My brother, the heroic alcoholic, is in the hospital right now. He went in last week after his youngest son was alarmed at his skin being yellow...he told his mother he was worried and as she and my brother aren’t married anymore she did the best she could - she rallied their 3 boys, and the wife of the middle one. They basically shared a vigil over him...becoming a tag team whose sole aim was to make sure he was ok and focus him on getting to a doctor or hospital.
They did a great job and had him committed to going...and then it all fell apart. His oldest son was with him one night and he was evidently that the next generation of heroes stepped forward...he gave his father the choice of going to the hospital in his car or in an ambulance.
He chose the car.
A bleed in his esophagus, a system all but disintegrated, and a liver functioning at less than 50% all conspired to send him straight to ICU. For a fair few days now he’s been mercifully sedated as his body is wracked with tremors and the physical manifestation of detox.
The alcoholic hero is going to have to face life as just a plain old run of the mill hero. And we’re all going to be here to give him all the encouragement and love he’ll need to get there. I know he can fail...I know he will never be out of danger...I know the first days out of the hospital will be fraught with emotional and physical pain and frustration. I know I’m an ocean away and limited. I just want so desperately for him to live...to truly live. He’s been a heavy drinker for almost 40 years...life has been going on around him. He’s been heavily involved in it - both good and bad things. I just want him to see it clearly. I want him to realize how loved he is and I want the sun to shine on him a little brighter now...food to taste a little better...laughter and smiles to be a little more meaningful. I want for him to be the hero in his own life...of course if he wants to dribble over into mine when things are crappy I’m good with that.
I’m crying...sitting here knowing he’ll live...the relief is streaming down my cheeks. I love that heroic alcoholic and to know he’s ok makes me amazingly happy.
And now...recovery.