#alterhuman anecdotes

[sauropsidsongs]

the paleokin curse of wanting to do vocalization but not having any completely accurate references

[sauropsidsongs]

Still thinking about the shift I experienced Wednesday night. It was a paleo shift. Velociraptor was my first thought but I’m still doing research and I did have some prey drive when hearing the evening insects chirping, there’s a lot of dinosaurs with physical features that could match what I was feeling.

I started inside, walking and then running around my house. I was on the balls of my feet, leaned forward, with my arms tucked in the dinosaur pose and my fingers curled like talons. I experimented a bit with vocalizations.

Then I went in to my balcony, it was a bit hazy but still clear enough to see the sky. Now I always enjoy star gazing, but something felt completely different seeing them in the state I was in.

So I went outside. I explored around my apartment complex, I wanted to go into the wooded patch next to us but unfortunately there’s a lot of litter and broken glass back there. So I headed down the street.

It was late enough at night that there weren't other pedestrians and only a few cars. I spent awhile just walking around, viewing my street through fresh eyes. Everything felt so different, the way the stink of the city burned in my nose, the way it felt to look at the stars, the feeling of the breeze, the noises I paid attention to, it was amazing! Obviously my sense can’t actually change, even though id like that, but I certainly experienced everything through a new perspective. I even found some new trinkets for my nest as well!

[sauropsidsongs]

every time I start thinking about reptile types my mind tends to go in to different directions, small desert lizard like leopard lizards, or the absolutely massive aquatic mosasaur. To most different guys of all time.

[sauropsidsongs]

Can’t believe how long it took me to call myself alterhuman. I’m not normally shy about self expression or exploring subcultures. I guess I just wasn’t sure I identified “enough” as nonhuman to really claim any kin. I’m really happy I finally have.

[sauropsidsongs]

TBH I’m almost surprised I don’t seem to have a mythical chimera kintype. She was one of my first monstrous obsessions, before I even became fascinated by dragons, and I’ve always felt a closeness to her.

While I don’t think I have any myth-chimera specific experiences I do tend to envision my ideal body as an amalgamation of my kintypes. Even though I often experience my kintypes and shifts “separate” from each other, sometimes they also bleed together. A chimeric existence, but still a separate entity from the mythical chimera.

[sauropsidsongs]

putting this under a read more because it’s long as hell. Just a musing on type questioning that has no real conclusion.

As I was doing some reptile research the other day, still looking primarily at leopard lizards and perentie, I began to come across an interesting conundrum in relation to my ocean kin research from earlier this week.

One of the major types I’ve considered for my potential ocean predator type is the mosasaur, a large extinct marine reptile. Another reptile. I began to wonder, am I really a dragon and a lizard and a marine reptile? There’s some overlap in these experiences. The mosasaur is huge (the largest of them being around 50 if I remember correctly off the top of my head) and so is my draconic type (bigger sometimes, then the mosasaur) I associate my draconic type with harsh environments, including deserts. My lizard type is a desert inhabitant.

There’s differences as well, of course - diet, some environmental factors, behavior, appearance - yet the edges of them feel…fuzzy almost?

I faced a similar question when I discovered my dromaeosaur type. I already identified as a harpy - one of the types I came into the community with the knowledge of - and there’s many physical similarities between the two. Feathers or wings on the arms, taloned feet, posture, feathered body. I was able to the tell the difference though in part because my shifts for both of these types are so visceral. My feathers are different, my arms, my talons, my coloration, my behavior. So similar and yet so clearly separate in my mind.

From what I’ve observed over the last month and half or so of identifying as alterhuman my dromaeosaur and harpy shifts are two of my most common. I’ve seen some polykin refer to some of their types as “primary” or “main” perhaps these fit into that category for me.

My dragon experiences have also been pretty clear. I still have some questions about the details of it, but not the existences of it itself.

My reptilian experiences are actually what spurred me to start exploring the alterhuman experiences. I’ve always identified with nonhuman experiences but some of my lizard traits puzzled me and pushed me to dig deeper, eventually excepting that nonhumans weren’t just something I related to, I was in fact alterhuman. Yet as I’ve questioned and categorized my types I still struggle to pinpoint the details of it. Should I hold all my types to the same standard of clarity? Should I allow myself an expanded view of what identities I posses? I’m unsure.

Shifting is such a potent part of the experience for some of my types that wrapping my head around the ones where it happens less is a bit difficult, I think seeking out some discussions by folks who don’t shift at all could be very useful in me identifying sorting these types - both for identifying which ones I have and for cataloging the differences between similar types.

I’ve been able to trigger shifts in the past, so I think experimenting with that may lead to some clarity as well.

[sauropsidsongs]

I’m not in a rush to claim anything so I’m pretty content to let it be for now but I was mulling over my potential ocean kin(s) last night. It’s a bit tricky because I still think siphonophore might be it, something about being a colony life form. A shimmering living city floating through the void. Do I relate to it because I am one? Or does my view of my body resonate with siphonophores for other reasons? Does it matter?

I’ve had some past experiences from before I claimed my alterhuman ID that could also indicate a different aquatic kintype, something large a predatory like a whale or shark perhaps? Could be a Pliosaurus, or Mosasaur. Dunkleosteus lingers in my mind, but the size discourse leaves me with some uncertainty. Even smaller estimates could work, but the tough thing about paleokin is there’s often so many empty spots in our understanding of an animal that it can be difficult to feel confident in IDing as one.

[sauropsidsongs]

Omg this is the first time I’ve worn my heavy battle jacket since claiming my alterhuman id bc I was in the middle of redesigning part of it and it’s actually so kin affirming like the texture of the leather. The shifting of the dangling decorations and metal bits. The weight of it on my back and arms where my wings should be!!! I also have a little lizard pin, a dragon pin, and a dinosaur monopoly piece I attached to it all of which I picked up Before I was consciously aware of my kintypes!!