Sorry for the lack of activity on this blog. I did read up on the PDL journal and I just wanna say congrats to those who passed, I actually thought I wouldn't pass due to the fact I really over did my entry and I felt that was unnecessary of me to do, but I am happy that I did pass.
Though...I feel like I should talk about some things with the group. I'll put it undercut to avoid flooding the dash or anything.
....I don't know what it is, well, I kinda know what it is but I don't know why it's taking so much affect on me.
The reason for my inactivity on this blog is because I've literally been too afraid to do anything in this group. I've even been too afraid to be on this blog in general. I know the reason why, but it's best that I don't say why.
It makes me really sad that it's come down to this, I wanna stay, I wanna be active, I want Cassidy to mean something to everyone but at the same time, for my sake...I feel like I can't be in this group anymore.
Everytime I come onto this blog I just scroll through my dash and I get this big frown on my face, seeing everyone have fun and everyone likes someone elses characters but for me...I'm really left out in everything. I try to join in, I try to have fun but it feels like someone is pushing me out and putting me in a corner where I'm forced to sit there and watch. I know that sounds really dark and almost unbelievable but it's true. I tried to have Cassidy interact with some other characters, but no one seemed all that interested except maybe 2 people.
I don't know...Maybe I'm not cut out for OCTs. I pass some rounds and all, but my characters aren't all that fun to work with if others don't enjoy them as much as I do.
Besides all that, I am terrified to come onto this blog without feeling like I'm gonna do something wrong and be hated for it for the rest of my life, I've even gotten questions in the past that nearly made me cry because I was so afraid to answer them because I didn't wanna say something wrong. I have gotten those kinda questions, basically testing me how I would portrait someone who was different from "normal" people and to those who keep asking me those kinda questions, stop, please. You know who you are and I know who some of you are, seriously don't test me like that, because 90% of the time I'm gonna say something that might be offensive to some but not to others. Do I know any better? No, and you do not either. And it's not just on my PDL blog I've gotten these kinda questions, it's on my main blog too and literally because of those questions I have lost friends due to my mistake in words.
So I don't know what I'll be doing now. Depending on what R2 is will determine if I give it another go or I quit and leave the group.
