synopsis: konoha learns to stay, even if it isn't as exciting anymore.
wc: 400+ | prfr
warning/s: none | genre: fluff
konoha akinori never felt content. he thinks it's not him, it's just his bad luck with people and relationships. he's been in a number of relationships, ones that he hopes that'll never be not interesting but they always do. the flame flickers, and the happiness gets blown away with it.
at some point, he thinks that love never really lasts. the spark always leaves, and then it'll end. even if he says he'll never get into one again, he'll find himself coming back and looking for someone who he can always keep the light aflame.
and unfortunately, he doesn't. not even in you.
your eyes shut softly, lashes touching your undereyes. your breaths are slow and stable, and so is your heart beat.
boring.
it's boring to watch you sleep, konoha thinks.
there's nothing interesting with you sleeping, yet everytime he looks to his phone, his eyes walk home to you.
akinori lifts his hand close to your cheek. he's reluctant, afraid to wake you up.
you're better awake since he actually has someone to talk to, he thinks.
but akinori's stuck in a paradox.
a knuckle grazes over your cheek, and his face is already glowing pink. his fingers feel your breath, warm.
he scans your sleeping face, the most relaxed state he ever sees you. he'd always see you as if you were getting chased by dogs, so now, he keeps as quiet as he can to let you rest.
it makes him think again. what—why am i doing this?
he swallows, hesitant to pull his hand away from you. in the end, he does pull away, only to reposition his hand and caress your face, half of which filled and fit his hand perfectly like a mold.
he's sucked in his stomach and is holding his breath, trying so, so, hard not to handle you a little too roughly.
he doesn't realize that he's running out of breath until you open your eyes, first making their way to his as your hands creep up and the tips of your fingers meet the back if his hand.
"hey," he gulps and blinks twice.
he only gets a hum as a response, and your hand squeezing his and pressing it a little closer to your cheek for more warmth.
you turn, and sleep again holding his hand.
yeah, it's boring, he smiles.
his past relationships were all dull and so was this.
but akinori stays, because as boring as this was, he still feels joy.
A/N: Hi bestie, yes i’ve got you! This is my second request so I am very excited ^^
Genre: angst, established-relationship!AU
Warnings: cheating, lying, kinda toxic boyfriend
Pairings: Konoha x f!reader, cheater!Konoha x girlfriend!reader
Requested by: @yyvveess
Main Masterlist
There had been moments in your relationship that really tested the strength of the bond you created over time. Especially with volleyball.
You understand how important it is to the boys, and that it would not function without any of them, but when volleyball started affecting your relationship, that’s when you drew the line.
After school, you waited patiently at the front gates for your boyfriend who has been MIA this whole day. Usually you have lunch with him and his teammates along with your friend Tilly, an exchange student who was currently trying to befriend Akashi.
However, you and Tilly ate alone as she pouted.
“I get it,” she says trying to convince herself, “really, I do. Bokuto and Akashi have been friends for a long time and he respects him, but I just kind of wish he’d stop running to him whenever he would get himself into tough spots.”
You understand where she’s coming from, but you can’t really share the same sentiment as you aren’t fighting with Bokuto for Akashi’s time. You’re really just fighting with a sport, that alone tells you you’ve already lost.
“I can’t imagine how you must feel, though.” You turn your head to the side in confusion. “I mean that you’re already dating him, you guys are in love or whatever, and he still doesn’t try hard enough to make time for you?”
You’ve never thought of it like that before. In the beginning of your relationship, he would always be doting and loving, always asking you to come their practice, always keeping you in the loop of what was going on. You don’t want him to report to you 24/7, but even a loving text reminding you that you’re his favorite person every now and then wouldn’t hurt.
You haven’t talked to him about it until now because you’ve been afraid that your relationship has failed before you can fix it.
He gives you a little wave as he walks towards you, and a smile so bright it hurts. How can he be ok when all of these thoughts are swimming in your head.
“Hello beautiful girl.” He kisses your cheek and pulls you to him. “I’ve missed you.”
You scoff and shake your head. “If you’ve missed me so much then why haven’t you looked for me?”
Konoha smiles sadly and cups your face. “I’m sorry, I know I’ve been unfair, but here!” He hands you the painting he made in his art class. “It’s a chrysanthemum. I remember you read it in a book and that you fell in love with the meaning of them.”
You swoon at the sentiment and how thoughtful your boyfriend is. “Yea, this is beautiful ‘Nori, thank you. I love it.”
“No problem, beautiful. I love you.” He kisses the top of your head. “I’m sorry for being so absent, but I promise today I’m all yours and once the seasons over, we’ll be together so much you’ll get sick of me.”
You laugh and punch him lightly on the side, excited to pass the time with him.
.
.
.
It has been a month since then, and you’ve been feeling lonelier than ever. He still invites you to watch them practice, but sometimes he tells you not to come because coach would get mad, or that Bokuto wasn’t in a mood for people to watch him.
The latter made absolutely no sense because you and Bokuto got along splendidly, and he loved having people watch him and praise him. It was one of the few things that would get him out of his emo mode.
You decide not to pry, instead, you make them a nice to-go dinner with Tilly’s help. Akashi actually texted you to come, saying the boys needed some cheering up. Tilly was happy to see them after not seeing them in so long so she was a ton of help.
When you got to the school, the sun was going down, you and Tilly carrying the food in bags when Akashi shows up outside to help you.
Before you step inside, he stops walking and looks at you with a pained expression. “What?” You asked, a little nervous by the look he had on his face.
“I’m sorry.” He continued in with Tilly asking him about his day. You shook your head and made your way inside, placing the food in the bleachers.
You’re honestly glad you weren’t holding anything, because if you were, you probably would’ve dropped it when your eyes landed on the sight.
Your boyfriend was spinning some girl around in his arms, she was laughing, they were dancing without a care in the world, something you two used to do. This still could have been a misunderstanding, but no one could misunderstand the way he kissed the top of her head. When he did so he told her he loved her and that she can’t imagine life with out him.
In the moment, you were one- utterly humiliated that his whole team knew and were reeling over telling you about it. They all looked at you with pity and you hated it. Akashi had been telling Bokuto that he needed to tell you ASAP, and Bokuto was all for it, but Konoha told them- no, promised them that he would be the one to tell you. And they believed him.
Two months go by, and the boys hadn’t seen you in a while so they though he had told you, but when Akashi asked Tilly how you were, she had no idea what he was talking about. You looked great and you were doing well in every way you can be.
Two- you were completely, undeniably, painstakingly heartbroken. How do you spend a year with someone, and do something like that? How do you explain to him how much you loved him and how much this is. breaking down everything you’ve built together.
It didn’t take long for him to notice your retreating figure, but it was long enough that you were already at the gym doors. He looks at his teammates, beyond upset for bringing you here, not realizing that it’s all his fault.
“Y/n and Tilly brought us food,” Bokuto says sternly. “It might be all gone by the time you get back.” Knowing Bokuto, he would stuff himself silly trying to make sure there’s nothing left for Konoha, and Akashi would help him no doubt. The whole Fukurodani team would help him.
Konoha ran to catch up to you, and he did right as you got to the gates, where you met him countless times. He grabs your arm, turning you to him, but he almost wishes he didn’t.
There are unshed tears that immediately fall from your face and you swipe away at them. He doesn’t really know what to say, he knows nothing is going to help him, but he doesn’t want to lose you entirely. “I’m sorry.”
You laugh at his apology. “That’s great, really.” As much as you want to hate him and spit in his face, he’s still the person you fell in love with, nothings changed except for the fact that he doesn’t want you anymore. “Why weren’t you honest? You-you could have just told me you didn’t love me anymore.”
“I do love you, y/n.” He takes your hands. “I love-”
“If you loved me as much as you claim to, then why would you do that?” He stays quiet. “You think that wouldn’t bother me? Or that I would be ok with it? Are you insane?!”
He has never heard you yell, much less be so upset with him you’re practically shaking. “I know, I fucked up, y/n. I promise we can go back to how we were- I can’t just lose you, I can’t-”
“No. You listen.” Maybe you were sad earlier, but that was completely replaced with disappointment and anger. “I am going home. Tomorrow I’m giving you your shit back, then I really hope I don’t see you for the rest of the year- the rest of my life. Fuck. You.”
You turn around and march your way home, eager to get away from the pain growing in your chest. Everything was all a lie and you’ve never felt more stupid than now.
Konoha makes his way back to the gym, the girl he was with still waiting for him. He just sighs and points to the door. “Get the fuck out.” She angrily stomps towards him and slaps him across the face before leaving. The team turns to him, eyeing him warily before going back to what they were doing.
Bokuto shoves one last spoonful of rice -despite Akashi’s protest- in his mouth before turning towards Konoha. “There’s no more food left.” Konoha nods and sits on the bleachers, wondering how he could have fucked up so bad.
When you get home you start throwing everything he gave you, everything that reminded you of him into a garbage bag. The last thing that was left was the painting of the chrysanthemum. Life is cruel and the painting was a lie, you also threw that in a bag ripping it in two.
You run up to your boyfriend who is currently seated up against a tree. “Hello beautiful.” He kisses your cheek as you settle in between his legs.
“I read a really good book today ‘Nori.” You say, clutching the book to your chest.
He hums wrapping his arms around you. “Does it have pictures in it?”
You laugh and hit his side. “It actually has one.” You turn to the page in your book. You get why the author chose to display this rather than describe it. NO amount of words would do it justice. “There.”
The two of you look at a beautiful yellow flower in full bloom, Konoha thinks it kind of looks like an ice cream scoop. “What is it?” He asks
“It’s a chrysanthemum.” You tell him.
Konoha snorts and you punch his arm. “What does it mean?”
Hi! Can I please make a request for Konoha?? Can it be super angsty where y/n is a second year and have been a Fukurodani manager since first year and he’s had a crush on them since they first showed up. Him and y/n are super close but he knows Akaashi or someone else on the team. He constantly puts their feelings above his own, listening to them ramble about their crush to him even tho it hurts him because he’s scared of rejection. One day he tells y/n to confess and they get rejected and he has to comfort them. The ending is up to you, angst or fluff. (Also can you make y/n super short like 4’9??? Oh and any pronouns are fine it doesn’t have to be gender neutral)
‘lost’ konoha akinori ft akaashi keiji.
a/n : so i kinda put my own twist on this, i hope that’s okay! if you like please support by reblogging and liking.
warnings : angst, love triangle, mild swearing, me not proof reading.
“you’re still going on about that short stack?” konoha grinned as you gushed over akaashi, of course deep down it stung. everytime he had made you smile the silver haired boy swore he could feel his heart breaking but for you, his bestfriend, of course he would put on a brave face.
besides, it was inevitable that the two of you would meet the second you had taken on the role as fukurodani’s manager in first year. konoha slightly regrets pushing you to take on the position, he had thought it would allow the two of you to spend more time together but instead it practically secured your position in akaashi’s arms.
what made things worse is he could never bring himself to hate the setter, he was an amazing friend and teammate, he was smart, handsome and funny, it was definitely understandable why you were so infatuated with him. regardless, akaashi had never even known about his crush on you so it wasn’t even like he was violating the bro code or anything.
“it’s hard to stop when he looks that good.” you leaned back slightly on your chair, you and konoha were at the back of the classroom observing the scene in front of you which was quite literally akaashi being perfect, as usual.
“you really like him huh?” he turned to you raising an eyebrow. he hated the way he had to sound so encouraging as if he ever wanted you to be with someone else. it was something he almost couldn’t stand to see but you deserved to be happy and what kind of bestfriend would he be if he stood in the way of that. “have you been head over heels for him this entire year?” amusement was laced in his voice now, but he wasn’t laughing, none of this was even slightly funny.
“no uhh, i liked someone before but i don’t think he liked me back.” you chuckled awkwardly missing the way konoha scowled.
great, he thought. not only did you like one boy but two and neither of them were him.
wrong — he’s wrong but he doesn’t know that, he doesn’t know how it was him that you liked. but he was your bestfriend. how could you put him in such a position where he probably didn’t want to be in. if he liked you he would’ve obviously said it by now right? there was no way you would risk your friendship with him, the single most important person in the world. it hurt back then but you had to bury those feelings. akaashi always seemed to be there to help with that.
“he didn’t like you back? what an idiot.” konoha snickered. little did they know, you both thought.
“well the past is the past right? why don’t you confess to akaashi? you’ve been talking about him for quite a while now.” as the words tumbled out of his mouth he felt sick to his stomach, but he needed to see you happy, he had to. your wellbeing was far more important than his, if akaashi could make you smile then that’s all he needed to know he was telling you the right thing.
oh.. you were right about konoha not liking you back, you thought. otherwise why would he push you to confess to akaashi. you were being dumb, seriously dumb. this was embarrassing .. did you seriously think all this gushing over akaashi would make your bestfriend realise his feelings for you? that’s right, he doesn’t have feelings for you. otherwise why was he pushing you in the arms of another man.
anyways maybe he was right, maybe you should march up to akaashi instead, he was a great guy and he was sure to treat you right.
“right now?” you cocked your eyebrow, your face whipping to face your bestfriend as your cheeks flushed in nervousness.
“might as well, go on.” he bit back the longing feeling to tell you how much he loved you since the two of you had first met, how he never wanted to see you with akaashi, how he wanted you in his arms more than anything. he was a coward, one who was afraid of ruining your friendship, and he hated himself for it.
“wish me luck.” you took a deep breath before approaching the setter, your bestfriend behind you watching eagle-eyed.
“akaashi?” he looked up at the sound of his name, a smile etching onto his lips the moment he realised it was you. suddenly, you had his full and undivided attention which was not an easy feet to achieve. it was clear to anyone who had two pairs of eyes how much akaashi favoured you, the only other people he really held to the same standard of friendship was his teammates.
“y/n, don’t tell me you didn’t do the homework again.” he chuckled as he pulled out a seat for you to sit on. “what a gentleman.” konoha muttered seeing the twinkle in your expression at his simple action.
“no i— i want to tell you something.” you fiddled with your fingers, you weren’t usually this shy. in fact with akaashi you almost never were. in all honesty in the time you had known him you had been quite snarky, not to say he didn’t like it. maybe that was one of the reasons he had found you so entertaining. many times the setter could be quiet himself, it was always fun having someone different around. much like him and bokuto.
so when your expression changed and your body language shifted awkwardly he definitely picked up on it. especially the way you refused to make eye contact.
“is something wrong? you know y/n if you’ve gotten yourself in any kind of trouble i’m here to help.” he brought your hands in his searching for any clue of your next words in your eyes.
“that’s not it— it’s just that.. akaashi, i like you. and not just as friends but in a romantic way.” you were talking so fast that if he wasn’t listening so attentively he would’ve missed half the words you were saying.
at your confession his eyes shifted to konoha for a split second at the back of the classroom. it was so quick that the silver hair boy hadn’t even realised but keiji had caught the expression on his face. the one of heartbreak and longing. to him, it was obvious how much the two of you liked eachother so he was almost taken aback by this entire ordeal. and why was konoha just watching? why wasn’t he stopping you? to make matters even worse akaashi had feelings for you too, so.. what would his next move be?
“y/n... i’m sorry but i don’t think i can maintain a relationship right now, you know with volleyball and classes it’s ju—“
“it’s okay akaashi.” you cut him off quickly not wanting to hear the next words and feel them sting your chest. “you don’t have to explain yourself.. i— i’m sorry.” you stood up leaving the classroom calmly. no one would even be able to tell that anything was wrong, except your bestfriend of course who was watching with a whole new anger flearing up inside him. of course he couldn’t force akaashi to like you back but the fact that he had pushed you to confess which just resulted in you getting your heart trampled on really made him want to.
“what the hell man?” konoha marched up to him, his hands coming down onto the table with a firm grip. “why did you reject her? it’s obvious that you like her.” he grit his teeth searching the setters face for any remorse.
“you don’t understand.” akaashi’s expression remained the same as usual and it was grinding konoha’s gears. couldn’t he see what he was doing to you?
“there’s nothing to understand—“ he was cut off by keiji’s stoic tone. “she’s your bestfriend right? you should go after her.” he sighed closing his textbook as he moved to walk away.
“don’t say it like that man, don’t pretend she’s not your friend too, doesn’t she matter to you?” konoha grabbed onto the setters sleeve stopping him from leaving.
akaashi can admit, he was shocked by this action, it was obvious how much he liked you but was he really prepared to start a fight over it, much less with his own friend? he was right when he said that konoha didn’t understand. he was right when he said that he liked you but akaashi couldn’t help but think about how selfish it was for him to have you all to himself while your bestfriend loved you. and as much as you pretended you didn’t you loved him back.
“it’s raining outside and she’s going to get a cold if she goes out there, so go after her.” he brushed your bestfriends hand away with a scoff. maybe one day the both of you would get it.
konoha let go turning to the doors which led into the outdoor school courtyard. raining was an understatement. it was pouring right now and he couldn’t help but wonder how you were bearing out here with your school skirt and knee high socks.
“y/n..” he spotted you, head held low in shame, sitting on a bench under the foul weather as if there was nothing but sunshine in the desolate sky. “i didn’t know that would happen-“
“i don’t wanna talk right now.” you sighed bringing yourself to face him.
“i know but you can’t stay out here.” he moved closer allowing himself to drape his jacket over your shoulders. it wouldn’t do much help since you were already drenched but he couldn’t stand the sight of you wallowing in pity. plus whether you cared to acknowledge it or not it was pretty cosy, well it should be considering it was a few sizes too big for you.
first konoha, now akaashi.. you ought to stop falling for guys who don’t share the same feelings you do about them. something about this rejection hurt more than you had expected it too. maybe it’s because you felt the rejection of both of them in akaashi’s words. the realisation that not only one, but two dont like you back. you had never had that heart wrenching moment with konoha but now here it was, even if it wasn’t his words it all hurt the same.
double heartbreak huh? how tragic.
but you could be better than this, you could get over them both.. granted you would need a some time. seeing them during practice all the time probably wouldn’t help but you could power through if you wanted to. there was no point sitting here crying on a bench when the only person here to comfort you was one of the reasons you were hurting so bad.
“i don’t want this.” you slipped off his jacket handing it back to him. “i’m sick of feeling like this i just— i really thought — i don’t even know.. i’m an idiot.” you chuckled bitterly.
“what are you saying? you’re not an idi-“
“i’m sorry konoha but i think — i think i want some time alone.” your words came out shaky and uneven, it was getting harder and harder to keep your composure and even he was noticing it.
“time alone? you’re not in your right mind how long would you even want to be alone for..” he said while trying to shove his jacket back over you but you pulled away every time. he doesn’t even know the affect he has on you huh.. he’s just trying to be a good friend. nothing more. nothing less.
“permanently.” you finally stood, this time you would choose yourself.
and there he stood unmoving, konoha with the most broken expression on his face, if it wasn’t for the rain you would’ve maybe noticed the tear that escaped his eyes. he could barely process the word you had just said as you walked away slowly while he stood there, frozen. he wanted nothing more than to call out to you but his voice was nonexistent, it felt like his windpipe was closing in on him, without you he couldn’t breathe.
while all you could think was of course he didn’t come after me, he doesn’t care that much.. just a friend nothing more nothing less.
when he finally regained his senses the most he could do was fall back onto the bench you once sat on. akaashi that idiot, how could he not see what was right in front of him.. the perfect girl. he gritted his teeth at the thought. akaashi was an idiot.
meanwhile he didn’t notice the setter staring at the whole ordeal through the window proclaiming the same thing about him. why didn’t he just confess his feelings? how could he be so stupid.
and you, so blind to the truth had just cut off the two people who considered your feelings the most.. who was the biggest fool? it was impossible to decide.
hello! could i request an unrequited love scenario for bokuto? where reader has been bestfriends with him since childhood but he doesn't see her more than that. then idk konoha (or whichever chara u like) helps her move on so they end up together instead (to make it less painful wjwnsnd)
better or worse
who: bokuto x gn!reader, konoha x gn!reader
what: angst
plot: bokuto’s a good friend — the best friend anyone could ask for. it’s just not what you asked for.
wc: 1,050
a/n: i nearly cried while writing this. thank u for this request
{ hq sfw taglist — tell me if you want to be added or taken off: @yamxgucci }
{ angst sfw taglist — tell me if you want to be added or taken off: @daisukissed }
“If you’re scared of anything then you can hold my hand!”
Bokuto said it so simply — as if it was the obvious choice. And at that age, it was. So you took his hand and let him defend and lead you through all his childish adventures, through your childhood, through middle school, and through high school. The whole time you held his hand up until you said you couldn’t.
He knew why and it pained him to see you hurting, but he didn’t know how to help. You explained it to him before, but that didn’t tell him what to do.
How is he supposed to hold your hand when he’s the one hurting you?
Bokuto and you have been side by side for as long as each of you can remember. Just for laughs, he’d recall the days where you and he would see who could hang off the monkey bars the longest. He’d remind you of the summers you two spent on his porch eating watermelon, where your legs were just barely long enough that your feet no longer dangled over the edge. He’d bring up the first time you introduced him to volleyball and he cried because you hit him in the face really hard with the ball. He’d talk about those nights in his second year of high school where you and his volleyball team would see who could eat the most after they had just won a game.
He loves all the moments he spent with you, but there are some he learned not to talk about.
When he mentioned the year in middle school that he got Valentine chocolates from some secret admirer and he gave them away because he didn’t care for the holiday, you didn’t laugh.
When he retold the story of how he swore he’d never go to a school festival with a date but got dragged there by Sakurai Momoe and had his first kiss, you didn’t laugh.
When he brought up the time he got dumped by his first high school girlfriend and you cheered him up with the worst movie you both had ever seen and some video games, you cried.
He can be dense at times, but he knows when he’s hurt his best friend. He just never understood why. But how could he?
Maybe they sent the chocolates? Or they’re upset that they didn’t get any that year.
Y/N’s parents wouldn’t let them attend the school festival that year, so I shouldn’t bring up something they wanted to go to.
I thought the movie part was funny, but now I remember that my Y/N and my ex never got along for some reason.
The signs may have been obvious to some, but Bokuto never saw them. He tried — he really did. He asked you about each time, seeking affirmation that he was right. Sometimes you said yes, other times you elaborated to make his explanations more clear. And once he was informed he never brought them up again for your sake.
He never liked seeing you hurt.
But somehow it was like you got hurt more and more as he spent time with you. And when the cherry blossom festival came around, he finally realized.
“Quit holding my hand like that. Your hands are clammy,” you griped, yanking your hand away from his while he once again led you through another adventure underneath the pink and white branches hanging over you.
“I can wipe them off,” he proposed, already in the act of doing so. You still didn’t let him take your hand, which bothered him. You had become so guarded around him and he didn’t understand. It was your third year of high school — after that, you two wouldn’t ever see each other again. He had told you the previous year that he wanted to do everything on his Third Year Bucket List with you, so he didn’t understand your reluctance at the time.
“C’mon, Y/N, we have to ride the paddle boat!” You didn’t have the same gusto as him, but you went along anyway. And finally, he asked what was going on with you. He felt like he should’ve seen that answer coming. If your actions weren’t a sign, the romantic setting turning oddly dark should have been.
“I’ve been in love with you for years now, Bokuto. But I know you don’t feel the same.”
He didn’t know what to say to you after that. Being who he is, he said the first thing he thought was appropriate. “Well, you don’t have to stay in love with me, right? We’re friends — always have been and always will be. I think that’s the best thing in the world.”
It sounded nice enough at the time, and he thought things seemed normal enough. But suddenly after the two of you graduated he noticed your friendship change. You two had gone to different schools — maybe that was part of it. That never stopped him from texting or calling you or sending you posts on Instagram. If anything, the distance made his heart grow fonder.
He shared his achievements with you and during school breaks, he made an effort to meet up with you if you were both at home. Your second year of university during summer break was the last time he saw you — the last time you two shared watermelon on his back porch with your elbows propped on your knees and feet in the grass.
Did he feel like he lost a best friend? Maybe a little. He wondered if you felt the same, better or worse. And years later he got his answer.
A wedding invitation. Not from you — from his old high school teammate Akinori Konoha and soon-to-be Akinori Y/N. Like any best friend, he attended the wedding with gifts and smiles, writing his name in the guest book proudly and sitting beside Akaashi during it all.
Did you feel like you lost a best friend? Did you feel better? Did you feel worse? He hadn’t thought about that question in years and wrote it off as stupid. That didn’t matter now — everything happens for a reason and he’s here now seeing you at the happiest he’s ever seen.
Request: Fluff with Konohaaaaaaaa we all need it(I feel like u probably know who this is now lmao)
A/N: number 1. i’m too stupid to know who this is 👉👈🥺. number 2.... i guess this could be taken as angst?? but there’s cuddling, mutual trust and taking care of a loved one, and i consider that fluff 👉👈
You knock on the door for the third time in the last few minutes. For the first time, you hear ruffling inside, and slow footsteps approach you.
You and your boyfriend had planned to hang out today after his practise was over, since they were – for once – going to leave early, meaning you could use the rest of your free evening to have a date. He hadn’t texted you by the time practise was meant to be over, but you paid no mind to it, instead deciding to head to his house.
After the first knock, you figured he just wasn’t home. It wasn’t unlikely that they would stay just a little bit longer at the gym if they were finishing a practise match, so you decided to take out your phone and call him.
You heard buzzing inside.
Okay, that’s weird... So you knock again. By the second knock, you wonder if perhaps he left his phone at home, so you decide to text Bokuto and ask if they’re going to take long. He seems confused by your text, and lets you know that practise ended a while ago. You ask if perhaps Konoha had decided to practise a little more, and he tells you he went home before everyone else.
Okay, that’s weird.
Now you’re worried. If he’s home, why isn’t he answering the door? Or his phone? Did something bad happen to him, is he hurt?
Your third knock is a little more assertive, and you have your phone on your hand, ready to call someone if he doesn’t reply this time.
But you heard the ruffling and footsteps, and you immediately relax. He’s okay.
Well... him being okay is arguable. He’s alive, anyway.
“Aki?” Your voice is barely above a whisper, and you’re barely even sure why you’re calling out for him, unable to think of a single thing to say.
He looks exhausted. His hair is ruffled in every possible direction, and you take note of how his eyes are slightly puffier than usual, his nose a little red. He looks... cold, emotionless. The entire house is dark, all blinds and windows closed even though it’s the middle of the day. At first, you wonder if he’s sick. Maybe he caught a cold and tried to go to practise but ended up overworking himself and decided to come home. However, you can see it in his eyes – he’s just going through a bad time.
There are times Konoha gets like this. Despite being a little sarcastic and even provocative with his team, which gives off the impression that he’s always a little mischievous and seldom sad, he tends to hide his pain away most of the time. This results in him exploding at random times, engulfed and overwhelmed by his own worries. By default, he doesn’t call anyone. He deals with it alone, and he’s back to being himself the next day.
It has been a while since the last time you saw him like this. You faintly remember it being about a particular game they lost that really took a toll on them, and he kept ranting about how Bokuto had gotten into one of his moods at the worst possible time – he’s clearly very frustrated about that particular subject, as you’ve come to learn. He loves the guy to death, but it leaves him anxious to know their ace (not to mention captain) could just break at any time during a game when he’s meant to be the rock of the team.
Immediately recognising his mood, you drop your bag and wrap your arms around him, bringing him into a tight hug. He barely moves at all, letting his arms hang by his sides for a few seconds before moving them up hesitantly, wrapping them loosely around your waist. He probably tired himself out crying, and you’re not sure if it’s frustration, anger, or sadness, but it doesn’t matter. You know you need to take care of him today.
The first thing you do is take him to his room. He’s attached to you, but he’s not exactly dead weight. He’s mostly clinging to you desperately, like you’re the only thing currently keeping him together. All things considered, that’s probably not far from the truth, given the current situation. You make sure he lies down on his bed comfortably, pressing a kiss to his forehead in promise of being back soon before heading to the kitchen to brew some tea for him. It helps calm him down to talk over things over a warm beverage, you know that now.
A few minutes later, you’re able to help him sit down just enough for him to take the mug, and he immediately seems to relax from the shift in atmosphere – he doesn’t feel good, you can tell that much, but he seems a little calmer now that he has company.
“I’m sorry.” It pains you that those are the first words to leave him a few moments later – he has nothing to apologise about, and it frustrates you that he would feel the need to.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Aki. I’m here for you, you know that.”
“I ruined our chance to have a date. We probably won’t get any free time for a while.” He has pretty much ignored your reassurance – he doesn’t do it on purpose, he’s just focused on other things, lost in his own head.
You reach forward and gently cup his cheeks, making him lift up his gaze. When he gets into these moods, it’s not rare for him to be looking away, lost in thought while glancing at the floor, zoning out while focusing on a pillow. So you know that you need to snap him out of him from time to time, bring his attention back to you, back to reality.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. We can have more dates in the future, it’s not important. Your well being is more important to me. Right now, and always.” You explain again, this time a little slower, making sure you don’t break eye contact. He needs to hear it, and you need to say it – not because he needs it, but because you mean it.
He freezes for a few seconds, overwhelmed with emotion once again. So used to taking care of his team, it’s likely that he forgets to take care of himself. To have someone else, someone he cares about, do it for him must feel like a dream. He relaxes into your touch, and his eyes close as he takes a sip from the tea, before he’s able to mutter out something again.
“I’m tired of being seen as the weak member of the team.”
This shocks you. You’ve seen their practise multiple times, and not once did you ever think he was the weak member at all. In fact, you can’t think of a single person who would be able to think that; in fact, he’s probably one of the strongest members, even with the whole team being very powerful in general.
“What are you talking about?”
“Everyone thinks I’m weak.”
For a second, you think he’s just exaggerating – not that it would invalidate his feelings, but when we’re stressed we tend to think others think badly of us. However, the way he speaks... He talks like it’s something he has come to accept a while ago, not only during this stressful breakdown. It sounds like he has been told that before, and it makes you feel uneasy. Was the team perhaps being unfair to him? You couldn’t imagine such a thing, but...
You don’t have much time to wonder before he speaks up again.
“I don’t know, I think- I thought I was pretty good, but they just don’t agree. I’m tired of that stupid nickname. I get it, I’m not fucking perfect at anything, I’m not a perfect setter like Akaashi nor a perfect spiker like Bokuto, but I’m trying. I’m really, really trying Y/N.”
It clicks.
You know exactly what he’s talking about. Through the years, the team had given him a nickname – you can’t remember exactly, but it’s something along the lines of ‘Jack of all trades, master of none’. Like that popular saying. You believe it happened overtime, as he consistently showed his ability to take on any position just fine, even subbing in for Akaashi once when the time called for it. You know the team doesn’t mean any harm, but you never thought about how much it affects Konoha himself.
“I get that I can’t be the best at any of the positions, and I get that it’s ridiculous. I can’t just be a very good setter, a very good spiker, a very good libero, I can’t be a very good anything. I’m just average in all of the options. But why do they have to keep reminding me of that? I get it, I set the ball when Akaashi couldn’t reach today, but why do they need to remind me that it doesn’t work for me?” He’s getting more agitated as he speaks, likely as he recalls the events of today’s practise. You stay quiet, allowing him to vent, to let go of what’s bothering him.
“ ‘Ah, Jack strikes again!’ I’m sick of it. Why do they have to word it like that? I get it, I’m going out of my way, and I’m not even that good at what I do originally, but just- why? Why do you have to keep telling me that?” He seems to be done talking. He brings his hands up to his hair, roughly tugging at it before covering his face, the tea long forgotten on the table next to him.
You understand. You never thought about it before, but you definitely understand. So, setting your tea down as well, you gently shove his shoulder. He’s pliant under your touch, trusting, expecting you to know how to help him, believing you can help him. You lie him down again and climb on the bed behind him, attaching yourself to his back immediately. He relaxes, melting into the warmth you bring, and his breath starts getting regular again.
“I think you’re misunderstanding. It’s not an insult at all, Aki.” He tenses up, but doesn’t speak. He’s willing to listen, even if he’s already objecting and formulating other possibilities in his head, other ways it has been used as an insult. You don’t give him the time to go into detail, speaking up once more in a gentle voice.
“Granted, it’s a nickname that bothers you, and that’s something worth bringing up with them. However, I’m sure everyone means it in the most flattering way possible. You know that saying continues, right?” That seems to peak his interest, because he’s shoving you away gently, only enough for him to turn around and face you. True to his name, any cuddling position works just fine for him, but he does have a preference for the ones he can see you.
You bring him in closer, allowing him to rest his head on your chest. You’re taking care of him today, and you want to show it through actions just as much as words.
“Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than master of one. That’s how the saying goes. It’s a compliment. You’re a generalist more than a specialist, meaning you’re better at resolving issues than someone who’s very good in a specific department. You’re versatile and able to think on the spot, instead of being stuck to your element.”
He seems to tense up a little at that as well, but this time it’s different. It’s not a pained tensing up, not a worried or anxious one, but more of a realisation. He realises that it could be interpreted like that as well, and fears he might have let his insecurities get the better of him. His grip around you tightens, and you wrap your arms even harder around him, a quiet promise that you’re protecting him.
“Do you know why you have such a good team, with such amazing specialist players? Because you’re there. If you’re there, they can focus on getting better and better on their own position, knowing they always have you. You always have everyone’s backs, Aki. You have Bokuto’s back when he’s being blocked, you have Akaashi’s back when he had to touch the ball first during a receive, and you have everyone’s back when Bokuto goes crazy and they need to depend on you to score. It’s because they have such an amazing generalist on their team that they can focus on being specialists. You’re their most important player. You keep the team together.”
By now, you can tell he’s crying. You don’t think you’ve really said all that much, but it must be very important for him to hear this. He has likely been doubting himself for quite some time, so it must be reassuring to be praised. It must be hard; Konoha is extremely into volleyball, and sometimes he gets really competitive. If he thought that nickname was used as an insult to tell him he wasn’t as good as the others on the team who excel at what they do, it must have really hurt him. You wish he had brought this up with you sooner.
No other words are exchanged between the two of you about the topic; you keep him close to you, gently combing through his hair in hopes of calming down his sobs, which now have gotten louder. He’s letting them pour out, and it’s for the best – his frustrations, his shame, his anger, they’re all pouring out with them, being instead replaced by confidence, understanding, and pride. He should wear the nickname proudly, because that’s the only way his team would ever mean it. He knows it, of course, knows they would never insult him in such a way, but sometimes he can get too much into his own head.
That’s where you come in. Your gentle touches and kind words are a silent promise of help, of compromise to him, to always be with him and help him through this. In the same way he helps you through your own issues.
At the end of the day, you two have each other, and will always have each other.
So you remain quiet, basking in each other’s presence, lucky to be together. Lucky to be able to count on one another, thankful for the time you’re allowed to spend by the other’s side, grateful for the wonderful memories you’re able to create.
And another day goes by, and you both end up sleeping the problems away.
When Konoha shows up confident the next day, now laughing along at the mentions of the nickname, nobody seems to notice.
But as you sit and watch them practise, you know. He has changed again, grown to accept himself even a little more, and you were there to see it.
And you sit there, hoping you’ll get to see it again.
Sorry for always camping on your requests 🙈🙈 but uhh dhhshd can i request a kuroo x reader (or if u do konoha pls do konoha) angst au with the song i cant make you love me by bon iver?
One-Sided Future (Konoha x Reader)
*GIF not mine*
Summary: It’s hard to see a person fall in love with another who never intends on sharing a future with that person. It’s even harder when that person is you. (Based on “I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Bon Iver)
A/N: I’m really sorry this is so late, but I sincerely hope you like it. It might not be what you were expecting, but I saw a comment on the video of the song that just inspired me and also broke my heart, so I just hope you feel the same with this angsty fic. Again, I really hope you like it!
Word count: 900
He was warm.
The bed shook as he slipped under the covers, arms wrapping around you while you feigned sleep.
Why did it hurt so much?
His grip on you never tightened. It was as simple as that.
His chest was hot near your back. You couldn’t feel it’s solidity anymore though.
There was a wall between you and Konoha now. Every inch of space between you two created a wall. You didn’t like it.
You couldn't stop it.
Sitting in silence, you waited until his breathing slowed. Then you shifted in his grip, moving closer to feel him while also turning to face him. This was the closest you had gotten in weeks.
He was so peaceful in his sleep, dirty blond hair splayed against his pillow. You couldn’t see his dark eyes behind his closed lids, and for that you were thankful.
In moments like these, you could pretend they still held love. You could pretend they would still squint in delight at the sight of you. You could pretend their pupils would still widen when you embraced him in a hug.
But the fact was that they didn’t. Your hopes, your requited love, your shared future, it was all just a dream. A fruitless dream.
In your own eyes, Konoha was the one. One day, you wished you two would get married and spend the rest of your lives together. You wanted to walk down the aisle under his adoring gaze. You wanted to dip your toes in the hot sand of a gorgeous beach beside his grinning form. You wanted to watch him spill a single tear at the sight of a newborn in his arms.
A whole future was visible before your eyes. Every detail was beautiful. Not perfect, but beautiful.
Konoha couldn’t see it. He didn’t want to see it. God, how you wanted him to see it, wanted him to want it. But he didn’t.
Nothing was more hopeless than that wish. The idea of being together forever, loving each other for the rest of your lives was nothing but a pipe dream. Not even a pipe dream. It was just a damn dream. One you needed to let go.
Tonight would be your last night in his arms. You should have ended it before he joined you in the bed, but you just wanted to feel him one last time. It was a lapse in judgement, but a final farewell all the same.
Tomorrow you will move on. Tomorrow you’ll let him go and carry on with your life. You’ll let him find someone else, someone who wanted the same things he wanted.
And maybe one day you could find someone for yourself.
Still, it hurt to think that there was nothing you could do. There was nothing left to salvage in your relationship.
How…
How can someone possibly describe the pain?
It wasn’t physical, but it was damn near close. Your heart was… aching, yearning for reciprocity.
Konoha wanted a girlfriend. He wanted movie dates and posters at volleyball games. Study nights and silly little pranks. Posts and pictures online of the two of you everywhere and anywhere.
You wanted the love of your life. A man to marry and have children with. Someone to hug in joy as you watched first steps, listened to first words. Someone to go to for comfort when work was stressful or when college days began.
Konoha wanted good times.
You wanted commitment. But you couldn’t force that on him. So yes, tonight was the last night with him.
So you wiped away your tears and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. You wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled him close, intertwining your legs with his.
He was warm. He always was.
Then you closed your damp eyes and laid your head against his chest, letting out a broken sob when his hands squeezed just a bit tighter.
You promised yourself this was it. This was the last night you would be in his arms. Then you would let him go. You promised.
Then you fell asleep.
***
Within the span of a month, Konoha’s arm had already fallen over another girl’s shoulder.
Within the span of a month, you still felt just as much love for him as you did when you let him go. But the truth was clear before your eyes.
You couldn’t force him to be with you for your own dreams.
Note: I realized I’ve done accidents in this month more than once and usually they’ve all died, but not in this case. This is deathless, and perhaps if I was a good writer, it’d hurt more. N e ways, enjoy the angst. (Lowkey wanna make a part 2 and make it fluffy, hmmm maybe, after a whole month of angst, fluff is well deserved)
˜”*°•.˜”*°•.•°*”˜.•°*”˜
Konoha Akinori was a man of many talents. He was also someone that did not let his heart be broken easily. Heartbreak, though, was something that almost no one could stop, unless they had no emotions whatsoever. But the love in his eyes when he looked at Y/N was unmistakable. He’d do anything for her, he was absolutely whipped for her. Every single day he’d make sure that she was okay and if she needed space, he gave her space.
He was basically everything anyone could ever ask for. Now the question is where did everything go wrong?
Maybe both of them were bound to blow up. Or actually one of them and Konoha was in the way. It hurt him, it did, it hurt him to see Y/N in this way, but what hurt him more was seeing Y/N explode on him. She had tried all day not to say anything, but it seemed as if the sight of him was the trigger.
“Hey, Y/N--” Konoha started, startled when Y/N whipped around to face him, a dark shadow looming on her face. She shook her head and turned back around, not saying anything to him. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she grunted, trying not to get mad at him for no reason. He hadn’t done anything and she’d be ungrateful if she said something rude to him. How long could she keep the mask on though?
“Don’t tell me it’s nothing when you’re not even looking at me in the eye.” Konoha said gently, striding over to her to take her hands. “Talk to me.”
Ripping her hands out of his, she glared up at him. “There’s nothing for me to say, I’m fine.”
“Y/N--”
“No! I don’t want to say anything more so just respect my wishes! Don’t stay any closer to me, I just want to be alone.” Y/N exclaimed before biting her lip. Konoha was there to help her out and she was pushing him away, even though he was trying his hardest to be a good boyfriend. It failed because she wouldn’t let him.
“Y/N, why do we always end up like this?” Konoha asked impatiently. He was done, he tried his best to help but was sick of being pushed away every single time. “I keep trying to help you, but you never let me. Even if I do something, you’ll still look at me like I’m not your main character, like I’m someone that you don’t even know?”
“Konoha. Just. Go.”
“So that’s it? You basically don’t care for me even though I’ve told you hundreds of times how much I love you.” Konoha hugged himself, staring at the floor before looking at the back of her head. “And every time...every time, you’ve never said it. Not once. And you don’t feel anything?” Konoha sighed, shaking his head. “Fine. I’m not saying anything more, but I really do love you. I hope you finally realize that someday.”
At hearing the door shut, Y/N bit her lip, regretting everything. He had tried everything in his power to stay with her, even though she was hard to get through. Maybe she would go after him, maybe not. Instead, she stayed alone in the room, hugging herself. However, she would regret pushing him away for the next three years.
She looked at her phone and saw at least 65 calls and over 100 messages from the Fukurodani team. The one she noticed was from Sarukui and she clapped her hand over her mouth at the sight.
Konoha was run over by a car. He’s at the hospital and unconscious.
Racing to put on something presentable and giving up and just grabbing his hoodie, she grabbed her keys and sprinted out of her house. Public transportation was awful, she was practically bouncing up and down in place, desperate to get to him for any sign that he was going to make it out alive.
The moments she had alone with herself on the train were the ones that attacked her like bullets. What if he had lived? What if she didn’t push him away? What if both of them were at her house and doing something? Now she wouldn’t know because she had done something despicable and because of her, he may not come back alive.
The hospital was full of white walls, yet the atmosphere was filled with trepid anticipation. The antiseptic made her dizzy, she knew that the smell of it would linger in her nostrils long after she was gone. What she didn’t know was that the aroma would also haunt her in her nightmares for the next few years.
Once getting the room where Konoha was in, she started shaking as she got on the elevator. Thirteenth floor. The superstition made her feel worse about his fate. The guilt that came along with it was agonizing. The doctors did not let her inside, even though she pleaded multiple times to be able to go inside. Nothing.
So that’s what it felt like when she pushed Konoha away.
“Please just let me go inside and see him, I need to see him!” She screamed, her nails raking down a guard’s chest. “LET ME SEE KONOHA!”
The nurse said gently, “Please, miss, wait and you will be the first one to know of his results. Let us do what we have to do and if necessary for him to go into surgery, we will let you know.”
Oh, how much pain would she have to suffer next? It felt like everything was laughing at her. He did not have to go into surgery but the doctors were murmuring to each other and some of them even stole glances at her through the window.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick.
And then it was over. The doctors came out of the room and she tried to look at Konoha. One of the doctors allowed her to see through the window and she pressed her hands against the glass, peering at him through the thick glass.
Konoha was there, his eyes closed and his mouth also shut. She wished to push back the stray bangs on his face, knowing that he would always wake up whenever she did it then go back to sleep. He didn’t move, nothing. Not even a little twitch. But somehow, there was the tiniest smile on his face. It was very small and it gave her hope that he would make it out alive, make a silly pick up line and hop out of bed. There was a catch to all of this, however, and she knew it.
“Konoha….” Y/N said, gulping. “How is he?”
“He’s in a coma.”
There it was.
~
For the next three years, Y/N came back to Konoha’s side in his room, taking his hand. No sign of him moving at all. She always pushed his hair back, stroking it slowly while whispering small things to him. Sometimes she’d talk about stuff that she had done that day and other times, she’d walk in and stare at him for hours at a time.
The second year, on a Saturday, she came back and started singing something to him that only both of them knew. It was a song Konoha had made up on a whim and she had added to it, it was their song. Only they knew it and they used to sing it to each other when the other couldn’t sleep.
It went like that for the next year and a half and there was no end in sight. Y/N held his hand close to her heart and sucked in a breath. “Hey….today was our--” She swallowed. “My graduation. I wish you were there. Komi, Bokuto, Sarukui and Washio were there and so was Akaashi. Konoha...Akinori….” A sob rose out of her and she placed her forehead on his chest, barely hearing his heart.
The doctors always made sure he was still alive but the fact that he never woke up, that his hand never made its way to her hair hurt more than anything.
Then suddenly, she was called by the hospital. Four words. The four words that brought her hopes up, drop everything and make her way to the hospital, a giddy smile on her face.
Konoha is waking up.
She raced from her job, her heart racing. Three long years without him, three years just sitting at his bedside and singing softly to him, three years going everywhere and worrying about Konoha.
Three years of being alone.
Konoha is waking up.
He’s going to be okay.
Once she got to the hospital, she sprinted past the receptionist’s desk and went up to his room, already memorizing the map of the hospital and his room. Pushing the door open, there was only one doctor there and he looked up at her with a grimace, wincing. “Miss--”
“Akinori?” Y/N ran to Konoha’s side, pushing his hair back as his eyelids slowly opened and his hand started twitching. At a snail’s pace, his eyelids opened fully and his head lolled, looking at her with blank eyes. Her heart sped up as she reached down for his limp hand and staring into his eyes. “Hey...look at me...you’re awake, Akinori, you’re finally--”
“Who are you?” He asked, genuine confusion on his face.
Y/N stared at him for a moment before looking at the doctor with concern. “Doctor? What--?”
“I’m sorry. He’s lost all of his memories except for his name.”
Y/N let go of Konoha’s hand, breathing heavily before she started hyperventilating. She only looked back at Konoha, who was gazing at her curiously, before going into his bathroom and screaming, loud sobs coming out of her as she gripped her hair. The words kept bouncing around her mind, driving her insane.
All those years together. All the love she had for him. The last words she had ever told him. Everything.
