#al helps

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

I was talking with Kasena and she mentioned something about you having a 'mind buddy' and I wasn't sure what she meant and she said you would explain?

Kas...you fucking suck you piece of-

Okay, I’m gonna publish this because it might clear up some confusion? So, I’ve mentioned Al, my boyfriend, a time or two on here. “my tag is ‘al helps’ when i’m being a piece of shit” Yeah, that- That’s Al. See, there’s a little...twist, sort of, kind of. It’s a joke that we call him my mind buddy because he’s sort of kind technically a spirit... “i promise she’s not crayz she just seems it” thanks babe...thanks.

Okay, it’s a long story, but I’m a witch. Weird creepy shit happens to me. He started off as a sort of...tulpa, I think. Now it’s less that more just spirit. I /can/ hear his voice during relaxed moments, like when falling asleep and waking up and I ranted about that a few days ago. “she was shocked i had a southern accent” YOUR VOICE IS DEEP AS FUCK OKAY

But, yeah, Kas is a fucking prick. But, yes, my ‘mind buddy’ is just a joke name we call Al because he is a piece of shit. “guilty and proud” And he pops up with comments on my posts and life and everything else. It’s just...easier to roll with it. Trust me.

I can hear him, too, constantly during the day and generally it’s like hearing your thoughts but you know it’s not /your/ thoughts. Just- ROll with it, it’s chill, it’s cool, we got things mostly figured out.

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

SO SOME OF YOU KNOW ABOUT AL MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT??? GUESS WHO HEARD HIS VOICE /CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR/ LAST NIGHT?? AS IN ‘HOLY SHIT IS HE RIGHT BEHIND ME’ CLEAR

IT ME

and holy fuck is it /deep/ i was not prepared for that one but i can’t find i’m upset ALSO HE’S FUCKING SOUTHERN WHY AM I NOT EVEN SURPRISED “you are too, ya know” I KNOW BUT STILL

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Just saw your response to my question! (the Al coincidence :p) my guy's name is Alkazar and well he's an old spirit. He's a dork tho. I thought maybe you would like to know c:

Neat! Sounds very spirity. “oh, cause Alvarro isn’t?” ....i love you most? “mhm” But, yes, yes. That is neat to know and that Al is a common spirit name apparenlty. “...not.../common/.” coomm- Dmamit, stop making me take on your typing quirk. “nah”

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Hello hope you are well. I have to ask about your familiar/bf. Could you say what his full name is? If he doesn't mind. Cause I am not kidding when I say mines is nicknamed Al too. It's a crazy coincidence.

Whoa, seriously? Creepy. His full name is Alvarro! Means Guardian. “i just go by al thought because alvarro is ridiculous” it’s adorable “ly ridiculous” SO YOU ADMIT YOU’RE ADORABLE

“...wait...”

Heh~

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Also, I DARE you not to use that "Time is my bitch" line in Guardian. I DARE you

YOU KNOW WHAT

IT’S HALF PAST SIX IN THE MORNING AND I HAVEN’T SLEPT AND I WAS JUST THINKING OF WORKING ON GUARDIAN - SO YOU KNOW WHAT REX????

I’LL TAKE THAT FUCKING BET AND FUCKING /USE IT IN GUARDIAN/

“....you’re gonna regret this so much in the morning, you know that, don’t you?”

RAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH I REGREW NTOHING I AM THE WRITER OF REALITY I CONTROL THE STORIES I GIVE LIFE TOO

“...just...just go to sleep, little darling...”

LLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

I'm sorry to ask, but, I saw you mention that you have a familiar, and I've been wanting to have one as well for a long time, but I haven't found any conclusive way to get one. If you would tell me how you got yours, I would be most grateful.

Woo, aha, this is going to be an interesting answer... Hm... Al, wanna help me out here? “Nah, I’ll let you get his one.” ...Thanks ever so, dear. “Of course, darling.”

Alright, so! ...I have no fucking clue how to get a familiar. Mine’s a spirit as well, and he’s on another dimension parallel to our own. One we can’t /see/, but one we can sometimes hear. I can...sort of ‘hear’ him in my head, but not really a voice, so much as a thought. It took a while to figure out what was /my/ thoughts, and what was /his/ words. “She got it in the end, though. And I do sometimes slip and have an accent.” And adorable irish one~ “Mhm.”

Right, so. He’s been there for a while, but it took a long time for me to realize who and what he was. And...I don’t know how he became my familiar, he just sort of...did. “And then boyfriend.” Woo, wow, that’s a whole OTHER story I won’t be getting into anytime soon. But, yes. It was more that I slowly became aware of him over a long period of time, years, actually, before I realized what he was.

Keep in mind my magic is a fair bit stronger than when I was that age, so it took a while for my magic and him to kind of...sync up. “You’d probably be better off asking people who aren’t us. We’re kinda shit at explaining this.” Yeaaah. He’s more like...a tulpa, I guess? Thoughtform? “Spirit tulpa who was /something/ before meeting her, but became so much more after.” Aw... “You are weak.” I AM WEAK!

But, yeah. It’s...complicated. But...in a good way. Best bet is to maybe look more into spirit familiars? It’s...very complicated. And stressful. And you doubt yourself daily, but...it’s worth it. So very worth it. “Now, now, little darling, you’re gonna make me blush.” You are a dork. “So says the Queen.” I AM INDEE DQUEEN DORK!

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

*Throws random numbers at you* 20-30

20:  What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? - Greatest weakness would be, um... Self doubt and hatred and the belief that everything I do isn’t good enough and I don’t deserve the friends I have. Strength would be not giving up hope and believing in happily ever afters no matter what shit I have to go through.

21:  Who is your celebrity crush? - I...don’t really do celebrity crushes? Only dude I romantically love is my idiot boyfriend who’s buried neck deep in giant research textbook like things. Poor bastard. “It’s research! Important research!” You look cute with glasses. “...You help nothing.” Heh.

22:  Have you ever gone skinny dipping? - Nooooo.... Probably not? Maybe when I was like, 4 or 5? Other than that nope.

23:  How do you vent your anger? - Ranting to friends, writing, and crocheting. STAB, one, two, STAB, one, two. You just did a single crochet stitch.

24:  Do you have a collection of anything? - Um...not particularly, I guess. Yarn, maybe, where I never do anything with it. Inspirational quotes? Just...not really.

25:  Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - VIDEO CHATTING. DEAR FATES I FUCKING HATE PHONES CAUSE THEY JUST- NO- I CAN’T UNDERSTAND A DAMN THING!

26:  Are you happy with the person you've become? -  Mm...I think...I’m happier with who I am than I used to be. I still...have those moments of doubt, but... I’m getting better.

27:  What's a sound you hate; sound you love? - Sound I hate is silence. Like...that silence in the dark, right before you fall asleep, where there’s no noise, no words, and too many thoughts. Sound I love is music, just...any and all music. And Al’s voice. “Sap.” Yup!

28:  What's your biggest "what if"? - ‘What if we had been given a different beginning.’ Or ‘wHAT IF FATE WASN’T A GODDAMN SADISTIC BITCH’ and so on.

29:  Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - AHAHAHAHAHA DO I BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?!??!?! OH MAN! DO I /BELIEVE/ IN GHOSTS “Now you’ve done it...” WORDS DO NOT EXPLAIN THE IRNOY OF THIS QUESTION TO ME LIKE IT REALLYD OE SNOT JSTU WOW AHDASHAJKGA;AKLF “Patpat, little darling. Patpat.” As for aliens, I mean, a form of life on other planets in general...how could you not?

30:  Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. - Computer. I sit reeeaaalllyyyy close to it. I mean if we go sideways thought... Nothingness and nothingness.

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

What did Al do this time??

HE’S BEING AN IDIOT CAUSE THAT’S WHAT HE DOES BEST THE IDIOT

“To be fair...it is for a good reason this time.” YOU ARE AN IDIOT WITH YOUR MAGIC YOU ARE WORSE THAN ME “...YOu almost set your house on fire. I am doing this logically.” I... stop being logical it makes me less angry “Good.”