#alv writes

[alvie-pines]

My neocities site is still MAJORLY under construction, but I got ahead of myself and posted my entry for the TAU Zine a few years back, which I never posted on Ao3... here it is!

[alvie-pines]

A hand clamps around the steel cables of his neck. Optimus feels fuel lines bend and crack. His frame is worn and abused, deep grooves littering his armor and plating torn up and turned out.

"Prime," Megatron growls. "Optimus." His optics are blazing red. He drags his enemy closer, pulling him up off the ground, until their helms clink together. "Orion," he says. His words are quiet, meant only for one.

Optimus' vocalizer is full of static when he speaks. "I have not been him for a very long time, Megatron," he rasps. "You know that very well."

It's as if Megatron hasn't heard him. "Come back, Orion."

Slowly, Optimus brings a firm hand up to cup the side of Megatron's helm. He sighs, deep and weary. "Would that I could, my dear." His voice and touch are soft and wistful.

Megatron narrows his eyes as his face twists up in anger and hurt. "You have a choice," he hisses. "You can come back anytime you want."

Optimus' mask slides back with a heavy click, and behind it, he is smiling a sad sort of smile. "I have a duty."

"A perfect excuse to shake off four million years," Megatron continues, his voice taking on a tinge of something desperate. "The matrix changed you. We were once--"

"Once," Optimus interrupts. He puts his hand over Megatron's where it is still clamped around his throat. A request. "In the past. Orion Pax is over."

Megatron releases him.

"I will find him," he swears. "I will kill you and I will find him."

[alvie-pines]

im super picky about how my poetry is displayed. font, spacing, indentation, capitalization, it all has to be exactly how i want it

thats why lately ive been taking screenshots of my poetry written out in a document with all the correct fonts and spacing and whatnot and sharing that instead of the raw text

[alvie-pines]

,,, there are old tau fics i need to dig out of my drafts

[leotello]

guess who just remembered he recently wrote a transfem leo drabble? this guyyy

"Now..." Donnie turns his rolling chair to face Leo. "I can't guarantee anything with this. It's extremely experimental and you're the first person trying it." Leo nods quickly. She taps her fingers on her thigh, anxious for her brother to get on with it.

"But... if Raph's results are anything to go by, I think it will work. First of all, it should affect fat and muscle distribution. It will be easier to gain weight around your thighs and hips, and it will be slightly harder to maintain muscle mass." Leo frowns at that. She knew it would happen, and yet hearing it out loud is filling her with mixed emotions. She wants to look more feminine, yes, but she can't help the twinge of anxiety at how the change may relate to her ninja training. She knows better than anyone that you can't afford any weakness in battle, whether physical or mental. And she doesn't like the idea of working harder to maintain her current strength.

Donnie must sense her apprehension, because he adds, "It shouldn't be too noticeable when it comes to how much you can lift, really. It's not a huge gap. Mostly it will change how you look. Especially your shoulders. Remember how Raph's shoulders got so much broader after he started taking testosterone? The opposite will happen with you."

She does like the sound of that. One hand absently comes up to rub at her shoulder. She's never liked how they looked.

"Aside from that," Donnie continues, "you might notice your skin tone lightening a bit. I'm still not entirely sure what species we're derived from, but it's pretty normal for female turtles to have lighter skin."

"Like when we were kids?" Leo asks. Donnie nods.

"Both sexes begin with lighter skin, and in male turtles, the color usually darkens during puberty. So yes, your skin tone should start to look more like it did when we were younger."

Leo smiles. The more she hears Donnie talk about all the changes he can make happen, the more real it feels. She can't help but get a little giddy. The feeling floods through her body and tingles in her fingers, and she flaps one hand back and forth, letting the energy fizzle out through her fingertips.

Donnie's own hand starts to tap quickly at his other wrist as he smiles back, clearly happy to see his sister so excited. "There are a few other changes. You might get taller, for one. I'm not sure exactly how much your height can change at this point in development, but it's something to look out for. Your claws will most likely get shorter. The one thing I'm really not sure about is your plastron." Donnie taps the top of his own. "Raph's flattened out significantly, but he was pretty young when he started, and it's not a soft tissue. Your plastron might change shape, or it might not. I really can't say for certain."

Leo nods. "I'm okay with that," she says. "I just want to try."

Donnie smiles and hands her the bottle. "Go ahead then. Once daily for four weeks, and then see me again." 

Leo takes the bottle, and feels a little bit of giddy wonder swell in her chest. It's really happening. She's really doing this, and the bottle is in her hands, and her future is in her hands.

She lunges out of her chair and hugs Donnie so fast and tight, she almost worries she chipped his plastron. But Donnie just lets out a surprised "oof" and then she feels him hug her back, tight and firm and full of love. They stay like that for a few minutes, just a mess of grinning turtle limbs and occasional giddy laughter from Leo.

When they finally pull apart, Donnie's glasses are skewed sideways on his head, so Leo takes a moment to fix them. "Thank you," she says. "Thank you so much."

so basically, i use donnie as a vessel to nerd out about turtle biology, project my own excitement about starting HRT someday, and also push my autistic turtles agenda. all in a day’s work :) 

[alvie-pines]

WOOOOOO! FIC! FIC! Good luck on writing it and It's okay :D

Take your time and take care of yourself!

-dsmptau anon

Thank you, both of you! I'll still be working on it, I just won't be able to post it :)

[alvie-pines]

why is Hard Drug Withdrawal a thing i write about frequently

[alvie-pines]

"Don't mind if I do," Daniel said with a grin. "So really, kid, where have you been?"

Alfred shrugged. "Out west."

Daniel shook his head in disbelief. "Again? Didn't you go out west a couple years back?"

"Sure did," Alfred confirmed.

"Why'd ya come back if you were only going to leave again, son? Can't you stay in one place for too long?"

[Day by Day]