(Y/n) is quiet for a moment, thinking about what he said and about what this will mean. She lets go of one of his hands and tilts his head up with her fingers under his chin. “Harrison, I’m not going to stop you from chasing your dream. Yes, it will be hard on us, but we can get through this. You know I love and support you no matter what.” She places a soft kiss on his lips, leaning back in her seat and holding Harrison’s hands again.
Harrison smiles, squeezing his wife’s hands softly. “Thank you. I love you so much.” He leans forward and kisses (Y/n) softly.
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Harrison has been serving in the air force for 4 years now, and (Y/n) has come to cherish the times when he’s home. Whenever he leaves again, she always counts down the days until he comes back home again. Modern technology is really a blessing while Harrison is gone, whenever they get the chance they call or Skype with each other.
When (Y/n) gets home from work she microwaves some chicken nuggets for dinner and checks the calendar. Harrison is due to come home in about a week and a half. She smiles to herself and turns on a movie on Netflix.
It’s 11:47 when (Y/n) decides to go to bed. Harrison hasn’t called for a couple days, but that doesn’t stop her from staying up just in case he does call. It’s nothing new, she doesn’t think anything of it because she knows he gets busy sometimes. She knows how important his job is and that he has to focus on his missions.
(Y/n) shuts off the TV and turns the lights off, making her way to bed. She undresses and puts one of Harrison’s old shirts, making sure to pick one that still faintly smells like him.
She curls up in bed, checking her phone one last time before locking it and setting it down on the dresser. She cuddles up to the teddy bear Harrison got her for their anniversary, the one anniversary he was able to celebrate without being miles away.
It’s about 4 in the morning when (Y/n) is woken up to someone knocking on her door. She checks her phone quickly; nothing new. Quickly she puts on some sweats, wondering what Tom would be doing knocking on her door so early in the morning. She’s thankful that it’s a Saturday so she can take a nap later on.
When she opens the door all of her thoughts disappear and her mind goes blank at the sight of two policemen standing outside her door. All of a sudden all she feels is dread, hoping they aren’t here for what she thinks.
“Are you Mrs. Osterfield?” The taller one asks, and all (Y/n) can do is nod in response. “I’m officer Wolfe, and this is my partner officer Beck. We’re sorry to inform you that while your husband was on a mission last night the plane he was on crashed. There have been no traces of where the plane was before it crashed. We have people searching for the whereabouts of the crash but have had no luck so far.”
(Y/n) nods silently, looking down at the ground as she tries to process their words. She looks up at the officers and nods again “Thank you, officers.” She mutters, watching as they apologize for her loss and make their way back to their car.
As they leave (Y/n) just stands there, still trying to process. She understood them perfectly fine, she’s just trying to wrap her head around it. She feels as if she’s in shock, like everything is frozen around her.
As (Y/n) makes her way inside the house, she suddenly feels like she’s suffocating. Everywhere she looks, she thinks Harrison lived here. Quickly she grabs her phone and her keys, leaving the house and locking the door behind her.
The only thing she can think to do is go to Tom. She doesn’t want to be in that empty house full of Harrison’s things, she wants to escape, so she drives to Tom’s, knowing that he’ll be there for her. He may be Harrison’s best friend, but he was like her best friend too.
As (Y/n) sits in the car outside Tom’s house, that’s when it hits her. Harrison is gone. He’s never coming back. Suddenly, tears start falling and she can’t stop them. She gets out of the car, banging on Tom’s door as she cries.
When Tom opens the door he’s confused, but then one look at (Y/n) and he’s pulling her into his arms, letting her sob into his chest. “He’s g-gone” She manages to whimper out before sobbing harder, gripping Tom’s shirt tightly in her fists.
“Come on love, let’s get inside.” He guides (Y/n) to the couch, sitting down and pulling her down next to him. She leans over into Tom’s side, hugging him as she hides her face in his chest. Tom rubs her back, trying to support her the best he can while also trying to hold himself together.
He holds her as she sobs, rubbing her back until she sobs herself to exhaustion. When Tom hears her breathing slow down and her faint snores he carries her to the guest room, tucking her under the blankets and leaving the room, the door open ajar in case she needs something.
(Y/n) wakes up later on, looking around tiredly. She remembers where she is and why she’s there and closes her eyes, willing herself not to cry again. She glances at the alarm clock on the bedside table next to her and sighs. 10:26 AM. She showed up at Tom’s sometime after 4:30 in the morning, and she doesn’t remember going to the guest room to sleep.
She gets out of bed heads out to the living area of Tom’s flat. Tom is sitting on the couch, a show playing quietly on the tv as his hands are covering his face. As (Y/n) sits on the couch next to him he sniffles, quickly trying to wipe the tears from his eyes.
They both sit in silence for a moment, just thinking about the pain they are both going through. “Thank you, Tom. I’m sorry for coming here so early in the morning, I just didn’t know what to do when the officers came to my door. I looked into our house, and everything there made me think of Harrison. I just..” She breaks off, her voice quiet as she apolagizes.
“Hey, you don’t have to apolagize. I’m glad you came. Stay as long as you need to, love. He was your husband, I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling.” Tom says, holding onto (Y/n)’s hand to assure comfort.
(Y/n) gives him a small smile “You’re in pain too, Tom. He was your best friend, you knew him longer.” Tom goes to protest but she continues “Yes, I may have been married to him, and I know that it’s different, but he was your best friend. It’s okay to be upset Tom, you don’t have to hide it from me.”
She squeezes Tom’s hand, and he looks down, closing his eyes and biting his lip. (Y/n) pulls him into a hug, this time being his shoulder to cry on as he lets out sobs. They both hold onto each other and cry, both of them hurting from losing someone so close to them.
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It’s been three days since the officers showed up at (Y/n)’s door, and she’s been staying at Tom’s the whole time. She’s grateful for Tom letting her stay in the guest room, dreading when she has to go back home.
(Y/n) is walking to the living area when she sees Tom on the couch, his phone up to his ear as he faces the tv, his back to her.
“I’m really worried about her Harry, she doesn’t eat and she gets hardly any sleep at night. She looks so tired and worn out. I don’t know what to do, I just don’t want to upset her. I know she’s hurting emotionally, but she’s also hurting herself.” Tom speaks on the phone. (Y/n) goes back to the guest room, not wanting to eavesdrop on his conversation anymore.
She feels bad for worrying him, she doesn’t want to be burden. She is distracted from her thoughts by her phone ringing. When she checks her phone she doesn’t recognise the number but answers it anyway. “Hello?” She questions into the phone, not sure who it could be.
“Hello, is this Mrs. Osterfield?” A male voice asks, and (Y/n)’s heart drops. She knows they’re calling to say they found her husband’s body.
“Y-yes, I’m (Y/n) Osterfield.” She replies quietly, waiting to hear what he says.
“Mrs. Osterfield, I’m Doctor Johnson from the Hospital by 8th street. Your husband has been transfered here for his care.” The man says and (Y/n) is shocked. She was told he was dead, and now he’s at the hospital? “Hello? Are you still there?” the doctor asks, as she was silent so long the doctor had thought she hung up.
“Yes, I’m still here. Thank you so much. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Her and the doctor exchange goodbyes before (Y/n) hangs up, looking down at her phone.
It takes her a moment to process the doctor’s words; he’s alive, and she can see him again. She shoots up off the bed, running into the living area. “Tom!” She shouts along the way. At the sound of her shout Tom gets up and turns to see her run into the room. She grabs his hands. “He’s alive! Harrison is alive!” She shouts, her eyes lit up with joy and her lips turned up in a huge grin.
“What? What are you talking about?” Tom asks, confusion etched on his face as he looks at (Y/n).
“I just got a call, he’s at the hospital. He’s alive. Will you take me to see him?” She looks up at him hopefully.
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Tom quickly grabs his keys. They go out to the car and Tom drives the way to the hospital. The whole ride (Y/n)’s leg is shaking and she’s anxious the whole time. She feels as if this isn’t real. The past three days she felt like she lost all hope and felt like nothing was the same. And now she was told that Harrison is alive. It almost feels too good to be true.
When they get to the hospital they rush inside. They get the details before making their way to Harrison’s room. As (Y/n) enters the room, she freezes in the doorway. He’s there. He’s alive and she feels as if she’s dreaming.
“Come in, love.” Harrison says, a smile on his face as he sees his wife. (Y/n) rushes over and hugs him tight, crying in relief.
“I thought I’d lost you..” She whimpers out.
“I’m right here, baby. I have some burns and a severly sprained wrist but I’m alive. I’m okay.” He holds her close, kissing her head as he embraces having her so close to him again.
(Y/n) sits on the side of his bed and holds his hands softly in hers. Her tears are still flowing as she looks at the man she loved the most, who she thought she’d never see again. “They.. They told me you were gone... The past three days were torture. I thought you were dead. I couldn’t be at home, I stayed at Tom’s. Everything at home made me think of you.”
Harrison kisses her softly before looking over at his best friend. Tom walks around the other side of the bed and hugs his friend before sitting on the chair next to them. “I told her to stay as long as she needed to. I knew it would have been hard to go back. She really worried me, though. She didn’t eat and she hardly slept at all.”
Harrison looks back over to (Y/n). He cups her cheek softly “You need to take better care of yourself, love. I know you were hurting, but that doesn’t mean you should just give up.”
She looks down and nods “I know. I just felt so lost without you. Please tell me you’re not going back, I don’t want to risk the chance of actually losing you. I can’t go through that again.”
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going back. I’m staying home. Everything will be okay.” He holds her close and looks over at Tom. “Thank you for taking care of her. It really means a lot.”
Tom smiles “Of course, I wasn’t going to turn her away. You guys are my family, I love you guys.”
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Harrison leaves the airforce and spends time at home with (Y/n). He gets a job at a cafe nearby and they both feel happy being able to see each other every day and hold each other.
Three years of him being out of the airforce, and (Y/n) has a little girl. Harrison is grateful to be able to be there, to not miss anything due to being in the airforce. As he holds his daughter, he is grateful for coming home. Harrison can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with his wife and his daughter, and any other family they have in the future.
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The End.
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