Christmas time is come and gone
So another Christmas has come and gone. Just waiting for the end of the year. It amuses me to think about the holidays as an adult. As a kid it is time off of school and new toys and lots of food. It is a time that you have to see all the relatives and you stuff you face with good food and sweets. So you know without too many hang-ups or problematic relatives as kids the holidays are fun, festive, and full of food.
As an adult everything changes. It is to be expected and is not something I come into blindly. But I am in one of those in between places when it comes to the relatives during the holidays. I am 31 and childless. I am not married and I don’t live in a place that can host many people. So I am always the one that travels to the holiday meals. I am always one of the ones that brings a side dish or dessert. I also work at a minimum wage job for not enough money. So working with the fact that I don't have to provide a Christmas for any small kids I am don't really have much money to buy gifts for others.
This year was no different. We had a small dinner for Christmas. Not at the lake house like we did for Thanksgiving. Which I am kind of happy about. Thanksgiving and Christmas are too close together. It is never a good thing having to deal with all of the relatives and extended family for two months in a row. I think it would be better for most people if there was more time in between the two.
So I was able to get a little bit of money and buy a few things for the kids this year. I was even able to buy small gifts for the cousins. It makes me happy to be able to do that. I was happy to see them open the gifts after the meal. I think I did good in my choices too. So yea me. But because I am in the position I am in. An only child, my mom died two years ago, and no kids of my own. I don't actually have Christmas. I buy small things for the young kids if I am able, but I don't get anything. This is not the first year like that. I think it is been closer to five or so years. I am here for the meals and the day but when it comes to family giving gifts I am lucky if I get one maybe two things from other people.
I am not complaining. I am not whining that I don't get anything and what not. I don't expect anything. More often then not I cannot afford to get anyone else anything. I just find it an interesting place that I find myself in. I know it is just how things are drawn at the moment. It can change if I start a relationship with someone or beyond most thought but maybe not all conceivable possibilities start a family then it would be different. But right now I am the one that watches everyone else open up gifts.
This year I told Jenn I would take her to Ulta and buy here some stuff. I wanted her to also help me find some things too. I don’t use make-up and I am not very confident on the way it works but I wanted to try and find something that would work for me. So I am going to take her shopping and get her to give me some suggestions. But that is not really the same
I just wanted to get the thoughts out so I don't keep thinking them and they don't start running around my head and make me feel shitty. I just really don't like the holidays these days. I am all for being with family and being around people that you love but for me most part the last handful of years the holidays in general suck.
So here’s to the new year. May it bring good things and positive thinking. And may the shit storm that is the government figure itself out.