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Men would come up to an emo baddie with the one liner

“Would you please ruin my life”

And think they’ve got it in the bag.

EMBARRASING

#emo girl #alternative #misandry #alt girl #girly blog #alternatve #scene girl #guy problems #men #ew

Dede, 2000.

I met Dede at the turn of the millennium through the channels of community college’s media wing. He wasn’t just as enthusiastic about music as I was, he was part of a two-piece synthpop outfit which I won’t mention. He stood out as he was into Depeche Mode, New Order, Joy Division, darkwave, brit-pop, and industrial. Two out of six to me wasn’t bad and I was alien to the others, but we became quick friends along with the other writers who also were musicians themselves. Long story short: he had summer backyard parties, held performances which I (was forced to be) frequented, and even went as far as getting me a job at his pool place, simply because he was really awesome.

As an up-and-coming local musician, Dede always poured it on me to hear this, hear that, hear what he’s into at this moment, at this minute, and this lifetime. Coming from Port Jefferson, he was raised on the Music Den where they sold the best in obscure and underground titles and the town population wore their trendy shoegaze, indie, and brit-pop medals with pride and discrimination. So it was no surprise he would offer me a free mixtape because he eminated awesome. He was the ultimate tastemaker who believed he knew what’s best for everyone that came into contact with him. In other words, he was center of the universe.

Outside our time as friends, it was a heavy rotation of post-performance diner nights amidst never-ending drama with the community-college demographic. Cock-blocking by friends ensued. An interest who severely burned me and played a great game with her friends against me ended up in one of my classes. Not good. All was not lost in a still-burning hell. I kept in touch with a New Jersey girl over chat rooms during the dawn of “the internet” who sympathized with all I was going through, which was the only thing I wanted to look forward to. So it wasn’t a total flush.

Perhaps Dede’s mixtape was one of the only few good things I have from an era of uncertainly, unease, and awkwardness. At the time I was very heavily into DHR, The Prodigy, Underworld, Autechre, and started getting into noise. Dede’s tape is a reflection of polarizing musical tastes between us; a mix of what was happening around him, his personal favorites, and how one new-wave brit-pop band endured the decades while never shaking off the Eighties tags forever with them. A mixtape where Covenant’s “Tour De Force” (1999) was his voicemail music, Apoptygma Berzerk’s “Eclipse” was played tirelessly on WUSB, and Eminem, Moby, and Robbie Williams enjoyed endless spins on radio and television.

Dede’s mixtape:

Apoptygma Berzerk “Eclipse”

Robbie Williams “Millenium”

Covenant “Tour De Force”

Wolfsheim “Lovesong”

Moby “Honey”

The Cure “Maybe Someday”

OMD “Tesla Girls”

Pet Shop Boys “Radiophonic”

Apoptygma Berzerk “Love Never Dies”

Eminem “Bad Meets Evil”

Radiohead “Karma Police”