#alcesalcez

[bigbywlf]

We dream of the places where we never die We step from our shadows and into the light

[outranks]

Lydia/Polyseed "Please don't leave me" ANGST!!

Lydia/Polyseed!!! 😭😭❤️❤️❤️ I tried to make this nice instead of angsty and I THINK I DID IT??

For weeks Rook has been having nightmares. Not every night, but too often and always memorable. She sees John die, she sees Jacob die, she sees Joseph alive and looking at her through fire and hatred. She sees it all again and again and she wakes paralyzed with fear that it’s all going to be real and when she opens her eyes they’ll be gone.

So she sleeps less.

Rook curls herself around Joseph, feeling John at her back, and reaches out to touch Jacob. They’re her anchor points reminding her that this is real and they’re alive. She listens to their breathing as she drifts in sleep that feels no longer than minutes, but she can’t see them die again. She can’t have Joseph look at her with contempt and anger. The Seeds mean the world to her and the thought of losing them crushes something in her heart and turns her blood ice cold.

The morning can’t come soon enough, bringing golden light through the windows and warmth to a bedroom that was beginning to feel cold. Rook can tell when Jacob wakes, though he doesn’t move to get out of bed. She taps her fingers against his skin, letting him know she’s awake too, and after a moment he places his hand over hers. It settles the anxious feeling in her stomach. She can’t keep going as she has, keeping everything inside. There might be no stop to the nightmares, but if she tells them… at least they won’t let her suffer alone. Restless sleep is not uncommon in their home.

“Close the curtains,” John mumbles against her neck, trying to hide his face from the sunlight.

“Close it yourself,” Jacob says.

Joseph sighs; always a light sleeper and often awake as early as Jacob. “No arguing before breakfast.” He shifts, moving like he’s planning to get up, but Rook hooks her leg around his, keeping him in place.

“Don’t go,” she says. “Let’s just stay here all day.” Rook is so tired her eyes feel like sandpaper when she blinks and she doesn’t have much energy to spare. “You’re people will be fine for a day, you don’t have to go anywhere.”

“Rook,” Joseph runs his fingers through her hair, “are you alright.”

“Yeah,” she says. “No. I couldn’t sleep. I— I keep seeing— I’ve been having these nightmares where— I couldn’t sleep.”

“What kind of nightmares?” Joseph asks, and the bed shifts as Jacob sits up.

Rook presses herself tighter to Joseph’s side. “Ones where Jacob and John are dead and you hate me because I— I—” she never saw that part of the dream, but she knew what had happened. Over and over she watched as two of the men she loves died and every time she knew she had killed them. “It’s always my fault.”

“We’re right here,” John says, digging his fingers into the fingerprint bruises on her hip that he’d put there. “We’re not going anywhere.”

It helps, a little, but for the first time since she found her place with the Seeds she feels untethered and close to breaking. Each nightmare is worse than the last. “Please, just for today, please don’t leave me.” In the back of her mind is a fear that if they leave her sight she’ll never see them again. It’s irrational and terrible and she knows that it’s brought on by too little sleep.

But it’s still there.

“I guess it wouldn’t be so bad,” Jacob says, leaning back against the pillows. “Spend the day in bed, maybe get Joseph to make pancakes.”

Joseph sighs again. “It’s not spending the day in bed if I have to get up to cook for everyone.”

“We do need to eat,” John says.

Rook can’t tell if they’re just trying to make her feel better or if they’re actually arguing about breakfast, but either way it does help. “Does that mean you’ll stay? Just today, no responsibilities?”

John tugs at one of the blankets, pulling it over the both of them. “It’s the best idea I’ve heard in months.”

“We’ll still need to— I’ll make some calls,” Joseph says. “But you have to talk to us about these nightmares. If there’s a way that we can help…”

“Just being here helps.”

“Rook.”

“He meant long-term help, Rook,” Jacob says.

Rook groans. “I know, I know, but how do you stop my mind from creating these images? How do I stop seeing you— how do I stop it?”

“Don’t know,” Jacob says. “Do you plan to kill us?”

“No.” Even the thought of it hurts like and open wound.

“And Joseph could never hate you,” John adds.

Joseph tips her chin up so their eyes meet. “John is right about that. You were meant for us, our family, and I love you. All of us love you.”

She could hear that a thousand times and it will always my her heart speed up and her cheeks stain pink. “I love you,” she says, “I chose you.”

Jacob reaches out to take her hand. “We’ll figure this out.”

Rook’s nightmares haven’t been banished and she’s so tired her vision is starting to blur around the edges, but she’s more optimistic now than she had been. Maybe they won’t be able to fix the problem and maybe she’ll have more dreams of death and fire. At least she knows that in she’ll still have the three men she’s chosen to spend her life with. And maybe if they work hard to end her nightmares, they’ll find an end for their own.

Maybe nights in the Seed home won’t be so restless anymore.

[momomomma2]

Jesus christ that Crossdressing Dep/Jacob fic, Bri. ❤👍🏼

Not gonna lie, I had so much fun writing that. Jacob’s entire intention in that ‘verse is to wreck Rook in every pretty thing he can get him into and I love it.

[teamhawkeye]

KATIE. NECK TATTOO.

WOO BOY, YES - I AM ALL OVER THAT ❤️❤️❤️

[outranks]

me being the most useless co op partner to @alcesalcez and kicking Eli in the face 👌👌

[outranks]

that time @alcesalcez leveled up his stealth and became invisible

[outranks]

What's the worst thing Josh has been caught doing by Joseph?

one time Josh was sick (but like, barely. it was a mild cold) and Joseph wasn’t home so when Josh got hungry he wrapped himself in every blanket on the bed and went to make his own food. forty minutes later Joseph comes back to find a blanket gremlin on the floor in the kitchen eating overcooked pasta with his hands, surrounded by foam from a fire extinguisher

[outranks]

HELLO I would like to request one (1) fic of Brandon/Jacob where they do NSFW things under a table at Joseph's very formal dinner while John makes sure no one sees, but Joseph knows the whole time and just makes it unbearably awkward. I trust you with my OC :D

posted here on AO3

I really loved writing Brandon!! Jack, thank you so much for trusting me with him 😭❤️❤️ I did my best to make sure I got him right, and his dynamic with the Seeds. It was a little weird writing outside of Josh’s headspace, but I enjoyed it a lot and I hope I did Brandon justice and that the fic is what you wanted!!

Anyway, I love Brandon❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️