I see that you've come so farTo be right where you areHow old is your soul?Well, I won't give up on usEven if the skies get roughI'm giving you all my loveI'm still looking up
2. You Needed Me - Anne Murray
You gave me strength to stand alone againTo face the world out on my own againYou put me high upon a pedestalSo high that I could almost see eternityYou needed me, you needed me
3. Falling Slowly - From “Once”
You have suffered enoughAnd warred with yourselfIt's time that you won
4. I’m Sorry - The Platters
I know the heartaches you've been throughI know for I've had heartaches tooThere's nothing more I can doBut say to you I'm sorry5. Whatever it Takes - Lifehouse
She said "If we're gonna make this workYou gotta let me inside even though it hurtsDon't hide the broken parts that I need to see"She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta beYou gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
This is going to be Au because you’ve posted quite a few evelia musings and I need them, okay? - Cordelia bringing Evan alcohol
Evan had never seen this coming. He had married young, and everyone had told him that everything had gone too fast but he didn’t listen. Forever the romantic, he was sure he and Chloe were going to be right for each other just the same as his fathers had worked out despite moving in together young. Unfortunately life wasn’t fair on the couple. Chloe’s anxiety came back in the worst way when they were trying to adopt a child.
They had been married for almost ten years before they took that step, though they were in their late twenties and felt like they were stable enough to bring in a child. As completely loving people, they were confident that they would be able to find a child they both wanted to bring into their family. At first, they remained positive, but after several trips to orphanages and foster homes the chemistry never struck them both. And when it did? The child wasn’t always happy to be adopted by a mixed race couple of which one parent was transgender. Some adoption agencies had already rejected them because of past issues of mental health.
It proved too much for Chloe. She began to lose weight, she began to withdraw and nothing Evan could do would convince her that they were meant to be parents. Chloe died at the age of 34 - Evan was devastated. The funeral had been hard for him, he could barely think straight but he did his best to help her mother with the plans so Chloe could be sent off. He barely invited any of his own friends to the funeral, wanting the day to be all for Chloe.
It was two years later. Evan was lying on the sofa as he waited for his body to finally move. He felt almost sore, his muscles probably stuck in position as he had barely moved for hours, his chest ached and his eyes stung from crying. Two years since he buried his wife and he hadn’t been able to find love again... though to be fair he had never really tried. As always, he turned his cellphone off and unhooked his phone and was determined to just be alone but there was a knock at the door. Even before he answered it, he knew who it was. She had done the same last year.
Slowly, he opened the door to face Cordelia, who held some beers in her hand and gave him a sad smile, “Hey Evan.” she said, softly. Evan let her in and closed the door behind him before he moved to hug her, “Hey delia...” he said softly. Cordelia was the only other woman he had ever loved - though things hadn’t turned out right for them, “You didn’t have to come...” he said as he pulled away. Cordelia moved towards the kitchen, knowing the apartment well enough she treated it like home, “Yes I did.” she poured out one of the beers into a glass for herself. It wasn’t really to her taste but Evan suspected she didn’t want him to feel like he was more of an inconvenience, “You shouldn’t keep spending today by yourself.” Evan scoffed, “I haven’t been able to because someone insists on coming over.” he said, though there was an air of teasing. He did truly appreciate her coming, though it was hard not to ask her to stay with him when she eventually had to go.
After several drinks, Evan felt himself relax. He had cried, held by Cordelia and now they were just chatting and laughing. They reminisced about their fond times together. As the laughter slowly quietend, Cordelia’s face turned more serious as she gazed at Evan, “I still love you, Evan...” she said, softly, “I will always be here for you, you know that?” Evan nodded and kissed her lips softly, “I know.”
☎ hugging them - Logan’s reaction to Arthur hugging him. (This went really off the prompt so I kind of apologise but I don’t.
When Logan had agreed to joining in with Adrian and Arthur, he had little knowledge or experience of being in a polyamorous relationship. There was something a little odd about living with a married couple, though Logan cared for them both. They seemed to balance each other out, and it helped with Logan’s need for attention that had scared away most of the guys he had ever been with. Logan had a lot of love to give, but he needed a lot of love that sometimes one person could not really fulfill whilst keeping sane. It had started when Logan moved in with them because he was a bit strapped for cash, he barely knew Arthur but Adrian had been a close friend of his since High School. It was supposed to be a short term solution, but one day all three of them had gotten a little drunk and ended up in bed together.
It was awkward at first, Adrian and Arthur fought a lot. Logan rushed to pack his things and was making plans to move back in with his mother when Arthur turned up at his door. Looking back, Logan realised this was to make it more believable. If Adrian had come, Logan would have doubted that Arthur had agreed to it. Arthur seemed to struggle to form the words, but then he relaxed and asked Logan if he would be interested in trialing something. They didn’t know how they really felt after that night, and they wanted to ensure it wasn’t just the alcohol.
Their first date was much like how they normally spent time together. Adrian cooked - not because he was forced but because he loved to do it. Arthur and Logan weren’t great at cooking, and were happier to sit and wait to be dined. Logan had dressed in his nicest clothes, a little nervous and unsure about how this relationship was going to form. For Logan, he had to remind himself that he was involved. Adrian and Arthur were engaged to be married, but that didn’t mean he was lesser. He was just... newer? Whilst they waited, Logan spoke to Arthur about the football. It was a safe topic between them, and it meant Logan could relax more in front of the guy he didn’t know as well as he knew Adrian.
Making Arthur smile and laugh, made Logan’s chest tighten. He always wanted to make people feel better - and with Arthur he had always gotten the sense that he couldn’t smile. At least not for Logan. But now Arthur was the most relaxed he had ever been around Logan. Even before dinner, Logan was feeling the emotions and sensations of someone truly on a first date. As it turned out, Adrian took his time cooking, making sure they had that time alone together to really establish if there was chemistry between them. Adrian had already known there was something worth exploring with Logan, but he couldn’t go into it without sharing with Arthur.
And now, Adrian and Arthur were both married. Logan was the best man to Adrian and it was a little hard to see the couple dance and openly celebrate their new union. They weren’t ready to reveal the third party yet, which Logan agreed with but it didn’t stop him feeling like he did. He waved them off for their honeymoon. They had spoken about Logan joining them, but Logan didn’t want to tag along and end up in a different room whilst they shared the honeymoon suite.
Logan spent the whole honeymoon thinking about their situation, really questioning if they had a future. He loved them both, there was no doubt. But he had hated being in the closet before and now he felt like he was being nudged back in there. When the men returned, Logan had intended to confront them with the topic, but Arthur had completely surprised him.
He had gotten up at the sound of the key in the lock and he called to Oreo to give the couple space. It was hard not to smile, seeing them both back in his life. Logan stepped closer, urging himself to speak when Arthur threw his arms around him in a big hug, before pulling back enough to kiss him, “God I missed your face.” he said, breathlessly. There was a tiny hint of alcohol, but not enough to make Logan feel like this wasn’t genuine. Adrian smiled as he watched Arthur pull his bag close to his body a he started rifling through. Logan’s body was still tingling from the hug when Arthur brought out a ring box, “Now... don’t get excited... but this is like a promise ring.” he said, smiling, “It looks like ours and... we wanted you to have something...”
Logan’s eyes welled up as the ring was placed on his finger, “I... for real?” he whispered. Arthur laughed gently and then he hugged him close once more, Adrian joining in from the other side, “For real... we’re serious Logan.”
Lexie’s reaction to Mila telling her she loves her for the first time. (AU)
It had been a long day and Lexie was tired of words. She hadwritten almost 5,000 words today on a variety of her assignments and probablyread about twice that in various books. Tonight she was going to let her hairdown and just have a good time. All this hard work was going to make her gocrazy if she didn’t let herself relax. There was a party tonight that Milena wantedher to go to. Milena was a maths major, and they had met during a party and justreally hit it off. They had surpassed friendship in their sophomore year, butthey had only really been official since the beginning of the senior year.
Surprisingly for Lexie, the ‘coming out’ hadn’t made such afuss as she had imagined. She found herself surrounded by guys more now as theyasked all kinds of inappropriate questions about her love life. Her motherstill loved her immensely, her friends didn’t care and the planet kept onturning. Their relationship was part of the reason she spent so much time inthe library. They were roommates now, and it was hard to get any work donearound each other because they’d much rather do anything together instead oftheir assignments. But graduation was drawing nearer and Lexie could almosttaste it. So, she picked up her stuff and sent a message to Milena: ‘Pick me agreat outfit for tonight and I’m there x’ before she dropped off some of the booksshe hadn’t taken out.
The party was in an apartment and Lexie could hear the musicfrom the street. She knew then it wasn’t going to be a long affair – before longsomeone would call the police but then again they would just move to someoneelse’s place. She wasn’t keen on pulling an all-nighter, but she was going tohave some fun. Milena was right beside her as they entered the building andsoon they were drinking and dancing close together. “It’s so good to be outagain!” Milena called over the music, a glass in her hand. Lexie chuckled, “I know right?” she moved closer, enjoying the feeling of having her girlfriendclose to her. They had yet to talk about their futures once they graduate,though both had been applying to various teacher training courses they didn’tknow what was going to happen. A part of Lexie wasn’t prepared to have thatconversation yet. And they didn’t that night, they barely talked at all thatnight beyond asking for drinks and mentioning toilet breaks. Sure enough, theparty was interrupted by a police officer but Lexie and Milena were alreadystaggering.
“I barely drank anything…” Milena murmured as they movedtowards their apartment building, “I guess since we haven’t been out in a while…”she stopped to take a breath, “You feeling okay?” Lexie asked, though she could feel her stomach churn alittle now they were out of the party atmosphere. Milena nodded, moving closeto Lexie, “I’m great… because I’m with you…” she slurred slightly with a little giggleand kissed her cheek, “I’ll always be fine.” Lexie smiled, stroking Milena’shand, unable to talk before she heard Milena’s next sentence. It was saidsoftly, but Lexie heard it clear as day.
I love you.
Lexie stopped and looked at her, unable to control herbreathing, “You… do?” she asked, “You’re not just saying it because you’redrunk…?” she asked. Milena blinked and hesitated, “I do… but the alcohol made me brave enough to say it.” Milena moved closer, “AlexisRivera, I love you.” Lexie felt her breath hitch and her eyes sting, “I... I love you too…” she breathed.
