so i'm back again with my rants (hoping that tumblr will have mercy on me and post it this time)
i feel like a lot of buddie fans (not everyone, but A LOT) actually forget that buck is a human and also has feelings. just like the 118 forget about them.
like, they see a pretty boy, who wears his heart on his sleeve, they see his crush on eddie, but that's all.
they just forget that evan buckley has feelings, and that those feelings are valuable.
what made me think like that?
an incredible amount of posts saying "eddie will never forgive abby for what she's done"
why would she need that? no one needs eddie forgiving abby. for the love of god, he wasn't even there when buck and abby were dating. he only heard about her from others. the girl has a fiancé now, she moved on, so fuck off
second. who the hell is eddie to forgive her when he hurt buck himself? c'mon.
i actually came across a really good gifset where you can see how much eddie hurt him with his words.
now, those two lines were said when they weren't even fighting. when everything was getting better. and now just imagine what effect would the words make when buck felt a lot worse? like, for example, the whole argument in the shop scene. calling someone exhausting because they have feelings? telling them to suck it up because you always do it and you are not fine? i'm still pissed on eddie for saying that. even tho i hold a grudge on everyone from 118, eddie is definitely on top of that list (followed by bobby, chimney and hen on the last place, cause she was the only one to point out that buck actually has no one else, and she even gave him that cupcake when he came back).
we all now suspect buck having abandonment issues and he already has problems talking about his own feelings. i think that evan was always afraid of talking about his problems, afraid that people will see him as weak, will throw him out like a broken toy, saying that he needed to suck it up.
and then someone actually tells him those words. after leaving him alone to struggle with a thought of losing his job, after the tsunami, after the truck explosion. hell, the poor boy must have a really bad ptsd now, while having problems with his self-worth. he himself said that he feels like he's not much of anything outside his uniform.
so yeah. abby is no saint (i'm definitely not saying that what she did was alright – no, it's just not the topic right now), but eddie is no better. they both did awful things to evan, but buck will always forgive them, because that's just who he is.
and, actually, after thinking about it for a little, i would like to see this:
eddie turns to look at the woman. she looks worried and wary, as if still expecting something else to happen. and maybe, she's right.
"you know what?" he says, when they are left alone, "you don't deserve to be forgiven. not after what you did to buck and how you made him feel with your actions."
it's visible that she didn't think eddie would go on her like this. her eyes widen in shock, she opens and closes her mouth, trying to find the right words.
"you just left him alone, doubting his own self-worth-"
before he can continue his speech, he's interrupted by someone else.
"just like you did?" eddie turns so fast he's sure he gets whiplash. "why are you so shocked? did you just expect me to suck it all up? to stop being exhausting?"
his own words cut him deep, in a way he never thought was possible. he looks at buck, now being the one not having the right words.
"what? did you forget about that? or did you not expect me to make it all about me again? oh, wait. it was about from the start, so this argument doesn't work in here… what else was there? right, me doing it all to make myself feel better. yeah, this one fits, doesn't it?"
eddie simply stars at buck.
"did you think i would just forget that ever happened? that i just let it all slide and we come back to being best friends? i know that the lawsuit was dumb, but my feelings weren't. still aren't. so you suck all your complaints up and stop behaving as if you have any say in it."
with that buck simply walks away to the others, leaving eddie to think about every time he failed his best friend.
