rush.
@idohsan , party step two, kcon.
with yujin, she’d gotten tipsy. she’d felt pleasant and bubbly.
with san, she got trashed.
hammered.
she’s worse for wear at this point, her head spinning and her hands like claws where they clutch at her drink, sure it’ll slide right from between her hands with little prompting. a rum and coke that leans heavily on the coke because she’s sure they don’t want them getting too fucked up. joke’s on them, jowi lives to get fucked up. only the distractions keep her sane anymore. or maybe they heighten her decline, hasten it. it’s hard to say. maybe she wants that, wants to rush headlong towards disaster, wants to tempt fate and see if today, at least, things can be turned in her favor.
probably not.
probably she’s just an idiot making mistakes. probably she’s just erratic, just stupid. just addled, with the alcohol in her veins and the stress that permeates her, an ever present demon. jowi drains the rest of her glass and leans her head onto his shoulder. to an observer it would be strange, intimate even, some of the ways that they interact. but for once in her life, and truly only once it seems, with san jowi is able to separate the emotional and the physical. to be truly herself, without feeling the expectation of offering herself in one way or another.
she and san are in a three legged race to the finish line, shackled together and stumbling through the obstacles, worse for wear but unable to stop. so is it a surprise when yujin flutters away into the crowd, she departs to find san. to trade comforting, positive friendship for someone who understands the rot in her chest. something inside her died long ago, and the septic mess spreads in her now, steadily creeping towards decay.
she laughs into his shoulder. nothing’s funny, but its not an amused laugh. a sad laugh maybe. incredulous. or angry. “so,” she says, “saw titanium perform today,” there’s a pause, because if anyone knows what this means for san, what this means to san, it’s jowi. “so lemme buy you a shot. or twenty.”