I love cadets but recently it's been a chore to turn up. I have no respect from the cadets. I get given every little task to do because the staff know I'll get the job done, but they don't share it out to any of the other NCOs. I have so much to do that I don't know where to start, so rather than even attempting it I just sit back and do nothing. I feel so depressed all the time. Rather than coming home from cadets feeling like I've enjoyed myself I come home feeling worse than I did before I went. Cadets used to be my safe haven, but now I dread going there. A member of staff told me he knows I'll get CWO and he said I was the best cadet he's seen in years, but I feel like such a let down because I can't cope with the responsibility of being a sgt anymore, so how would I cope with such a big job as being a CWO. I'm just so scared of letting people down. I only go so as not to be a disappointment to the staff. It's just not enjoyable anymore. I can feel myself just slipping away. I really can't cope with anything anymore. I feel so pathetic. I'm thinking of handing my stripes in but at the same time I feel like I'll be throwing the trust the the boss has put in me to promote me back in his face. I've only been a cadet for two years and I'm two ranks above some cadets that have been there for four years. I don't want to be a let down. So I've got to keep on plodding on no matter how shit the cadets treat me, and how shit I feel. I'll just have to cope.