my mom just texted me on the family chat to ask me what i thought about a specific neopronoun.
guys, when i first came out she didn't understand why i wanted everyone to know i wasn't straight, because why would bring up sexuality or gender in a polite conversation? isn't that like bringing up sex at the dinner table? she went from that, to only talking about and asking me questions about queerness in absolute privacy, to openly and meaningfully discussing it with friends and family and anyone she thinks will benefit from the conversation. she's gotten so amazing at asking questions and listening to what people with personal experience have to say before throwing a firm opinion around, or even developing a firm opinion.
her learning and openness has allowed my dad to unfurl a little, to where he can make eye contact with me across the table and say, "one of my coworkers' kids came out as transgender, too," when last year he couldn't even handle a discussion on my sexuality or gender without bringing theology into play. he may never be comfortable talking about my sexuality in particular, but i think that's something we're both going to have to come to terms with, because he really can't handle thinking about his kids in any kind of sexual-coded context.
it can get better. i'm not gonna promise it will, because birth families can be shitheels refusing to grow, but sometimes, with patience, distance, and time, you might find more acceptance and love than you ever anticipated from your parents.
