⨰ summary: While standing at the crossroads of your forgotten past and your tumultuous present, you strive to survive—to win—a gruesome war. Amongst pools of blood and unmoving bodies, you traverse foreign territory in search of your lost identity. But unexpected twists and disastrous turns hinder your path to glory. What lengths will you go to be loyal to your nation?
⨰ pairing/rating: yoongi x reader & jungkook x reader | PG-15
⨰ genre: 70% angst, 30% fluff | war!au & magic!au
⨰ warnings: profanity, many deaths, torture, blood & gore, graphic depictions of battle scenes, slow burn
⨰ wordcount: 350k+ (predicted)
⨰ join the taglist! (pm/send in an ask/reply/reblog)
⨰ 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈
[𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚]
let's find out where we are...
⨰ 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈𝐈
[𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐞]
let's find out who we are...
⨰ 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈𝐈𝐈
[𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐰𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐬]
let's find out why we are...
⨰ 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈𝐕
[𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚]
we've found ourselves.
𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐒
⨰ meet the main characters | character list
⨰ which kingdom are you from?
⨰ interested in beta reading?
⨰ the uniform
⨰ music playlist
⨰ official ost (instrumental)
⨰ the creation of lod
Mine is "They don't know about us" and "Swim" MV but I love the whole album sm AHHHHHH!!!!
Ooh I totally get that. I love the vibes of the Swim MV and the beat of they don't know 'bout us!
But if I had to choose a favorite song, it'd be Like Animals. That's the first song in the album that I immediately saved to my playlist. If we're including hidden tracks, the favorite is 100% Come Over—it is criminal that didn't make the cut :')
My favorite MV is harder... idk I like 2.0 bc of the references to Old Boy (I hated that movie btw but it's still iconic) and I thought the scenes had a good mix of humor and "coolness" lol
I hope you write beyond just fan fictions. I hope you get to hear often that you truly are a good writer. May the creativity and the joy of writing never fade in you. Wishing you best. Hope you get published some day.
Omg a thousand virtual hearts to you and more!!!!
This is just so kind and sweet 🥹 I also hope the same things as you do :) And don't worry, I'm working on several original stories that I hope one day may be published!
At first, I'll admit I was confused at the title of the album and felt the album as a whole wasn't as cohesive as the ones I'm used to in BTS' discography
BUT, the more I read the discourse online, and the more I unearthed the behind-the-scenes efforts of the members, what the company pushed them to do, and their efforts that did end up making it in the final product that connected to my culture (i.e. No. 29), I realized my critiques were trivialized lol. TL;DR it's not their fault lmao. I'm just happy they're back and making good music, and I can't imagine the pressure they must've felt to release an album after so long and to have it exceed the expectations of millions
Ooh I have slightly differing answers for my fanfiction and original works!
Fanfiction (I'm sorry I cannot choose one)
Things We Owe to Each Other has stayed with me for years. I love the characters, their healing journeys, and the overall atmosphere of the story. Having written TWOTEO when I was in a dark place in my life, I was able to use my characters as mirrors, which helped me face my own trauma, accept it, and live on
Legends of Darlaria is also one of the stories that developed (and is continuing to develop) alongside me. I was just 18 and in high school when I came up with the idea, and so much has happened since then. Even reading back Act I, I feel so much nostalgia for the person I was when I wrote it. The characters are also why I adore this story so much. Although I've created them, they are my role models, and I wish one day to be as kind and altruistic as the MC
Original
Timeless. This is a story I wrote for myself. It deals with my fears that my career path might misalign with what I believe might be my "life calling" (cough cough, writing). I believe so many others would relate to the sentiments in this story. Someday I wish to publish this!!
Ugh im scared for the bts tickets presale :(( its gonna be a WAR😭but I'm excited for what kind of music they drop in march after all these years. Lets hope it's some good stuff like their old songs!! That would be awesome.
Tbh I've lost all hope that I can even go 😭 I missed the membership pre-sale application deadline LMAO... If there are even tickets left for the general sale, I'll give it a go 🥲
I'm so excited for their album too!! Sometimes I blow off the dust that's been collecting on my bts playlists to recall that they have released banger after banger LOL. I also admit their older songs have a special place in my heart. But even Heartbeat and Your Eyes Tell have had me in a chokehold ever since they came out haha
Happy New Year!!!! ♡ Hope you're doing well.... :)
Happy new year! <3
I was doing pretty terribly a few days ago (due to a sudden and mysterious illness), but I'm doing so much better now!! I have some loose resolutions that I'm bound to somewhat adhere to haha
Aghh nothing like the feeling of the last day before christmas break. FINALLY. FREE. I am actually drained from studying for exams oh my. I hope you have a nice break! This season is just so cozy. Can't wait for ch 44 whenever it will come, super thrilled!
I hope you got your well-deserved rest for the new year!!
My break was great! I went to Japan and San Diego, but all that traveling left me ILL 😭 And as soon as break ended, work and school ramped up, so I've been trudging through with coughs and a snuffy nose lol 💀
I agree, though. I LOVE the coziness of Nov/Dec, and I miss it haha. Ch. 44 is being written slowly and surely... I reread LOD over the break and realized I'm not authoring to my full potential, which means a total revamp!
Not me randomly thinking of those conversations in act 1 of lod with mc and yoongi before they lowkey admitted their feelings for eachother. Like before all that, when they used to go to places alone and just talk. ugsgdgb addictive. I always miss those. Can't wait until they meet again🙈we love jk but...hehehe im on a side.
I loved writing those scenes! It feels so natural to write them together haha. Their vibes are just very ~mellow~ and ~introspective~ and ~thoughtful~
Idk why, but the entirety of act I is so autumn-coded (or winter-coded I guess). I think of LOD more and want to write LOD more during the latter half of the year
See so I have YouTube Music LOL 💀 but they also have a version of wrapped called recap! Here's parts of my 2025 recap:
My Top Artists
Dylan John Sparkes (I was in the top 0.1% listener...)
JENNIE (I was listening to ZEN a lot bc it's a good song)
Max Richter (solely bc of one of my all-time fav songs Richter: On the Nature of Daylight)
BTS (need I explain?)
IVE (they have bangers, I cannot lie)
Top Songs
The Wayshower's Melody | Dyan John Sparkes (I listened to this song 400+ times over the year and this is the sole reason that I'm this artist's top 0.1% listener LMAO)
Vampires | G-Eazy & Bahari
ZEN | JENNIE
Anni's Ballad | Patrik Pietschmann (I'm learning this on piano, hence it's in my top 5)
Sunrise | River Valley AGES (I didn't realize this was by a religious group lol I just like the melody)
My total listening time is 60,972 minutes (extremely low year for me since I'm usually in the 100k). But I graduated, moved across the country, and did a lot more socializing than I usually do, so that explains the lower number
YouTube Music described my 2025 listening as a "cinematic slow burn." The animal that matches my music taste is a snow leopard LOL. I was told, "Your taste is both breathtakingly elegant and fiercely independent. You navigate the wild peaks of emotion, seeking beauty in quiet reflection and explosive energy." Checks out LMAO
Overall, I agree with my recap. This year, I really switched between gentle movie scores and hype k-pop/pop. I think last year I discovered rock and edm and went ham though 🤣
with the way yoongis asking for war prisoners for the first time ever oh my god hes in the trenches he badly wants to know if mc is okay im going insane
AHAHAHAH my favorite trope is a yearning man. Something about a man being in the trenches all desperate and longing is so *chef's kiss*. You BEST know I'll be inserting my fav trope any chance I can get 🤣
I'm so excited I hope the letter reaches him🫢checking for updates everyday💗
Chapter 44 is coming, don't you worry! I'm so excited to share what goes down :D I haven't had this much fun writing a chapter in a while (not to say writing isn't fun, of course, but the past few chapters have been more on the dreary side lol)
⨰ summary: You wake up in yet another unfamiliar place. This time, however, these strangers seem to recognize you. With your previous judgments and aspirations thrown out the window, you're now forced to face where your loyalties really lie. Who will you betray? And which General will you choose to stand by his side?
⨰ pairing/rating: yoongi x reader & jungkook x reader | PG-15
⨰ genre: 70% angst, 30% fluff | war!au & magic!au
⨰ warnings: profanity
⨰ wordcount: 2.1k
⨰ join the taglist! (pm/send in an ask/reply/reblog)
⨰ previous | series m.list | next
⧖⧗Circa Opal⧗⧖
The Darlaean uniform weighs heavily on your body. You reason it’ll take time to grow accustomed to the tight and hueless fabric paired with the stiff leather boots. The silver and purple stitchings that run up your limbs are an exception, but they’re nothing like the scarlet red and vivid gold of the Solarian uniform.
Jungkook promptly picks you up from your door at 6 o’clock, and the two of you begin to venture to the training grounds. The morning greets you with cool mist and the sweet smell of grass. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon, ready to make its debut and splash the sky with color. It’s still chilly from the night—your cold breaths materialize in the air.
The cadets are already lined up in perfect formation, ready to take orders. They all salute in the presence of you and Jungkook. You fidget with your trinket, always having felt uncomfortable with formal military norms. Jungkook, on the other hand, is pleased. He shouts instructions to them, their morning drills, and gestures to them to begin. As the sun continues its ascent, the soldiers dance across the training ground, busy with strenuous exercise, their exertion keeping them warm despite the biting air. You and Jungkook walk around and survey the soldiers, encouraging them when their fatigue hampers their pace. By the time the sun climbs to its peak in the sky, the cadets are finished with their drills. Jungkook orders them to take their lunch break. The two of you have spoken minimally this morning, and you believe it has everything to do with how your conversation ended last night. You’re unsure now if Jungkook trusts you anymore. At what point will he fall completely out of love with you? Will he protect you then?
“—eat?”
You blink. “Oh, I’m sorry… I missed what you said,” you admit to Jungkook, but he probably knew that you were distracted anyway.
“I asked if you wanted a bite to eat,” he says. “Best to eat now when you have the time. I’ll go get us some—”
“SIR!”
Your and Jungkook’s heads simultaneously whip around to the sight of Lieutenant Kim Seokjin running in the distance. He’s panting, frantically waving an ivory envelope in his hand. Seokjin skids to a stop in front of you and Jungkook, presenting his urgent delivery. It’s adorned with a delicate, scarlet seal. You immediately recognize it as the one Solarian officers use.
“Sir,” Seokijin says, gasping for air. “I took the first carriage to the 12th city when I received this. A phoenix delivered it overnight.”
Without a change in expression, Jungkook takes the envelope, turning it over and inspecting it with scrutiny. “Ah, from the Solarian General. Addressed to the Darlaean General.”
Your heart shatters into a million pieces. Yoongi? Your Yoongi? Acquiring the assistance of a phoenix? No, it must be a fire bird—a sol. Your mind begins to race.
“What a surprise,” Jungkook says, dryly. “It’s too early for him to bring up talks for a winter truce. Perhaps he is finally coming around. He must know that his helluvian nation can never win this war.”
Jungkook breaks the wax seal and slips out a letter. You can recognize Yoongi’s handwriting through the thin material where the ink had bled through. The letter is short—only several sentences long. But it’s provocative enough for Jungkook’s expression to morph into anger. “How dare he!” he yells, his fist immediately crumpling up the paper.
Your stomach sinks.
“What did it say, sir?” Seokjin asks, seemingly startled at one of Jungkook’s rare outbursts. Even he’s aware that it takes a lot for Jungkook to express his emotions.
“He wants to bargain war prisoners.”
Seokjin’s brows furrow. “Isn’t that… in our favor, sir?”
“Y/N’s on the list.”
Your jaw falls open. “Me?” you gasp in disbelief.
“Temporary Lieutenant General Kwang???” Seokjin mirrors your disbelief. “What—”
“Absolutely not!” Jungkook scoffs. “Who the fuck does he think he is?”
All you can think about is that Yoongi thinks you’re a war prisoner. Does he think you’re stuck in Darlae against your will? Does he not suspect you to be Darlaean at all? He wrote a letter to get you back. He doesn’t hate you. He doesn’t think you betrayed him at all! Relief floods into your system, breathing life into every muscle in your body, until you realize Yoongi might be lying. He has to know you’re not a prisoner. There were too many obvious clues pointing to your true identity. So is he sending this letter because he doesn’t care that you’re a betrayer? Is he sending you a message? Does he know you used to be the Darlaean General? No, he must have taken a leap of faith—that whoever is the General would relay the message to you. It worked, you’ll give him that.
“Seokjin,” Jungkook says sharply, pulling you out of your thoughts. “Write a letter to the Solarian General for me. Tell this treehugger that we will not partake in any exchange of war prisoners. Send it off using that phoenix of his. Those fucking helluvians! Stealing our animals, too.”
You bite your tongue to keep yourself from rattling off that there is a difference between a phoenix and a fire bird. But it’s not enough to keep you from asking, “Wasn’t the letter addressed to you, Jungkook? Maybe you should write it. General to General.”
“No,” he replies curtly. “It’d only be a waste of time.”
Your eyes close momentarily to help compose yourself. It’s okay, you repeat in your mind. Yoongi wants you back—even after indubitably knowing you’re Darlaean. Perhaps this is his method of contacting you, testing the waters to see if you’ll respond. Your heart pulls its shattered pieces back together.
Giddiness settles in.
He’s looking for you. He wants to communicate with you. It’s like the weight of a thousand fire sols has been lifted from your shoulders. Now all you have to do is figure out how to contact him back.
The answer comes after a long day of following Jungkook around to meetings and cadet surveillance. You collapse on your bed, exhausted, not even bothering to get out of your uniform. Enyx lands on your pillow, cocking his head.
“I’m okay,” you tell him. “I have a lot to think about… just didn’t get the time to do it all day.”
Enyx ruffles his feathers.
“Well, for starters, I think… someone I care about from um, far away, tried to contact me.”
Enyx lets out a trill.
“Yes, I know! I couldn’t believe it either, Enyx, and I want to tell him that I’m alive and I’m well and I don’t want him to worry, but I…”
The phoenix hops over to you, clearly invested in your troubles. ‘But what?’ he seems to say.
“But I… it’s complicated. I don’t know where he is. No, that’s not true. I do know where he is, but I don’t know how I’d ever write him back. I have no means to… I just…” Your heart feels heavy. “I just want to tell him I’m okay.”
Enyx nudges you. ‘Perhaps I may be of assistance.’
“You?” you say, smiling sadly. “I appreciate the offer, Enyx, but he isn’t exactly from Darlae.”
Enyx cocks his head. ‘An even more interesting development!’ he concludes.
“So, unless you magically know the way to the nation we’re at war with, it’s just not possible,” you sigh, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hands. “Thanks, though… For the offer.”
There’s a flutter of wings, then you feel Enyx’s claws grip around your wrist. He trills loudly, insistently. Your hands come off your eyes. “How?”
Enyx chortles.
“Okay, fine, you don’t have to tell me. But you’re serious? You can go there? I mean, isn’t it dangerous…? You’re not exactly um… Well, to put it lightly… No, there’s no way to put this lightly. You’re a delicacy around here.” If Enyx could roll his eyes, you imagine he would’ve right then and there. “I’m sorry! Don’t risk your life over this. Remember? I saved you from the royal butcher years ago. What if I’m unable to do it this time?”
Enyx ruffles his feathers in annoyance. ‘Do you desire my assistance or not?’
“I do, I do! I’m just… I trust you. I trust you! Maybe I’m also nervous, deep down inside. This man… Yoongi… I mean, I’ve mentioned him to you before. I’m assuming he wants to communicate with me, but there’s also a small chance that I’m wrong, you know? That he really thinks I’m a war prisoner, and he doesn’t know that I’ve betrayed him and Solaria.”
‘Ah,’ Enyx seems to say. ‘But it doesn’t hurt to try, child. I have friends in that nation. I’ll visit them on the way. And I won’t be eaten. I promise.’
You don’t need any more urging. Quickly, you rip out a page in a random notebook and scrawl, I’m fine. Please don’t worry. Things are complicated and I don’t know how much I’m allowed to say. Your hand hovers over the paper, quill pen in hand. Do you write more? Can you even say more? An ‘I miss you’ feels incriminating—if the message is intercepted, they’ll have evidence of your treason. You set the quill pen down. You’ll keep it short and simple.
Enyx nuzzles you as you tie the rolled-up message to his leg. ‘I’ll see to it that it’s delivered,’ his bright eyes tell you.
“Thank you,” you say. “Truly.”
You watch the phoenix fly off into a red sunset, blending in with the blazing sky, and for the first time since you’ve come back home, you feel hope.
There’s a knock on the door at 8 o’clock as promised. Punctual as always. You’ve washed and changed, and Jooeun and her team had already set up dinner in your chambers a few minutes prior.
“Come in,” you tell Jungkook.
He emerges from behind your door, dressed fashionably, with his sword attached to his belt as usual. The blue birthstone glints in the warm candlelight. “Thank you for agreeing to have dinner with me tonight.” He glances at your pale green silk gown. “Elegant as always.”
You nod, sitting in the seat that Jungkook pulls out for you. “Thank you. I didn’t want to break tradition.”
The corner of his lips pulls up in a small smile. “Good, good,” he comments, sitting in his own seat across from you. The food looks delectable, whipped ricotta with herbs and honey paired with a basket of fresh bread, a tomato and cucumber salad tossed with fragrant seasoning and the main course: peppered pumpkin risotto topped with sage and thyme. “Let’s eat.”
Over food, Jungkook makes small talk with you. He asks you how your day was, that he tried to keep your schedule light since it was your first day back on the training grounds. You reply honestly, that it was a lot. He nods. “You’ll get used to it,” he says. “Eventually, I’d like to get you back into training, instead of watching others do it.”
You hum. Reasonable enough.
There’s a bit of silence. The food is delicious, the risotto melting in your mouth, the savory pepperiness contrasting beautifully with the sweetness of the honey and ricotta spread. Then, Jungkook speaks up again.
“Did the Solarian General know you personally?”
Your spoon freezes halfway through its journey to your mouth. You set it down. You knew this was coming; it’s rare that nations exchange war prisoners—they’re usually sentenced to death—and it’s suspicious enough that Yoongi suggests this now of all times. But you can’t blame him. He did it for you. He wants you back, regardless of your allegiance.
“He cherished all of his soldiers,” you say, hoping the response is neutral enough to placate Jungkook’s suspicions.
He raises an eyebrow. It’s futile. You cannot possibly deceive a divinist, and especially not a divinist who knows you as well as Jungkook does. “I see…”
The rest of the dinner proceeds in silence. You have trouble looking up to Jungkook’s face. He must know you’re keeping something from him, but he doesn’t pry. Instead, when he leaves, he bids you a polite goodnight. You can feel him pulling away from you, but what can you do? Your heart reaches for someone else, and you await his reply.
⨰ previous | series m.list | next
⨰ a/n: shorter chapter but the next one will make up for it! (side note, i love autumn so much)
please consider telling me your thoughts with a comment, an ask or a reblog :) i love hearing readers' impressions/rambles/predictions! if you want to join the taglist, send in a private message, ask, reply to this post or reblog with your request!
the thought of mc and yoongi seeing each other again after everything — mc remembering her past and how yoongi will take the truth (if he really doesn’t know shes darlean) will send me into a coma
how will jungkook fit into this equation too RAH im so invested
R I G H T ? ? ?
Just a recipe for DRAMA lol. You'll find the answers to these inquiries sooner than you think!
AGHH I FINISHED READING IT TOO QUICKLY😭This was such a nice chapter! I MISS YOONGI TOO HAHHA no but fr im so excited for whats to come i cant waitttt, thanks for this chapter too!!
It was a shorter chapter than usual!! Don't worry, the next one will last you a bit longer :')
And thank you! I'm also excited to share the rest of act II—it gets real wild LOL
⨰ summary: You wake up in yet another unfamiliar place. This time, however, these strangers seem to recognize you. With your previous judgments and aspirations thrown out the window, you're now forced to face where your loyalties really lie. Who will you betray? And which General will you choose to stand by his side?
⨰ pairing/rating: yoongi x reader & jungkook x reader | PG-15
⨰ genre: 70% angst, 30% fluff | war!au & magic!au
⨰ warnings: profanity
⨰ wordcount: 2.1k
⨰ join the taglist! (pm/send in an ask/reply/reblog)
⨰ previous | series m.list | next
⧖⧗Circa Opal⧗⧖
The Darlaean uniform weighs heavily on your body. You reason it’ll take time to grow accustomed to the tight and hueless fabric paired with the stiff leather boots. The silver and purple stitchings that run up your limbs are an exception, but they’re nothing like the scarlet red and vivid gold of the Solarian uniform.
Jungkook promptly picks you up from your door at 6 o’clock, and the two of you begin to venture to the training grounds. The morning greets you with cool mist and the sweet smell of grass. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon, ready to make its debut and splash the sky with color. It’s still chilly from the night—your cold breaths materialize in the air.
The cadets are already lined up in perfect formation, ready to take orders. They all salute in the presence of you and Jungkook. You fidget with your trinket, always having felt uncomfortable with formal military norms. Jungkook, on the other hand, is pleased. He shouts instructions to them, their morning drills, and gestures to them to begin. As the sun continues its ascent, the soldiers dance across the training ground, busy with strenuous exercise, their exertion keeping them warm despite the biting air. You and Jungkook walk around and survey the soldiers, encouraging them when their fatigue hampers their pace. By the time the sun climbs to its peak in the sky, the cadets are finished with their drills. Jungkook orders them to take their lunch break. The two of you have spoken minimally this morning, and you believe it has everything to do with how your conversation ended last night. You’re unsure now if Jungkook trusts you anymore. At what point will he fall completely out of love with you? Will he protect you then?
“—eat?”
You blink. “Oh, I’m sorry… I missed what you said,” you admit to Jungkook, but he probably knew that you were distracted anyway.
“I asked if you wanted a bite to eat,” he says. “Best to eat now when you have the time. I’ll go get us some—”
“SIR!”
Your and Jungkook’s heads simultaneously whip around to the sight of Lieutenant Kim Seokjin running in the distance. He’s panting, frantically waving an ivory envelope in his hand. Seokjin skids to a stop in front of you and Jungkook, presenting his urgent delivery. It’s adorned with a delicate, scarlet seal. You immediately recognize it as the one Solarian officers use.
“Sir,” Seokijin says, gasping for air. “I took the first carriage to the 12th city when I received this. A phoenix delivered it overnight.”
Without a change in expression, Jungkook takes the envelope, turning it over and inspecting it with scrutiny. “Ah, from the Solarian General. Addressed to the Darlaean General.”
Your heart shatters into a million pieces. Yoongi? Your Yoongi? Acquiring the assistance of a phoenix? No, it must be a fire bird—a sol. Your mind begins to race.
“What a surprise,” Jungkook says, dryly. “It’s too early for him to bring up talks for a winter truce. Perhaps he is finally coming around. He must know that his helluvian nation can never win this war.”
Jungkook breaks the wax seal and slips out a letter. You can recognize Yoongi’s handwriting through the thin material where the ink had bled through. The letter is short—only several sentences long. But it’s provocative enough for Jungkook’s expression to morph into anger. “How dare he!” he yells, his fist immediately crumpling up the paper.
Your stomach sinks.
“What did it say, sir?” Seokjin asks, seemingly startled at one of Jungkook’s rare outbursts. Even he’s aware that it takes a lot for Jungkook to express his emotions.
“He wants to bargain war prisoners.”
Seokjin’s brows furrow. “Isn’t that… in our favor, sir?”
“Y/N’s on the list.”
Your jaw falls open. “Me?” you gasp in disbelief.
“Temporary Lieutenant General Kwang???” Seokjin mirrors your disbelief. “What—”
“Absolutely not!” Jungkook scoffs. “Who the fuck does he think he is?”
All you can think about is that Yoongi thinks you’re a war prisoner. Does he think you’re stuck in Darlae against your will? Does he not suspect you to be Darlaean at all? He wrote a letter to get you back. He doesn’t hate you. He doesn’t think you betrayed him at all! Relief floods into your system, breathing life into every muscle in your body, until you realize Yoongi might be lying. He has to know you’re not a prisoner. There were too many obvious clues pointing to your true identity. So is he sending this letter because he doesn’t care that you’re a betrayer? Is he sending you a message? Does he know you used to be the Darlaean General? No, he must have taken a leap of faith—that whoever is the General would relay the message to you. It worked, you’ll give him that.
“Seokjin,” Jungkook says sharply, pulling you out of your thoughts. “Write a letter to the Solarian General for me. Tell this treehugger that we will not partake in any exchange of war prisoners. Send it off using that phoenix of his. Those fucking helluvians! Stealing our animals, too.”
You bite your tongue to keep yourself from rattling off that there is a difference between a phoenix and a fire bird. But it’s not enough to keep you from asking, “Wasn’t the letter addressed to you, Jungkook? Maybe you should write it. General to General.”
“No,” he replies curtly. “It’d only be a waste of time.”
Your eyes close momentarily to help compose yourself. It’s okay, you repeat in your mind. Yoongi wants you back—even after indubitably knowing you’re Darlaean. Perhaps this is his method of contacting you, testing the waters to see if you’ll respond. Your heart pulls its shattered pieces back together.
Giddiness settles in.
He’s looking for you. He wants to communicate with you. It’s like the weight of a thousand fire sols has been lifted from your shoulders. Now all you have to do is figure out how to contact him back.
The answer comes after a long day of following Jungkook around to meetings and cadet surveillance. You collapse on your bed, exhausted, not even bothering to get out of your uniform. Enyx lands on your pillow, cocking his head.
“I’m okay,” you tell him. “I have a lot to think about… just didn’t get the time to do it all day.”
Enyx ruffles his feathers.
“Well, for starters, I think… someone I care about from um, far away, tried to contact me.”
Enyx lets out a trill.
“Yes, I know! I couldn’t believe it either, Enyx, and I want to tell him that I’m alive and I’m well and I don’t want him to worry, but I…”
The phoenix hops over to you, clearly invested in your troubles. ‘But what?’ he seems to say.
“But I… it’s complicated. I don’t know where he is. No, that’s not true. I do know where he is, but I don’t know how I’d ever write him back. I have no means to… I just…” Your heart feels heavy. “I just want to tell him I’m okay.”
Enyx nudges you. ‘Perhaps I may be of assistance.’
“You?” you say, smiling sadly. “I appreciate the offer, Enyx, but he isn’t exactly from Darlae.”
Enyx cocks his head. ‘An even more interesting development!’ he concludes.
“So, unless you magically know the way to the nation we’re at war with, it’s just not possible,” you sigh, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hands. “Thanks, though… For the offer.”
There’s a flutter of wings, then you feel Enyx’s claws grip around your wrist. He trills loudly, insistently. Your hands come off your eyes. “How?”
Enyx chortles.
“Okay, fine, you don’t have to tell me. But you’re serious? You can go there? I mean, isn’t it dangerous…? You’re not exactly um… Well, to put it lightly… No, there’s no way to put this lightly. You’re a delicacy around here.” If Enyx could roll his eyes, you imagine he would’ve right then and there. “I’m sorry! Don’t risk your life over this. Remember? I saved you from the royal butcher years ago. What if I’m unable to do it this time?”
Enyx ruffles his feathers in annoyance. ‘Do you desire my assistance or not?’
“I do, I do! I’m just… I trust you. I trust you! Maybe I’m also nervous, deep down inside. This man… Yoongi… I mean, I’ve mentioned him to you before. I’m assuming he wants to communicate with me, but there’s also a small chance that I’m wrong, you know? That he really thinks I’m a war prisoner, and he doesn’t know that I’ve betrayed him and Solaria.”
‘Ah,’ Enyx seems to say. ‘But it doesn’t hurt to try, child. I have friends in that nation. I’ll visit them on the way. And I won’t be eaten. I promise.’
You don’t need any more urging. Quickly, you rip out a page in a random notebook and scrawl, I’m fine. Please don’t worry. Things are complicated and I don’t know how much I’m allowed to say. Your hand hovers over the paper, quill pen in hand. Do you write more? Can you even say more? An ‘I miss you’ feels incriminating—if the message is intercepted, they’ll have evidence of your treason. You set the quill pen down. You’ll keep it short and simple.
Enyx nuzzles you as you tie the rolled-up message to his leg. ‘I’ll see to it that it’s delivered,’ his bright eyes tell you.
“Thank you,” you say. “Truly.”
You watch the phoenix fly off into a red sunset, blending in with the blazing sky, and for the first time since you’ve come back home, you feel hope.
There’s a knock on the door at 8 o’clock as promised. Punctual as always. You’ve washed and changed, and Jooeun and her team had already set up dinner in your chambers a few minutes prior.
“Come in,” you tell Jungkook.
He emerges from behind your door, dressed fashionably, with his sword attached to his belt as usual. The blue birthstone glints in the warm candlelight. “Thank you for agreeing to have dinner with me tonight.” He glances at your pale green silk gown. “Elegant as always.”
You nod, sitting in the seat that Jungkook pulls out for you. “Thank you. I didn’t want to break tradition.”
The corner of his lips pulls up in a small smile. “Good, good,” he comments, sitting in his own seat across from you. The food looks delectable, whipped ricotta with herbs and honey paired with a basket of fresh bread, a tomato and cucumber salad tossed with fragrant seasoning and the main course: peppered pumpkin risotto topped with sage and thyme. “Let’s eat.”
Over food, Jungkook makes small talk with you. He asks you how your day was, that he tried to keep your schedule light since it was your first day back on the training grounds. You reply honestly, that it was a lot. He nods. “You’ll get used to it,” he says. “Eventually, I’d like to get you back into training, instead of watching others do it.”
You hum. Reasonable enough.
There’s a bit of silence. The food is delicious, the risotto melting in your mouth, the savory pepperiness contrasting beautifully with the sweetness of the honey and ricotta spread. Then, Jungkook speaks up again.
“Did the Solarian General know you personally?”
Your spoon freezes halfway through its journey to your mouth. You set it down. You knew this was coming; it’s rare that nations exchange war prisoners—they’re usually sentenced to death—and it’s suspicious enough that Yoongi suggests this now of all times. But you can’t blame him. He did it for you. He wants you back, regardless of your allegiance.
“He cherished all of his soldiers,” you say, hoping the response is neutral enough to placate Jungkook’s suspicions.
He raises an eyebrow. It’s futile. You cannot possibly deceive a divinist, and especially not a divinist who knows you as well as Jungkook does. “I see…”
The rest of the dinner proceeds in silence. You have trouble looking up to Jungkook’s face. He must know you’re keeping something from him, but he doesn’t pry. Instead, when he leaves, he bids you a polite goodnight. You can feel him pulling away from you, but what can you do? Your heart reaches for someone else, and you await his reply.
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⨰ a/n: shorter chapter but the next one will make up for it! (side note, i love autumn so much)
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