#alterkitsune

[cyannidelolypop]

Coyotes are quite prominent in the therian community, it seems, so I see many yotes on my dash. Thing is, no offense to yotes at all, but seeing them always kinda made me, like, primally uncomfortable. Like, mildly off-put. Like a bad gut feeling.

So, I recently learned coyotes are known to kill foxes

[nebulabasket]

I mapped out my alterhuman identities.

(The sliders are in arbitrary positions as it's meant to show how my kintypes fluctuate; which I imagine kind of like a soundboard. The grey box next to "doll trapped" is a checkbox.)

I learned a lot of new terms and concepts at Othercon and have done a lot of reflecting and introspecting. I've finally officially decided to be a catlinker and I've reconsider my stance that the term "therian" doesn't apply to me. I've decided that it does.I've also come to the realization that it feels kind of like my light kintype has its own kintypes due to a panelist mentioning a nesting doll kintype situation. I don't believe my alterhumanity has anything to do with past lives personally (the octoling kardiatype is due to basically what I would describe as a parallel life that's been manifested into CyanTide (previself party member)), but I'm sure there could be other causes. Maybe more parallel lives. I'm pretty sure that's the case with my aliedragon (MoonLighter) kintype, as manifested in Glow Bright (previme party member).

Also, I don't have a good term for when I'm trapped in a doll. It's not a kintype or a paratype or a hearttype or a hearthome or anything. My anymic glitchy kintype is kind of like a spirit and a specter, but it's not a ghost. Even still, it's like sometimes it's bound to this old doll and gets trapped inside against its will. Not always, though. Sometimes I fel like this feeling bleeds through to my altereldritch form.

Shout out to u/GhostOrchidGynoid on Reddit for coining the term alterfae (https://www.reddit.com/r/alterhuman/s/uRxk7tnKpE) and the alie- prefix; I am expanding their definitions past just fae for my altereldritch, alterkitsune, and aliedragon kintypes.

Feel free to ask me about any unfamiliar terms.

~ 🍭 Cyannide Lolypop 🍭

[cyannidelolypop]

I've seen entities on here discussing species transition goals, and I realized it's not something I've dedicated much deep though to up to this point because much of it has seemed entirely unachievable, and some of it is intrinsically tied to my transition to genderlessness. So, I'd like to reflect on steps I've already taken and consider potential future steps.

Let's start by reflecting on steps already taken:

- name change

- usage of neopronouns

- acquire prosthetic elf ears

- acquire prosthetic horns

- come out to trusted loved ones

- unmask and grow to be more comfortable acting like myself

- learn affirming makeup styles

- aquire light, bright, shiny, sparkly, and glowing clothes and accessories

- change language used for self

- improve upon vocalization

- bird watch

- grow out nails

- hang posters of space images in room

Some of these things are ongoing.

Now for potential future goals:

- build more permanent den ‼️

- aquire means to burrow without grass allergy problem

- aquire/make fox ears, tail(s), and potentially some form of paws

- maybe also for cat?

- build muscle and agility

- top surgery ‼️

- nullification surgery ‼️

- tattoos maybe (still deliberating on specifics)

- aquire/make wings/wing-adjacent accessories

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. This really is just a brainstorming exercise, though. I may think of other things later. Unfortunately, I can't think of much of anything at all for my eldrich-esque form or specter-like glitchy form short of neopronouns.

[cyannidelolypop]

Shout out to Kaden from Fire Emblem Fates for helping me figure out I'm something similar to a kitsune. Kaden and Selkie always made me feel super shifty. I remember telling my sister something like "Screw all this. I want to run away with Kaden and Selkie and Kana and just live out the rest of my days as a kitsune dragon" and basically had my player character in fox gear the whole game. Looking at Kaden and Selkie always felt kind of looking at a reflection of myself in a way, and I had realized I felt similarly about other kitsune character in the past. Had to sit down and do a good think on all that.