Wear Your Name Proudly [ Konoha x Reader ]
Request: Fluff with Konohaaaaaaaa we all need it(I feel like u probably know who this is now lmao)
A/N: number 1. i’m too stupid to know who this is 👉👈🥺. number 2.... i guess this could be taken as angst?? but there’s cuddling, mutual trust and taking care of a loved one, and i consider that fluff 👉👈
You knock on the door for the third time in the last few minutes. For the first time, you hear ruffling inside, and slow footsteps approach you.
You and your boyfriend had planned to hang out today after his practise was over, since they were – for once – going to leave early, meaning you could use the rest of your free evening to have a date. He hadn’t texted you by the time practise was meant to be over, but you paid no mind to it, instead deciding to head to his house.
After the first knock, you figured he just wasn’t home. It wasn’t unlikely that they would stay just a little bit longer at the gym if they were finishing a practise match, so you decided to take out your phone and call him.
You heard buzzing inside.
Okay, that’s weird... So you knock again. By the second knock, you wonder if perhaps he left his phone at home, so you decide to text Bokuto and ask if they’re going to take long. He seems confused by your text, and lets you know that practise ended a while ago. You ask if perhaps Konoha had decided to practise a little more, and he tells you he went home before everyone else.
Okay, that’s weird.
Now you’re worried. If he’s home, why isn’t he answering the door? Or his phone? Did something bad happen to him, is he hurt?
Your third knock is a little more assertive, and you have your phone on your hand, ready to call someone if he doesn’t reply this time.
But you heard the ruffling and footsteps, and you immediately relax. He’s okay.
Well... him being okay is arguable. He’s alive, anyway.
“Aki?” Your voice is barely above a whisper, and you’re barely even sure why you’re calling out for him, unable to think of a single thing to say.
He looks exhausted. His hair is ruffled in every possible direction, and you take note of how his eyes are slightly puffier than usual, his nose a little red. He looks... cold, emotionless. The entire house is dark, all blinds and windows closed even though it’s the middle of the day. At first, you wonder if he’s sick. Maybe he caught a cold and tried to go to practise but ended up overworking himself and decided to come home. However, you can see it in his eyes – he’s just going through a bad time.
There are times Konoha gets like this. Despite being a little sarcastic and even provocative with his team, which gives off the impression that he’s always a little mischievous and seldom sad, he tends to hide his pain away most of the time. This results in him exploding at random times, engulfed and overwhelmed by his own worries. By default, he doesn’t call anyone. He deals with it alone, and he’s back to being himself the next day.
It has been a while since the last time you saw him like this. You faintly remember it being about a particular game they lost that really took a toll on them, and he kept ranting about how Bokuto had gotten into one of his moods at the worst possible time – he’s clearly very frustrated about that particular subject, as you’ve come to learn. He loves the guy to death, but it leaves him anxious to know their ace (not to mention captain) could just break at any time during a game when he’s meant to be the rock of the team.
Immediately recognising his mood, you drop your bag and wrap your arms around him, bringing him into a tight hug. He barely moves at all, letting his arms hang by his sides for a few seconds before moving them up hesitantly, wrapping them loosely around your waist. He probably tired himself out crying, and you’re not sure if it’s frustration, anger, or sadness, but it doesn’t matter. You know you need to take care of him today.
The first thing you do is take him to his room. He’s attached to you, but he’s not exactly dead weight. He’s mostly clinging to you desperately, like you’re the only thing currently keeping him together. All things considered, that’s probably not far from the truth, given the current situation. You make sure he lies down on his bed comfortably, pressing a kiss to his forehead in promise of being back soon before heading to the kitchen to brew some tea for him. It helps calm him down to talk over things over a warm beverage, you know that now.
A few minutes later, you’re able to help him sit down just enough for him to take the mug, and he immediately seems to relax from the shift in atmosphere – he doesn’t feel good, you can tell that much, but he seems a little calmer now that he has company.
“I’m sorry.” It pains you that those are the first words to leave him a few moments later – he has nothing to apologise about, and it frustrates you that he would feel the need to.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Aki. I’m here for you, you know that.”
“I ruined our chance to have a date. We probably won’t get any free time for a while.” He has pretty much ignored your reassurance – he doesn’t do it on purpose, he’s just focused on other things, lost in his own head.
You reach forward and gently cup his cheeks, making him lift up his gaze. When he gets into these moods, it’s not rare for him to be looking away, lost in thought while glancing at the floor, zoning out while focusing on a pillow. So you know that you need to snap him out of him from time to time, bring his attention back to you, back to reality.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. We can have more dates in the future, it’s not important. Your well being is more important to me. Right now, and always.” You explain again, this time a little slower, making sure you don’t break eye contact. He needs to hear it, and you need to say it – not because he needs it, but because you mean it.
He freezes for a few seconds, overwhelmed with emotion once again. So used to taking care of his team, it’s likely that he forgets to take care of himself. To have someone else, someone he cares about, do it for him must feel like a dream. He relaxes into your touch, and his eyes close as he takes a sip from the tea, before he’s able to mutter out something again.
“I’m tired of being seen as the weak member of the team.”
This shocks you. You’ve seen their practise multiple times, and not once did you ever think he was the weak member at all. In fact, you can’t think of a single person who would be able to think that; in fact, he’s probably one of the strongest members, even with the whole team being very powerful in general.
“What are you talking about?”
“Everyone thinks I’m weak.”
For a second, you think he’s just exaggerating – not that it would invalidate his feelings, but when we’re stressed we tend to think others think badly of us. However, the way he speaks... He talks like it’s something he has come to accept a while ago, not only during this stressful breakdown. It sounds like he has been told that before, and it makes you feel uneasy. Was the team perhaps being unfair to him? You couldn’t imagine such a thing, but...
You don’t have much time to wonder before he speaks up again.
“I don’t know, I think- I thought I was pretty good, but they just don’t agree. I’m tired of that stupid nickname. I get it, I’m not fucking perfect at anything, I’m not a perfect setter like Akaashi nor a perfect spiker like Bokuto, but I’m trying. I’m really, really trying Y/N.”
It clicks.
You know exactly what he’s talking about. Through the years, the team had given him a nickname – you can’t remember exactly, but it’s something along the lines of ‘Jack of all trades, master of none’. Like that popular saying. You believe it happened overtime, as he consistently showed his ability to take on any position just fine, even subbing in for Akaashi once when the time called for it. You know the team doesn’t mean any harm, but you never thought about how much it affects Konoha himself.
“I get that I can’t be the best at any of the positions, and I get that it’s ridiculous. I can’t just be a very good setter, a very good spiker, a very good libero, I can’t be a very good anything. I’m just average in all of the options. But why do they have to keep reminding me of that? I get it, I set the ball when Akaashi couldn’t reach today, but why do they need to remind me that it doesn’t work for me?” He’s getting more agitated as he speaks, likely as he recalls the events of today’s practise. You stay quiet, allowing him to vent, to let go of what’s bothering him.
“ ‘Ah, Jack strikes again!’ I’m sick of it. Why do they have to word it like that? I get it, I’m going out of my way, and I’m not even that good at what I do originally, but just- why? Why do you have to keep telling me that?” He seems to be done talking. He brings his hands up to his hair, roughly tugging at it before covering his face, the tea long forgotten on the table next to him.
You understand. You never thought about it before, but you definitely understand. So, setting your tea down as well, you gently shove his shoulder. He’s pliant under your touch, trusting, expecting you to know how to help him, believing you can help him. You lie him down again and climb on the bed behind him, attaching yourself to his back immediately. He relaxes, melting into the warmth you bring, and his breath starts getting regular again.
“I think you’re misunderstanding. It’s not an insult at all, Aki.” He tenses up, but doesn’t speak. He’s willing to listen, even if he’s already objecting and formulating other possibilities in his head, other ways it has been used as an insult. You don’t give him the time to go into detail, speaking up once more in a gentle voice.
“Granted, it’s a nickname that bothers you, and that’s something worth bringing up with them. However, I’m sure everyone means it in the most flattering way possible. You know that saying continues, right?” That seems to peak his interest, because he’s shoving you away gently, only enough for him to turn around and face you. True to his name, any cuddling position works just fine for him, but he does have a preference for the ones he can see you.
You bring him in closer, allowing him to rest his head on your chest. You’re taking care of him today, and you want to show it through actions just as much as words.
“Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than master of one. That’s how the saying goes. It’s a compliment. You’re a generalist more than a specialist, meaning you’re better at resolving issues than someone who’s very good in a specific department. You’re versatile and able to think on the spot, instead of being stuck to your element.”
He seems to tense up a little at that as well, but this time it’s different. It’s not a pained tensing up, not a worried or anxious one, but more of a realisation. He realises that it could be interpreted like that as well, and fears he might have let his insecurities get the better of him. His grip around you tightens, and you wrap your arms even harder around him, a quiet promise that you’re protecting him.
“Do you know why you have such a good team, with such amazing specialist players? Because you’re there. If you’re there, they can focus on getting better and better on their own position, knowing they always have you. You always have everyone’s backs, Aki. You have Bokuto’s back when he’s being blocked, you have Akaashi’s back when he had to touch the ball first during a receive, and you have everyone’s back when Bokuto goes crazy and they need to depend on you to score. It’s because they have such an amazing generalist on their team that they can focus on being specialists. You’re their most important player. You keep the team together.”
By now, you can tell he’s crying. You don’t think you’ve really said all that much, but it must be very important for him to hear this. He has likely been doubting himself for quite some time, so it must be reassuring to be praised. It must be hard; Konoha is extremely into volleyball, and sometimes he gets really competitive. If he thought that nickname was used as an insult to tell him he wasn’t as good as the others on the team who excel at what they do, it must have really hurt him. You wish he had brought this up with you sooner.
No other words are exchanged between the two of you about the topic; you keep him close to you, gently combing through his hair in hopes of calming down his sobs, which now have gotten louder. He’s letting them pour out, and it’s for the best – his frustrations, his shame, his anger, they’re all pouring out with them, being instead replaced by confidence, understanding, and pride. He should wear the nickname proudly, because that’s the only way his team would ever mean it. He knows it, of course, knows they would never insult him in such a way, but sometimes he can get too much into his own head.
That’s where you come in. Your gentle touches and kind words are a silent promise of help, of compromise to him, to always be with him and help him through this. In the same way he helps you through your own issues.
At the end of the day, you two have each other, and will always have each other.
So you remain quiet, basking in each other’s presence, lucky to be together. Lucky to be able to count on one another, thankful for the time you’re allowed to spend by the other’s side, grateful for the wonderful memories you’re able to create.
And another day goes by, and you both end up sleeping the problems away.
When Konoha shows up confident the next day, now laughing along at the mentions of the nickname, nobody seems to notice.
But as you sit and watch them practise, you know. He has changed again, grown to accept himself even a little more, and you were there to see it.
And you sit there, hoping you’ll get to see it again.