#ally fail

[kurtmckinnon]

All right, everybody in the choir room! I don't care if you are gay, or straight, or a lesbian, or overweight, just get in here! Right now! Did you know that gay used to mean happy? When I was growing up, it meant lame. And now it means a man who makes love to other men. We're all homos! Homo sapiens.

Will Schuester, Glee 1x07 "Throwdown" (probably)

[kosi-sings]

Scribbles: Safety pin

While galavanting through G-train Brooklyn, I encounter a woman pushing a man away.

“Don’t touch me,” she says in a loud, clear voice, as he continues his attempt to hold and calm her. “I don’t want you to touch me!”

I slow my walking. Private conversations are often loud in New York, but this could be a call for help. Other people walk by. I slow down even more.

“I said I don’t want you to touch me!”

I don’t know how to rescue. I’ve never been interested in the job. Heck, I don’t even know how to BE rescued. Once while I was playing in the subway tunnel a drunk man got way too close to me and tried to hug and kiss me. A man asked me if I needed help. I told him that I didn’t, even though I did. He lingered for a while and then left. The drunk man went away eventually as well.

“Get away from me!”

I’m a small woman, but I happen to be wearing my camo leggings. I look like a militant Afropunk lesbian superhero. What would a superhero do? I keep hearing the word “engage” on the internet. I’m pretty sure I don’t know how to do that.

“Excuse me, ma,” I could say. “You good?”

They’d both look up. He’d bark at me to mind my business.

“I wasn’t eem talking to you, sir,” I could say in my best Brooklyn accent. (I used to live in Brooklyn.) “Ma, you good? You want me to call the cops?”

I reject that immediately. Calling the cops would be a good way to get all three of us Sandra-Bland-ed. I could call someone else. I could let her use my phone. She probably has a phone. I could walk her somewhere. She likely lives close by. I could walk her home.

I’m walking creepily slowly now. I don’t want to be a hero. But we’re living in the safety pin era now. Everyone is vulnerable, and everyone is accountable. I don’t get to say “somebody else will do it.” I don’t get to assume that. I’m responsible now. I am.

This is not the first time this has happened since the election. A few weeks ago, near my block on the upper west side, a man sitting in a parked car seemed to hit the person sitting next to him. I couldn’t see the person he seemed to hit, because it was raining and the windows were fogged. I only assumed it was a woman. I didn’t know for sure. I told myself they were just playing around. I told myself it was maybe not a woman in the passenger seat. I told myself it was okay to walk away. I pictured myself tapping on the window to confirm. I did not tap. I did not confirm. I went home.

And now here I am, lurking in front of the projects in Brooklyn. This is not a good look.

I look back one last time. He has stopped touching her. She has stopped yelling. I resume a normal pace, and assume she’s okay.

I hope she's okay.

...but next time I’ll get involved. Next time.

[knight-castle]

to whom are these widely-circulated “you are loved” posts referring? by whom is the intended subject loved? i am confused. 

the reality for so many people, outside of the uppermost tiers of their particular social hierarchies, is living isolated and reviled and alone. perhaps i’m a terrible old cynic, but it just seems disingenuous and deceptive and maybe actually dangerous? 

perhaps it’s a cultural idiom of tumblr i am failing to understand (those certainly exist in my everyday), but, to me, it feels like false hope, at a time when facing the realities of marginalisation feels especially important.

[systemicexistence]

Today, I heard a straight, cis lady refer to her spouse as her partner and her friend as her girlfriend in the same sentence. Wtf was that.

[systemicexistence]

Her: She was going on and on about how obvious it is that you're gay, and I didn't tell her that you're trans! :-D I'm really proud of myself!

Me: .... *brain implodes*

What I wish I'd said: But.... She thinks it's obvious that I'm gay because I'm kinda gay, not because I'm trans. :-\ I mean, did I tell her about my ex boyfriend? That's pretty gay.

[defilerwyrm]

Protip: If you claim that LGBTQ* folk "have to respect the opinions" of those who think we don't deserve basic human rights like visibly existing, you are not our fucking supporter. You're not our friend. You're not our ally. You're the fucking enemy. Go drown.

[her-insect-reflection]