Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, angst, enemies to lovers, mentions of sex, smut, language
Part 1
A/N: I’m currently working on the continuation but I wanted to write some back story stuff because I am once again ovulating and needed more Bjorn
About 1 year ago
Bjorn watched you from the other side of the fire, feet propped up on the cooler as he took a swig of his beer. He'd been watching you talk with Rain for the last 20 minutes, you knew he was because you could feel it. You could always feel when he was staring at you.
"So, Jared told me that his uncle was able to work it out with the synthetic on that shift
and—" Tyler had been talking to Navarro who sat near Rain and yourself, explaining a possible loophole in the travel permits that he had heard in the mines earlier that day.
"Bullshit" Bjorn called out, rolling his eyes at him as he looked over, lulling his head at them. "Jared's a fuckin' lair, always has been"
"Maybe so" Tyler responded with a calmness that he always seemed to carry, "but that's not the point, the point is I think we—"
"—The point is that it's pointless cousin" Bjorn interrupted him again, "You're always blabbing on about getting out of here but it's pointless so just give it a rest and—"
"Would you shut the fuck up and let him talk" You suddenly said from your spot. Bjorn's head snapped back in your direction. The fire crackled between the two of you as you stared back at him, the orange flames dancing up. "Don't you ever get tired of being a fucking asshole?"
Tyler had always been trying to find out any and all information he could when it came to getting out of Jackson Star. He'd talk with older miners, ones that knew their way around the system or anyone who had a story they were willing to share in the quiet parts of the mines. He was able to keep his head low and gather quite a bit of information over the years with his connections.
"No I don't" He laughed, holding his beer bottle upside down above his head, catching the last drop in his mouth and then waving the empty bottle at you, "Why don't you fetch me another beer instead of running that mouth"
"Bjorn" Tyler said again, throwing his empty can at his chest. "Knock it off"
"No it's okay" You said, holding your hand up to stop Tyler from interfering before looking back to Bjorn who eyes were burning a hole through you, again, "Ya know when Tyler figures out a way to get us out of this fucking hellhole, I really hope he leaves you behind"
"Ouch" Bjorn says, holding his heart, fake offended at the comment. "How about you come over here and kiss my ass—"
"Alright guys" Kay whined from where she was curled up with a blanket, "Come on, can't we go one night without fighting?"
"She's the one that got her panties all in a twist" Bjorn chuckled, dropping his head back to look up at the perpetual dark sky above. "It's not my fault she has a crush on Tyler or somethin'"
"Bjorn shut the fuck up" Tyler scolded, his accent thick.
"You're a fuckin' dick, ya know that" You say standing from your spot and walking around the fire, pass where he was sat and into the trailer.
Everyone around that fire knew that Tyler was like a brother to you. They knew that you had known him just as long as the others in the group. They knew that after your older brother Sam died that you were destroyed and lost and that Tyler stepped up. It didn't bother you that Bjorn made the dumb comment, it bothered you that he knew just what to say to push your buttons.
You opened the bathroom door after splashing cold water on your face, hoping it would settle your anger. When you saw Bjorns smug face waiting on the other side you knew it had not.
He was leaned against the wall in the small hallway, his beer hanging dangerously loose between his fingers.
"Can I help you?"
"You can move out of my way" He says, pushing himself off the wall and squeezing beside where you stood in the doorway.
But he stopped halfway, his body pinning you against the doorframe. His breath smelled of Aspen beer and cigarette smoke. There was a silence that came, neither of you making a move to leave. His free hand came up to tug on a strand of your hair that had fallen from its braid.
"They are literally right outside" You whispered through clenched teeth, but still moved closer when Bjorn leaned down. He pushed you back against the doorframe and was suddenly kissing you hard.
Your hesitation quickly faded as you began to sink into the kiss, his hand dropping to grab your waist and to pull you closer. He kisses you hungrily, the pent up desire and tension between you exploding to life.
"This is a bad idea" You say when you manage to break the kiss, only to reconnect again. As much as you hated him, the feel and taste of him were intoxicating.
Bjorn's lips move down to your neck, biting and sucking at the sensitive skin there, earning a moan to slip from your lips. He was moving quick and rough as if he couldn't control himself.
"Yeah" He said between kisses, moving from your neck to your jaw, "It is"
Despite the rational part of your mind nagging at you, you couldn't bring yourself to stop. Not when you had him like this. Not when you could feel just how badly he wanted you.
He takes control, moving both of you into the bathroom. It was small, like all the rest of the trailers but he didn't mind as he dug his fingers into your waist and pushed you back against the sink. You heard his beer bottle clink as he sat it beside you. With both his hands free he was able to hold you in place firmly between him and the counter.
You spread your legs, enough for him to stand between them, closer to you. He takes the hint and fills in the gap as he moved back to your lips. You feel his tongue slide against yours and you tilt your head to give him more access. One of his hands leaves your waist and travels down between your legs before he begins rubbing on your inner thigh. When you sigh against his lips, he smirks. He knows he has you right where he wants you. Just as you feel his fingers slide closer to your core the front door opens. You both hear it, freezing completely. In the sudden stillness you could feel his hot breaths fanning over your lips.
"Hello? Where are you guys?" Navarros voice calls out and you hear footsteps moving toward the bathroom.
Fuck. You push Bjorn away from you, shoving him toward the toilet and quickly spin, turning the knob of the faucet to full blast.
"Hey—oh uh, what's going on in here?" Navarro takes in the scene, leaning up against the frame of the door where you had just been pressed with Bjorn all over you. She looks between you two. Bjorn standing over the toilet as if he had just pissed and you standing at the sink, scrubbing your hands.
You hope she doesn't notice the flush in your face as you met her gaze in the reflection of the mirror. "I was washing my hands and he wouldn't wait"
You gestured to Bjorn who tugged at his pants as if he were zipping up the crotch and then fully turning toward the both of you. "Yeah well when you gotta go"
There was an awkward silence, all three of you standing and staring at each other. You shut off the water and wiped your dripping hands on your dry pants.
"What is this a peep show?" Bjorn asks grabbing his beer from the sink beside you and flushing the empty toilet, "Can ya both get out of my fucking way?"
Annnnnd he's back.
No matter how many times this happened you were always surprised at just how quickly he could jump back to his asshole self. Like a switch was flipped.
"Classic Bjorn" Navarro said, rolling her eyes and following him back down the hall and out the door, attempting to put him in a choke hold.
You heard the door close and braced yourself on the counter of the sink. You examined the red marks on your neck and the red shade of your lips, hoping that Navarro was too drunk to notice. You took your hair out of its braid and moved it to cover the mark before adjusting your hoodie to help aid in the concealment.
"What are you doing?" You asked yourself in the mirror.
You'd known Bjorn as long as you'd known the others. He was Tyler's cousin, part of the group that you'd come to love. He'd always picked on you. But as you got to know him more it turned into full on wars. No get together was complete without some sort of argument between the two of you. Bjorn was scrappy, he had always been. Aside from Tyler, you were the only one who would call him on his bullshit or attempt to shut him up.
The first time he'd made a move on you, you were both drunk. Everyone else had gone to sleep but the two of you still sat next to each other on an old sofa by the fire. He had started an argument about Andy, well more so synthetics in general and you were mad. You knew where Bjorn was coming from after what happened to his mom but Andy was not like the others. Bjorn knew that too, but when he got drunk he got sad and remembered what was responsible for his mother's death. Nevertheless the two of you had gotten into it, no worse than what's happened in the past.
You called him a self righteous asshole.
He leaned over and kissed you.
You pulled away and slapped him hard across his face. You couldn’t believe he had done that after the way he treated you all these years. You had stared at him dumbfounded that he'd crossed that line, but then you were catapulting over that line. You took his beer and threw it over the back of the couch and moved to straddle his lap. He was nervous you were going to hit him again until you leaned down and caught his lips in a kiss. You were pleasantly surprised to find that he was a good kisser, although you’d always assumed by the looks of his plump lips. That night had only been a drunk hookup on a dirty couch but it was enough to get you both hooked on the idea of each other and going further.

That's when you both devised the plan of keeping the hook ups a secret from the others. You both knew you just liked fucking each other; nothing more, nothing less.
After you gathered yourself in Tyler's bathroom mirror you forced yourself to join the others back outside. They were still sat around the fire, laughing at a joke that someone had made. You sat back down next to Rain and pulled your sleeves over your hands nervously before joining into the conversation.
You pretended not to notice Bjorn staring at you, again.
•
A couple of nights later you had your legs around Bjorns waist while he pushed your back against his trailer door.
You had just barely crossed the threshold of his trailer before the door was shut behind you. He had reached over and locked it before pulling you into him. His hands hooked behind your thighs and you were lifted in the air, before catching yourself around his waist.
Early that day you two had gotten into yet another argument at Tyler's and soon after you left he'd called you, asking to meet up. You were still pissed at him and contemplated ignoring him but you found yourself walking the familiar path to his trailer.
"I think there's something wrong with you" You said against his mouth as his hands gripped the fabric over your ass.
"You think?"
"Mhm" You hummed, grabbing his head and pulling it back so you had full access to the skin there. You dragged your tongue along his jaw before going further down knowing it drove him crazy. "Do you get turned on when we fight or something?“
"Maybe" He laughed, his Adams Apple bobbing as he spoke. "Maybe I like seeing you all fired up"
You bit playfully at his collar bone before working your way back up his neck, leaving a wet trail.
He added, "But there's something wrong with you too"
"How so?" You asked, as you pulled your head back to look at him.
He leaned forward, trying to kiss you again but you moved your head back further, as much as you could will the wall behind you, tempting him. He rolled his eyes at you, "You're here even after I called you a crazy bitch earlier"
"Well—" You started but stopped yourself. He was right, you were here. No matter what was said during stupid arguments with him you always ended up coming when he called. But it wasn't because him insulting you turned you on, well not completely, "I guess we're both fucked up"
This time you were leaning into him, locking your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to you. He tossed you up slightly, so he could get a better grip on you before leaving the wall and heading towards his bedroom.
He somehow managed to push the door open and walk around the piles of clothes and boxes in the room without looking, his lips locked with yours. You had known that this room used to be his mother's and you knew that he was having a hard time going through her things, deciding if he should keep stuff or give it away. When he wasn't being a dick he would confide in the group over a beer or dinner. But it was rare.
He tossed you on the bed effortlessly, pulling his shirt of his head in a swift motion before coming down to hover over top of you.
"You really pissed me off today" You say before he can kiss you again, putting your finger against his lips to stop him.
"I could tell," He replies, taking your finger between his teeth and biting it gently as he looked down at you. "It's not everyday you try to throw a glass bottle at my head. Tyler almost had a conniption"
"Well" You giggle, remembering the look on Tyler's face when the bottle missed Bjorn's head and crashed into the wall instead, shattering into pieces. You wet your lips, weaving your hands through his hair. Once you had a fistful you tugged on it just enough to get a reaction from him. "If you weren't such a dick all the time—"
"—Such a feisty little thing," He interrupted in a low voice, his accent thick "Can't decide if you want to hit me or fuck me, huh?"
“Shut the fuck up" You laughed as you tugged his hair again this time harder, pulling him down closer to you. He was shoving his tongue in your mouth the second your lips touched again. He was a messy kisser that much you had learned in the past few weeks. Some things came as no surprise to you like the way he whined when he was close or the fact that he liked to be dominant. It made sense given his personality.
One of the things that always surprised you, no matter how many rendezvouses took place was that he managed to get you off, everytime. It was part of the reason you kept coming back. It was something you weren't used to after being with only one guy before you started hooking up with Bjorn. The dating pool wasn't exactly thriving on Jackson star. It surprised you that he cared enough to make sure you got off at all considering he was a dick the majority of the time you were around him.
He pulled back from you, standing up off the bed and pulling your boots off before tugging your pants down your legs. Once they were off you sat up in the bed watching him undo his belt and jump out of his pants, leaving him in his boxers. You pulled your shirt over your head and tossed it at him before lying back down against his pillows.
The two of you had developed a sort of routine at this point. You were both efficient with each other and everyone left happy. It was a good system.
When he crawled back over you he had slid a hand under your bra and kissed at the skin that was exposed. You bit at your lip knowing he would end up leaving hickey in his wake. But you didn't mind him leaving marks where no one would see.
"That reminds me" You say, feeling his mouth over your nipple after he had pulled the garment down to give him full access. "You gave me a hickey the other night"
"No I didn't" He mumbled as he nibbled at you skin.
"Yes you did, in the bathroom at Tyler's" You argued, moving your hair and showing him the skin of your neck.
He huffed at you, lifting his head to look. He touched the spot with his finger. It was fading now but was big enough to cause an issue for you the last couple of days. "Oops"
"No 'oops', this can't happen" You scold, gesturing to the hickey. "Plus Navarro almost walked in and saw— what were you thinking?"
“You talk too much” He whispered, blowing softly at your now wet nipple, sending a chill down your spine.
“Don't try to distract me" You whined, as he slid his hand down your stomach and began to rub at your already moist panties. You rolled your head on the pillow, biting at your lip.
"I couldn't control myself" He whispered against your ear, dropping to that same spot on your neck and biting it again. Of course you let him. "If I had to go another minute I was gonna lose it"
Then as he watched your eyes roll back at his touch, he added, "I would've loved to bend you over that sink and—"
"— listen dumbass if you—" You began to say but was cut off by your own moan as he surprised you and slid his fingers under the fabric.
"What was that?" He teased watching as you covered your mouth with your hand, in an effort to silence yourself. When you ignored him he continued, "Who knew it was that easy to get you to shut the fuck up"
You could've unfolded completely just as his touch. He was surprisingly good with his fingers but you would never admit that to him, the last thing he needed was a bigger ego. You chalked it up to the callouses he'd developed after working in the mines for so many years.
When he stopped you were already out of breath, watching as he pushed his boxers down and slid himself along your entrance. He was already hard and dripping in precum. He teased you for a moment before pushing all the way into you. He gave you a minute to adjust to him, his face buried into your shoulder, biting the skin there as he tried to control himself.
Once you gave him the okay he thrusted into you with calculated rhythm. You fisted the blanket beside you as he grabbed the wall for support and picked up his pace. He moved your leg to the side opening you up even further before he hit a sweet spot. He came first losing his rhythm completely and sloppily pounding into you. You could feel him unload inside of you, mixing with your juices. He adjusted his position, grabbing a pillow and placing it under your lower back, giving him the perfect angle that he knew got you every time. He moved slow and methodically now as he simultaneously rubbed at your clit with his thumb. He positioned himself closer to you, leaning down slightly. You gripped his arm as he thrusted inside you. It didn’t take long before he managed to hit the perfect spot and as he did you hit your climax with the help of his moaning in your ear. Something about it, as whiny as it was, made you feral. He came a 2nd time at the feeling of you clenching around him and your nails on his skin.
You never worried about him releasing inside of you, not when the company had a sort of birth control pill that the women of the colony were offered. You'd been on it for as long as you could remember.
Once he had felt you finish, he fell on top of you, with his face buried into your chest. You could feel him twitch inside of you as you both heaved heavy breaths attempting to come down from the high.
After several minutes you felt him pull out of you and slide his boxers back up and over himself. He rolled off you, immediately reaching over to his night stand. He fumbled with a lighter and cigarette before bringing it to his lips and taking a long drag.
He didn't bother offering you one, he knew you didn't smoke. You lay next to him, feeling wetness between your legs. You hated that you felt weird after hooking up with him. A profound sadness that lingered after he was done with you. Already missing him, even when he was right next to you.
It was something you had to consciously stop yourself from thinking about. You hated him. The sex was just sex. You didn't have feelings for him.
You adjusted your bra back up to cover your boobs and lifted your ass to pull your underwear back up. You watched him blow a smoke ring.
"You’re getting better at that" You teased, turning and looking at his bare chest littered with random tattoos.
"Mhmm" He gave you a smirk, coughing slightly as he exhaled, "I still have more in me, if you wanna go for a round 2"
"You wish" You laughed, looking away from him, "I've got a shift in an hour"
You thought he might say something else, or even flirt with you, after all he had just fucked you. But he focused on a spot on the roof and took another drag.
You sit up on his bed, a sign that you would be leaving soon. You wanted to ask him about the boxes and if he needed help sorting through things but it felt wrong. You weren’t close like that. After a minute he taps the ashes on a plate and looks over to you, "Did you mean what you said?"
You climbed over him, feeling suddenly self conscious after what you'd just done with him. You wish he would've pulled you back into bed or even reached out and touched your arm, anything, but he didn't. This is how it always went and part of the reason why you never stayed afterwards.
"I say a lot of things" You turn away from him sliding your pants back up your legs and over your ass. As you button them you turn to face him. "You gotta be more specific"
"The other day at Tyler's" He explained, moving his arm behind his head to prop himself up, he watched you as he took another drag, blowing the smoke out, "At the fire you said that you hoped Tyler found a way out of here and left me behind"
Oh. You did say that.
You grabbed your shirt from his floor before pulling it on. You sighed, feeling his eyes on you. You sat on one of the boxes that was taped down to put your boots on. "Of course I didn't mean it"
"It seemed like you meant it" He said causally, flicking the ashes again.
"Did you mean it when you said I had a crush on Tyler?" You rebuttal, after lacing both of the boots up and looking over at him.
"No" He replied after a minute, "I just wanted to piss off"
You nodded, standing up and catching your reflection in his mirror, seeing the mark on your neck now fresh again. "I wish you wouldn't do that"
You meant it for the hickey but also for what he admitted; that he said things just to piss you off.
"I know" He said simply, bringing the cigarette back to his lips as he watched you head for the door of his room.
"I'll see you later" You said, heading down his hallway and out his front door.
As you walked back to your trailer you hoped no one saw you leaving Bjorns. The way you felt inside was hard to understand. You thought you should stop what you are doing with Bjorn, knowing everything ends one way or another, but you couldn't.
It would go on another couple of months. The feeling of passion and craving each other and then after the feeling of complete disdain. Always ending with you walking home with a pit in your stomach.
You would do anything to be with Bjorn like that, even if he didn't feel anything for you.
A/N: I've got Spike Fearn fever y'all. I wasn't going to post this but here we are. I had the idea a while back but only started writing it while I was ovulating this week. It's pretty long but I didn't feel like trying to split it into multiple parts and I did my best to proofread it. Might do a 2nd part to continue because of the way I ended this one but who knows :)
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, Accidental pregnancy, fluff, angst, enemies to lovers to parents??, mentions of sex, smut, language.
It wasn’t a secret that you and Bjorn weren’t fans of each other. You thought he was a smartass the second he opened his mouth when Tyler had introduced you to everyone. Of course that was many years ago. Overtime the two of you warmed up to each other well enough but the rest of the group had witnessed the two of you go for blood over late night drinks around the fire or during casual hang outs in the trailer.
You didn't hate him all the time, but he had this ability to get under your skin like no one else you'd known in the colony. But there was something that seemed to draw you to him especially when you’d been drinking. What started as heated arguments around the fire turned into steamy late night hookups in his trailer.
The first time you'd thought it was just a moment of drunken confusion and frustration but by the third or fourth time you'd decided it was pure sexual tension. It was clear that neither of you hated the time you were spending together so in the privacy of his trailer you made two rules: No one can find out and no feelings; just sex.
The two of you had been hooking up on and off for about five months when you came to the horrifying realization that you were pregnant after you’d stolen a test from the market.
In the days that followed you avoided everyone. You’d tried to figure out a way to get rid of it but by the time you’d found out you’d been too far along for anything to work aside from killing yourself, which did cross your mind during a particularly weak moment. You refused to go to medical, they wouldn’t do anything. They wanted the people to procreate, keep Jackson Star “thriving”. You’d fallen into a depression coming up with excuses that you couldn’t hang out with the group or work your scheduled shifts, not being able to bring yourself to face them or even leave the comfort of your trailer.
You hated yourself.
And hated Bjorn even more.
Days had passed after you'd locked yourself away from the colony. One by one familiar voices had come from the other side of the locked door pleading for you to let them in. You refused even when Tyler threatened to break it down.
That's when you came up with the excuse of being sick with a virus and not wanting to infect them. It worked but they still tried to convince you let them in to take care of you. Eventually they gave up when they realized you weren’t letting them in. But it didn’t stop Tyler from calling you everyday, given it was the only way you’d speak to him. It was easier than seeing him in person and it provided him some peace of mind.
About two weeks had passed when you found yourself with debilitating morning sickness that kept you on the bathroom floor. You hadn’t been able to keep anything down in days and received several calls regarding your rent being late and missing work.
It was nearly 2 am when an incessant banging came from the other side of the door. You were exhausted but awake, sitting next to the toilet on the floor and holding your throbbing head in your hands. You hadn’t heard the loud sound at first, too busy being locked inside your head. But after a couple minutes when it didn't go away you managed to lift yourself from the floor and make your way to the door. At this point you kinda hoped it was Tyler or Kay, someone to help you.
Instead in the doorway stood the familiar silhouette of the last person you wanted to see, illuminated by the flood lights and ships behind him.
"Tyler wasn't kiddin' ya do look like shit"
You knew you were in rough shape. You hadn't been able to stand long enough to shower after being nauseous for days and you wore the same shirt and shorts for the past week. You clutched the side of door for support while you watched him. "What do you want?"
He'd tried reaching out the same way the others had, secretly sending private messages but you never responded to him. You planned on not telling him at all, avoiding him as long as you could. You thought it would be best to come up with some lie about a different guy knocking you up.
“I thought you might be dead" He joked, taking in your disheveled appearance as you stared back at him. He had stubble on his chin and the same dark hoodie that he always wore. "You don't look good"
"Thanks, captain obvious" You mutter, using what little energy you could to push the door shut and shut him out.
He'd stuck his boot between the door and the frame at the last second, preventing it from closing, and pushed it back opened carefully, tilting his head at you, "What's goin' on with you?"
"Nothing, Bjorn–I’m really not in the mood—”
You cut yourself off, throwing your hand over your mouth and rushing to the bathroom. You'd made it in time to vomit up the small amount of water you'd drank only minutes before Bjorn had come knocking on the door.
You’re head was spinning as you heard the door close. You squeezed your eyes shut hoping that he left until you hear footsteps walking toward the bathroom.
"How long have you been like this?" His voice echoes in the room as he stands awkwardly in the doorway, watching you doubled over above the toilet.
“Couple of days” You managed to say before dry heaving over the toilet.
He cleared his throat awkwardly from where he stood. “Uh- what was the last thing you ate?"
You sat back against the bathtub beside the toilet and shook the cup of water at him slightly, hoping he understood that you had only managed water. You couldn't remember the last time you'd actually eaten.
“You need to see a doctor"
"No"
"What do you mean no—"
“—I’m not going to a doctor” You interrupted, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and staring at the floor where he stood with his muddy shoes. “I’m fine”
“Ok, well you’re not fine, look– you’re sick with somethin’ and if–"
"Stop” You snap, smoothing your hair down and shutting your eyes.
"No you stop" Bjorn argues, taking a step further into the bathroom. "Do you know how worried everyone’s been? For fucks sake, if Tyler knew you were like this then he would be livid”
“Please” Your voice is raw against your dry throat, “Just leave”
Bjorn scoffs and nods mockingly, running his hand over his face. "Alright, listen I'm not fighting with you, get your ass up"
He takes two big steps and kneels down in front of you, reaching out his hands to help you up, "Let’s go-"
"Don't touch me" You visibly flinch at his touch and push him hard in the chest with what little strength you had left. He loses his balance and falls on his ass in a heap. "I don't need anything from anyone, especially you, so just leave me the fuck alone”
His eyes are wide, flaring with anger and staring at you, surprised at your sudden outburst. "What the fuck is wrong with you? For fucks sake, I'm just tryin’ to help—"
“Trying to help, huh?" A dry laugh leaves your sore throat. Your body is overcome with a rage. You want to reach over and slap him but instead you take a breath and look toward the small trashcan in the bathroom.
Before you can stop yourself, you are reaching over and rummaging through it tossing the snot-soaked tissues out before you see it nestled in the bottom of the bin. Your fingers grasp the hard plastic and launch the stick at his chest before you can think. He manages to catch it before it falls to the ground.
“The fuck is this?" He asks, staring at it as he flips it between his slender fingers.
“I know you're not that stupid"
His face changes the moment he realizes. The look in his eyes falters and a silence falls over the room. Regret washes over you, the same regret for all the things you did with him to get you to this moment. You’d spent the last couple of days wondering what it would be like to tell him or how he would react if you'd decided to tell him. Now you felt feel like throwing up again.
"It's yours"
You don’t know why you clarified it; he knew that you hadn’t been seeing anyone. You rarely spoke to anyone outside of the group.
After several minutes pass you watch him set the test down on the floor next to him as he scoots back until he makes contact with the open door against the wall. He leans his head back and runs a hand over his face.
It was the quietest you had ever seen him.
"I wasn't going to tell you but I-well” The tremble in your voice betrays you and the sound of your own heartbeat pounds in your ears, “Listen— I don't expect anything from you"
He looks over to you then, his blue eyes are blank and the expression on his face is unreadable. You felt hot tears burning your cheeks and knew that the guard you’d been keeping up was crumbling down around you.
"C'here" He says barely above a whisper as he shifts on the floor, extending his legs and gesturing toward you. Your body moves on autopilot crawling over to him and immediately tucking your head into his shoulder. His arm comes around your body, holding you tight in place against him.
“I tried to get rid of it” You admit, body shaking as you cried harder. You didn’t bother trying to compose yourself not after you had spent countless nights crying alone in the dark. “— It’s too late, I’m stuck”
He swallowed hard and opened his mouth to speak before closing it again, like he was unsure of what to say. After a minute passed you heard his voice in your ears, "It’s okay"
It wasn’t okay. And it would never be okay. But you didn't say that, instead you moved from his shoulder, seeing the dark wet stains you’d left and lowered yourself so you could lay your head on his lap. You adjusted slightly on the cold tile, turning to face toward his stomach and curling your legs into a fetal position.
He stiffened under you. The two of you had never been close in an emotional sense. But after a minute passed, you felt his hand come down to carefully push away the hair that was sticking to your wet face.
You'd managed to calm down enough to speak again as the sound of the trailer humming took up the space between the two of you.
“It’s a death sentence, ya know” You sniffled, voice echoing in the room as you clutched the material at the bottom of his hoodie.
He didn't correct you, he knew exactly what you meant. By having a baby you would be contributing to the cycle of the colony. You were their slaves and now you would be growing their future slave. You’d never reach your quota, never leave. You would have to watch your baby be raised on a planet that had no sun, no fresh air, no hope. You’d die here.
His hand moved to rub up and down your exposed arm, an attempt at soothing you. You would never admit to him, but it was working. You felt better with him being there. You hated telling him but it felt better knowing you weren't the only one carrying this burden.
He didn't speak again as your heavy eye lids closed and you listened to his breathing, feeling the rise and fall of his stomach.
You didn't need him to say anything else, not when there wasn't anything that could be said to fix this mess.
*
A couple more weeks had passed when you started to feel like yourself again. You were eating normal and trying to work up the courage to see your friends. You'd successfully managed to avoid them as you started back on your shifts, knowing the longer you took off the more your quota would be raised.
You hadn't seen Bjorn since the night you confessed the situation to him. He had stayed with you until you had fallen asleep but when you woke up, he was gone. He had given you a pillow and blanket from the couch and left a can of soup with a spoon on the floor next to you. The first couple of days you figured he needed space but then the days continued to tick by and there was no contact from him. You knew this would happen.
Apparently it wasn't just you he was avoiding. Tyler had called a couple of days ago and asked if you'd seen or heard from him. He said he hadn’t seen him and he wasn’t responding to any messages. He hadn’t been at any of his shifts in the mines. Tyler was worried, he always was. He was the oldest of the group of friends and felt like he needed to protect everyone. He mentioned that he thought he might be shacked up with some girl or locked up in the company jail.
You were just glad that he hadn't told Tyler or the others about your situation, otherwise they would've been banging down your door.
You still weren’t ready to face them so your new lie was that you were working double shifts and overtime to make up for the time you had been sick and unable to work, which wasn't necessarily a lie. Tyler understood but he didn’t like it, worried you would work yourself to death. Every time you spoke on the phone with him you felt the overwhelming need to tell him but you just weren’t ready. You knew he’d be disappointed.
You carried on with life the next couple of days with your mundane schedule. It was another late night. You’d just gotten off a shift in the mines and showered when a banging sounded. You'd thought it was the thunder from the storm outside by the sound of the rain that was pounding on the metal roof but after a minute the banging came again.
You walked to the door, moving your towel dried hair off your shoulder, “Who is it?”
“Open up” The familiar accent replied and you rested your forehead against the door, debating if you should or not.
You hesitantly turned the lock seeing Bjorn standing on the other side soaking wet with the rain splashing in the puddles around him.
"What are you doing here?" You say opening the door more, standing just inside the doorframe to avoid getting wet.
His mouth opens but snaps close as he stares. He looks around, with an expression you can’t place.
"Bjorn, go home" You dismiss rolling your eyes. Your hand was already on the door, moving to close it. You'd accepted the fact that this was happening with or without him; and at this point you'd rather it be without “You're drunk”
"I ain't drunk" His voice comes out in a sudden shout and he takes a couple big steps to stand on the metal steps of your trailer. Water was dripping from his hair and running down his face.
"Then what," Your voice raises, and you don't realize that you stepped out from the door frame until you feel the water dripping on the skin of your arms. "What the fuck do you want?"
He runs a hand over his face, an attempt to gather his thoughts or to rid it of water droplets, you weren't sure. After a couple seconds he sighs, "I just wanna talk"
"Oh you wanna talk huh?" You laugh even though there was nothing even remotely funny about this situation. In a flash, you are stepping closer to him and shoving at his chest. "What could you possibly want to talk about?"
He stumbles back on the steps but comes right back, even when you shove him again.
"Are we doing this?" He asks suddenly, capturing your hands before you can shove him a third time. It catches you off guard. There's a sound of thundering in the distance and it makes your head turn, bringing you back to the moment. He's standing closer to you now, close enough that you can smell the scent of the rain mixed with his sweat. His blue eyes are scanning over your face.
"What are you talking about?" You were growing more annoyed by the second.
"Are we doing this?" He repeats, fingers still clasped around your wrists. Then he blinks realizing he wasn't making much sense, "For the baby"
You ripped your hands away from him and spun on your feet. Your bare feet stomped up the two metal steps and back through the door, slamming it behind you without bothering to turn around. He was hot on your heels, managing to stop the door before it shut and now dripping water on the floor of the trailer.
"It's a simple question" He pleads, slamming the door shut behind him as you hear it connect with a bang you turn to face him.
"A simple question" You mock throwing your hands up in the air. "I don't want anything from you"
A silence falls over the trailer and you are fighting with everything in you to hold back the tears that were brimming. You could never fight without crying, didn't matter who it was. You were far too passionate of a person to control emotions in an argument, especially with Bjorn.
"You don't mean that" Bjorn responds quickly. He opens his mouth again but before he can speak you cut him off, crossing the room to stand right in front of him.
"I do, I really do” You sigh, “I’m done with your shit”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
“I told you and you left. You disappeared for two weeks and then wanna show up and talk about it” You growl, jabbing your finger into his chest with each word. “So how about you do what you do best and fuck off because I don’t need you"
"No" He raises his voice again, the same way he did outside. He easily towers over you but that doesn't scare you. You were one of the few people in his life that could go toe to toe with him, aside from Tyler.
"I don't know what you want from me!" You shout, feeling tears sting your eyes and slide down your already rain-soaked cheeks. "I should have never of told you”
"No—I had a right to know! You should have told me as soon as you found out—"
"I’m glad I didn’t, because I knew you would do this. I knew you would act this way! You went and fucked off and got drunk or whatever you fuckin’ do. It's been weeks Bjorn!" You shouted at him, shoving his chest again. "This was a mistake”
You took a breath and before he could respond you added, “There isn't a single part of you that's ready for this"
"You don't get to decide that" He yells back, turning and walking several feet away from you in the living room. He takes a hard breath and turns back to you, voice slightly calmer, "Look I guess I fucked up but I needed to think—“
"You always fuck everything up" You accuse, laughing with a venom you didn’t know you possessed.
He digests what you say, turning his head to look at anything in the room but you, his jaw twitching.
"Leave" You choke out, walking away from him and heading down the small hall that led to your bedroom.
"Me? I fuck everything up?" There’s a couple beats of silence before he calls after you with a cynical chuckle. "Do you actually believe the shit that comes outta your mouth?"
You're almost to your room when you spin back around to look at him. He's followed you and stands just a couple feet away in the narrow space of the hall.
"Yes!" You scream throwing your hands up again. "We should have never of been fuckin' around in the first place and we wouldn't be in this mess"
"No shit. You aren't innocent in this either ya know, you wanna act all hard, but guess what" Bjorn growls as he points an accusatory finger at you, "I see right fuckin' through you, you're just as scared”
"I am scared" You admit, screaming as you push at him again. He only stands there and takes it, absorbing your hits like they are nothing. "I'm scared and I’m so fuckin' angry"
"So am I" He screams back.
You could've heard a pin drop at the sudden silence that came. He lets out a defeated breath and stands with his back against the wall. After a minute he slides down it and sits on the floor.
His words sit in your chest. A part of you wanted to lash out at him, to shove all the pain back at him with full force, but there was something under the surface, the jarring look in his eyes, the way he seemed like he wanted to crawl into himself.
It tugged at your heart in a way you never thought it could. The sudden realization that he felt the same as you did.
Your gaze softens as you watch him. Your cheeks are still hot but you start to feel the anger leave your body. After a minute, you follow suit backing up against the wall opposite of him and sliding down to the floor.
The hall was skinny, and his long legs were outstretched in front of him, his shoes touching the wall beside you. Your legs weren’t nearly as long, your bare feet stopping by his thigh.
"I don't want to fight with you" You admit quietly, staring at the blank wall beside his head.
He lifts his head to look at you, “I don’t wanna fight with you either”
He nudges his leg against yours softly, in an effort to clear the tension in the air, "The damage is already done"
"Yeah" You let out a quiet laugh, this time there is no malice behind it, "A lot of damage a couple months can do, huh?"
The corners of his mouth twitch at the comment. He takes a breath, flexing his hands on his rain soaked jeans. “We have to figure something out"
You nod, taking your lip between your teeth and chewing at it nervously. You could feel the damp material of his jeans pressing into the side of your leg.
"So, we’re doing this?" He asks the same question as before, except now you feel more hopeful.
You nod again, watching in confusion as he holds his hand out across to you. "What is this a business deal?"
He chuckles, rolling his head on the wall behind him before looking back at you with a goofy smile. "More like a truce"
You ponder for a minute, looking at the tattooed hand in front of you before you lean forward and slide your hand into it. He squeezes your hand reassuringly before moving it in a firm shake.
Not long after that night, he'd offered for you to move in with him. He knew you were behind on your rent and soon they would evict you. You refused even when he makes the argument that he has extra room after his mom had died. But when a synthetic comes to your door and explains that you had two options; Take out a loan in the form of additional quota or move out, you decided to take him up on the offer.
Bjorn sleeps on the couch, giving you what used to be his mom’s room. His mother had died two cycles ago and he had moved into her room once he came to terms with her not coming back. You felt guilty but he assured you that he had always preferred the couch. You assured him that this was just a temporary setup until you managed to get back on your feet.
The first couple weeks living with him were awkward, especially sleeping in the bed where you had conceived the baby during one of your many drunken hookups. Even when the two of you were hooking up you'd never actually slept over at his place, usually doing the deed and then leaving afterward.
He helped you move the last of your things into his trailer and you turned your keys in to the company. It was hard, the last piece of your old life and memories that you shared with your family now gone.
You continue to work in the mines even when Bjorn makes it clear that he doesn't like it. He'd rather you not work down there in your condition, but you didn't care. You refused to put the burden of yourself and the baby on him completely. You made it clear that you would work until you weren’t physically able to anymore.
After a month passes you go back to normal hanging out with the others as if nothing had changed. You knew you couldn't avoid them forever so the two of you decide to keep this secret for as long as possible. You hated lying to them, but you weren't ready to share the news. You both knew it would come with questions that you weren't ready to answer.
Of course, they found it strange that the two of you were living together after previously not being able to be in the same room without arguing, but they never said much about it after they heard you'd been evicted from your trailer. It was logical considering Bjorn had the extra room. They hadn’t noticed when you opted for soda rather than beer or when the bickering between you and Bjorn seemed to stop completely.
You felt more comfortable living together as time went on, falling into a routine. You both worked your required hours in the mines, and you noticed that Bjorn had picked up extra shifts a couple of times during the week, even though you'd asked him not to. The last thing you wanted was for him to work himself to death. Of course, he didn't listen.
With the extra hours wearing on him, he'd been going and drinking to wind down after work. You didn't blame him, you'd done the same thing, back when you could. It was one of the things that took the edge off of this life.
Most nights he would stumble in drunk and rummage through the kitchen for food and then he would pass out on his couch. He never bothered you. But he also never asked about the baby. It didn't bother you much. That is until one night when you were about 3 months pregnant.
You had been particularly irritable as you lie awake in the bed waiting to hear the door open and close. It was late and the fourth night this week that he’d been out.
When he finally came through the door your data watch read 2AM. You heard his footsteps toward the kitchen and decided to get out of bed and follow the noise.
He had the lights on, and the cabinets open with his back to you. His back muscles flexed under his thin shirt as he reached inside, pushing the food aside looking for something to eat.
"Have a good night?"
He jumps at the sound of your voice, spinning around to see you standing in the low light.
"Fuck, you scared me" He laughed turning back to the cabinet and shutting it louder than intended. He paused, realizing how loud he was being, "Shit, did I wake you up?"
"Couldn't sleep" You sighed, moving to lean against the counter near him and cross your arms over your chest. "I was wondering where you were. Thought you went AWOL again"
You didn't really. But the memory of him disappearing after telling him about the baby always lingered in your head. You always wondered how close he was to vanishing again.
His blue eyes watched you from where he stood. He shrugged, ignoring your comment, "You should get some sleep"
He moved to walk past you but you catch his arm with your cold hand. He stops in his tracks, looking at it on his skin and then meeting your eyes. The hum of the small fridge filled the room and the faulty light flickered slightly from above, the way it always did.
“I know it’s not none of my business, but–“ You sigh nervously, not wanting to come across as if you cared, "Is this how it's always going to be?"
"What?" He asks with a sigh. He was tired, you could see it on his face.
"I dunno, not knowing where you are or what's going on in your head" You say quietly, adding, “You keeping me at arm's length"
"I've had a long day—"
"Yeah, I know. But I didn't ask you to pick up the extra shifts. I didn't ask you to move in here" You still held his arm, "If I could go out and drink this away, trust me I would"
Bjorn's jaw clenches, and you can see the internal struggle playing out on his face. "Y/n, I’m trying my best here, I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing" He finally says, his voice quiet.
"I know you are" You drop your hand from his arm, bringing it back to your lap and looking down at it. "I don’t know what to do either. All I know is this is never going to work if we can’t communicate. You're the only person I have right now, the only one who knows what's going on and I still feel alone"
He glances at your stomach, then at your lips, “I’m sorry”
“I’m not trying to take over your life, I just want to fit into it better, something that feels normal, I guess” You ramble, feeling embarrassed for confronting him, sounding like a lonely wife.
"I'm sorry" He says again as he draws closer to you, arms coming on either side of the counter behind you, caging you in. He's close enough now that you can smell the alcohol on his breath. You look up at him as he leans in agonizingly slow, making your breath hitch in your throat, before whispering, "We should go back to what we know"
His lips barely press against yours before you are moving your hands to his neck and pulling him into you. The familiar feel of his lips makes your knees weak. He doesn't push you, letting you take the lead, giving you the chance to stop it. But you don’t stop it.
His hands fall to your hips, squeezing them slightly before he lifts you onto the counter with ease. The cold surface against the warmth of your thighs made you gasp. He took the opportunity to slide his tongue over your lip before gaining access. He tasted of liquor as he explored your mouth. You instinctively spread your legs as he moved to stand between them, the rough fabric of his jeans dragging against your inner thighs and making you moan against his mouth. You felt him smirk against you.
This was the one thing you two had always been good at. The only time you truly had chemistry and listened to each other. It'd been so long since you had last had him like this, after finding out about the accident you both vowed it was all a mistake that would not happen again. But here you were.
But it felt natural and intoxicating and you loved it. The way his lips molded perfectly against yours and his fingers knew just what to do. But he was drunk. And this is how you'd gotten into this mess in the first place. If you wanted this to work then the best thing to do would be to keep sexual feelings out of it.
As much as you didn't want to you turned your head, breaking the seal of his lips against yours and putting a firm hand against his chest. He hadn’t noticed, moving to your neck as he pushed the hair out of the way, kissing along the skin there. You're eyes rolled back, loving the way he felt on your skin.
"If we want this co-parenting thing to work then we can't do this" You choked out, moving your hands to his waist, pushing him away slightly.
"We always get along better after we do this" He mumbled against your neck, sending chills down your body. He was nibbling softly at the skin there, sliding his tongue over it afterwards.
"We can't risk this messing things up between us" You said, hands still on his waist urging you to pull him back against you. "If we truly want what's best for this baby then we can't"
You knew at the end of the day the attraction you felt for each other was just hormones. You knew he didn’t love you, it was part of the reason you two had hid your hookups in the first place. Neither of you wanted anything serious with each other, it would never work. You had a hard time imagining him as a father, much less a steady boyfriend.
He dropped his forehead to your shoulder and sighed. His breath fanned over your now wet skin, leaving goosebumps.
Finally he takes a deep breath and stands up straight, his lips red and slightly swollen, eyes searching yours. With your place on the counter you were easily his same height, able to look directly at him.
“We’ve never been friends” You say, reaching out to fix a piece of hair that was sticking to his forehead, “I think it’s time we try”
*
At 3 months pregnant you started experiencing cravings for foods that you normally would have avoided in the market which was located in the main part of the colony. You were walking with Kay finding items for dinners for the coming week. Normally you’d stick to regular vegetables that farming had collected and the rations of canned meat or noodles that the company would provide but you found your mouth watering when the two of you walked pass an older woman selling jars of pickles.
Once you’d tasted one of her samples you were hooked. Kay only laughed at you as you opened the jar and ate some more as you walked back to the trailers. By the end of the day the jar was empty. Later that day while Bjorn was playing a video game you told him about the pickles and how good they were. You often yapped his ear off about random things while cooking dinner, you never thought he really listened until the next day after his shift he walked through the door holding four jars of the pickles.
It was in this same month that you invited Bjorn to sleep in the bedroom with you. You’d felt bad watching the way he moved after waking up, knowing it was hard on his body after working so many shifts in the mines.
He had refused at first, assuring you he was fine on the couch until one night you woke up from a nightmare in the dark room. You couldn't remember what the dream was but you remembered how it made you feel. Scared and alone.
So you crawled out of the bed and walked down the hall and straight to the couch where Bjorn was laying on his side with the thin blanket over his chest.
You knelt next to him, shaking his shoulder carefully. When he showed no signs of waking up you shook him harder.
He jumped up, gasping for air at the sudden force that pulled him out of sleep.
"What is it?" He breathed, looking around and moving to sit up on the couch, "Are you okay?"
"No, well yes, I'm okay" You said quietly, picking at the fabric of the couch, "It's stupid, I'm sorry for waking you up"
You stood to walk away but felt Bjorn's hand catch your wrist and give it a light tug. "What's wrong?"
You pushed your hair out of your face and sighed, "Can you please sleep in the bed, just for tonight?"
He nodded sleepily, letting go of your wrist and running his hand of over his face before standing and grabbing his pillow. "Let's go"
He followed you to the room and watched as you crawled in, moving your pillow and making room for him. He yawned, "What side do you want?"
"I sleep better against the wall" You whispered, moving to the side by the wall and laying down. You watched him walk to the side of the bed, tossing his pillow down before climbing on to the mattress. The bed shifted under his weight and you adjusted slightly, giving him some of the blanket.
"You good?" He asked once he got comfortable facing towards the roof of the trailer.
"Yeah" You whispered, already feeling more relaxed.
You were glad to find that he was still in the bed when you woke up to his data watch beeping. He groaned, slapping his wrist to stop the sound.
He rubbed at his eyes before looking over to you, finding you awake and staring at him with the blanket tucked under your chin.
"You're feet are freezing" He mumbled, his voice and accent was thicker than usual, something you'd never heard.
You were confused until you felt movement under the blanket and realized just how close you were to him. You'd managed to wiggle your feet right next to his legs.
"Shit, sorry" You rushed, moving your feet away from him under the blanket.
"Man, I'm glad I never let you stay over after we, well - you know" He joked, stretching his arms out in front of him. "Cold feet on my legs first thing in the morning is not pleasant"
You laughed at him, pushing the messy hair out of your eyes. "And I would've gotten woken up by that damn watch"
He made a sound, eyes closing again. You sat in a comfortable silence, slowly waking up more and more.
"So what happened last night?" He asked, opening his eyes again and looking over at you.
"Nothing" You replied, turning toward him in the bed and rubbing your eyes.
"Bullshit" He countered.
It was your turn to yawn, as you sit up in the bed and leaned against the wall to look at him, "I haven't been sleeping too much, been having some nightmares and I thought it would help"
"Did it?" He asked looking over at you from his pillow.
You nodded awkwardly at him, nibbling on your bottom lip.
“What are the nightmares about?” His gravely voice and accent making you wish you’d woken up next to him back when you were hooking up.
“The baby” You said, placing a hand on your stomach under the blanket.
He nodded, getting out of bed and stretching again once he was fully upright. “Well if it makes you more comfortable I'll sleep in here whenever you want"
“It’s not weird?” You ask, feeling like you might have overstepped.
“After all the things we’ve done, nothings weird” He laughs, giving you a funny look, “Besides the couch was killing my back"
"I fucking knew it!”
*
At 4 months pregnant you stopped working in the mines, finally taking Bjorn's offer after your body started to ache after long days. He made sure you had everything you needed. You would eat meals together when he wasn’t working, and you’d actually started to enjoy watching him play his video games on the couch.
The belly starts to become more noticeable. You were fairly thin due to the malnourishment from the colony, so it took some time for the bump to take form. It was just big enough that when you wore a tight fitting old t shirt it would ride halfway up. Around the group you wore baggy hoodies and often sat with your arms crossed over your stomach.
Bjorn had been sat on the counter of the kitchen one day, eating pasta you’d made when you felt him staring at you. You’d been standing in front of the sink rinsing the soapy dishes.
“What’re you staring at?” You hummed.
"Nothin'" He says, through a mouthful of food.
Most days you stayed in comfy clothes. Since you weren't able to work you hung around his trailer, watching old movies traded from other colony's of actors long since dead or trying Bjorns video games. You weren’t very good but it was still something to entertain you. You never really saw the point in getting fully dressed, opting for your pajamas which consisted of a small, worn out Weyland-Yutani shirt and sleep shorts.
You tried to return back to the dishes but felt his burning gaze on you again. You put the rag down on the counter and turned toward him, "Seriously what are you staring at?"
“Your belly” He admitted, motioning to your shirt that had, for the hundredth time, rode up above your belly button. “It’s cute”
“It’s not cute” You groaned, pulling the shirt down over the protruding bump.
His eyes flicked from your eyes back to the belly, “I think it is”
“No, it’s not” You huffed, blowing a piece if hair that had fallen from your braid out of your face, “I knew a girl who got pregnant and by the time 9 months rolled around her belly was the size of a whale”
By this time he had finished his food and sat the small bowl beside him in the counter, tapping his fingers absentmindedly as you spoke. He rolled his eyes at you playfully, “Fuck off, you're lying"
"I swear," You proclaimed, turning to the side and holding your hands out far and curving them as if a form of measurement, "Like this big"
His eyes widened in amusement as he watched you exaggerate a huge stomach that even he knew was impossible. As you did your shirt slid back up over your belly and you tugged it down again. "I’ll be running out of clothes that fit soon”
His laugh rang through the small trailer and you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling too much. It wasn't often that the two of you joked around. He was always tired from work and you were always grumpy from growing a human. There was a peace that settled inside of you as the sound hit your ears and you watched his shoulders bounce.
"I think it will still be cute" Bjorn said after his laughing settled. "No matter how big it gets"
"Oh, fuck off," You whined, grabbing the rag from the counter and turning back to finish the dishes. "You're just saying that to be nice"
"Maybe" He teased, sliding off the counter and gathering his dirty dishes from beside him. He moved to stand beside you, rinsing them and taking the rag from you to clean them himself. When he finished, he leaned close to you, so close that you could feel his lips ghost over your ear, "Or maybe I mean it"
The sensation made you shiver, especially considering the two of you had been keeping your distance ever since you'd agreed to be friends. You laughed lightheartedly and pushed him away, "Knock that off"
"I ain't doing anything" He held his hands up in surrender, but his smirk said otherwise. He moved toward the couch and switched on his game, "Anyways, you're welcome to wear my shirts if you want"
"Oh, no that's okay-"
"I don't mind" He insisted, "It might be more comfortable"
"Thanks" You smiled, even though he was no longer facing you, trying your best to ignore blush creeping onto your cheeks.
You moved to sit at the small table beside the kitchen and prop your feet up, watching as Bjorn played his game and flipping through an old book that had been his mothers.
You felt a strange sensation in your abdomen. It startled you but you felt little movements before. You lifted the shirt up and placed your palm on the spot, rubbing your thumb along the skin. "Was that you little one?"
Before you could get the words out you felt a sharp kick on the other side of your belly and squealed out. When Bjorn heard you, he jumped up and nearly fell over the back of the couch to get to you.
“What is it?" He asked frantically in front of you as you held the spot on your stomach where you felt the kick.
You felt another kick closer to your belly button and you jumped again. Instead of answering him you took his hand and rested his palm against your stomach, moving it slowly like a radar.
“What is going on—"
“Shut up” You shushed him, focusing hard so he could feel the kicks. You felt the baby move and then another kick right at Bjorns hand. His eyes grew wide. "You feel that?"
“What the fuck?” He was whispering despite being so close in the quiet trailer, “Have they done that yet?”
You shook your head, feeling another kick under his hand, which you held firmly in place.
“Not like this" You found yourself whispering back, "Maybe they like your voice”
His eyes grew, a glint shining in them that you'd never seen in him, similar to a kid who received a present, “You think?”
“There they go again” You laugh softly at him again, this time giving his hand on your stomach a squeeze, “They must wanna kick your ass like I do"
"For fucks sake, I can't believe there's someone in there" He whispered looking up at you. You were glad he was there to experience the moment with you.
You smiled at him, realizing that you were still holding his hand and letting go of it.
Later that night as you both lay in bed you can't seem to shut off your brain long enough to fall asleep.
“We have to get out of here" You whisper, facing the wall with your back to him, knowing he wasn't yet asleep by the way he was breathing.
There was a beat of silence before you heard him sigh, “Okay"
"I'm serious" You swallowed the lump forming in your throat, turning to face him in the bed. "I won't let my baby grow up here."
You felt the bed shift again, feeling him come closer to you. His arm moved under the blanket, inching over and lifting you shirt so he could rub your belly. He moved his thumb along the skin. “Don’t stress it’s not good for the baby”
"This place isn't good for the baby" You choked out. He heard your voice start to shake and breathing erratic. He moved his hand from your belly to the side of your head, pushing the hair back behind your ear and letting his thumb caress of your cheek.
“I know” He said quietly, “I’m going to figure something out. The two of you are my responsibility now, I’ll keep you both safe”
“I need you to promise that we will get out of here, all of us"
His hand moved from you cheek, pulling you into his chest. You nuzzled up against him, breathing in his scent and listening to his heartbeat. "I promise"
*
Around 5 months pregnant Tyler had clocked your dirty little secret. The group was all gathered around the small fire pit drinking, the way they often did after a long hard week of working. He’d had suspicions that maybe something had happened between you and Bjorn but never asked until Navarro waved some of her homemade moonshine in your face and Bjorn nearly knocked it out of her hand.
It was a weird moment and everyone stared at Bjorn. Navarro laughed it off being slightly drunk. You knew she was just messing around and she wouldn’t actually make you drink the moonshine but it was a knee jerk reaction from Bjorn. The outburst confirmed Tyler’s suspicions.
“You’re pregnant” He accused from across the fire with his arm draped over Rains shoulder as he took a sip of his beer.
The conversation stopped altogether and everyone looked between you and Tyler. You froze, feeling all the color leave your face. You felt like a deer in headlights. You looked around nervously at the others but didn’t deny his accusation. You didn’t want to lie to them anymore.
“And I take it you’re the dad?” Tyler asked changing his tone slightly as he looked up at Bjorn who stood near you.
You had to laugh at the silence from the otherwise loud group. The fire crackled as Bjorn stepped forward and threw a piece of wood into it. “Is it that obvious?”
“Well you haven’t drank a drop of alcohol in months” He spoke confidently as he stood from his spot and walked around the pit, “and you’ve never been a fan of Bjorn until recently”
“Fuck off” Bjorn laughed nervously as Tyler approached him. You could tell by his face that he wasn’t sure what Tyler was going to do. He flinched when Tyler slapped him on the back, anticipating a punch but instead he was pulling him into a half hug.
“Wait seriously, you’re gonna have a baby?” Kay asked, eyes wide. She was bouncing in her seat and when you nodded, she had nearly tackled you in a hug. You giggled as she squeezed you, breathing into her mess of curls. Behind her you watched Tyler hit Bjorn playfully in the side before letting him go.
You could tell Tyler was disappointed but there was a genuine smile on his lips that put you at ease.
“She needs to breathe” Bjorn joked seeing how tightly Kay was squeezing against your stomach.
“Ah I’m sorry!" Kay jumped back, letting you go. She moved her hands to your stomach carefully and smiled at you, "How far along are you?"
"Five months"
Kay squealed, moving to stand next to Rain, Navarro and Andy who came closer to the group.
"I knew you weren't sick" Tyler chuckled, moving to pull you into a bear hug.
You sniffled against his shoulder, “I’m sorry, I didn't wanna lie to you but I wasn't ready to tell you guys"
“Oh y/n, don’t be silly” You heard his laugh rumble in his chest and his voice against your ear, “If you need anything you know we’ve got you”
"I know" You said into his shoulder, squeezing your arms around him. "What do you think?"
You relaxed into the hug, feeling his hand rub your back soothingly. You and Tyler had always been close. Your older brother, Sam and him had been friends since you were a kid. You were only three years younger than the two of them and they let you follow them around like a lost puppy. You'd met Kay when Sam would bring you along to Tyler's trailer. After your brother died, he'd continued to watch out for you, eventually introducing you to the rest of the group.
He knew you were asking about Bjorn. How he was responsible for this. How he felt knowing the two of you had been sneaking around behind all of their backs.
"Well," He sighed, pulling back from the hug and putting his hands on your shoulders to get a good look at you, "I haven't decided if I'm going to throttle him or not"
"I vote not" Bjorn said from behind him, taking a sip of his beer.
Tyler rolled his eyes, turning around and grabbing his cousin by the back of his neck playfully, pushing him toward the cooler on the other side of the fire.
Your nerves settled for what felt like the first time in months. With each hug you felt more relaxed, like a weight was lifted from your shoulders. No more lies.
After the excitement and initial shock worn off you found yourself back around the fire, the girls sitting around you.
“I’d never think you two would be—uh involved” Rain joked once the from beside you, taking a sip of her beer. “Are you guys like—“
“Just friends” You interrupted quickly, pulling at the sleeves of your coat so they covered your hands. You felt like you were being short with them so you added, "It was just a one time thing"
That was a lie, but it hurt no one. You really didn't want to explain how you'd managed to keep your hook ups a secret for months before becoming pregnant with his child.
“How do you feel?” Navarro asked from where she was squatted on a small bucket, closer to the fire. She'd sobered up after hearing the news.
“Uh scared shitless” You admitted with a lighthearted laugh. The girls laughed in response but then you added, "By the time I found out it was too late to get rid of it so it took a lot to come to terms with it, still kinda hate myself"
The laughing died down and you felt Kay lean her head on your shoulder and Rain rub your back the same way Tyler had. You immediately regretted bringing down the mood. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that"
"No," Navarro spoke up as she leaned forward to put her hand on your knee. "You have every right to feel that way"
You smiled at them. At your people. You felt a pang in your heart like you could feel the love radiating from them.
Andy must've picked up on the change in demeanor because he sat up straighter and looked at you from beside Rain. "How did the picture frame end up in jail?"
You smiled, leaning so you could look at him. He blinked at you waiting for you to respond, "I dunno, how?"
"It was framed!" Andy smiled, stuttering slightly and fidgeting with his hands in his lap.
"That was a good one Andy" You giggled. "You'll have to learn some jokes about pregnancy or babies or something"
"I will!" He smiled.
"Please don't encourage him" Rain laughed, nudging her brother.
The girls occupied themselves with ideas about clothes that Kay could make and things the baby would need but you found yourself zoning out and staring across the fire at Bjorn. You couldn’t hear what he was saying but you could see the smile on his lips as he spoke to Tyler. You wondered if he felt as relieved as you did.
Later that night as the two of you walked back to his trailer you sighed contentedly. His arm brushed against you as you walked. "Well at least the cats outta the bag"
He blew the smoke from his cigarette away from you, "Yeah, I really thought Tyler was gonna come after me"
You had to laugh, "It wouldn't have surprised me"
A group of miners passed the two of you, headed back from the looks of the soot and dirt on their face. Some of them coughed and limped by. You felt sick. A harsh reminder of what you would be bringing this baby into.
The rest of the walk was quiet. When you made it inside and kicked your shoes off you sat on the couch. You couldn't kick the feeling of disgust and anger inside. The thought that lingered in the back of your mind since you saw the positive test result.
"Do you wanna get a shower first?" Bjorn asked from behind the couch, looking in the kitchen for something to eat most likely.
When you didn't respond he came around from the back of the couch and looked over your face. "Hey what's with you?"
When you opened your mouth to speak, you started to cry.
"I thought you were glad they know?" He asked, sitting on the small table in from of the couch.
"I am" You sniffled, wiping the tears from your cheeks hurriedly.
"Okay" He said slowly, trying to piece together the issue. After a minute he stood disappeared into the kitchen. When he returned he had a jar of pickles in his hand. He opened it easily, holding it out to you. "Will this help?"
You took the jar from him, fishing out a pickle and taking a bite of it. You sniffled again, managing a smile and nodding curtly. After a couple bites you had stopped crying.
"You good?" He asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, looking at you. “Because I don’t have any other pregnancy craving snacks here”
"Yeah" You sigh, handing the jar back to him and sucking the juice off your fingers, "It's just that—well telling everyone, it makes it real"
"I know" Bjorn nods, glancing down at his hands for a moment before flicking his blue eyes back to you. "I'll miss it being our little secret"
You nodded, agreeing with him but surprised at his confession.
*
At six months pregnant you were getting ready for bed, feeling extraordinary, lonely. Your belly started growing bigger and despite trying to remain positive about the situation you found yourself becoming depressed knowing in only a few short months that baby would be born, no longer protected by your body.
You had just shut the light off when you heard Bjorn come through the door, setting his key on the table and sitting down at the table. You walked down the hall and leaned against the wall, watching as he unlaced his boots and tossed them toward the door.
He had soot all over his face and arms, looking exhausted. When he saw you staring at him he gave you a puzzled look, "You good?"
"Uh huh" You rested a hand on your stomach, clearing your suddenly dry throat at the sight of him pulling his work shirt over his head. The tattoos that he had accumulated over the years were sprinkled over his pale skin. "Do you—uh want something to eat?"
He stood from the chair, with his shirt in hand as he peeled the bandana from his forehead over his hair. The motion pushed his hair back in a way that reminded you how dry your throat was. You passed him quickly headed for a water in an attempt to stop staring.
“No thanks” He yawned, stretching his arms over his head as you turned around to his back muscles flex, you nearly choked. "I think I'm just gonna get a shower and go to sleep"
You nodded, not trusting your voice. He stepped beside you filling a cup with water and taking a drink as well. When he leaned next to you your body went stiff.
He brought the cup to his lips, staring at you over the rim, before wiping his lips, "You sure you're okay?"
"Yep" You said quickly, setting your cup down and walking back to the room. "Uh, have a good shower"
You sat on the edge of the bed, feeling like a feral animal as you heard the shower turn on through the paper thin walls. You grabbed a pillow and groaned into it. After all these months with him you’d finally created a friendship, one that you were confident would benefit the baby. Why were you suddenly wanting to throw caution to the wind. You forced yourself to lay down, forcing any stray thoughts out of your brain. Not long after you heard him as he shuffled around in the dark before the mattress shifted and he slide under the covers next to you.
He didn’t say anything as he settled into a comfortable position, careful not to bother you. After a minute he felt you move in the bed and knew you were still awake.
"Did something happen today?" He asked, staring up at the ceiling, "You aren't acting like yourself"
"Nothing happened" You reply honestly.
He moved in the bed again, this time so he was facing you, propped up on his elbows. “Then what's with you?"
“Nothing” You said quicker than you should’ve.
“You know I’ve learned quite a bit about you these last couple months” His features were dimly lit of the lights that stayed on outside of the trailer blinds, producing an orange glow no matter the time of day. “One of those being that you’re a shit lair”
You shook your head at him, “I’ve always been shit at lying, you should’ve known that well before this mess”
He glanced over as the orange light flickers from the window, a truck passing down the road.
“What else have you learned about me?” You asked quietly, carefully moving to your side. As the belly grows it gets harder and harder to lay comfortably but you wanted to look at him.
He adjusted on the pillow, tucking it under his chest, “I learned that you suck at video games”
“You got me there” You smiled, nodding once. “What else?”
“You talk in your sleep”
You gasped at him, “I do not”
“I promise you do” He smirked.
“What do I say?” You urged, smacking at his arm.
“I’m not at liberty to say” He glanced at your lips for a second before looking back at your eyes, “But let’s just say I’ve heard my name come up once or twice and —”
“Oh for fucks sake” You whined smacking him again, before hiding your face behind your hand, “Please shut up”
“Don’t be embarrassed” He mused, reaching over and pulling your hand out of your face so he could look at you, “I like it”
Your heart nearly skipped a beat. He moved his hand from yours and pulling it back to where he was propped up and staring at you.
“And you scrunch your nose when you’re focusing” The sound another truck passed by accompanied by the flickering light as it passed. The orange glow flickered over his features again. He reached out and poked your nose softly. “You’re doing it now”
You knew he was onto you, that there was something you weren’t telling him. Something you’d been keeping locked way down for the sake of keeping normalcy with him. But it was bubbling up and you weren’t sure you could stop it.
“I wanna do something, but I’m worried it’ll mess things up” You say quietly, your eyes jump all over his face, trying to read his expression in the lowlight.
“You think too much” Bjorn leaned forward slowly, closing the small distance between you. Your mind raced as he moved slow enough like he was giving you a chance to stop it. But you didn’t want it to stop. “Just do it”
He lingered there, just barely touching your lips, like he was waiting for you to stop him. And when you didn’t, he closed the distance.
His lips were soft and gently, something you’d yet to experience with him. All the drunken kisses you’d experienced with him were messy and hard. But now he held back, allowing you to dictate how far this would go. But just like in the kitchen before you were grabbing his neck and pulling him closer to you, the delicate kiss turning into a feverish one.
He pulled back to speak but you were tugging him back into the kiss, slipping your tongue over his bottom lip. He’d turned his head to the side allowing better access to the both of you as your tongue tangled with each other.
His hand came to your cheek, caressing it and using it to hold you in place against him. You sighed against his lips, earning a chuckle to rattle in his throat. He moved on the bed closer to you. His hand left your cheek, traveling down toward your breast where he gave it a small squeeze but when you hissed out he pulled back immediately.
“S’okay, they’re just sore” You said distracted and trying to pull him back for a kiss.
“Are you sure?” He asked, holding back to fully look at you.
“Mhm” You hummed, as he propped himself on an elbow, allowing you to pull him back into the kiss.
Your mind was racing. The two of you had done well with keeping things platonic but you needed him in this moment. He left your lips, kissing down your jaw and leaving marks on your exposed neck.
“I want you” You said breathlessly, feeling the natural pull he had about him.
“I thought you wanted to be friends” He teased, trailing his tongue over the sensitive spot he had caused.
“I know what I said” You whined as he nibbled at your collar bone.
He pulled back, looking at you through his long, pretty lashes, “We can’t”
You sighed throwing your head back into the pillows. “You’re right—I’m sorry, I knew this was a bad idea, how could you want to when I look like this anyways— we were doing good as friends and I just went and blew everything up I shoul—“
“Please shut up” He says with a chuckle, leaning back down and pressing a kiss to your lips. “Trust me, I want to, I really want to but I don’t want to risk it—because of the baby”
You turn your head, looking over at the wall, feeling embarrassed. “I just ruined everything”
“Nothing is ruined” He says softly, turning your head back to face him, “Hey—nothing is ruined”
“I shouldn’t have assumed that you would even want to, after all the work we’ve done and the way that I look” You mumbled, lip quivering as you spoke.
“For the record, I have never not been attracted to you” Bjorn laughed lightheartedly trying to make you feel better, “I thought you were hot when we were 13 and Tyler introduced us and I think you’re hot now”
You wiped at a tear that managed to slip out, “You’re just being nice”
“I know you feel that against your leg” He deadpanned, referring to his excitement under the sheets. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted you more”
“Really?” You mumbled, feeling self conscious.
“Yes really” He admits sweetly, brushing his fingertips through your hair. “Knowing you’re carrying my baby—well it does something to me, that I didn’t expect. I’ve just been holding back because I thought you didn’t want it”
You blush up at him, attempting to hide your face in your hands, but before you can he grabs them, leaning forward and kissing you again.
“We can’t do the big stuff, I don’t wanna hurt the baby but—” He said carefully, drumming his fingertips along your skin as they glided under the blanket, “But I can still make you feel good”
His fingers stopped at the waistband of your panties, dancing along the fabric that was already moist. He made a sound with his tongue as he watched your eyes roll back before fluttering closed.
He applied pressure as he moved his fingers in a circular motion against the fabric, earning a whimper from your lips. “Already so wet for me”
“Oh shit” You breathed out as he pushed the fabric aside and slipped his fingers along your wet lips. They glided easily with how slick you were and you nearly lost it at that.
“Oh you needed this huh?” He said quietly focusing on the rise and fall of your chest.
His slowly slid his finger inside of you, watching with his mouth agape as you took it, before adding a second finger.
“Fucks sake” He breathed as he pumped his fingers slowly, feeling you clench around his fingers. He pressed against you again, catching your lips against his and kissing you against the rhythm of his fingers. Even before he had always managed to multitask like this.
You bucked your hips slightly, in an effort to keep him going and get to that sweet spot. He was biting at your bottom lip and pulling it slightly causing you to moan as his thumb rubbing circles on your clit.
“Is this why you’ve been so grumpy lately?” He mumbled against your mouth, still moving his fingers in and out of you, picking up the pace.
“Shut up” You moaned again, breathing erratically as he touched you.
He left a sloppy trail from your mouth down your jaw line and landing on your neck again, “Next time just ask me”
You could hardly focus on what he was saying as he moved in the bed and under the sheets, careful if your belly and positioning himself between your legs. Without skipping a beat he replaced his fingers with his mouth.
You nearly screamed at the sensation, clutching the sheets in fistfuls around you. You were more sensitive than ever and the second his tongue made contact with your center you were squealing. His hands came around your thighs holding them apart as you squirmed from sheer pleasure. You wanted this to last forever but when he slid his fingers back in while he sucked on your sensitive spot you were done for.
You yelled out his name as you felt complete bliss wash over you. Your body twitching as his tongue continued to suck and clean the area, nearly causing a second orgasm.
When he appeared from under the blankets his hair was disheveled and his lips wet. He moved carefully around your belly before laying down next to you again. “That has to be a new record”
You reached up and laced your fingers through his hair, pulling him toward you and kissing him softly. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he swirled it in your mouth. You felt drunk with pleasure.
Your hand fell against his chest and slowly made its way down until he stopped you right at the waistband of his boxers. “You don’t have to”
It was your turn to shut him up, pressing your lips back to him and moving your hand between his boxers and skin. Immediately you felt him, just as aroused as you were.
He bit back a moan as your finger brushed against his tip, dripping with pre-cum. You worked your hand around him, making sure it was wet enough before pumping him.
“Oh fuck” He whined, “Fuck, fuck”
“I guess I’m not the only one who needed this” You whispered against his ear, sucking on his ear lobe.
His breathing became erratic as you pumped him faster until he erupted in his boxers. He sighed, running his hand over his face and through his hair as his eyes rolled back.
You’re pumping slowed, feeling him all over your hand as you pulled it out of his boxers and up to your mouth, licking the sticky substance from your fingers.
“Shit” He whined, pulling you back in to kiss him after you sucked your fingers clean. The kiss was lazy and sloppy, the two of you now feeling spent. “I guess we both needed that”
When he fell back against the pillow next to you, you both stared at the ceiling, breathing syncing up. “We can still be friends and help each other out”
“Yeah” He breathed. “What kind of parents would we be if we didn’t help each other out”
“Exactly” You agreed, holding your hand out to him for a high five.
He snorted, but lifted his hand and clapped it against yours.
*
About a week after your moment with Bjorn you went to medical. Bjorn and the others had talked you into getting a scan for the baby's sake. They had a point, as much as you hated the company, it would be reassuring to know if the baby was growing correctly and was healthy. You went by yourself, not wanting them to know who the father was. You didn't want him to be held finically accountable in the eyes of the company. It was easier to say you weren't sure who the father was.
You let them ask a million questions as they slid a cold jelly across your bare stomach. The nurse moved a machine over the bump as you watched the screen.
"Are you sure there's a baby in there?" The synthetic nurse had joked, noticing the tenseness of your body and your hands closed in fists at your sides.
Suddenly, they moved it to the side and a body appeared. They pointed out the head and feet. But you could barely hear them, too busy watching the baby, your baby, move inside of you on the screen.
"Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"
You nodded at them, not trusting your voice with the sheer emotion you were feeling. The nurse hit a switch on the machine and the sound of thumping filled the small room.
"Strong heartbeat, that's always a good sign" The nurse said happily, typing into the screen. "You're five months on the dot which means we can find out the gender if you would like"
You breathed out, blinking away the tears that began to gather in your eyelashes as you listened to the heartbeat.
"Miss, did you hear me?" The synthetic's voice questioned.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Would you like to know the gender?" They repeated.
"Oh uh-" You whispered, moving your hand on your arm. You wanted to know, but a part of you wanted to keep something sacred, especially since Bjorn wasn't there. It didn't feel right finding out this way, "No, I don't wanna know"
By the end of the appointment, they handed you a printed photo still from the video of the ultrasound. It showed the outline of the baby perfectly.
When you presented the photo to Bjorn later that day, he traced the outline of the baby with his finger as you pointed out the arms and legs, even the little toes forming. He was in awe, still staring at it even after you had made dinner.
"I told them we didn't want to know the gender," You said from the kitchen behind him. "Thought it would be a nice surprise"
"I'm with you, whatever you want" He said, still staring at the picture.
After a couple minutes you came to stand behind the back of the couch, looking over his shoulder at the picture, "Pretty crazy huh?"
“Crazy, terrifying, exciting” He said tossing his left and right as he listed the words, “All of the above”
You sat next to him, resting your head on his shoulder and rubbing your belly. “I think I could be a good mother”
“There’s no think about it” Bjorn said moving his arm around your shoulder so you could sit comfortably, “You will”
“What if we can’t get out of here? What if they end up just like us?” You wonder pointing your finger at the small face on the picture.
“I made you a promise” He said kissing your temple, “I’m going to get us all out of here”
You relaxed at his gesture. Although the two of you had not been intimate since that night in the bed, you felt like your bond had grown. You trusted him. You believed him.
Later that day the group came for dinner and Bjorn showed of the picture like a prize before pinning it up in the living room.
*
At 7 months pregnant you’d been lying in bed tossing and turning, unable to sleep when you’d made your way to the main room of the trailer. Despite the late hours Bjorn had been up, a beer sitting on the table in front of him and an old movie playing on the tv. He opted for spending time out there when he was wired from work instead of keeping you up in the bedroom.
He didn’t notice you until your bare feet padded over to the side of the couch.
“Shit, did I wake you?” He was startled, sitting up on the couch and reaching for the remote to turn it down.
“No, not you” You took your free hand and rubbed at your belly under one of his shirts, “He’s been keeping me up”
“He?” Bjorn had questioned, looking at your stomach.
"Yeah" You moved to sit on the couch beside him, your back killing you. “I dunno, I just don’t wanna keep calling them it. '
“What do you want it to be?” He asked, turning to look at you. The lights from the small screen that played the movie lit up the dark room, casting funny shadows on his face.
“What do you want it to be?” You countered, propping your feet on the small table in front of the couch.
"Uh" He took his thumb and ran it over his bottom lip, absentmindedly biting at his nail, “I haven’t really thought about it”
You could tell her was unsure of himself when it came to the baby when you did try to speak about it so you spoke up again, “At first I was thinking it was a she but after tonight I'm thinking he"
"Why?" He asked, looking over your features while you spoke.
"Because right now he's being a pain in my ass like his daddy” You laughed, meeting his gaze.
Daddy. It was the first time you’d referred to him like that. You’d thought you might’ve made him uncomfortable or overstepped as he stood from the couch and walked into the kitchen. When he returned, he had a worn-out teddy bear, it was small and brown, tattered in some spots. He held it out to you as he sat back down.
“I- uh found this where my mom used to stash things she didn't want the company to get their hands on, it was mine when I was a baby. I know it’s sorta tore up and old—“
You took it from his hand, holding the stuffed toy next to your belly, “It’s perfect, he or she will love it”
He smiled at you, staring down at his hand on his lap.
“You hear that, daddy got you a present” You spoke to your belly, holding the bear in one hand and tapping your finger along the fabric of your shirt.
"What are you doing?" He adjusted on the cushion next to you, watching you.
"I read in a booklet that the nurse gave me that you should talk to them, it helps with bonding and calming them or something" You explained, gathering your hair in a low ponytail so it was out of your face.
"I didn't know that" He said quietly, picking at his lips with his fingers as he watched you speak to the unborn baby in a soft, cheery voice.
“Of course you wanna sleep now” You say, tapping your finger along your belly again. "Are you tired after kicking me for hours?"
A minute passed and you sighed, leaning back into the couch and glancing over at him, "You try"
“Nah, I'm good” He said nervously.
"Don't be scared" You encouraged, pulling your shirt up and over the belly and gathering the fabric under your boobs. Your underwear was exposed but you weren't embarrassed after the relationship you and Bjorn once had. "Just talk like we are now"
He nodded as he moved on the couch, leaning over and propping himself up so his face was closer to your stomach. He hesitantly spread the palm of his hand flat against your skin.
“Hey, can you hear me?” He spoke directly to your belly, his breath tickling your skin. “Uh, this is your daddy"
After a minute of no reaction, the skin next to where he spoke stretched slightly, “Oh did you see that?” He asked excitedly, his eyes lit up.
“I think that’s a hand” You whispered, eyes fixated on him as he spoke and the joy on his face when he got a reaction from the baby.
"Have you been keeping mommy awake?" Bjorn rubbed your belly absentmindedly as he spoke, leaving goosebumps on your skin. "You know she gets grumpy when she doesn't get enough sleep"
You laughed at that, the vibration shaking your belly slightly. Another movement occurred against your skin and his eyes gleamed.
“I told you he likes the sound of your voice” You said, matter-of-factly.
Another kick came and his eyes stared up at you, "Or he just likes the sound of his mommy's laugh"
Your heart fluttered. You had to force yourself to look away, breaking the tension with a quiet cough.
He continued to tap on the belly, feeling the little extremities through the skin. His touch relaxed you indirectly and as he spoke softly you felt your eyelids getting heavy.
Before you let sleep take you, you hear his hushed voice whisper, "I can’t wait to meet you”
*
You felt like a whale as you waddled your way to Tyler and Kay’s trailer with Bjorn by your side. The girls wanted to throw you a little party for the baby as you got closer to the end of your pregnancy. You’d begged them not to but they were too excited and you couldn’t say no, not when they already loved this baby so much.
When you arrived Tyler and Bjorn opted for a cigarette outside, letting the girls and Andy have their time with you.
In the few months that Kay known about the baby she had managed to make a plethora of baby clothes, most being gender neutral due to the fact that there was hardly any pink or girly fabrics in the colony.
You had to admit the clothes she had made were precious. They were tiny little jumpers with little shapes stitched into them in an effort to make them more personalized. She’d even made a blanket with little silk detailing on the edges.
“How did you find this material?” You’d asked holding the blanket against your chest.
“Believe it or not I found it at the market” She smiled, big doe eyes sparkling the way they always seemed to, “They cost a pretty penny but it’s worth it for this little one”
She had reached over and placed her hand on your belly, smiling up at you. You pulled her into a hug, as best as you could with your enlarged stomach.
Rain had gifted you a book of nursery rhymes and short stories that you could read to the baby, something she said her mother used to read to her.
Navarro had made something that resembled bassinet. You’d only seen them in old movies, never being around anyone who had a baby. It was fashioned out of a wooden material with handles, on the inside there was a cushion to act as a mattress.
“This way you have something for them to sleep in” She had said from the window of the trailer near where everyone sat. She had always been nonchalant about everything. “Well—until they out grow it, then I can make you a new one”
You thanked everyone a million times. Your heart feeling so full as you looked at the things your friends had took the time do get or make. So much love that you felt you didn’t deserve.
"I've been working on some jokes y/n" Andy said excitedly, "Do-do you want to hear one-e?"
You nodded, leaning forward to get a look at him while he spoke.
“How did the baby know it was time to be born?"
"I dunno, how?"
"It ran out of womb—“ Andy spoke from the floor where he sat crossed legged, reading the book Rain had gotten for you, “Get it womb like room”
“That was really great, Andy” You laughed, but it turned into a sniffle, which turned into a cry. Your heartbeat quickened and your head started to spin. As your eyes welled up with tears and you buried your face in the homemade blanket. "This is all really great"
Your shoulder shook and suddenly you were sobbing into the material. Bjorn and Tyler walked in as everyone sat quietly around you, watching you but not sure what to do, considering you had just been fine.
“Hey— hey what’s going on in here?” Tyler’s voice asks and you suddenly feel Kay move from her spot beside you and someone else sit down. “Is she okay? Is the baby okay?”
You feel Bjorn beside you without having to look. You’d been able to sense his presence now, something about it calmed you down. He moves your hands down from your face and moves your chin to look at him. “What’s going on?”
You sniffle, trying to calm down but when you saw him it made you cry more, burying your face against his shoulder.
“What can I do?” Tyler asked Bjorn frantically, hating to see you upset. “What’s going on?”
“She’s okay” Bjorn reassured, smoothing his hand against the back of your head, soothing you as best as he could. “Can you get her a water?”
After a couple of minutes of Bjorn rubbing circles on your back you sit up. Your face is red from crying and you feel embarrassed as they all stare at you. Tyler is crouched on the floor near Andy, holding out a cup of water. You take it from him, taking a couple sips feeling Bjorn’s hand still on your back.
“I’m sorry” You said quietly at the friends who surrounded you, all sharing the same solemn expressions. "I-I think just got overwhelmed or something-"
“Don’t be sorry” Rain responded putting her hand on your knee. "We didn't mean to upset you or anything-"
"No, no, it's nothing you guys did, you've made me feel so happy knowing this baby will know what it's like to be loved" You smiled, urging yourself not to cry again. "I just- the closer it gets the more I worry about the world they'll grow up in"
You didn’t have to explain why you felt that way. They understood. Afterall every person in the room was an orphan. It was the way of the colony. You didn't want that for your baby.
You didn’t realize but you were leaning into Bjorn’s side until he shifted slightly beside you. In recent weeks when you found yourself attached to him, you'd not yet decided if it was because of the night you shared or his ability to ground you when you got nervous.
“I just wish there was a way off this colony that didn't require being granted travel permits that the company will never give us” You say, trying to laugh half heartedly to ease the awkward tension.
You looked around watching as everyone nodded. It was something you'd all talked about forever. You'd heard stories of people getting travel permits and leaving but they were few and far between. Bedtime stories your parents had told you growing up. The idea of hope and freedom.
Your eyes landed on Tyler how rubbed Rains thigh absentmindedly, staring off, deep in thought.
“So, uh- have you guys thought of names yet?” Kay asked once you had leaned back against the couch with Bjorn nestled beside you. He kept his arm around your shoulder helping you to relax.
“Not really” You said, looking up to Bjorn, “Well—I guess not at all”
“I’m sure no one will mind if you name it Tyler” Tyler says from his spot, sipping on a beer, Rain was curled up next to him on the floor, and smacked at his chest when he spoke, “Ouch, what— Tyler is a strong name, could be a girl or a boy name-”
“Speaking of,” Navarro interrupted from her perch as she chewed on a piece of candy, “Do you guys think it’s a boy or girl?”
“Boy” Bjorn answered, tilting his head back to look at her. “Well that’s what y/n always says at least when it’s being little menace making her sick or kicking her” Bjorn added.
“I only refer to it as he when he’s being ornery” You laughed, resting your cup of water on your belly. “But I dunno”
“I hope it’s a girl” Bjorn suddenly says, taking a sip of his beer and then resting it on his knee. It took you by surprise. He’d never mentioned much about a preferred gender.
Kay looked between the two of you, smiling big again, “A little girl would be precious”
“Really” You asked still in shock, looking up at him from his side. “I didn’t know that”
“That’s what I’ve been picturing,” He nodded, chewing at his lip and glancing down at your belly, “A little girl bouncing around”
“Well regardless if it’s anything like my cousin here you’re gonna be in for it” Tyler laughed.
“Good thing we’ve got all of you to help us” You say, looking around the room and smiling at them. A melancholy feeling had taken over your happy mood.
*
At 8 months pregnant you were miserable. Your feet were swollen, and your stomach was so big you could hardly sleep at all. Most nights you left the bed to Bjorn, finding that sleeping straight up on the couch was the closest you would get to a full night of rest. You waddled everywhere you went and was always out of breath.
Bjorn had finished his shift in the mines and came into the trailer to find you sitting on the couch, balancing a plate on your belly with your feet propped up. You'd been playing one of his games, something you'd grown to be good at, considering there wasn't much else to do.
He had showered and plopped down on the couch next to you. "Are you hungry?"
"No, thanks"
"Are you sure? What did you eat today?"
"Enough" You sighed focusing on the game, moving the controller as you shot at a spaceship. "It's all I do all day now"
"What's your problem?" He asks suddenly, taking a sip of his beer and looking at you.
"What?" You asked, biting your lip as you shot again, "I'm fine"
"You're obviously not"
"What are you talking about?"
"Whatever" He huffed, standing from the couch and moving to the kitchen.
"Bjorn what the fuck is your problem?"
"What? I'm communicating, you said we should communicate. I'm asking what your problem is, that's communication"
"Whatever" You groan tossing the controller down on the small table and standing from the couch, holding your lower belly as you did.
"Do you not want me to check on you? Make sure you are eating enough for my baby?"
"No, you can check on me" You plead as you waddle into the kitchen, watching as he opens cabinets and shuts them hard.
"Well, I just did and now you're mad"
"You asked if what I ate today and I answered" You defended, watching as he opened the cabinets and began to make himself noodles.
"You might as well of told me to fuck off" He laughed, turning his back to you as he messed with the stove.
"Oh my fuck" You shout, slamming your hand on the counter near him. "What is this about?"
"Just say you're mad at me" He demands turning around to face you as the water begins to boil in the pot next to him.
"I'm not mad, you're picking a fight for no reason!"
"What are you talking about?!" He shouts.
"You're on edge or something and you're taking it out on me" You shout back, "Did something happen in the mines?"
"Great, so you're mad and now it's my fault?" He asks, turning and holding his arms out dramatically.
"I'm not mad at you" You scream at him, leaving to walk to the bedroom. Halfway down the hall you hear his snarky voice.
"Could've fooled me"
"Ok" You shout again, coming back into the kitchen, holding your stomach with both hands now, "We need to talk about whatever is going on with you"
"I don't need to talk about anything"
"Really? Because you're acting like a fuckin' child right now" You yell, watching as he slams the fridge door closed after grabbing another beer. You took a breath, feeling the baby kick and thought for a moment before adding, "What happened with Tyler?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Before you left today you told me about the message Tyler left, he wanted to see you after your shift, he said it was important" You recounted, "You see him and then come home like this, so what happened?"
"Nothing" He said, a tone in his voice that you hadn't heard for many months now.
"Really? Because I can call him up right now and ask him myself" You threaten, walking closer to him and taking the beer from his hand. When he stood against the counter, staring at the boiling water you laughed extremely annoyed at this situation.
You left the kitchen, grabbing your data watch from the couch and calling him. It rang for a minute but there was no answer. Tyler always answered you when you called.
"I'll just go over to his trailer and ask him, I'm not playing this game with you guys" You slipped on your boots, not bothering to tie them as you headed toward the door. "Someone is going to tell me what the fuck is going on"
You open the door to the dark sky outside but before you can open it fully to leave Bjorn's hand comes up and pushes it shut. "Sit down"
"No, not until you tell me what is going on with you and what Tyler said to you" You argue, jerking the door against his weight.
After a minute he sighs, "He found a way out"
"A way out?" You let go of the handle of the door, backing up and sitting down on the couch. "What are you talking about?"
He came to sit on the table in front of the couch so he was able to touch your knees. You rubbed your belly as he spoke.
"He found a way out of here, one that doesn't require a travel permit" Bjorn was speaking slowly, not nearly as much excitement as you thought he would have in a situation like this. "There's a ship floating above us, he saw it on the scanners. It has enough cryo pods for everyone. We could get out of this system completely"
You nodded, not wanting to interrupt him.
"We have a small window to hijack it and take the cryo pods and get out before they realize what we are doing" He explained. "We could do it, he and Andy and me"
He dropped his head, hanging it low as he sighed, looking like he was trying to find the right words to say.
"Bjorn, what's wrong?" You asked quietly, reaching out and squeezing his hand, "This sounds like a great plan, our way out just like we planned. Our baby could see the sun, breathe clean air-"
"By the time it's close enough for the Corbelan to reach it, the baby would be here" His voice was shaking and you didn't realize he was crying until he looked back at you, blue eyes wet, "It's too risky to put a newborn in cryo-sleep.
We
can't
leave with them"
***********
disclaimer: I have no idea if babies can be put in cryo sleep but for the sake of this fic, we are gonna say no lol