→ on his way to prison, y/n survives the crash that started his journey into the zombie apocalypse. with new friendships, enemies, and love, will he manage to survive? follow the journey in shootout.
✄┈ warnings/tags: blood, mentions of murder, zombies, death, guns, wounds
↬ word count: 3.3k
↬ published: 02.14.23 [tumblr]
↬ part 3 of __
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↬ author’s note: happy valentine’s day! this chapter may not be filled with love, but it is filled with angst. what better way to celebrate another year being single than with some angst? 😈
if someone had told y/n three months ago that he would become accustomed to farm life, much less in the middle of an apocalypse, he would have told them to screw off. yet here he was three months later going from being in the back of a cop car to a chicken coop collecting eggs for breakfast. he groaned as his hand searched the coop, swatting at the hen that pecked at his wrist.
three months and he still wasn’t used to the smell of the manure that was encapsulated in the small coop. the insulation keeping the frozen air out during the winter didn’t help.
after collecting enough eggs for the eight of them, he opened the door and closed it behind him. bits of the thawing ground crunched under his feet and he inhaled the crisp air. the harshness of winter had passed some time ago: it was a good and bad thing. good that it no longer physically hurt to step outside, but bad because it meant the zombies were no longer frozen and their occurrence would become more frequent. just the week before, a zombie had crawled its way into the yard and past the fence. there was no problem taking it out, but it had put them on edge because that was the first zombie that had been able to make it past their fence.
bobby found his way outside, checking up on y/n and when he saw he was headed to the house with the basket of eggs, he went back inside. “y/n is coming,” his voice made it past the screendoor, presumably to jinhwan who was waiting for the eggs so he could cook them.
y/n toed his shoes off on the front porch, went inside the house, and hung his jacket on the hook. “it’s pretty nice out,” he paused, “considering.” bobby came near him, wrapping an arm loosely around his shoulders.
“lady peckles didn’t give you any trouble did she?”
y/n shook his head no as they walked into the kitchen, “i still can’t believe you named a hen lady peckles.”
“she’s a lady who pecks,” y/n only chuckled at bobby’s words.
“we’re getting low on gas and supplies, so a couple of us are going to go out in a bit to see if we can siphon any gas from the junkyard and find any supplies from the pharmacy. who wants to stay and watch over the house?” hanbin announced, setting the table.
“i’ll stay,” y/n and bobby had raised their hands at the same time. they were the only two.
hanbin nodded after making sure no one else wanted to stay. they trusted y/n enough by now to be able to leave him at the house, even if it was alone with bobby. bobby was the closest with him anyway, so they were comfortable in trusting nothing would happen.
“alright. y/n, bobby, you guys got anything you want us to keep an eye out for while we’re out?”
“some more soap if you can,” y/n requested. hanbin nodded, making a mental note.
…
the house had been silent for the couple of hours that the boys had been out. y/n was asleep upstairs in his and bobby’s shared room, having fallen asleep out of boredom. of course, with bobby around, boredom shies away nine times out of ten, because at the moment he was tiptoeing in their room. he held his breath and giggle as he crept around y/n’s bed where he stood in front of y/n’s nightstand. he carefully pulled the drawer open, looking into the drawer before his eyes landed on a tattered notebook. his eyes lit up in curiosity, grabbing it from the drawer and turning to go to his side of the room.
however, bobby tripped over his own feet and fell to the floor. y/n awoke at the commotion, half-open eyes looking around the room before they landed on bobby. he sat up, about to ask what he was doing when he spotted the notebook in his hands. he was wide awake now, scrambling to remove the tangled covers from his body.
bobby got up with quickness, running out of the room while y/n became frustrated with the sheets curling around his body. giggles could be heard as bobby’s thundering footsteps flew down the steps and y/n soon was chasing after him.
“give it back!” they were in the living room now and the only thing between bobby and his escape to the kitchen was the couch and y/n on the other side of it.
“no,” bobby teased, waving the notebook about and faking in any direction to try and throw y/n off. y/n jumped forward, trying to lean over the couch to grab at bobby, but bobby took the opportunity and ran as his sweater slipped through y/n’s fingertips, laughter following his trail.
“bobby, i swear i will punch you in your trachea if you don’t give it back,” y/n threatened. when bobby’s laughter cut off abruptly, y/n smirked.
“scared you, didn’t i?” he questioned smugly as he rounded the corner.
bobby whimpered and y/n felt his heart stop when silver flashed in front of his face and aimed right at bobby’s head.
“that’s right, bitch. get on your knees or a bullet goes through his head,” the masked man barked. y/n stayed frozen, feeling nostalgia all over again. “i’m not going to say it again, get on your fucking knees or i’m killing this son-of-a-bitch.”
y/n flinched, coming back to reality. tears burned his shaking eyes and his palms started to sweat as he held his hands up, slowly dropping to his knees. y/n looked at bobby, making sure he was okay. the older was trembling, gripping his own hair as he crouched on the floor, head to his knees, and sitting on his heels as he refused to look up.
a taunting chuckle sounded, “look at them,” he had tapped bobby with his foot and watched as the man curled more into himself. y/n watched in budding anger, angry at the fact that once again, he was helpless. it wasn’t like last time when there were two guns, this time there was one. but there were also three people this time. y/n didn’t think bobby would be able to fight back, at least without getting hurt in the process. as he got lost in his head, anger showing on his face as he tried to think of his options, one of the men noticed y/n and started laughing. the others began laughing with him, finding amusement in y/n’s anger.
y/n’s head snapped to the side as he was slapped. “what are you looking so angry for? what are you going to do about it?” the man teased, grabbing his hair to turn his head back straight. “look at him guys,” he couldn’t stop laughing, tapping on y/n’s face.
y/n was grunting, becoming overwhelmed. each time a palm landed against his cheek, he could feel a rage climbing up his chest. it was too much, too similar to what had happened with yuta. it was when the guy turned toward him to continue berating him that y/n jumped on him, forcing him to the ground.
he raised his fist, bringing it down onto the man’s face. he saw flashes of the police officer he had killed months before; this was the first time he had been violent since. he couldn’t stop, finding and pulling the rage he felt from his life and holding it in the fists that continued to barrel toward the man’s body and face. his face was being scratched and clawed at in desperate attempts to stop, but he only continued hitting. it was only when his hits began to slow from exhaustion that the other two intruders snapped out of their daze. the one holding the gun rushed forward, using the hilt of the gun to smack against y/n’s head, effectively knocking him to the ground.
y/n’s rage didn’t stop there, however. when he gathered himself and stood up, he lunged toward the gunman, wrestling with him and when he finally got ahold of it, he cocked it and aimed. his finger was on the trigger in less than a second and just before he pulled, he was tackled to the side. the gun went off bobby let out a startled yell as the bullet whizzed far above him and through the window of the back door next to the kitchen sink. the bullet had nearly missed the man standing next to him.
y/n yelled out when his hair was harshly yanked backward, being dragged forward. he was thrust to the ground and two of them= men ganged up on him as they kicked and punched at his body. the man he’d just beaten paid no mercy as he landed hit after hit to y/n’s face, filled with his own rage.
bobby watched the heinous act, broken cries and pleas leaving his trembling lips as tears and snot slid down his face.
“stop boys,” the order was rough and bobby’s hiccupped cry broke the silence that followed. his eyes followed the voice, and found it was the man who had been standing next to him the whole time. he watched as the man bent down to grab the gun that had just gone off, before straightening and going back to square one. bobby internally cried out as the barrel of the gun burned against his cheek.
y/n flinched weakly as he was held up, forced to look at bobby. his body slumped against their hold and his bloodshot eyes rolled as he breathed heavily. “no, please,” he heaved, a mixture of blood and spit muffling his speech.
bobby’s eyes clenched shut when the gun was cocked and placed back against his cheek. dragged out grunts and moans left y/n’s bloodied lips as he weakly tried lunging forward, only to be held in place.
the gunman smirked at his struggle, looking y/n directly in the eyes. “say bye-bye,” and he pulled the trigger. everything went silent. y/n’s and bobby’s eyes were glued shut and their hearts were racing.
‘am i dead?’ bobby thought at one point.
“the hell are we playing, russian roulette? who loads a gun with one fucking bu—” y/n opened his eyes in time to see that the gun finally went off. but it wasn’t bobby that had fallen prey, it was the gunman. he had turned the gun toward himself, foolishly shaking and tapping it like it was a broken television remote. y/n never believed hitting something would make it work, but he thanked whatever god out there that it did this time—the bullet had lodged itself between the gunman’s eyes.
the two men holding y/n watched in bewilderment and shock as their partner’s head snapped back and his body dropped to the ground. they had loosened their grips on y/n at one point and his weak body had fallen in time with the gunman’s as he finally fell unconscious, but not before a small smirk fell upon his face.
“fuck! come on we have to go,” one of the men rushed, grabbing the fallen body of his partner.
the remaining man pointed in disbelief, “why the hell are you taking him? leave him,” he stuttered.
a glare was sent his way, “yeah, and have hwi slit my throat for leaving his brother behind? just take him to the truck and i’ll take care of these two. they haven’t seen our faces and one’s half-dead while the other’s scared shitless. who are they gonna tell?”
“fuck, whatever!”
bobby, who had still been shaking against the floor, felt a tap against his thigh. he slowly looked up, half-expecting the gun to be aimed at him again. instead, a hard punch landed on his temple and he was knocked out cold.
…
“i seriously can’t believe you’ve never seen titanic!” junhoe exasperated, walking backward as he placed himself in front of yunhyeong and chanwoo. the two men shrugged their shoulders, mumbling about how they weren’t ever interested in watching it. “but still, it’s a classic!” junhoe started becoming louder the closer they reached their home.
all of a sudden a sharp ‘sh’ sounded and they all froze in their tracks, eyes on jinhwan who had a finger to his lips. he had raised his arm, pistol in hand, and aimed as he slowly walked toward the back of the house. they observed, seeing the bullet-sized hole in the door window even with it swaying open. he motioned for them to wait as he tiptoed up the steps, heart racing at the trail of blood on them. he avoided every creaky spot he knew, peeking around the corner of the doorway. he moved further before he noticed something still in his peripheral. he swiftly turned, aiming the gun at whatever it was and he almost touched the trigger before he realized what he was seeing.
a sharp gasp left his mouth and he ran forward, yelling for the others to hurry in.
hanbin had been the first one to rush in, eyes widening at the bloody mess and bodies on the floor, “what the hell happened? y/n!” jinhwan had left y/n for hanbin to check on, bobby being the first he spotted. hanbin was crouched in the, much bigger, puddle of blood underneath y/n, tapping at his bruised cheeks and saying his name to try and wake him after checking for a pulse.
suddenly bobby shot into jinhwan’s arms, crying his name. “y/n, they kept hitting and hitting him and they wouldn’t stop! they wouldn’t—” bobby was calmed and soothed, jinhwan wiping his tears and assuring him they were okay.
“it’s just us here,” the others had returned from making sure the house was empty.
“you hear that bobby? it’s just us, so tell us what happened. can you do that?” he was still soothing the hyperventilating man. bobby swallowed thickly, looking as if it pained him to even try to recall what happened. “you said ‘they,’ who’s they?”
bobby shook his head, “i don’t know. they just came in and told us to get down or they’d shoot,” he stuttered his way through the memory, “y/n tried to fight back so they, they—” a horrified sob left his mouth, head shaking as he buried his head into jinhwan’s chest to try and get it out of his head.
jinhwan shushed him, not asking him to explain further. he looked at hanbin, “take him upstairs and wash him up. i’ll get bobby cleaned up and then bring you some medicine.” hanbin nodded at the order, cradling y/n’s limp body against his own and carrying him up the stairs. there was so much blood he almost slipped as he stood.
when he made it into the bathroom he crouched down, still holding y/n, and turned the tap on in the bathtub. he ran his fingers under the cold water before gently running them along y/n’s swollen face, trying to scope out where the blood was coming from. y/n didn’t even flinch underneath his touch; he was almost unrecognizable. he placed the plug soon after the water was at a good enough temperature before removing y/n’s clothes, leaving his underwear for privacy.
he ran his hand under the stream again, ignoring the water turning pink just from that, before he gently lowered y/n into the tub, keeping a hand on the back of his neck for support. the water immediately started to bloom in shades of pink and red as it soaked the dried blood caked on y/n’s battered skin. hanbin grimaced.
he grabbed a soft rag with his free hand and soaked it in the warm water before gently dabbing it on y/n’s face. as the blood began to clear away, hanbin could see that the cuts weren’t too bad, thankfully. most of the skin was just bruised and swollen.
hanbin set the rag down, grabbing the white bar of soap and dipping into the water before washing y/n’s chest and stomach. the waves of water from the faucet crashed along y/n’s skin, washing away the bloody soap. soon enough his skin was clean, albeit was no longer the (skincolor) shade it normally was. hanbin glanced at the skin, tracing his fingers ever so gently over the patches of bruises and he wondered just how much y/n had suffered. it was tender to the touch—his skin—and from the way it molded so easily with the slightest touch, hanbin knew the pain would be unbearable when he woke up… if he woke up.
it took him nearly half an hour to clean him, only able to do so well with one hand. he was afraid to let go of his head and leave it with no support. he’d waited for the water to drain completely before trying to pick him up. he did so with ease, surprisingly, and carried him to his own bedroom where a dry towel laid on the bed. he set him upon it, paying no mind to the water drenching his sheets, and pat his body dry.
after searching for an oversized t-shirt and dressing y/n in it, y/n let out a groan. “y/n,” hanbin startled, “can you hear me?”
y/n barely opened his eyes, feeling as though his eyelids had been tethered together. he tried to sit up, but weakly groaned when terrible pain shot through his body. “lie down, y/n,” hanbin soothed, gently covering him with his blanket.
y/n grunted, trying to speak, “b-bo—”
“bobby is okay. you’re both okay, we got you guys.” jinhwan entered the room, medicine tray in hand. y/n calmed at his words. jinhwan held a cup of water with a straw up to y/n’s mouth, the younger wrapping his lips around it and almost sighing in relief as the water coated his dry throat.
“why’s my hair wet?” y/n finally spoke. hanbin almost laughed—that was the first thing he says?
“i put you in the tub to clean off the blood, but i left your boxers on so that’s why they’re soaked. i figured you could change them when you woke up; give you some privacy.” hanbin missed y/n’s scrutinizing gaze, too busy applying ointment to his cuts.
...
y/n slowly limped down the stairs, gripping the railing as the pain in his side intensified. he passed the mirror in the hallway, not bothering to look—he’d happened to see himself earlier, his right eye was swollen shut, his left eyebrow nearly split open and barely held together by butterfly bandages, and half his face was discolored with hues of blue and yellow. there was even a small gash on his cheek, which thankfully only required a bit of alcohol, ointment, and a bandage.
he reach the living room, his presence becoming known to the fice other men. bobby was the first to see him, leaping off the couch to pull him into a gentle hug as his eyes watered. his sobs were eventually muffled by y/n’s shoulder, bobby never having been more thankful to feel a hand on his back.
“i’m so sorry for not doing anything,” he apologized, his voice breaking as he further nuzzled his face into y/n’s shirt.
y/n softly smiled, bringing his hand to pat bobby’s head. “it’s okay. we’re both fine now, that’s all that matters.” he comforted bobby, wanting him to know it wasn’t his fault. the whole time his eyes stayed glued to the floor, not wanting to look up and see the other’s reactions to his face, but it failed when bobby pulled away from the hug, reluctantly, to cradle y/n’s face. y/n winced at the touch on his face, the skin still tender.
“you look like shit,” to which y/n could only let out a painful laugh.
that explained it very well! much better than google lmaooo
yeah i saw another part under the google definition. basically there’s like cis-apathetic(???) idk the term but im pretty sure it’s that. like i am comfortable identifying as female (my birth sex/gender), but i don’t mind being misgendered as long as it’s respectfully.
cus i was shopping for coats with my grandma once and i had my hood on, and the store clerk told my grandma they had coats for my sister but not “him” (me) and it didn’t bother me one bit.
idk how to explain it, like i hope i’m not reaching or coming off as “i wanna be apart of the community too” because i do know that i am not straight 😃
but it’s more like... i don’t mind being called he/she/them, but i am absolutely comfortable with my body/organs rn. was that a difficult explanation 💀 except for the tatas, them hoes can detach too cus sometimes i want em but most of the time i don’t-
i’m glad! cis-apathetic is another form/way of saying gender apathy! i definitely feel you, i’m ‘comfortable’ with my assigned gender at birth (some days i am some days i’m not it’s rlly a coin flip-) but i don’t mind being called masc pronouns.
do! you’re not coming off like that at all! and tits are so- i’d like em more if i could take em off whenever i wanted to-
ooh ooh i’ll ask some gender apathetic questions!!
okay, so how is it different than non-binary, if you know? i looked up the definition for ga, but i thought it was familiar to non-binary (even though i low key feel like i’d be ga more than nb)
yay :D
basically, non binary is a spectrum, mainly for gender identities outside of the what binary genders are. non binary can also be someone who has a gender identity that can’t be categorized. many non-binary people experience different things within themselves, and even with their label. gender apathetic is definitely under the non-binary spectrum. being gender apathetic is when you don’t care how people perceive you, whether that’s male, female, or something else entirely. it’s when you know you have a gender, and you just don’t care about it or want to care about it.
many people have different experiences with being non-binary or gender apathetic and it’s pretty much all about what you feel as a person
