06 | Redefining Destiny
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→ summary: You were convinced you were in love with him. A former member of the mafia in the states, that is. It was true love. Destiny. Until one day you wake up with a memory lapse; then that love is replaced with hatred. The thought of marriage is substituted with revenge. If your love with Jeon Jungkook really was destiny, you’d fall head over heels in love again. But if only he weren’t such a hot, goading asshole.
→ pairing/rating: jungkook x reader | PG-13
→ genre: 70% fluff, 25% crack, 5% angst | e2l!au & soulmate!au
→ warnings: profanity, mentions of murder, blood, torture and gang activities
→ wordcount: 4.2k
You wake up feeling slightly cranky, groaning as you turn over to your side in early-morning contemplation.
How the heck am I going to face Jeon Jungkook, now?
Maybe he was right. Maybe the two of you should've been drunk yesterday when you'd spilled all of your secrets and confessed your guts out.
Gosh. Now it's going to be awkward.
You scrunch your nose just thinking about it. But the Jeon Jungkook you'd seen yesterday had been so different from the one you hated. He seemed like a genuine person. A person who had gone through too much. A person who was looking to make things right with the little he could impact in this vast universe.
He wasn't as bad as you thought.
Your head rings with the advice he told you. At this age, you should know what's good for yourself. Follow your own dreams.
For a guy who apparently sleeps around, he's wise. And considerate. But then again, he's been through a lot. You hadn't known that his friends had been murdered. The story almost seems implausible, but you have to stop yourself and remember that America is a whole other country with a very different culture and society. Maybe street violence is prevalent in the states. Maybe violence is prevalent there.
You sigh, throwing your covers off of yourself and quietly getting ready for class so you won't wake up your roommates. You guess you'll just have to try to avoid Jungkook until you can get your head back on track and really figure out what was up between the two of you.
But, of course, you should've known it would be impossible to avoid Jungkook. There's some magnetic quality about him that always attracts you subconsciously. You end up bumping into each other at the lunch hall.
Your friends had snorted, about to cuss Jungkook out until he'd spoken a soft, "Hi, Y/N," with a genuine smile etched out on his lips. Their jaws dropped open.
"Uh, h-hey," you'd stuttered. "Yeah, hi."
"I'm starting to think fate really likes us together," he'd said with a little laugh.
"Yeah," you'd agreed. "I, um..." You'd looked between your friends and Jungkook before sighing. If there was no way of avoiding him then you might as well—"Can I have lunch with you?"
Your friends and Jungkook had simultaneously said, "What??"
After the initial shock was sorted out, you'd ended up leaving the lunch hall with Jungkook, each holding your lunches.
Now you're sitting on the grassy lawns of your campus, basking in the noon sunlight as the rather awkward silence encompasses the two of you. You take a small bite out of your dainty finger sandwich from the local bakery. Jungkook just sips his drink in his water bottle. When the man makes no move to talk to you, you take another bite of your sandwich—this time, a larger one. By the fourth bite, your sandwich is gone and there is still silence.
You don't really feel like eating a second sandwich so you brush your hands free from excess crumbs and begin to twist the ring on your finger.
Jungkook notices your anxious movement, his eyes flickering down to stare at your hands.
"That's, um, that's a pretty ring," he offers.
"Thanks," you say. "It's my purity ring."
"Oh."
Silence again. But you like the silence better. It's better than arguing with him about stupid things.
"So..." you say, looking up at Jungkook who's sipping on his drink again. "I, um, it was nice last night." Your cheeks flush as the words leave your mouth and you stutter to clarify. "I mean, I know we haven't been the best of pals for whatever reason... But I don't know. Something about yesterday was pretty eye-opening, don't you think, JK?" The nickname slips from your lips easily—almost as if you've been calling him that since the beginning.
"I guess it was one of those days," Jungkook mutters. "You know, when you feel like you have to share your ordeals..."
"Yeah... I'm glad I got everything off my chest," you say with a smile. "It feels good to know that someone else knows my secret."
Jungkook nods as he continues sipping his drink. "Yeah..."
But he sounds distant, almost lost in his thoughts. And his eyes wander off into the distance, looking nowhere near you or where the conversation was supposed to be. He seems to be thinking.
"Is something wrong?"
"Um," he struggles to come up with what to say. "I dunno. Maybe."
"Maybe?" you say.
"I... Well, I didn't tell you everything," Jungkook says. "But, of course, you're not obligated to listen to me or whatever... It's just that I felt weird. That you told me everything but I left things out."
"Oh, JK," you say. "No, really. The least I can do is listen. I've been terrorizing you for way too long."
"I don't know," he replies. "What I tell you might terrorize you even more."
You cock your head. "What do you mean?"
"God," Jungkook sighs, massaging his forehead. "This is so weird. I just feel like telling you all of this. Even though I shouldn't. I just feel like I have to do this."
"Do what? Tell me what?" you say. "I'm curious, now!"
"You never asked questions yesterday."
"Well, I didn't want to interrupt you."
"I feel like I need to confess this part of my life to you. I weirdly trust you."
"I'm a trustable person," you smile.
"Strangely, I agree with that..."
"Okay, so what was it that you should've told me yesterday but you didn't so you have to tell me now?" you ask, tilting your head curiously at the man in front of you.
"I don't know... You might dump a load of holy water on me or condemn me while clutching that cross necklace of yours," Jungkook sniffs. "But it'll explain a lot of things, I guess."
"That's not how Christianity works!" you huff. "There's something called forgiveness," you say, crossing your arms. "And besides, if you're stalling that much, then maybe you shouldn't tell me. Maybe it's better for me to not know." There's silence after that. "But I want to know, so please, do tell," you admit while twisting the ring on your finger. "Is it that bad?"
"Yeah," Jungkook nods. "It's that bad. But whatever. I should've told you yesterday..." he sighs. "I don't know how to start telling you this," he confesses. "I never told this to anyone."
"You can start anywhere. I won't judge," you tell him, picking up another one of your finger sandwiches and taking a bite.
"Okay," he breathes nervously. He looks around to see if anyone was listening in, but the other students are consumed in their own activities. "Well, I was rich in America."
You frown. "Wha—"
"You promised you wouldn't judge," Jungkook sighs.
"Okay, okay, fine," you say. "I'm sorry. You can continue."
"Okay. Where was I? Oh yeah, I was rich in America. Wait, no... Let me back up. Before I was rich, um, I went there to study while my parents stayed in Korea. I was all alone in a vast country. I was Asian, Americans thought I was Chinese but I was Korean. I had an accent. I looked different. I had squinty eyes—or so they said... I was different and lonely and scared." Jungkook pauses his story to take a deep breath.
"But that's when I met my friends. There were eight of us in total. Seven boys including me and one girl. I had a huge crush on her back then... but um, she married one of the other guys. Anyways, we were pretty tight. All of us were foreign students from Korea, too, so we had a lot of similarities already," Jungkook smiles at the memories. "It was great. They were with me all the time. I met my best friend there. Kim Taehyung. He was the kind of best friend everyone wants but very few are gifted with. I was lucky to have him."
Jungkook takes a sip of his drink again and clears his throat. "I used to prank the other boys with Tae... Good times," he sighs. "Things went uphill when one of the boys—Jimin—thought the... um, the mafia was some cool stuff. We spent our days pretending we were secret members. Pretending we were in luxury suits and going on important missions and all that. Wasn't long until the pretending manifested into a reality."
You audible gasp. "Mafia?" you whisper, tilting your head. Gosh. You should be more surprised than this. But you're not. You should have more questions. But you don't.
"Yeah... the mafia," Jungkook nods. "I dropped out of college. So did Jimin and Tae to pursue it. We were entranced by the promising riches, mostly. It didn't occur to us then that what we were trying to do was necessarily bad. The rest of the boys continued with their education... And the girl... well, we left her out of all of this."
You interrupt. "But I thought the eight of you were friends. Why'd you leave her out? I mean, granted, she dodged a bullet but... c'mon."
"Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you. Her older brother was Jimin and there was no way in hell he'd let her join the mafia. Plus, the Park family was expecting their children to graduate with master's degrees in medicine or some sort. With Jimin out of the picture, she had to step up, I guess. We didn't even tell her where we were going. We just... left one day."
You scrunch your nose but you don't say anything.
"And then, the mafia business started, I guess. It wasn't that hard. LA had a lot of gangs already. We just had to pretend we knew what we were doing. Before we knew it, we were rich. Um, we had a big mansion with hundreds of rooms, a huge kitchen and expensive cars and limos... We were called the—"
"Crescents," you breathe.
Jungkook whirls at you with wide eyes. "How did you—"
"I-I, uh," you stutter. "I don't know. It just came to me. And you were staring at the crescent moon yesterday so I just assumed..."
"Wow. Yeah. We were called the Crescents... I uh, still have a scarification mark to show I was a part of it. It's on my right thigh," he says. "Tae's was on his left thigh..." Jungkook trails off. He takes some time for himself before sighing deeply and continuing. "We were a family, the Crescents. We had each other's backs... At least, that's what we thought."
"What do you mean?" you whisper.
"Our perception of family was kind of an illusion," Jungkook sighs. "First of all, there was a goddamn hierarchy. Tae, Jimin and I were at the bottom of it. Basically, it was because we didn't go to college. We were the only three hitmen in the seven-member gang. So yeah, we got stuck with a lot of the dirty work. House chores and shit."
"I'm sorry..."
Jungkook gives you a sideways glance. "It wasn't that bad at the moment. I didn't really mind doing the chores because I'd always be doing it with Tae. But thinking about it now... man, it was unfair. We were like the servants of a rich family." He sighs, staring at his hands before closing his eyes and frowning in disgust. "I've had blood that wasn't mine on these stupid hands."
He refuses to look at you, squeezing his eyes shut as he continues. "T-There was a torture room. And Tae, Jimin and I would hang around there... We'd get our vengeance through violence. Through inflicting pain on our enemies. Through hurting them so much they wished they were dead. That's the life I lived, Y/N."
"Jungkook..."
"It gets worse."
"Jungkook," you call his name again, moving to encompass his hand in yours. Sudden sparks erupt the moment your hands meet, the force of it making him open his eyes and look at you. He takes your breath away. You squeeze his hand in an attempt to calm him down. "I'm still here to listen," you remind him. "You've changed a lot... since your debut as a member of the Crescents. I won't judge. You can continue."
Jungkook takes a shaky breath before nodding. "Okay," he breathes. "Okay... Um, the Crescents had this business... an underground black-market kind of business. Um, arms dealing. We hooked up all the gangs around the city. That's how we actually got rich. We were a great gang. Everyone was either afraid of us or respected us. But..." Jungkook pauses. "We were kind of a fraud."
"Fraud?"
"Yeah. Normally gangs are pretty large. There's the boss, the underboss, and hundreds and hundreds of hitmen or new recruits. The Crescents consisted of seven members. So we lied about our numbers," Jungkook explains. "The Crescents were one of the largest gangs in the city—or at least, that's what everyone thought. No one dared to challenge us. Until..." he sighs. "Until they killed Jimin."
"They?"
"We never figured out which gang did it," Jungkook says. "It wasn't a murder done out of hatred either. Uh, so, basically, sometimes, when new recruits join a gang, they have to prove they are made of 'gang material,' which means they have to murder as a tribute to join. Usually, the victim is an innocent passerby. And... well, Jimin was the unlucky victim of a new, merciless recruit."
"They just killed him? Just like that?" you whisper.
"That's the mafia for you," Jungkook sighs. "They didn't just kill him. Before that, they tortured him. By the time we got to the body, we could barely recognize it."
"His sister..." you breathe. "Did she...?"
"That's when things started picking up. We knew we couldn't run a gang with only six members. So we brought her in."
"You brought her into the mafia??"
"Yeah..." Jungkook trails off. "That caused a bit of a problem. I mean, we lied to her to make her stay."
"Oh gosh."
"I know," Jungkook sighs. "We told her that her brother was killed by an enemy who wanted to go after her as well. We were trying to scare her into staying. Keep in mind, she hasn't seen us or her brother in six years. It took her a while before she realized she needed us to protect her. We were also the only key for her to get revenge on her dead brother. So, just like that, we became a seven-member gang again."
"Wow," you breathe.
"She hated us at first. And all of us were confused. It was weird seeing her again after so many years... And she was mourning—we all were. We didn't expect anyone to get killed, but it happened, and all we could do was move on. But the night she found the torture room, she tried to leave. I thought it was going to be over then, but Yoongi... the guy who married her later, managed to convince her to stay. From there, it went pretty well. I think she started accepting our ways, despite the violence and cruelty. We all thought we were a family again. Until she left. She took Yoongi with her too. It happened so fast. They fell in love, she wanted to leave the mafia suddenly, so they left. I caught them leaving too. I caught them in the dead of the night, getting ready to leave. God, I was so mad, then. But I let them leave. They didn't deserve the family if they didn't appreciate it.
"The Crescents were a five-member gang now. We felt like we lost everything. Morale was low, days were depressing... the family was falling apart more than before. And just when we thought it couldn't get any worse..."
"Oh no," you breathe.
" 'Oh no,' barely even cuts it," Jungkook says. "Maybe the other gangs saw them leave. I don't know. Something happened and the they found out the Crescents were a five-member gang.
"They ambushed us in our own home. In our own fucking torture room. But they couldn't get to me because I was hiding in the dark corners. They didn't see me. But I saw everything they did. They tortured them first. There wasn't a spot on the floor that wasn't red with blood. I didn't know what to do. Taehyung saw me, in his last moments, and he begged me to leave. He risked more pain and more torture for me. I watched him die because I couldn't leave until they left. But I sprinted out of the place the moment they stopped guarding the door. I didn't know where to go. I would be a target anywhere, so I knew I had to get out of the country.
"I've been here ever since."
It's silent as you try to digest the contents of the tragedy that you were told of. "Gosh..." you begin, shaking your head as your look up at Jungkook's doe eyes. You can tell he's tearing up—especially when he turns away to wipe his eyes with his sleeve. "You must have so much trauma," you tell him. "I'm so sorry."
"It's all right," Jungkook sighs. "At this point, I'm kind of used to the nightmares..." He shakes his head, frowning. "God, this was such a sob story. I'm sorry. I feel bad for telling you all that."
"No, don't feel bad," you say, taking both of Jungkook's hands in yours. "I'm glad that you were able to get the story out to someone."
"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Y/N... You didn't sign up for all that gruesome stuff."
"Hey, JK, I'm really fine," you say. "Besides... um, it sounds weird but I feel like you've told me this before... Or, I don't know, I feel like I've heard this story sometime else."
Jungkook hums. "Is it weirder to say that I agree with you? Maybe I felt comfortable telling you because I felt like I told you this before? I don't know."
"For some crazy reason, I get what you're saying."
"Me too."
"I mean, this... this whole thing is crazy!" you say, shaking your head. "Two days ago, I would've done anything to spite you."
"I would pour a bucket of ice water on your head if I could," Jungkook laughs under his breath.
"What??"
"Two days ago, that is," Jungkook clarifies with a snort.
You nudge him, releasing your hands to cross your arms over your chest. "Very funny, JK."
His heart flutters every time you call him that. In fact, his heart flutters every time you near him, and he can't quite understand why.
"So," you begin, "we've called an official truce. Is that it?" you grin. "You'll be there for me when I want to rant about the stupid classes I have to take to get my degree, and I'll be there for you when you have your bad dreams... Or just whenever you need a friend."
"Well said," Jungkook nods. "It's official, then."
He laughs when you hold out your hand, preparing for a rather professional handshake. But he grabs your hand nonetheless and shakes it.
Invisible sparks fly every which way; both of you cannot see it, but both of you can feel it. Something feels right. Something feels familiar.
The past few weeks have been strange without your usual animosity-filled exchanges with Jungkook. But it had been replaced by friendly talks and discussions.
The more you talk to Jeon Jungkook, the more you like him, and the more you want to spend your time with him. He's an inspiring soul, ex-mafia member or not. He wears his big heart on his sleeve and shares his generosity with you.
It's funny to see him do a complete one-eighty from the man you used to know, but at the same time, you know he can be mean when he tries, which may come in handy in the unlikely chances that you were robbed on the streets of Seoul.
Your days are usually spent researching on getting a teaching degree or learning how to become a great elementary school teacher. Ever since Jungkook told you to pursue your dream, you've been trying to do just that. Your nights are spent hanging out with your friends—mostly Jungkook. Your late nights are spent with you awake in your bed at strange hours of the night. But you don't really mind getting less sleep these days.
Sometimes, it's easy to get carried away in your life—especially when you're surrounded by everything you like. Today, you spent your whole day on your laptop, writing up an application to start online teaching courses. By the time you look up from your screen, it's dark outside. The only source of light comes from the sliver of the moon that clearly illuminates the sky.
A crescent moon.
Suddenly, you feel the urge to get outside for some fresh air. You quickly grab a thin jacket and leave your dorm, mindlessly walking around your campus. After staying cramped up in your room all day, the nighttime exercise does you good. You're feeling so much more refreshed by the time you've walked for almost an hour.
But when you're making your way back to your dorm, you catch sight of Jungkook. He's sitting on a metal bench, staring up at the crescent moon with a nostalgic look in his eye. He looks lonely. Sad, even.
Before you know it, you're already approaching him. "Hey," you say, sitting down next to him.
"Hey," he replies, quietly. He doesn't take his eyes off the moon. "Did you know I was gonna be here?"
"No," you confess. "I just wanted to get some fresh air tonight."
"Oh," he says. "It's a crescent moon," he murmurs.
You don't know if he was talking to himself or if he was remarking for you to answer. You reply just in case. "Yeah... Do you need someone to be by your side?"
"Mhm," he hums.
"Is it Taehyung, again?" you whisper.
Jungkook jerks his head toward you, making you jump back just slightly. "God, I tell myself to move on, but I can't," he admits. "He plagues my thoughts, my dreams... But I don't want him gone. I don't want to lose my memories of him."
You slide your hand over Jungkook's. "It takes time to move on," you say. "It'll be fine."
The man next to you takes a deep breath. "Be strong and courageous," he says, turning to stare into your eyes. "Do not be frightened—"
"And do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go," you recite along with him with a small smile on your face.
"Joshua 1:9," Jungkook whispers. "Saying the verse out loud helps me calm down sometimes."
"That's great, Jungkook," you say. "I'm glad it can help."
"You know, I couldn't sleep tonight," he says. "I just... I kept getting nightmares the moment I closed my eyes. I didn't know what to do. Something told me you'd be out here and I just—"
"You knew I'd be out here?" you say. Your heartbeat quickens the moment Jungkook admits that and your cheeks flush warm heat.
"I-I just got a feeling," he says. "And we're always meeting, anyways, so I thought my chances were pretty good."
You smile. "I think it's just meant to be, then. Right JK?"
Jungkook grins wildly. "Right Y/N."
He doesn't stop himself when he suddenly leans in, softly taking your hands in his. You let out a little gasp when your noses touch, your eyes fleeting down to his delicate lips as he takes a moment to cherish the proximity.
"You know what's weird?" Jungkook whispers, scrunching his nose.
"It feels like we've done this before," you whisper back, smiling.
"Yeah..."
He leans in to meet your lips for one, single, chaste kiss. Both of you pull back, the invisible sparks flying between the two of you warming up your insides and making your cheeks hot. Your purity ring burns on your finger, a reminder that you won't lose yourself completely to Jungkook tonight.
But you let him take you away to his tiny apartment that—for some reason—seems familiar as well. Everything about him seems familiar. Even when he kisses your cheeks and lays you down on his bed, his touch, which should feel rather foreign, is comfortable. It feels natural. When his kisses turn deeper with more tongue, your head goes crazy, and your mind goes absolutely blank.
You're breathless by the time he's pulled away. All of your clothes are intact and are just the way you'd put them on before, but you feel vulnerable under his eyes. But you trust him enough to feel that way.
You end up falling asleep under his covers, completely knocked out after a busy day. Jungkook watches you sleep, making sure the blankets are tight around your figure to keep the warmth in before slipping under the covers as well.
His heart beats uncontrollably in his chest as he waits patiently to fall asleep. And when he does, for the first time in a very long while, Jungkook isn't plagued by his nightmares. Maybe it's because you're by his side.
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