#alicerush

[alicerush]

a fever dream on May 5th

[alicerush]

"Sleep, young master. And I will protect you through the night." "And through the day?" "And evermore."

The quote is from Stain the Water Clear by objectlesson. I first read their fanfiction ten years ago, and it genuinely altered my brain chemistry. So much so that when nostalgia for Kuroshitsuji hit me like a freight train, I somehow found my way back to it. Reading it again a decade later, I was stunned to realize how much of it I still carry with me. The imagery, the metaphors, sometimes almost verbatim. The prose has been stitched into my soul ever since.

[alicerush]

Every day I think about how Ciel was cast into hell by human hands, and how it was the devil who caught him and delivered him from evil.

[alicerush]

I've had enough running away.

Here’s what happens when you rewatch both Kuroshitsuji and Howl’s Moving Castle over the holidays…

Rant under the cut～

Shout out to the Kuroshitsuji fandom! I haven’t been active here in over ten years, but apparently once that post-gothic phantasmagoria gets under your skin, it never truly leaves.

I was catching up on the latest seasons and the feelings hit me like a freight train. Naturally, I spiraled and rewatched everything from season one and somehow forgot just how delicious the atmosphere was?!! This was the anime that first had me by the throat, the one that inspired me to draw more back then and, somehow, it’s done it again after a long break.

I could've never imagined the paths it would lead me down, like learning the language, moving to Japan, making friends, living whole lives I didn’t even know were possible. Apparently my spirit guides speak to me through fandoms because nothing gets me moving quite like a good hyperfixation...

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I hope this piece delights you even half as much as I enjoyed making it through blood, sweat, and tears. I have so many Kuroshitsuji ideas, and I hope to slowly bring more of them to life. If nothing else, as an offering to the fandom, and to the endless well of beauty and inspiration this story continues to be.

[alicerush]

The fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress Until I wrap myself inside your arms, I cannot rest The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground

— "Howl" by Florence + The Machine

[alicerush]

they eloped to Europe and stayed until 21st century

[alicerush]

“You were destined for me. Perhaps as a punishment.” — Fyodor Dostoevsky

[alicerush]

光をのんだ少年 the boy who swallowed the 'light'