Alone.
A/N: this isn’t happy like I was planning a few weeks ago, but I’ve been in a sad funk, I hope you guys like it anyways.
----------------------------------------
Dreams, she had them so often lately and it seemed she remembered every single one. What else could she do? It was the only time that she was with her family any longer. Owen didn’t love her, that she’d come to terms with, but no matter what she told Teddy? She wasn’t over him, and she didn’t think she would be, ever. Which was why she did the right thing and ended things with Link, no matter how sweet he was, she just couldn’t do it. I’ve seen what’s out there, alone is better, maybe she’d really convinced herself of that this time? Either way, after putting Leo down, she’d found herself resting on the couch, dreams filling her head.
“Mommy! You gotta come see what Daddy found, a good stick!” Dream Amelia found her brow crinkling, confusion resting on her features at the mention of a stick. Of course, as an adult, she so didn’t get the big deal with a stick but Leo? He could find anything interesting, and just that caused a smile to form on her features. “Just a minute, baby. I don’t have shoes on, and I’m trying to load the dishwasher!” This wasn’t her, but apparently dream Amelia loved doing the dishes, who knew what was up with her maybe another tumor or something. Still, she went through the motions, closing the dishwasher and pressing the button before slipping on flats from the backdoor. It was like the world was disappearing already as soon as she stepped out onto the back deck, it was all growing fuzzy, and Leo was falling though he had nowhere to go. “Owen! Stay there, keep Leo there. I’m coming!” But before she could move a step, the invisible barrier finally gone, the man of her dreams had gone too. Her baby, her Owen, they were both gone. “Owen! Please come back, please. Don’t leave me again! Owen pl - ” Back she was to reality, eyes popping open as someone shook her shoulder, a gasp leaving her. Sometimes she talked in her sleep, and as her ex kneeled next to the couch, she hoped she hadn’t said his name out loud. Forcing the shock off her features, Amelia blinked sleepily before realizing she had to say something before he mentioned it. “How’s the baby?”
The smile on his features, bright like he’d never looked happier, had her heart breaking in her chest. There was nothing that that she wanted to happen to the child, she wouldn’t wish that on anyone but still knowing how happy he was without her? It stung, so without a thought she pushed the blanket off her lap and moving to stand up. “She’s good, her and Teddy are sleeping. I figured I should come check on Leo, his fever was bound to cause some troubles, I wanted to give you a bit of a break.” His voice sweet like sugar, and all she wants to do is scream ; You should’ve given me a break nine months ago! You should’ve kept it in your pants and none of this would’ve happened, but she doesn’t say anything, instead she smiles at him even though her eyes water. It’s all she can do to turn around toward the hallway as he stands up to his full height. “That’s good, thanks. I uh, should go check on Leo before I go home. I can come back in the morning?” Not waiting for an answer, the brunette makes her way to her sons room even though it wasn’t official and simply stared at him for a few moments, the silence and the hum of his wind machine were the only things to be heard. She really did love him, but it only took a few moments before she realized she probably shouldn’t overstay her welcome when Owen was actually here and leaned to press a kiss to the baby’s still slightly warm head before she left the room again, reaching for her jacket on the back of the couch until Owen’s voice interrupted her. “Are you hungry?” Furrowed brows as she whipped around to face him, head shaking. “Oh, uh no… it’s late. You should get some sleep, you’ve got a baby and a girlfriend to see in the morning. I’ll just grab something on the way home. Thanks though.” “Teddy isn’t my girlfriend, Amelia. Nothing’s going to happen there.” A sigh, soft smile before she stepped forward, her arms wrapping around him in congratulations. They had no reason to be enemies, they had Leo to raise, no matter what they felt for each other, they could be friends. “Don’t be an idiot. Congratulations, Owen.” He could say it a million times and she still wouldn’t believe him and that was part of the problem. “I’m so happy for you.” A lie, but still the neurosurgeon smiled, pulling away from him with a kiss to his cheek. For a moment his hand gripped hers but eventually she tugged it away and turned toward the door, feet dragging her. “Amelia? What were you dreaming about? You looked happy.” Head turned and she shook her head, an almost bitter laugh escaping. How she hated that she couldn’t keep up the act.
“It doesn’t matter, it wouldn’t ever come true anyways. Get some rest Owen, I’ll see you tomorrow.” As she left, door closing behind her, Amelia sniffled.
Alone was better. Painful but better.
