All The Wrong Ways Part 4 by chimaeracabra
When I was trying to sleep, I kept feeling a draft. One of the windows in my bedroom had been smashed, so there was no way to stop it. I got up and went into my closet for an extra blanket. That was one thing I always hated; I was almost always cold when I slept. Almost always, including during the summer. It wasn't necessarily so much that I was cold, I just needed to feel secure, like something was holding me in place. I knew that it was one of the reasons I needed Shannon. He would always put his arms around me when I slept, and I missed that, us being close. There didn't even have to be sex every time, I just needed him. Needed his presence. He was sleeping on my couch downstairs, probably suffering worse from the draft than I was. When I woke up the following morning, I quietly stepped downstairs and stood in the doorway of my den where Shannon was fast asleep on the couch, a glass and a bottle of the merlot I had opened a week ago half empty on the floor beside him. I could see his pit hair, as Shannon's arm was strewn over the arm of the couch. He had taken his shirt off, to my surprise, and didn't use the blanket I'd given him as more than a footrest. He looked so beautiful there. I just wanted to get on the couch and lie with him, but I wasn't going to make things that easy so soon. I sighed and stepped quietly towards him. His breaths came out in gentle waves, pushing stray bangs out of his face. I knelt beside him, listening to him breathe. His lips looked like they were just begging to be kissed, but I refrained. I started to pick up the wine that was there, taking my gaze away from Shannon. I reached for the glass, but dropped it and gasped when I saw a fly buzz out of the empty bottom, having taken over after Shannon. I fucking hated flies, especially when they were in my house. The glass dropping on the floor had woken Shannon, because when I looked at him again, his gorgeous hazel eyes were looking up at me. I stood abruptly and picked up the merlot and the glass, which thankfully hadn't broken when I dropped it. Shannon watched me do this. I turned away from him and started out of the room; I needed to find something to kill the fly with. I put the wine and glass by the sink. When I turned around, Shannon was standing in the entrance to the kitchen.
"You're going to help me pick out new windows," I said. Shannon looked very tired, but he nodded.
We spent almost all of Sunday at Lowe's, and then Home Depot because I couldn't decide which stained glass design I wanted to replace my front door's window. But Shannon was extremely patient with me, and I wondered if he wouldn’t have been if he weren't on probation, for the lack of a better word, with me. On our way back to my place, Shannon was more than delighted to hear on the news that a man who had been stealing things and breaking into houses in my neighborhood had been caught. I could tell from the description of the most recent home invasion that it was probably the same wackjob that had broken into my house. I felt a bit of relief upon hearing that he'd been caught. Shannon helped me start to fit the windows. In all honesty, we had to communicate and cooperate a lot to get everything done, and I felt that it was almost as if it were some sort of curative exercise for us. We were nearly finished when I said I would make dinner. I believed Shannon deserved a break after helping me all day, and I wanted to repay him. He had successfully put in all the screens that had been destroyed, so I didn't have to worry about killing any more flies. There was just one more window to replace, which was in my bedroom. Shannon stayed up there to finish while I cooked. When we ate at my kitchen table, I made sure that I was sitting on the other side of it, out of Shannon's reach. He was sexually frustrating to look at while the sweat glistened on his shoulders under the fluorescent lights. I had put the fan on so that it would oscillate, and it kept blowing Shannon's bangs back every time the air hit him. I felt like a wet sponge in that goddamned heat, and looking at Shannon wasn't making me any cooler. He grinned at me once with a closed mouth and I stared down at my plate and finished it, unable to not reminisce the last dinner we shared at my house…but I still wasn't in the mood for dessert. I really wanted to forgive Shannon completely, but part of me would just not let go of what he'd done. Yet I was still sitting there, giving him a chance. We sat there in silence for few minutes, delighting in the fan as it oscillated back and forth between us by the table, sipping iced water.
"Thank you," I said again. Shannon nodded in response. He sighed.
"I guess I'll get going," he said. "I mean, I need to go home and change…shower," Shannon said, standing and picking up his plate. He walked over to my end of the table and picked up mine. I nodded and didn't look at him, but as he did this, the fan oscillated my way, and gave me a nostril full of Shannon's sweat. Normally this would have seriously disgusted me, had it been any other man, but he didn't quite stink to me…he just smelled like Shannon. It had been somewhat like that, although a lot less heady, in my bed the night before. I could still smell him there, and that scent intoxicated me. My heart raced. I heard Shannon put the dishes in the sink and start the water. I inhaled so deeply when he walked past the fan, sitting back in my seat so that my head reclined, and closed my eyes, breathing Shannon in. I heard the clink of silverware.
"You alright, Des?" Shannon asked.
"Mhmm," I hummed.
I stood up and started putting away the ingredients I had used to cook. I paused and listened to Shannon take an empty pot off the stove and bring it to the sink where he began to wash it. I turned around and watched him there, his back to me. His shoulders, his back, his lean arms, were all on display to me. He needed to leave, before I let it get the best of me. I wasn't sure if it was just the heat or me, but there was no way I was going to let him spend the night again. When Shannon was finished, he dried his hands on a dish towel.
"At the very least, I won't be so worried about you being here alone. But will you do me one favor, Des?"
"What?"
I followed Shannon out of the kitchen. He went into my den and plugged the phone back in. I looked over at him.
"I know you did that because you didn't want to talk to me," he said, and I knew that Jared had told him all about that.
"I already plugged in the one upstairs, too," Shannon continued. He picked up my cell phone which was sitting on the new coffee table he'd bought me that day.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I won't call if you don't want me to, but I'll feel better if you know that it's me when I do," he said. I waited a fraction of a minute before Shannon put my phone back on the new table. I nodded. Shannon took a few steps towards me. I crossed my arms to signify how closed I still felt.
"Des?"
"Yes."
"I'm glad you didn't make me leave last night. You know, I was really worried about you when Jared called me. I really was. I came over here after we fought because I couldn't have left you alone here. I was here all day until you came back…I'm sorry for scaring you. I'm sorry for being a fucking idiot. I'm sorry for cheating on you," he said. His eyes looked very innocent and they were honest, and I knew that everything Shannon was saying to me was true.
"I'll apologize for the rest of my life if that's what it takes to earn your trust again."
"You want to earn my trust?" I asked honestly, tilting my head to the side. Shannon nodded.
"I get that you're sorry, and I believe that you are, but let me tell you how you can earn back my trust." Shannon was listening carefully, "Don't hurt me like that ever again…you know, I never told you the truth about Evan," I began, remembering my previous relationship. I looked Shannon in the eyes.
"He didn't die in a plane crash on a flight to a business trip…I caught him in bed with my then very good friend a week after he proposed to me…When I took that ring off, when I told Evan it was over, I also told myself that I would never let a man destroy me like that again. Shannon, it doesn't matter that you love me, you have to prove it. Prove it to me by giving me a reason to trust you. I was almost reluctant to enter this relationship when I met you, but I think we both know that there's…this pull that neither of us can really deny."
He knew exactly what I was talking about.
"I know, Desi. I didn't expect you to get over what I did in a day—I never did. I just want you to see that I can change for the better. Maybe it's too soon for me to say that, but I know that I can. I don't want to be with anyone else. Not the way that I am with you."
I felt my own eyes watering then, but I held back the tears.
"I promise, Des, if I ever cheat on you again, you can leave me, and I'll stay away from you," he said, his voice faltering off into a whisper. Shannon swallowed like there was a lump in his throat, "I won't make that mistake again." Shannon approached me carefully, placed a quick kiss on my forehead, and grabbed his shirt off the coat rack before leaving. I felt a huge sense of relief. I really believed it would be different this time. I hoped that it would be. I also knew that hope was a very stubborn thing…
Shannon gave me space, like I needed, but sometimes I just wished he was there to come home to at the end of the day. I thought about how he'd asked me to move in with him, so I could keep an eye on him. I started to wonder if I should seriously take him up on that offer. I had vented my frustrations to the only true friend I had at work, Uno. He was openly gay, devilishly good looking, and I loved him. I'd told him things most of my female friends didn't know about. He, now aside from Shannon, was also the only one who knew the truth about the end of my previous relationship. Monday morning, I was confiding in him all about Shannon. I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do. I believed that he loved me, he just kept slipping. Uno told me it probably had nothing to do with me. He thought that it may even have been a sex addiction, something Uno said one of his friends had been through, most of his relationships having suffered as a result.
"Shannon is not a sex addict."
"Well, how often do you guys have it?"
"A lot," I said without hesitation, and then I hesitated.
"Mhmm," Uno hummed. I scoffed out loud.
"One thing is for certain," Uno said cheekily, perching himself on my desk and pushing his hand through his blonde hair which nearly reached his shoulders. His lightning blue eyes scanned a print out of some advice I'd been working on the previous week, "You were venting about Shannon in your advice column. We can't print this…you can't say that in an advice column," he said, turning around in an agile manner with his lithe body so that he was facing me.
"Honey, this isn't even advice; it's just a paragraph of curse words."
At that, I laughed, but Uno was being serious. He was pale and tall, and I could see the colour rise under his cheeks as his eyes flitted over the rest of the article.
"You have a way with words, Ms. Dunn," Uno added. "I would say, give Shannon Leto one last chance, and if it doesn't work out, there's always Jared."
I slapped Uno's arm, and not playfully.
"Well, from what you were telling me, it sounds like he's into you."
"I love Shannon," I said. Uno's cheeks reddened again. I rolled my eyes. He'd had a crush on Jared for a very long time. I remembered him having begged me to let him tag along for my trip when I interviewed 30 Seconds to Mars, just to get a look at Jared in person. I shook my head.
"I'm just playing with you. I know you love him, but if he can't keep it in his pants," Uno's eyes flitted back and forth across the room for a moment before he lowered his voice and leant in so that only I could hear, "he might have given you a V.D. by now. That's no joke." Uno was beginning to get on my nerves. I used a letter opener to poke him on the butt so he'd get off my desk. He yelped and jokingly called for security on his way over to his desk. Despite how he'd irritated me, I laughed. Uno had convinced me to go with him to a club that I hadn't been to before. Clubbing wasn't really my thing, but I knew he was just trying to take my mind off of Shannon. After work, I went straight home to freshen up before he stopped by and picked me up. It wasn't long before we were somewhere downtown and I had a drink in my hands at a bar beside my gay best friend. I really kind of felt good, for once. Whenever a guy would try and hit on me, Uno would wrap his arm around me, or caress my butt, and they'd go away. I had to fight not to laugh at times, knowing that he posed no actual threat to them. I thought that the music was interesting and I was actually enjoying myself. We weren't there for more than an hour before Uno's eyes opened so wide that at first I thought something was wrong. I tried to talk to him over the noise of the music that was suddenly playing when I decided to just look in the same direction in which he was gaping at something. I spotted Jared making his way towards me, and he was looking right at me. I pretended not to see him at first, and then I waved. I was still a bit pissed with both him and Shannon, and I had been trying to enjoy a drama free night. Uno gripped my arm and shook it, calming himself down. Jared made it to me and asked how I was. He didn't ask me about Shannon, but I started to say that we were just taking things slowly at the moment. Uno's hand shot past my face and extended towards Jared, who shook it when I nodded at him. The music died down enough for Uno to be heard.
"I don't know if you remember me, Jared," he explained, "but I met you about two years ago, on your Into the Wild Tour. Des here was interviewing you."
"…Oh, right…Uno?" Jared said.
I knew that Uno was absolutely screaming internally over the fact that Jared remembered him, but he kept his demeanor collected. At the same time, I had told Jared a few times while visiting Shannon on tour that Uno missed him, and I think that Jared got the hint.
"What brings you here, Des?" Jared asked me.
"Uno," I said, finishing my last drink. My best friend laughed.
"What brings you here?" Uno asked Jared.
"My brother. Shannon's DJing with a friend, so I came here to support."
My heart leapt upon hearing Shannon's name. I looked around and Jared glanced at me from the corner of his eye, aware that I was scoping the crowd for Shannon. Uno nodded and carried on some light conversation with Jared that I wasn’t really paying attention to. I was just glad that he'd changed the subject. He knew I didn't really want to talk about Shannon that night, and I hoped he had no idea that Shannon was DJing. But there was almost no way he didn't know about Shannon DJing at this particular club, this particular night. Something told me that Uno knew this all along, but had merely wanted to sneak in some elaborate plan for meeting Jared again.
"You want to get up front with me? There're some photographers here," Jared explained, knowing that he was making Uno's day to ask him to go anywhere. Uno grabbed my arm excitedly.
"Oh, no. I'll meet up with you guys in a bit. I just want to go to the lady's room," I said, patting Uno on the back momentarily. He had ordered me one too many cosmos. I was ready to wet myself. For another moment, I wondered if it was all part of his diabolical plan to spend time alone with Jared. I laughed to myself and hurried to the restroom. When I was washing my hands. I looked in the mirror and fixed my eyeliner which had smudged. I dried my hands and caught a glimpse of something in the mirror. The girl who had been washing her hands at the sink beside me was smiling. She looked very happy. I wondered what lucky guy she was about to go out and meet, and suddenly I felt a bit depressed. I wanted to smile like that, the stupid smile where each and every tooth shows. There was only one reason women ever smiled like that. I was definitely still in love. I was just scared. I didn't want to get hurt again. I wiped my eyes again and started out of the bathroom. I eventually met up with Jared when I felt somebody grab my elbow in the crowd. It had scared me, and my first instinct was to fight, but I saw Uno's face shortly and calmed down. Jared was looking up somewhere and I followed his gaze to Shannon. He was smiling next to some guy that was working the sound system. Jared motioned towards the exit and said goodbye to Uno, who smiled at him, but I knew he was disappointed when he saw Jared walking out with a woman clinging to his arm.
"Uno, he thinks you're really nice, but you never would have stood a chance."
He rolled his eyes at me and put his hand up. I couldn't help laughing. He still admired Jared, regardless. I was hoping Shannon wouldn't see me in the crowd, but I think that he did. I was a bit annoyed at Uno for being so tall and pasty when I stood next to him. He stood out. I knew Shannon saw me twice before I told Uno as loud as I could that I needed some air. He pointed to his cell phone, and I knew that he wasn't going to leave with me. I only hoped I would make it out of there alive. I stood outside and breathed for about fifteen minutes. Sure, there was air conditioning inside, but it could still get too hot, and touchy feely in places packed with that many people. I sighed. I wanted to go back in with Uno, but I didn't want Shannon to see me with him again and possibly get the wrong idea. It wasn't exactly stereotypically obvious that he was gay. I relaxed and assumed that Shannon must have seen Uno with Jared at the crowd front at some point. I must have stayed outside for longer than I'd meant to, because people started leaving. Uno had texted me twice asking where I was. My phone vibrated again and I looked to see that if I didn't respond in the next five minutes, Uno was calling the police and organizing a search party. I laughed at his sass and texted him back to say that I was outside. I fought myself not to, but about fifteen seconds later, I chased that message by asking Uno if he could still see Shannon. No, was his response. I walked a little bit, but I didn't get far before I felt my arm being grabbed. I thought maybe it was Uno, but when I turned around, I didn't recognize the man gripping me.
"That's a really nice dress," he said.
"…Thank you?"
The man, who was still holding my elbow, stepped a bit closer. Under the streetlights, I could tell that he was around my age. He wasn't unattractive, but something just wasn't right about him and I immediately began to feel uncomfortable. At the same time, I could have sworn I'd seen him before, somewhere.
"Can I have my elbow back?" Gently, I tried to reclaim it, but his grip tightened.
"Want to come inside? I wanted to dance with you, but I didn't get a chance to ask. You just disappeared," he said. I laughed lightly, again trying to reclaim my elbow. He gripped it uncomfortably tight then.
"Just one dance. I promise I won't bite."
"Actually, I'm waiting for my friend. He'll be out in a minute." The stranger still wouldn't let go of me.
"The gay guy?" the man asked. His brown eyes started to scan me up and down frantically. I laughed for a second, forgetting that I was talking to a complete stranger.
"Yeah, Uno decided to drag me down here for a night out…How'd you know he was gay?"
"That's a really nice necklace," he said, "It's not as nice as the opal one, though," he said almost absently, as if he'd forgotten I was there and could hear him. And then he paused and his eyes widened a bit.
"…How did you know about my opal necklace?" I asked, the break in flashing across my mind. That and one of my sweaters had been the only things missing that I could think of when I had cleaned up my house.
"Let's go inside, Desiree," he said, smiling and dismissing what I'd said.
"I don't know you. How do you know my name?" His smile began to fade. "How do you know about my opal necklace?" I asked again, this time defensively. I was very confused for a few seconds, and then he grabbed at my necklace and started pulling. I screamed and hoped that I would alert somebody, anybody, to what was going on. I got angry very quickly. My house had already been broken into, but I was damned if I was going to let this creep steal anything straight off me. I started to hit him with my fists as hard as I could. He kept telling me to "chill out." I thought he would give up and just go away, but he pulled me out into the street and kept tugging at my necklace to get it off. I was screaming, the next thing I knew, and he pushed me hard on the hood of a car. The alarm started going off. I was screaming for help when finally he ripped the necklace off. I thought he would just leave, but he started in on my bracelet, too. A fist swooped in from what seemed like nowhere, and my attacker fell back. He turned his attention to whoever had punched him, and then I heard Shannon swearing, and he was kneeling on the guy's chest on the concrete, punching him in the face. Somebody rushed over to me and grabbed me. I freaked out until I heard Uno's voice. He was asking me what was going on, and I had no idea, to be honest, but Shannon was beating the shit out of this man and I didn't really feel inclined to stop him. There were police nearby and somebody alerted them. Shannon got up off the guy before they had to break up the fight themselves. Shannon's face was full of anger, and he had given the guy a bloody nose. Uno was looking on in horror, gripping my arm.
"Are you okay, Des?" he asked me, his eyes wide with bewilderment. The creep was still clutching my necklace. I shook my head slowly. Uno was glaring at Shannon, and Shannon looked at Uno with confusion.
"This is my friend," I explained before the police started to put handcuffs on Shannon. He tried calmly to tell them what had happened, but they handcuffed the guy he'd beaten up, too, and said they were going to have to take them in. They were especially unnerved when they found a gun in my attacker's pocket. I intercepted the situation. I wasn't just going to watch Shannon get arrested.
"No, that's my boyfriend," I explained, "and I don't know who that is, but he attacked me. He knew my name, and he tried to take my bracelet," I explained. It wasn't hard to believe when the police picked up my necklace lying in the street.
"How did you know about my opal necklace?" I asked the guy angrily again.
"Are you the one who vandalized my home?"
The man didn't say anything to me. He just glared at Shannon as one of the officers was patting him down again while he leant against their car. They opened his wallet and inside found, to my further horror, pictures of me, and other women, leaving their houses. I recognized one of the photos to be my neighbor, and I felt like I would be sick. I wasn't sure whether it was the cosmos or the fact that I had apparently been stalked that made my stomach churn painfully. One of the officers took the handcuffs off of Shannon after we thoroughly explained the situation. I told them about the break in at my house the previous week and it really all began to add up. Uno was still standing there, but he stopped glaring at Shannon.
"Did you take my opal necklace?" I asked the guy again. He just smiled at me creepily as a line of blood ran down his lip.
"He took my necklace," I said, and I knew that Shannon knew what I was talking about. He looked disturbed when I glanced at him. I shook my head.
"Des, it's really late. We should go. You don't want to be late tomorrow," Uno said, trying to lead me away from Shannon once the police drove off with the creepy guy.
"Can you give me a minute?" I asked Uno. He sighed and walked away. Shannon leant against the lamp post.
"Are you okay, Des?" he asked me. I nodded.
"Did you meet Uno? Is that why you came out here?" I asked, wondering how they'd managed to find me just about in unison. Shannon shook his head.
"No, I saw you with Jared and some blonde guy. I had no idea who he was…something didn't feel right when I stopped seeing you with that blonde guy," Shannon admitted.
"…His name is Uno," I said.
"Okay. Well, I'm glad I came out when I did. I hope you and Uno have a nice night."
Shannon looked at me a good five seconds before turning to leave. I laughed out loud and he turned around.
"He's gay, you know. I wasn't…with him, if that's the real reason you came looking for me."
"I didn't think you were with him," Shannon said calmly. He glanced at his fist where there was a bit of blood. He rubbed his knuckles against his shirt.
"I'm sorry you had to see that," Shannon said, "But when I heard you screaming, and I saw that guy on you…" Shannon shook his head. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes. I'm fine. Shannon, he must be the one who broke into my house, though. He started talking about that necklace you gave me. He knew my name. I've never met him before," I said. We had both thought they'd caught the guy that was breaking into houses, but after what happened, I knew we were both wrong.
"He was fucking stalking you," Shannon said. I didn't feel so safe suddenly. I pulled my arms to myself uncomfortably. I felt utterly invaded then. Despite that, I couldn't ignore the way that Shannon continued to rub his knuckles on his shirt. His bicep bulged a bit there and I wished that I could feel those arms around me again.
"I've been thinking, and especially after what happened just now, I don't know if I feel safe living by myself anymore. Does your offer still stand, Shannon?"
Jared and Shannon barely let me lift a finger as I watched them carry in boxes of my crap. Shannon's house didn't feel like home yet. I hadn't spent the night there since the first time he'd admitted to cheating on me. I knew that it would take some getting used to, but I thought that it was for the best. I had taken a few days off of work to handle all the madness that was going down with my break in and the stalker. Just as Jared and Shannon were finishing bringing my things into Shannon's house, the police swung by and dropped off my missing necklace and sweater, claiming that it was no longer evidence. The guy admitted to stalking me and a few other women around where I lived. I was thoroughly creeped out and didn't even notice the way I was leaning into Shannon's chest until he started to rub my back comfortingly. I glanced up at him as the police explained that the stalker, Miles Saller, worked in my building in the mail room. It was no coincidence that a coworker and I were two of the women he was stalking who lived in the same neighborhood. I closed my eyes, and I could smell Shannon when I inhaled. When the officer left, Jared was just shaking his head with wide eyes.
"People are fucking crazy," he said, "I've got to go. I'll see you guys later," he said, leaving shortly after the police officer. I stepped away from Shannon, clutching my sweater. I dropped the necklace. Before I could reach down to get it, Shannon was already picking it up. He took his sunglasses off and tucked them in the neck of his t-shirt. He was looking at the necklace for a long moment, during which time a smile lit and faded on his face. I was happy to have that necklace back. Not only was it because I thought it was pretty, but Shannon knew as well as I that it was the one he'd given me for our one-year anniversary.
"I'm glad they gave it back." Shannon handed it to me and started into his house. I stood there a moment and followed him. He didn't make it far into the house before I grabbed his shoulder and he turned around. I kissed him almost instantly, catching him off guard. I couldn't take it anymore. Shannon looked down at me curiously after the kiss broke.
"Des, you don't have to do that. I know you just moved in with me, but I don't expect everything to go back to normal just like that."
"It's not normal, Shannon," I said, wrapping my arms around him, "not everything is back to normal, but I'll admit it; I'm still in love with you, whether I like it or not. I think you knew that…I think I'm ready to trust you again, to try this again."
Shannon wrapped his arms around my back, "You don't have to feel rushed just because you moved in with me."
I laughed.
"Shan, do you want to fuck me or not?"
He grinned and picked me up bridal style. Shannon carried me up the stairs to his room. I didn't waste time taking off my shirt and bra. As I did this, Shannon knelt in front of me and started to undo my shorts. He pulled them off after unbuttoning them and I felt his lips on my legs. I moaned slightly and he gripped my behind. I ran my hands up and down his arms. Shannon took my underwear off in one fell swoop and stood to face me. I took his sunglasses out of his collar and placed them on the nightstand. He went to work taking off his shirt as I unbuckled his belt and pulled his jeans down, stripping him bare. He stepped out of them, clutching my hips and leading me back towards his bed. My body already began to tremble with anticipation as he sat me down, his kiss never breaking from my lips I pulled his hair out of its pony tail and ran my fingers through it repeatedly. Shannon placed one heated hand on the small of my back and the other on my thigh. We didn't rush things this time; we sat there and kissed for a good ten minutes. Shannon was fervently rubbing my hip bones and I started to feel wet. I could hardly tell up from down or breathe when Shannon touched me like that. His tongue thoroughly explored my mouth and battled mine down with dominance inside my mouth. I ran my hands up and down his beautiful arms, kneading the biceps gently with my fingers. Shannon clasped my bottom and tugged my hair back gently to litter my neck with kisses, leading me to lie on my back gradually. I already moaned and I felt Shannon smile against my neck. He was kissing me slowly down my body, pausing at my belly button, I sat up, unable to take it much longer. I tugged gently on Shannon's hair and he rose to meet my mouth in the same time that he parted my legs and touched me firmly. I gasped into his mouth and he rubbed me until I was wet on his hand. I gripped Shannon's shoulders, moaning. He bade me to lie back again and I did. I looked up to see Shannon with a glorious mess of hair about his face, his gaze hungrily feasted where he was touching me. I arched my back upwards, moaning and feeling myself starting to lose control. Shannon rubbed my leg with his free hand in a tantalizingly gentle way, and I parted it further from my other leg. Shannon was already red in the chest and I knew he was making himself crazy just by looking at me. I felt my orgasm approaching as he began to rub me harder, picking up the pace. I sighed his name and gasped, gripping his arm. Shannon appeared to be thoroughly satisfied with my reactions as I twitched a little bit, just barely having missed my orgasm. He moved his hand roughly a few more times, resisting the way that I was tugging at his arm. I was coming undone already. Shannon positioned himself between my parted legs and leant down over me, entering slowly, reveling in the way that I scratched at his chest and grabbed at his shoulders with desperation. He moaned full on when he buried himself inside of me, his abdomen pressed securely against mine, slightly inhibiting my own movements. Shannon gazed down at me and played with my hair, grinning in a wicked way when I grew frustrated that he wasn't moving and I began to buck my hips up against him roughly. He was struggling to control himself, but I elicited a few moans from him. Shannon pressed his waist firmly between my thighs and I groaned painfully, wanting to feel my orgasm to the fullest extent. Shannon pulled my hair back so that I was looking in his eyes.
"Hold still," he said seductively.
I was damn near ready to beg Shannon, but I didn't succumb. Slowly, tantalizingly, Shannon rolled his hips forward. He moaned and shook with pleasure. He sped up and was very rough and I orgasmed before he could thrust a seventh time. I was spent and I lay there still as Shannon brought himself closer. I held his hair back clear out of his eyes and grinned at him, whispering sweet nothings. He paused before he lost himself and kissed me for a while. I massaged his back from underneath him and wrapped my legs around his waist to allow him further into my depth. Shannon told me that I was beautiful, he told me that he loved me. He started to thrust again, with some restraint. I felt myself clenching around him and was taken by surprise when I felt myself anticipating another orgasm. Shannon laced the fingers of his right hand into the fingers of my left. There was so much heat between us and we were a mess of sighs and undulating hips when I met my second orgasm. Shannon paused again, as not to lose himself completely. He nestled his face into my neck, catching his breath as I stroked his hair. I started to understand what he was doing and I kissed his forehead appreciatively. He started to buck his hips again, having paced himself every so often when he felt that he was close. I started to feel a significant sensation welling up inside of me again and I knew I was going to orgasm yet again. Shannon knew it too, and he took me roughly until I cried out and my body shook beneath him and he groaned with finality. I felt the heat of Shannon's thick seed deep inside of me, coating my insides. I shivered, with pleasure, despite the warmth. Shannon propped himself up on his hands and gave me a dozen more gentle thrusts as he softened out. My legs had fallen asleep, and there were pins and needles in my feet, but all well worth it as Shannon lay on me gently to kiss me more. I laid there and rubbed his beautiful head languidly. I was so spent that I fell asleep. When I woke up again, Shannon wasn't lying there with me. I got out of bed, pulling one of the sheets loose. I thought I smelled something pleasant when I started down the stairs. I liked the way that I felt. It was like Shannon was all over me still, his essence. He was in the kitchen at the stove, naked except for a pair of boxers. I leant against the fridge there and smiled at him.
"No, you're supposed to stay asleep until I bring you the food," he said. He was making me an omelet.
"I love you," I said. He grinned at me. The doorbell rang and Shannon handed me the spatula. He told me to keep an eye on the stove while he went to get the door, but not before giving me a very deep kiss. I laughed and shook my head. When I heard someone say hello, I paused. It was a woman's voice. I turned the heat on the stove down and backed away from it to get closer to the door where I could listen.
"No," Shannon said vehemently, "You need to go away, Rachel. We're finished."
"What about last week?" she said angrily.
"No—I'm not doing this with you. That was a mistake. I love Desiree. You need to stop coming here. I'm not kidding."
There was an awkward silence and the door slammed shut. I heard Shannon sigh and I went back to the stove and turned it off; the omelet was finished.
"Who was it?" I asked as naively as I could.
"No one, baby," Shannon said, wrapping his arms around me. He pulled my hair back over my shoulder and kissed the nape of my neck. I felt a lot better then.
"I don't want anyone else, Desiree. I only want you," Shannon said, turning me around to face him. He pushed me up so that I sat on the counter. Shannon cupped my face in his hands.
"Are you still mine?"
I nodded.