This dance, part 3
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Word Count: 2815
Warning: Language, Nightmares
Part 2
It had been a long and draining day. After the run through the city and the subsequent admission of your past to the team it felt like you had been awake for days. The call of your bed was more than you could take. Slipping beneath the covers you felt like you were ready for the calm that sleep would bring. You fell asleep easily as your body was exhausted, needing the rest desperately. Though your mind continued to worry and recall those memories that caused so much pain.
Your dreams were filled with the screams again. The screams that had haunted you since the day it happened. The building was unstable, the whole team knew it before they began the rescue efforts of those who were trying to get out. Ladders from the trucks were moved between different windows trying to pull people to safety. The air already smelled of smoke and it felt like you all were breathing in grit and dust from the clouds created by the falling structures. Several crews going inside the building to do whatever they could before the collapse. You had been with the first crew to go in, breaking through multiple doors to get to everyone that you could. Running out with victims to safety before you would run back in. There were still the alien beings that were flying through the city. Their guttural calls were like nails on a chalk board as they attacked. All of you glancing nervously to the sky, praying they would stay far enough away from your location. It was then the building was hit once more. This time it shook the framework, and the building began to crumble. The realization that the crews needed to get out hit you quickly as you began to scream out towards the men and women with you. Your voice was drowned out by the sounds of the bending metal and the falling debris. The crash of the glass against the ground below was deafening. Then it was silent, so eerily silent until the screams began.
Where was Jason? That was your only thought. His name was on your lips as you began to pull yourself from the rubble as you had not quite got inside again. You had been one of the lucky ones. Or so you were told, too many times to count in the days that followed. In the moment though you could hear their cries for help, the screams of pain. One of your crew tried to pull you back from the building, but you refused. You had to do everything to get to him. He needed you, you needed him. There were a few that followed your lead and began to help, pulling pieces from the piles. Your throat burned from the polluted air, but you screamed trying to direct others and let those buried know you were coming. In reality, it had been hours of searching with hands that bled from the abuse, and you never finding him. He was found days later during the salvage process. This dream was different. It was mere moments before you found him, his broken and bloodied body. His voice in your head was asking again, why you couldn’t have gotten to him sooner. Why were you not strong enough to save him?
Your body was shaken as you were pulled from the nightmare. The light in your room on, as there was someone standing over you, calling your name. “[Y/N]… wake up. It’s a dream. Breathe… It’s okay, it’s just a dream.” The voice was calm and soft as you began to push the remnants of sleep from your mind. You were back in your bed in the tower and Steve was standing over you.
“Oh fuck…” Scooting quickly to sit up, you wiped your face. Your cheeks were wet from the tears. Bucky appeared at your open door; Nat a moment later. He gave you a sympathetic nod before glancing over to Steve.
“Everything alright?” Steve looked at you before turning back Bucky.
“Yeah, everything is fine here. Want them to go, [Y/N]?” Nodding quickly, you wanted their attention off you as quickly as possible. Nat and Bucky left without another word but looked like they wanted to say something. Probably something sympathetic. You did not want their pity. That was the last thing you wanted or needed. Steve watched you for a moment, taking in your pale appearance before he spoke. “I probably know what your answer will be, but I am going to ask anyway because you need to know that someone here cares about you. Do you want to talk about it?”
You had probably rubbed your face and wiped away the tears ten times in the span of thirty seconds since you woke. Looking up to Steve as he sat on the edge of your bed it all came crashing down as the dam finally broke. Every thought, every fear, every nightmare that had occurred since that day felt like it was red hot and burning a hole so big in your chest that there was no possible way it would ever be filled. Your mouth hung open for a moment trying to process before it started to come out. There was no control within you to hold it back. “I can’t stop hearing the screams. They are always there. I can hear his above them all. He… is screaming my name. Over and over until they are gone. I couldn’t get there fast enough. Why couldn’t I do it? That was my damn job, and I couldn’t get there fast enough. I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t…”
The ragged breathing had turned into hyperventilation. You could not stop it. There were no tears now just the sound of you trying to catch your breath. Your body shook, as your hands clenched to your nightshirt. Steve knew there would be no words that would talk you down in that moment. Instead of speaking he did the only thing he could think of. His arms pulled you close to him in a hug that if you would never be able to pull away from. He used his strength in a way that let you know he would hold you like that until you told him to stop. He held you as though he was trying to keep any more pieces from falling. Which in a way was true. More pieces would probably fall if you did not allow someone to help.
You were not sure how long he held you. It could have been hours as time felt like it inched by. Every breath you took felt as though it were minutes for each. All the bleak thoughts and worries and guilt finally began to recede to the dark places they usually hid in the far corners of your mind. Eventually, you fell asleep in his arms. By the time you woke up there was daylight coming through the windows. A soft snore made you sit up with a start. Steve was asleep, as he sat on the floor leaning back against the edge of your bed. Your bedroom door was still open. Your thoughts wandered back to what happened during the night and you realized he must have stayed to make sure you did not have any more nightmares. Which now that you thought about it, you did not have any more nightmares. There were no dreams at all, which had not happened in quite some time. Just like the hug he gave you. A real human touch like that had been probably years now. Sure, there were handshakes and the occasional brief arm around a teammate after a spar, but a real touch had been before you had found your powers. It had felt nice.
Leaning down you shook Steve’s shoulder lightly. “Hey Rogers. It’s morning.” It took him a moment, but he began to stir before looking back to you. Once he remembered where he was, he woke up much more clearly.
“Oh… sorry [Y/N]. I didn’t mean to… uh fall asleep. I was going to stay, make sure you were good and then leave. Sorry I kinda fell asleep on the job.” His cheeked flushed in his embarrassment. You gave him a half smile shaking your head.
“Don’t apologize. I should be the one saying I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall apart like that. You shouldn’t have to deal with the mess I can be.” There was a look of frustration that crossed his face.
“You aren’t a mess and I wish you would just understand… damn you are stubborn. I am here for you. We all are.” Slowly he began to stand before he stretched the stiffness from his body after sleeping in that odd position all night. “At some point perhaps, you will know that. We are family here, even you. You may not feel like that, but you are our family. We don’t let family drown, ever.”
He did not give you a chance to respond before he left your room. You felt horrible now. Steve had been there for you when you needed it and you were still trying to push him away. That was your typical mode of operation now. Not let anyone get close and push them away if they even tried. It did feel good to tell someone about your nightmares, about the thoughts that plagued you often. Hell, you had slept soundly after it all came out. Maybe it would not hurt to let them in… a little bit at least, right?
Later in the day you had found your tennis shoes at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the Tower offices. You were not entirely sure you had left them there but one of the team could have put them there for you to find. As you bent to pick them up a voice from behind called out to you. “Hey [Y/N]! I have something I need you to melt for me. Or try to melt.”
Tony sounded like he was in a very good mood. His entire being showed it when you turned to face him. He looked like he had something up his sleeve. That could prove dangerous. “What do you want me to melt Tony? If it is something of Clint’s I refuse.”
He laughed that Tony Stark laughed before wrapping an arm around your neck and pulling you along with him to the lab. Typically, you would have peeled yourself from his grasp, but you allowed it for the moment, even though every cell in your body cried out to fight against it. Tony noticed, his smiled widened. The glass doors slid open as you entered the lab. There were parts of different devices strewn over several tables. What looked like more pieces of suits he was working on. He pulled you beyond all of that to a table that was covered in different pieces of metal of varied sizes and shapes. “I have been working on a few projects and I was curious. You can melt and freeze every type of metal we have come across in our adventures.”
‘Yeah adventures, that’s what they are.’ You thought to yourself as you rolled your eyes.
“Hey now, don’t roll those eyes just yet.” You noticed Thor standing by one of the back tables talking with Bruce. He has not been back to the tower in months. Tony and Bruce must have some interesting theories to bring him around. “We may have gotten a piece of Vibranium from… well the where isn’t important but we have never tried to melt or freeze it. Not with your powers at least.”
It had not been a thought in your mind previously whether you would be able to damage Vibranium as the only example of it was Cap’s shield.
“Thor also was kind enough to return from the big golden throne in the sky to help us with another theory.” Your eyes went wide.
“You want me to melt his hammer? Are you nuts?” You attempted to twist out of Tony’s hold, but he held tight. Thor crossed his arms looking at you with a smirk.
“I do not believe you are able to melt Mjolnir. It was forged from Uru by the most skilled of the Dwarven blacksmith. Your powers would do nothing against it.” At his words you stopped fighting Tony and just looked at him.
“See, I won’t be able to melt it.” That back and forth went on for several minutes before Bruce finally stepped from behind the table to pull you towards the set up.
“Just take this and try to melt it then freeze it. Simple as that, then we can all get back to life.” Before you had a chance to respond you had a chunk of Vibranium in your hand. With a sigh you ignited your powers which began to heat the metal. You started off slow, unsure of what it would do before you increased the heat. Moments later you had reached the peak of what you could do and still the metal did not melt. Yes, it was hot, too hot for any of the others to touch it, but it did not melt.
“Hot damn, would you look at that. Now freeze it. Freeze it!” Glancing over at him he looked like an excited child. The freezing went the same as the heating. The metal grew cold and even ice formed but it did nothing to damage it. Not that you could see at least. Bruce took the metal and ran some scanner over it.
“Not a molecule out of place. This could mean a lot if we could get our hands on more of this stuff. Might have to put a request in to Fury, see what he could do.” Bruce smiled at you. “Thank you, [Y/N].”
Tony seemed happier than Bruce as he went to grab for the hammer that was tied to Thor’s belt. The moment he removed it from it’s tie it sunk quickly to the floor taking Tony with it. “Oh… yeah forgot about that part.”
You could not help the giggle that escaped your lip watching Tony attempt and fail at lifting the hammer. Thor’s laugh drown yours out though as he picked it up and held it for you to attempt. “Mjolnir is ready for you Lady Fire.”
The nickname made your cheeks flush as you stared at the weapon. Slowly you extended your hand and set it upon the cool metal. The Uru had a different feel than the Vibranium. While the Vibranium had been smoother and was the temperature of the room, the Uru was grittier and felt much cooler than the rest of the room. Perhaps it had something to do with how it conducted Thor’s lightening. The result was the same as with the Vibranium, you could neither melt nor freeze the metal to damage it. The two scientists were ecstatic while Thor seemed partially relieved.
“Oh, the things we can do with that.” Tony laughed out as he looked towards Bruce. The two of them proceeded to ignore anything else in the room while they talked of armor and weapons for the team. You shrugged to Thor and waved before walking towards the door.
“[Y/N]! We have to celebrate.” Tony called to you before you could get out of the lab.
“Celebrate? Celebrate what?”
“This amazing discovery of course. I am going to throw a party! One that you actually have to attend.” In the years you had been with the team you had managed to escape every single party that Tony had thrown. It was not an easy task, but you managed to do it. Several you had been on missions but the rest you had managed to hide before he could find you.
“Tony this is not a reason to celebrate. You just want a reason to drink and show off a new toy.” He looked like he was going to argue for a moment before he nodded.
“True, but you are going to attend, and you will wear something nice.”
“Or what?” Your arms crossed over your chest and your eyebrow lifted in challenge.
“Or everyone finds out about a particular tattoo in a particular place.” How the hell did he know about that?!?!?!
“Tony Stark, I will boil you from the inside out.” The smirk on his face needed to be punched, hard, but he had you.
“Just come to the party and no one will be the wiser. Except these two, but I think they are mostly reliable.” He pointed to Thor and Bruce.
“Fine I will come to the damn party.” With that you stomped out the door to find a punching bag that you could tape a pick of Tony’s face to.
(To be continued in part 4)
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