#alleforen

[proveritate]

❝ i thought i lost you. ❞ from Rick

EVERY INCH OF HER BODY ACHES, littered with bruises and scrapes. Each lungful of air passing through her haggard lungs, scraping at her already raw throat. Her features are gaunt, hollow and she can’t stop shaking and shivering, her breath hitching as the adrenaline begins to wear off, the chill in her bones settling in beneath her skin. 

The blanket wrapped around her shoulders is doing nothing to bring a sense of warmth back to her weakened body, neither is the change of clothes. 

The only thing that can get through to her, speak to her, that can help her to push past the terror that had swamped her, is the touch of his hand, as her own shivering digits are enclosed completely in his touch, stifling the shake that takes hold of her every few moments.

He’d never know how close she’d come to leaving him for good. The words she’d scribbled in the light of her emergency, written in what she thought might be her very last moments. her final heartbeats, final breaths, alone.

But she hadn’t been alone, not really, he’d been with her the whole time, he’d kept her fighting to hang on, to return to him, to return to them. Even when her eyes could no longer focus in the murky depths, body starved for oxygen as the water seeped into her mouth, down into her stomach. When she could barely heave herself up, knees and hands stained with dirt in what might have been her final resting place she thought about him, their wedding, holding tight to the memories of the home they were building together.

But already she could see the damage done, the dark path his thoughts had traveled all there for her to read on his face, the tight line of his lips, furrowed brow and the clench of his jaw, a feigned stoicism in an effort to stay strong. But his eyes couldn’t hide the depth of fear, the torment he’d been going through as well. It had destroyed him, knowing he hadn’t been there, that she’d foolishly gone along with the ruse. 

“No, never,”  the words drip from her lips, head shaking in vehemence. damp hair tumbles over her shoulder as she moves in closer to him, seeking more contact, needing his broad size and warm comforting stature right now and she’s soon nuzzling into the warmth of his neck, her head lolling to rest upon his steady pulse, inhaling softly. 

[animumxfractum]

??? ( for wolfie, I just cant be arsed switching blogs :') )

@fiightcr​  || secret muse thoughts

A fallen angel isn’t enough for Wolfie, but I’m too weak to set her free. Her love is just another drug I’m addicted to. And she deserves so much better. I’m going to be the ruin of her, and I can’t stop myself. I’m a monster.

[orumad]

“ she’s not you. ” @ gil

a soft intake of breath marks gillian’s surprise, she holds it in. who could she possibly be? not possibly zoe, she’s emily’s mother. incomparable. maybe his newest girlfriend, a term used loosely when it comes to cal, not that gill’s met anyone of the sort. she’d quip whether or not the sentiment is a compliment or an insult if his expression didn’t read so sincere. but they’re not supposed to read each other.

head hangs for a moment, thoughtful. “count your blessings, cal.” recovering, she allows a careful smile to fill her lips as chin cants upwards. “the last thing you need in your life is two of me.”

[orumad]

        sat at cal’s desk, her feet up, emily’s the spitting image. only difference is the phone she’s buried her nose in, fervently scrolling networker. still, her dad’s footsteps are telltale. she doesn’t even have to look up.

“--if you’re here to yell at dr. lightman, i’m not him,” she muses, lips pressing together in a smirk. “follow the stressed out voice of gillian foster...,” glittering doe eyes flicker up to meet her dad’s, “that’s what i do.”

@alleforen

[mannsachdd]

❧ @alleforen​​’s jamie travelled through time.

a question lies on the tip of her tongue,   one she has wanted to know the answer to ever since claire told her about jamie.   ever since she found out the truth.   now,  with jemmy asleep in her arms and the question of whether to remain in the past or go back to their own time floating above her and roger’s heads,  brianna has found that her mind often wanders back to that unanswered inquiry.      ❝   when you were at craigh na dun,  did you try?   when mama went back through the stones,  i mean.   did you try to follow her?   ❞

[fortitudina]

🧡 @ claire

                  Things had been treacherous; Black Jack Randall had been after them yet again and as it always seemed to be, Claire had wound up at the captured end of things. It meant only one thing; Jamie coming in to the rescue as he so often did and Claire was, once again, eternally thankful to have him as her husband. Away from the red coats, the drama and turmoil, Claire once again felt safe.

                     His strong arms around her brought with them, a sense of comfort and Claire soon found herself succumbing to the warmth of his embrace. Her head found itself falling against his shoulder and as one of his hands found hers, she began to feel the other gently running through her curls. Such affection; such softness on his part sent Claire into a gentle state of relaxation that had her eyes closing and her breath slowing.     “   Jamie...   ”

                                                              * @alleforen        PLAYING WITH MUSES HAIR  /  ACCEPTING.

[fortitudina]

          “    WORRY YOURSELF, YOU NEED NOT, JAMIE. I AM YOUR WIFE AND BY YOUR SIDE, I WILL REMAIN AND AT YOUR SIDE, I SHALL BE SAFE.    ”      Whatever turmoil might next come their way, Claire would be there, at his side, defending his honour as much as she did, him. Frank was long gone within the past to her and Jamie was very much now her home, as was their bairn that grew within her abdomen. She knew just how much she loved Jamie; more so than she ever could Frank, which at first she found strange but now? Well, she saw it as fate telling her she’d married the wrong man and as such, had sent her through Craigh na Dun to meet Jamie.

               Her slender palm settled itself across the middle of her abdomen. Her dress was subsequently growing tighter on her with each day that passed as her belly slowly began to swell, the further along she grew. But do not allow for her current medical situation to think for one moment that it would ever mean that Claire would step back in life. If Jamie fought? She fought at his side. She was never and would never, be one to sit back on the side lines whilst she watched that of her husband risk his life, time and again --- more so when it was for her.

                                                                                    * @alleforen​           STARTER CALL  /  CLAIRE.

[mannsachdd]

→    @alleforen​’s jamie fraser said:    i hope i never lose ye.

the privilege of seeing her father with her son   was one brianna never thought she’d get to experience.   after frank’s death,  she had accepted the fact that her children would never get to know their grandfather,  but the thought of it still stung deep,  painful like a knife to the heart.   and then jamie came into the picture,  but he was only reachable through claire’s memories and history archives,  and yet again brianna felt the tip of a blade against her heart.   losing her mother yet again to the past was more painful than anything,  but she knew it was right.   claire was meant to be in the past.   that was her fate.   what brianna’s fate was however ...   she wasn’t sure.   perhaps it was the same.   and even if it weren’t,  she was happy to be here,  for however long she was meant to stay.

jamie had offered,  begged even,  to look after jemmy while she and roger tended to their chores;   she grabbed her rifle and went hunting while he finished the laundry and tidied up the house.   it was late in the day before brianna made it back to the big house,  with the sun setting behind the mountains and shadows settling in over the ridge.   she jogs the final steps up to the house,  steps in through the door and is about to call out to her father when she hears his voice floating out from the living room.   moving quickly,  brianna silently leans against the doorway,  gaze falling on father’s back.   he's sitting in his chair,  bent over a bundle she assumes is her son.      ❝   i hope i never lose ye,   ❞      he whispers to jemmy,  cradled carefully in his arms as if he were breakable or made of glass.      ❝   ye or yer mother.   ❞      the vulnerability with which jamie says these words is nearly enough to lure tears from her eyes,  but she successfully blinks them away,  instead allowing a smile to curl her mouth upward.   abrupt emotionality is a new trait of brianna’s,  which she has come to see as one of the less wonderful parts of motherhood.

❝   you won’t.   ❞      she says,  well aware that she was entering a moment she would have more than enjoyed to have watched from afar for hours.   but it was getting late,  she hadn’t seen her son all day and neither had roger.   it was time for them to go home.      ❝   but i do believe it’s time for us to get back to the cabin.   ❞

brianna moves into the living room,  long legs carrying her across the floor rather quickly,  yet by the time she’s made it to the corner where they’d been sitting,  jamie is already up on his feet,  arms outstretched so she could easily take her son.   she does,  but not before giving her father a warm smile and a hug,  lingering a little longer than usual,  her hold on him a little tighter than usual.      ❝   i meant what i said.   you won’t lose us,  da,  not as long as i have something to say about it.   ❞