I was rethinking the last few chapters of Berserk and wondered what's your opinion on this: do you think Guts knows how Casca feels about him?
It's been a bit since I read and I might need to go back and read again, but seeing how depressed and unanchored to life he's been in the past 10-12 chapters got me thinking he might actually not know her true feelings. We know how she feels because as readers we've seen her inner monologue back in the Golden Age as well as her mind and memories from Farnese's and Schierke's perspective, but it's not something she ever said out loud to him.
It's always so wonderful seeing you in my askbox. Thank you for sending me asks. And sorry it took me so long to answer. 💙
Oof, what a question, though.
Short answer: I honestly don't know. I'd like to think deep deep down he does, but the rest of him hasn't realized it yet. Which is crazy, tbh. Because she sure as hell has shown him through her actions in the past, without actually having to voice her feelings aloud.
The biggest example for me is how she acted after Guts hurt her during their first time when he was triggered. She genuinely took that in stride all things considered, and she would have been well within her rights to kick him in the balls and run away. But instead she chose to listen to him, understand him, and comfort him. And that speaks innumerable volumes to me, regarding how she feels about him. (This also is strong evidence to me that she will most likely forgive his post-Eclipse transgressions and be open to reconciling and repairing their relationship, even though it will not be an easy road)
Her grabbing onto his cape during Griffith's rescue mission. She's the actual leader of the operation, but she's trusting him and relying on him to help her move forward and carry it out successfully.
The way she grabs onto his hand, both as reassurance for herself and him, when she feels the jealousy of Charlotte's feelings toward Griffith rise up.
One of my favorite moments, her taking the time to wipe the blood off of his face and neck after they make it out of the tower. (The way he calms down so quickly and bares his throat to her will always drive me insane)
Then there's her utter desperation as she's slapping an unconscious Guts, demanding that he wake up and fight, with her literally screaming "Weren't you going to take me with you?"
And her reaction after she realizes he survived after defeating Wyald, the way she openly sobbed while clinging on to him.
The dialogue exchanged between them as she's stitching up his wounds post-Wyald fight is so telling to me. She was literally shaking in anger in response to his flippant attitude in regards to his own life.
There's that little moment they share, right before she checks on Griffith, where she leans her head against Guts and confesses how she wanted someone to be near her.
So the evidence is all there, and that's without our knowledge of her inner monologue and what we saw through Schierke and Farnese.
I also think about this bit of dialogue with Judeau as well:
Guts has always had the underlying thought of not being good enough for her and I feel like so much of this is getting in the way of him being able to see. And of course, the violent acts he committed against her in the more recent past certainly aren't helping either.
Hopefully his time in the stupa will bring about many revelations, including his realization of the true depth of her feelings. (Oh how I want to show him a picture of what he looked like through her eyes during the Campfire of Dreams 🥺)
And I have to be honest, Guts might be one of those people who just needs to hear that kind of declaration out loud in order to truly believe it.
Do you think Guts gets too much criticism for leaving Casca in the cave and his overall behaviour post-Eclipse, without people understanding his psychological trauma and caretaker fatigue or is the criticism warranted?
I only ask this because, while yes, I understand the criticism is valid, a lot of the fandom likes to reduce his actions to him being an uncaring partner or that he never loved Casca, which is far from the truth. I wanted to know your thoughts because your answers are always thoughtful, layered and delicate!
Ah, the last part is high praise, especially since any sort of meta and analysis are not my forte, and it's always difficult for me to articulate my thoughts well. Everything always sounds better in my head.
I'm not sure what I have to say will be the answer you're looking for, and it might not even make sense or really even answer your questions, but it is honest.
And I apologize that this took me far too long to answer. I hope you end up seeing this.
This ended up being far longer than I anticipated as well, so I've put everything under the cut.
--
I truly do feel that criticism is indeed warranted and valid. My love for Guts as a character does not blind me to his flaws and the most egregious of his actions. Yes, there is his trauma, caretaker fatigue, and the influence of the Beast of Darkness, but I feel like that really can't excuse him. Yes, they were all key factors and explain why he's done what he's done, but that doesn't take away from the fact that those things were very very bad.
Guts' choice to abandon Casca in Godot's cave is something I think about often, but have never really discussed. Yes, it was a terrible thing for him to do, especially since he was not the only person traumatized and hurt from the Eclipse. And he does realize this eventually, too little too late as it is.
The thorough verbal lashing he received from Godot was exactly what Guts needed to hear. However, I genuinely do not want to imagine how a Guts at the beginning of his Black Swordsman arc would have treated Casca if he'd brought her along on his bloody quest for vengeance. At least the cave kept her safe from anything drawn to her brand and at least Erica & Rickert, two people Guts trusts, were there to see to her needs as best they could. Was that a better alternative to him taking her with him or having a very angry, hate filled, and vengeful Guts continue to stay with her in cave?
And of course, we cannot ignore him becoming physically violent with her and then very nearly sexually assaulting her during the Winter's Journey. At that point he's been bone-deep tired from chronic lack of sleep, he hasn't been eating enough, and he's constantly having to fight to not only keep himself alive but also Casca. And then of course there's the BoD. All unfortunate factors that caused him to hurt the person he cares about most. At least he was able to snap out of it before anything went further, but the damage has been done at that point.
I thought about these panels, shortly after he grabs her by the throat:
It always breaks my heart knowing it was a losing battle right from the start. 💔
Now that I've rambled enough on all that, I can move on to the other part. And I realize what I have to say now will sound rather ridiculous, given what I'd been talking about prior. But his and Casca's relationship is immensely complicated and nuanced, as is the way Guts shows his love and care for her, so I'm not really sure what I was expecting.
To say that Guts doesn't love Casca makes me realize that some people have truly read a different manga than the rest of us, and it is extremely...annoying, to put it mildly. There are many moments of affection, tenderness, and longing.
And so much of the Conviction Arc is about finding Casca and protecting her after they reunite!!!!!
Then there's this pivotal moment:
He'd had every intention of trying to kill Griffith, but he instead chose Casca over vengeance.
And this is worthy of noting as well:
While Guts is clearly not happy, he was at least willing to try living as much of a normal life with Casca as possible.
Him entrusting Farnese with Casca, is to me, one of the most important choices he makes. He realizes that he can no longer protect her nor see to her needs on his own. And that he especially recognizes he is a danger to her and she is much safer at Farnese's side.
And of course, there's the look on his face when presented with the possibility of her mind being restored:
Even after hearing the devastating possibility of "there's no guarantee her wish will be your wish", his number one priority is still getting Casca safely to Elfhelm.
There's this moment with Roderick, even if we'll never know what Guts intended to say:
Here's a Guts, who's still bandaged and healing from a borderline cataclysmic battle, not even hesitating to jump in after she fell overboard:
Guts after getting confirmation upon their arrival to Elfhelm that the Corridor of Dreams can be used to restore her mind:
There are also some other moments I wanted to note visually as well, but I'm posting from mobile, and can't add more than ten images to a single post. Oh well.
I genuinely don't know how people can read all of that and think reducing his actions by saying he's uncaring and doesn't love her is in any way fair. I thankfully don't see that take all too much, as I am very fortunate to have the best Berserk mutuals and have managed to curate my fandom space pretty well after all these years.
I reblogged a post not too long ago talking about how Guts holds back because of respect, fear of inadequacy, and the circumstances he faces. And that is something I wholeheartedly agree with.
Anyway, all of this is to say that I think the most important thing to acknowledge with the criticism is all of the things Guts has done since then to try and be a better person and atone as best he can, and his actions through the Millennium Falcon arc and onward show that. Some of the things he's learned include that living solely for revenge only gets you so far and the importance of relying on other people for help. And remember, the Guts that's initially being criticized is not the same person now.
(If you managed to make it this far, I salute you hahaha)
Oh no! You are missed! I came to ask for more of your hcs for Gutsca! I hope you see this ask once you are back 💛 enjoy your break.
Hello my dear sweet Nonny. This ask was a lovely thing to see coming back. Thank you. 💙
I do happen to have a few more HCs for you, and as usual, these apply to my AUs.
--
Not strictly Gutsca, per se, but I'm very attached to my "Guts is demisexual" HC.
Whether they're out for a leisurely ride or strolling the markets, Guts always makes sure to buy or pick a flower for Casca. She quickly ends up with quite a collection, and Charlotte teaches her how to properly dry them out, so she can keep them.
They reach a point where words aren't even needed sometimes to communicate. All it takes is a certain look or touch, and they know exactly what the other is saying, thinking, or about to do.
We know that Guts seems to get a little intense when it comes to keeping up with his training, so he has a tendency to overwork his muscles to the point of discomfort. Casca notices this and despite his attempts to play it off, she is very insistent and takes it upon herself to help massage away his aches and pains, all in the privacy of their shared quarters. He was reluctant to let her try it at first, but she's so gentle yet firm, and it feels so good. Whether or not he ends up purring in contentment every time is kept just between them.
Guts tries to make Casca laugh at least once a day. She has the most lovely laugh, and he's enchanted by her smile, and the way her eyes and nose crinkle when she does it. Her mirth is precious and sacred to him.
They try to never leave each other's sides during any balls and galas. Guts still finds them stuffy, annoying, and overwhelming. He's always a little distraught whenever Casca (who is polite to a fault during these and ever the consummate lady) is eventually called away to share a dance with some other noble but thankfully she declines most requests. Guts refuses to dance with anyone who isn't Casca.
One of their favorite things to do together is sharpen and clean their swords along with maintaining their armor. Sometimes it's done in comfortable silence and other times it's hard for them to stop talking.
Late one night, when they both can't sleep, they take turns talking more in depth about their lives before joining the Hawks.
When Casca's favorite horse dies, Guts commissions Judeau to whittle and paint a wooden likeness of her.
Regarding the ending of Berserk, is there something you'd like to see in canon that hasn't been touched on yet?
Hi lovely! Thank you for asking me this question. It's such a good one! 💙
There are several things I'd like to see touched on, and I really hope most if not all are depicted at some point.
(Now this has me wondering how much longer we actually might have until the ending. 🤔)
--
Luca meeting a fully restored Casca. I want to see what their interactions would be like sooooo badly, especially since Luca has only known her as Elaine.
Zodd betraying Griffith.
How exactly Casca is going to be freed from her current imprisonment.
Casca spent so much of the story locked away inside herself to cope with her trauma. I'd really love to see her get a chance to confront it head on.
A Charlotte/Casca friendship. I absolutely LOVE seeing this depicted in fics, and it would make me so happy to see it in canon, especially since both of them share such an extensive history with Griffith. Plus, I really just want Casca to have more female friends. It's what she deserves.
For the illusion of Falconia to be shattered, and how Charlotte and Sonia in particular will react to that.
Casca confronting Griffith and being the one to land the killing blow. Even if Guts is the one who ends up mortally injuring him, I truly believe he will let her finish the job.
A real and proper reunion between Guts, Casca, and Rickert, especially now that they're pretty much the only surviving members of the original Band of the Hawk.
How exactly Moonlight Boy is going to be liberated from being Griffith's vessel.
We've had Schierke being the one to bring back Guts from his berserker rage. I absolutely need Casca to do that at least once.
More insight into Skull Knight and The God Hand.
To see how Guts is going to finally confront the Beast of Darkness. From the most recent chapter, it feels like he's going to experience his own Dreamscape Arc, and I can't wait to see what that's going to entail.
I know I've mentioned this in prior asks, but it's probably the most important one to me personally: I want Casca confronting Guts and him verbally apologizing for all his transgressions against her since post-Eclipse, for him to admit just how wrong he was, how badly he fucked up. They literally haven't had a chance to repair or reconcile their relationship! And I need her to make the final choice on where they ultimately stand with each other in regards to that. She may choose to forgive him, but that doesn't mean she still wants to be with him.
And...if she ends up choosing to remain with him, I desperately need a Wounds Redux hahaha.
--
I am very curious as to what you'd like to see touched on in canon too!
In your AU where Guts and Casca are parents of Isolde: do either of them train her in the ways of the sword? If yes, how old is she when they start training her?
Also feel free to skip it if you ever plan to write about that and would rather not reveal at this time 😊
First of all, I am so happy to see you in my askbox again.
Second of all, I am on my hands and knees thanking you profusely for sending me this question.
Third of all, I do intend to write a fic about this at some point, but that doesn't mean I won't yap about it anyway! 🤭
You have unlocked one of my unskippable cutscenes.
--
Yes, they both do! But this is something they wanted her to choose for herself, as they never want to pressure her into doing anything she doesn't actually want or make her think she has certain expectations to live up to.
Just because both of her parents are skilled sword fighters doesn't mean she wants to be the same thing.
It is so incredibly important to them that Isolde is allowed to be her own person, to not feel forced into or out of a certain role because of her gender or social status.
But, it doesn't come as a surprise that she does express interest in wanting to learn. She was always brought along to their private sparring sessions, and both Guts and Casca would bring her to joint practice drills, with her strapped securely to either of them in a sling. (And if the drills started a little late because the Raiders or Casca's company were too busy cooing and fussing over her, no one ever pointed it out.) Her eyes would go wide at the shine of the steel blades meeting, mesmerized by the quick flashes of movement, and she was never bothered by the sound.
Shortly after her seventh birthday is when she asks them when it's going to be her turn to play with swords. While they both feel she's a little too young (she is at least slightly older than when Guts first started learning), neither of them are capable of denying her anything.
Casca is the one who gives her the first lesson, and Guts is insistent that wooden swords will be used until she's a few years older. (He would never forgive himself if she sustained an injury similar to the one Gambino gave him.)
It becomes quickly evident that Isolde inherited her parents skills. She takes her practice sessions very seriously, and pays extra close attention now when Guts and Casca spar.
On her tenth birthday, she is presented with her very own steel sword, carefully forged with her size and strength capabilities in mind, and she's overjoyed once she notices a small detail on the crossguard: the silhouettes of horses, her favorite animal.
And every practice session from then on is done with real swords, and that's when her real fighting style starts to develop. (Naturally, she takes after Casca.)
Outside of her parents, she loves training with her Uncle Judeau, Uncle Rickert, and Uncle Gaston the most.
--
I could keep going on and on, honestly.
I'm actually proud of myself for showing such restraint, because I came way too close to elaborating on things about her that have nothing to do with her learning the sword. 😆
New gutsca fan here 👋🏻 decided to write just to say that I really enjoyed your fanfics, thanks for writing those! Also to mention that I got intrigued by your WIP post in which you mentioned the placeholder title "1000 times" 👀
Oh my gosh, hello new Gutsca fan! I'm so happy you're here. 🥺 👋
Welcome, and thank you so much for taking the time to send this ask. I'm thrilled you liked my fics enough to do that! 💙
--
1,000 Times (Placeholder title) is the WIP I'm currently focused on, and I'm hoping to have finished either by the end of the month or early March. Funny enough, the fic does finally have a title, but that won't be revealed until it's published. 🤭
In the meantime, please enjoy these 2 little sneak peeks:
Casca collapses back down onto the mattress, shining with sweat and panting heavily. She stares at the ceiling of the room they've rented for the night, wide-eyed and stunned, trying and failing to calm her racing heart. It's only when she hears a muffled grunt and feels a tap against her shaking leg that she's brought back to herself, and realizes Guts’ head and face are still barricaded between her thighs.
With a breath of a laugh, she releases him, and he wastes no time moving up, beginning to lick an eager path along every inch of her slick skin.
--
Luxuriating in the feeling of being so thoroughly sated, Casca lies against their shared bedroll, back arching briefly in an indulgent stretch. She feels so pleasantly warm, skin still tingling from all the attention Guts has lavished on her.
It's a quiet and clear night, the twinkling stars above their only company outside of each other. Casca laughs softly as Guts drapes himself over her, nestling his head under her chin, rumbling contentedly. Wrapping her arms around him as best she can, she buries her face in the spikes of his damp hair, kissing him sweetly.
It's so easy to be close to him like this.
She hopes it will always stay this easy.
I'm pretty excited about this fic, so I hope my brain and life cooperate with me long enough that I can finish it in a timely manner.
I hope you're able to see this post, Anon. And thank you again for sending me an ask. 💙
Maybe a bit of a random question, writing-related: when you're writing, what strategies do you use to stay on track with the story (or argument) you want to tell?
Hi hi hiiiiii 👋
I genuinely struggle a lot with writing in general, whether it's for a fic or in response to a more in-depth ask. It's very difficult for me to form my thoughts in one sitting, so what I generally do for asks or any sort of meta/analysis is create a bullet list of points I want to specifically make, and that always makes it so much easier for me to expand on later. And as I spontaneously think of more things I want to say throughout the day/week, I add them to the list. It's definitely brought an element of control to my rambling, which is nice, because I always have so much I want to yap about, and I worry about sounding incoherent or frenetic.
Here's an example of how I went about to answer this ask of yours:
It truly helped me tremendously, since I had a few points I absolutely did not want to miss talking about, and that helped me think of other things as I was writing the response to your ask.
As for say, fic writing, I just write down scenes, descriptions of potential scenes, and bits of dialogue I think of, and put them in brackets to keep them separate, since I unfortunately write things out of order. And then I figure out how to bridge it all together.
Here's a bit of my (honestly insane) fic writing process, with the added bonus of it being a sneak peek from the Wounds Redux fic:
I'm so sorry that this isn't going to be very helpful, but it's what had ended up being the most effective for me personally. But I appreciate you so much for asking me. 💙
What Disney rides do u think the berserk characters would like…..
Anon, the way I gasped out loud at this genuinely incredible ask. Truly the perfect intersection of my interests and I'm honestly speechless. Do you know me irl? Haha jk. Unless... 👀
--
Guts: Remy's Ratatouille Adventure. Obviously this choice is a nod to my HC of Culinary Genius Guts lmao. Does he also have a shoulder pal Remy plush he wears around the parks? Maybe so. Maybe so.
Casca: Flight of Passage. Now, my bias definitely shows on this, since that's my personal favorite ride in all of Disney, and she's my favorite Berserk character. But...I HC Casca to be such a horse girl, so I firmly believe she'd have the time of her life riding what's basically Ikran Girl Simulator.
Judeau: Smuggler's Run. Tell me that guy doesn't have the potential to be some kind of pilot and that he wouldn't be a massive Star Wars fan. He'd also be great in the gunner position as well. (What sucks about that ride is if your party is too small, you get put with other people, and 9 times out of 10, they're total sticks in the mud and make for a very shitty pilot, engineer, or gunner. I'd need Judeau in my group lmao.)
Griffith: The Great Movie Ride. Yeah, I know it's not around anymore, but I have no trouble imagining him to be a cinephile in a modern AU, and he'd have appreciated the films featured. He quietly drops extra lore not covered by the cast member guide.
Charlotte: Under the Sea - Journey of The Little Mermaid. She's 100% a Disney girlie, and loves all the princesses. And I can see Ariel being a favorite.
Pippin: Na'vi River Journey. He enjoys how calm and quiet the ride is, along with the gorgeous visuals.
Rickert: Rise of the Resistance. I can HC him as being such a Star Wars nerd in a modern AU like Judeau, so he'd love this ride so much.
Schierke: Kilimanjaro Safari. She looooooves seeing all the animals and if she's anything like me when I was her age, she won't hesitate to flex those animal knowledge muscles and will get the answers to all the questions the cast member asks correct.
Serpico: Toy Story Mania. He consistently gets the highest score every single time. He's lethal and secretly very competitive. He'd also be a good gunner on Smuggler's Run lmao.
Roderick: Pirates of the Caribbean, obviously.
Isidro: Guardians of the Galaxy. Idk, I can see him being a huge Marvel fan in a modern AU.
Skull Knight: The Haunted Mansion. Need I say more? And I am actually crying at the image of him sitting in the Doombuggy.
--
If any Berserk moots and followers want to add on to this, I am begging you to please do so hahaha. I'm struggling to think of what rides Farnese and Corkus would like.
(The ride has been long gone, but there are several who would love Alien Encounter too, I think.)
Gosh, who'd like Soarin', I wonder? Most if not all of them. That ride is amazing.
