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"Plz C'll Mi Alviz!!!", 1981 by J.G.Wind

#drawing and painting #1981 #rockabilly #neue wilde #80's #pomp #metaphysical art #green tie #J.G.Wind #Alviz #pimples #steel earrings #punk #slapstick #cherry pie #cherries #greaser #sideburns

We’re Not Broken, Just Bent

By Jess Alviz

"We're just friends."

It's an all-too familiar phrase I so often used to conceal the truth.

Being in an All-Girls Catholic School that upholds heteronormativity, it isn't easy being a girl who likes girls. Each time I was in school, my heart would beat a little bit faster than it should--not because I see her every day, but because of the fear of being discovered. The entirety of the school year would be spent on hiding. I couldn't go near her without the crippling anxiety that one of the teachers would find out. My brain cells would cry in harmony because I'd waste minutes just calculating the times when it was safe to hold her hand.

I never really understood why there were people who thought that it was so wrong, but there was nothing else I could do but hide. Nowhere was safe. Not even my own home.

The first time I tried to go on a date with her outside of school did not go very well. When I asked my dad if I could go to Eastwood with a name he has heard me say for the first time, he started having suspicions. "I think this is the first time you've mentioned her. How come you aren't going with any of your other friends?" When I couldn't come up with a credible excuse, he raised his voice. "Is she your girlfriend?" I didn't know how to answer. The way he uttered the word like I had just committed a mortal sin made my stomach tie up in knots.

"Tibo ka ba?" he asked, disappointedly. "No," I responded. "Bisexual."

He sighed, too tired to argue any further. "Oh well. It's just a phase, anyway."

The way he said it made it seem as if straight was the only thing that you could ever be.

For the longest time, people all over the world have been fighting for LGBTQ+ rights. Even from the time of Alexander Hamilton, who is rumored to have been bisexual, loving a person of the same sex or gender was considered taboo. There was also a time when being homosexual was thought to be an illness. When that theory was disproved, people still continued to associate the concept with stigma.

Generally, people are becoming more aware of the LGBTQ+ community. Many are becoming more open-minded than they were before. However, cases of LGBTQ+ discrimination are still evident today.

Hate crime against the LGBTQ+ is still prevalent. Just this year, on June 12, there was a terrorist/hate crime attack inside a gay nightclub in Orlando. 49 people were killed and 53 others were wounded because of this. On March 31 in Russia, Dmitry Tsilikin was found dead in his apartment. The attacker, who stabbed Tsilikin a dozen times, claimed that he did this because Tsilikin was presumed to be gay. In Cubao in the Philippines, transgender women who were asking for alms instead received a beating.

Same-sex marriage is still not legal in several countries. In the Philippines, the LGBTQ+ community is not given such a privilege, either. What's worse is that the "religious" are the ones who attack the LGBTQ+, using the Bible to justify their prejudices. They claim that God made men for women and vice versa, and that that's the only way it should be.

The Philippines, a country that claims to be LGBTQ+ friendly, is not actually so. According to several articles, it is more of "tolerant" towards the community than "accepting." As mentioned before, the LGBTQ+ community in the Philippines experience physical abuse and same-sex marriage is still not legalized. Filipinos do not even have a full understanding of the community. Many of them have the stereotype that all lesbians are masculine and that all gays are feminine. They also have this mindset that there should always be a guy and a girl in a same-sex relationship. Moreover, Vice Ganda, the most famous LGBTQ+ icon in the country, gives off the stereotype that gays are entertaining. It seems as if most only tolerate the community because of him.

From the beginning of time, it has been socially acceptable for boys and girls to love each other. I don't see why love would be wrong just because it is between two boys or two girls. Until now, the LGBTQ+ community still remain in their closets because they are afraid. They are afraid to love and afraid to be who they are--things that no one should ever have the fear of doing. And although it seems so far from now, I really do hope that someday, I would be able to love who I love without the fear of isolation.

#alviz

A Whole New World

By Jess Alviz

They weren’t kidding when they said it was the happiest place on earth.

When I was eight, my family and I went to United States to visit our family. Life wasn’t as hard, then. My grandmother was still alive, and we didn’t have to worry about our expenses that much. It was during the summer, around mid-May, and my cousins Justin and Nathan were holding a joint birthday in the place where every child would kill to be—Disney World. Little me’s eyes lit up with joy when I found out where we were going. After all, it was a dream come true.

I, together with my family—my grandparents, Justin and Nathan and their parents, and my parents—arrived in the morning, and the first thing that we did was visit the Disney resort. There were several ones, each with a different theme. We ended up going to the one called the All-Star Movie Resort. We only went to one area, but it was still amazing for me. The area we visited was Toy Story themed, and it was my childhood come to life. Two giant figurines of Woody and Buzz Lightyear greeted us with their signature smirks as we arrived at the place. Woody’s boot even had the messy scrawl of Andy’s name imprinted on it. The toy soldiers of Andy also patrolled on the roofs of the resort. It was as if we were in the movie itself[1] .

Around noon, we decided to go the amusement park already. It was lunch time, and the sun was at its zenith. The Orlando heat was scorching my skin and I’m certain I was almost close to dying, but I didn’t mind. Not even the sun’s wrath could ruin my day.

Before going to any of the rides, we decided to eat first. There was a wide range of restaurants to choose from, but because our stomachs were grumbling and practically begging to be filled, we went to the nearest one we could find. It was called The Plaza Restaurant, and it was located at Main Street, the first area that you encounter in the theme park. The design of the restaurant was wonderful. It had a Victorian theme, and there were chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. The place was jam-packed, though, so we had to eat outside. I ordered Spaghetti Bolognese. After everyone had finished eating, the waiter brought us a chocolate cake for Justin and Nathan. I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Jess, look!” my mom said, pointing.

I looked towards the direction she was referring to and saw Winnie the Pooh and Tigger interacting with some of the customers. My mom nudged me. “Hey, they’re signing autographs. Do you want one? Grandpa got you and the others a notebook from the souvenir shop specifically for that purpose.”

I gave her a shy smile and nodded.

My dad raised his hand to get Pooh and Tigger’s attention, and to my childish delight, it worked. The both of them skipped over to our table and waved us in greeting. Both my dad and Justin’s gave them and autograph book and a pen. After they finished signing it, they bid us goodbye and bounced over to the next children that wanted to have a photo or a simple hello.

And finally, the moment I’ve been waiting for: the rides. We didn’t have enough cash to actually explore the entire place for more than one day, so we weren’t able to ride everything. And to my disappointment, I wasn’t allowed to many of the rides because of the height restrictions. I really wanted to go on many of the rollercoasters, alas, it the stars were not aligned.

The first ride we went to was this Pirates of the Caribbean boat ride. It was pretty much like your typical It’s A Small World boat ride, except that it wasn’t. It was pitch black inside the cave the boat went in compared to the colourful ensemble of It’s A Small World, and well, I didn’t particularly understand it much since I’ve never watched any of the movies at the time (I still haven’t actually), but I think I recall seeing a treasure chest filled with gold and a model of the laughing and drunk Captain Jack Sparrow.

We also went to a ride called Kali River Rapids and it was basically a ride in which we were on a circular raft secured to a seat. The raft moved swiftly across the coursing river and there was a 200% chance of getting wet. I remember screaming about a million times because of the intensity and excitement. The 2 minutes I spent in that ride felt like forever. In the end, I wanted to go back again, but of course, my parents being the rational ones in the family told me it was ridiculous to line up again for the same ride.

Another ride we went on was the Mad Tea Party. It took me down the rabbit hole into Alice’s Wonderland and imagination. The ride consisted of colourful cups resembling the ones from the film that would spin round and round for the entire duration of the ride. It was a very mad tea party, indeed. Normal people probably would have felt the need to hurl afterwards, but I just left the ride with a very wide smile plastered on my face.

We went on more rides until it became night time. When it was around 11 PM, my tiny feet began to get tired from all the walking, and because I was the petty little girl that I was, I began to cry. I was absolutely exhausted. I didn’t wanna go on anymore, and we had to go home. Sadly, because of this little episode, we missed the stunning 12-minute fireworks display that happens before the park closes. I still curse myself for this sometimes.

All in all, it was a breathtaking and magical experience. I’d do anything just so that I could come back. Disney World is a place for everyone, no matter who you are, how old you are, or where you come from. Disney would always be there to welcome you home.

#alviz

AmsterDAMN

By Jess Alviz It would have been a perfect birthday trip for Zianne Agustin already if it weren’t for that incident. To celebrate Zianne’s birthday which is in the month of May, her family decided it would be an opportune time to fly to Europe and visit its famous landmarks. They had visited Rome, Germany, France, Sweden, and many others. Around the latter part of their trip, they chose to go to the beautiful Dutch city of Amsterdam, with its waters flowing all throughout its canals and its slim, high, and deep houses situated side by side one another. To test her independence, her mother together with the other members of the family decided to let her go to a museum on her own while the former went around other parts of the city. She chose to go to the Rijksmuseum, a Dutch national museum featuring the culture, history, and arts of the country. When she finished, she went outside, expecting to see her family already done with their wandering. However, this was not the case, so she decided to get ice cream at a nearby shop first. When she finished her dessert, she went back to the museum and stayed outside, waiting on the steps of the stairs leading up to the entrance. It took about ten minutes before her family finally returned. Zianne stayed behind her uncle as they went back to the hotel that they stayed in. They were walking down one of the bridges of the city when it happened. The incident occurred on the 9th of June, at around 6 o’clock in the evening. The sun still illuminated the place brightly as it bids its farewell at around 9 PM there. Zianne was calmly following her family towards their destination when two men on gaudy motorcycles zoomed past and grabbed her bag. She didn’t see the perpetrators’ faces as it happened all so quickly. She didn’t even have the chance to do anything about it anymore. All she did was run after it, but she couldn’t quite make it. Chasing after the two men were near impossible, a task as difficult as swimming towards the sinking sun. None of the passersby paid any attention to the mugging. None of them even had any second glances, as if people get mugged every day in the country. Everyone surrounding her simply continued doing whatever they needed to do, walking wherever they needed to go. Her family, of course, tried to help, but to no avail. Zianne panted as she gave up trying to run after them, still slightly shocked due to the theft. That was the first time something like that ever happened to her. All she wanted to do was go and rest because they were going home the next day already. Fate’s strings seemed to be working against her as all her precious artwork, her old phone with photos filled with memories of the past, and souvenirs to help her remember her trip disappeared all because of two Dutch strangers on motorcycles. Because of this, Zianne is now more careful when she goes around outside with her family. She clutches her bag very close to her body. She is always looking around for potential threats. She cannot go outdoors anymore without the anxiety of getting mugged from again. She glares at every motorcycle she sees, and there are even times when she tries really hard to look financially challenged so that muggers would not target her anymore. When they boarded the plane to go back to Manila, Zianne looked out the window as she drummed her fingers on the arm of her seat. She was still pretty sad about the entire affair, but an idea struck her: she tapped her mother on the shoulder. "What?" her mother asked. Zianne smiled. "At least I can tell all my children and grandchildren that I got mugged in Amsterdam."

#alviz

Loving Him Was Red

By Jess Alviz

As the bell rang to signal the end of classes, my classmates hurriedly shuffled away from their seats and out the door, relieved that yet another stressful week of Junior year had finally come to an end. My friends and I did the same, rushing to the parking lot so we could all get into Raya’s car, excited to unwind at UP Town Center (UPTC). We did the things any Stereotypical Miriam College High School Student would do at that place—eat and sing our hearts out in the karaoke booth in Timezone. Of course, a trip to UPTC would never be complete without getting Cold Stone ice cream, so after karaoke, we headed over there.

You’d think nothing unusual ever happens in a place as normative as a creamery, but you’re wrong. There was this one server with chinky eyes and short, dyed blond hair that actually attempted to hit on us. After they asked about things such as how old we were and what grade level we were in, I realized I had to leave already, so I asked my friend Marion to nobly accompany me in getting my stuff from the baggage counter, which requires a baggage number. The server apparently overheard us and joked, “Ako rin magbibigay sa inyo ng number,” while scribbling something onto their tiny notepad.

We all had raging hormones then. We all silently agreed that the server whose gender we couldn't particularly decipher was the most adorable thing in the world in that very moment. Eventually, we concluded that she was female, and referred to her as Ate Cold Stone, saying things like “Ang cute niya!” and “Gusto ko siyang iuwi.” We were low-key obsessed, deciding that it was absolutely mandatory to come back the following week.

And so we did. We visited Cold Stone again the next Friday, but to our dismay, Ate Cold Stone was nowhere to be found. As we retreated to eating our ice cream at the seats outside with heavy hearts and lifeless souls, my friend Shay spotted a figure leaving the creamery. There she was! Before I knew it, Shay forcibly grabbed me by the wrist and we both started chasing after her like idiots, leaving the rest of our friends. When we got her to stop on her tracks, she smiled a smile brighter than a thousand suns. It rendered me speechless. Shay, however, being the horrible friend that she is, blurted out that I thought Ate Cold Stone was cute. Mortified at what she was going to respond, I just stood there, frozen. But she merely continued giving us that toothy grin of hers, said “Babalik ako,” then walked away.

Still traumatized from the Social Suicide that Shay had put me through, we walked back to the store in silence. But apparently, Shay was not yet done with this ridiculous charade, eager to make me the star of her little freak show. Wearing a smile as sly as a snake’s, she raised her hand to call a nearby server. “What are you doing?” I whispered, clenching my teeth. The server walked towards us and asked us what we needed. “Crush po neto yung blond na server niyo. Ano pangalan niya?” said Shay, beaming. The server burst out laughing, and said that her name was Red. “Ah, okay, so si Ate Red,” acknowledged Shay. The server shook his head. “Kuya kasi,” he smiled.

It was definitely a shocking revelation. Ate Cold Stone is actually Kuya Cold Stone. A man. A member of the male species. I couldn’t believe it. But what was even more surprising and appalling was when he finally came back; I couldn't dare look at him. What just happened had been far too crazy and embarrassing that I’d been stripped of all my dignity to actually interact with him again. But when he went inside, he waved hi to me through the glass, pouting as if he were a dog whose master was going to be leaving soon. What a fruitcake.

Shay laughed at me the entire time. For some reason, she finds joy in my suffering, so she decided to torture me even more, as if all that jazz she’d already done wasn’t enough. She called again the server from earlier, ignoring my ice cold glare. I panicked, wondering about what dreadful thing she’s got in store for me this time. She whispered something into his ear. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but I’m pretty sure I had caught a glimpse of a smile playing across the server’s lips. He retreated back into the store and suddenly brought out Kuya Cold Stone. I was so confused. What was happening?

Shay pushed me off my seat. Suddenly, Kuya Cold Stone was standing by my side. Still struck with confusion, I didn’t realize what exactly was happening until I saw a flash of white and a phone in the server’s hands. I felt so harassed. These kinds of things aren’t supposed to happen in real life. These things only happen in sitcoms. Believe me when I say I was so close to pushing Shay off the nearest cliff because of that.

“Teka, Kuya Red, ano raw Facebook mo? Tinatanong niya,” asked Shay excitedly, pointing at me. I did everything in my power to resist the urge to murder her with the nearest sharp object. To my surprise, though, Kuya Cold Stone actually grabbed our receipt and wrote his Facebook name on it, smiling at us as he promoted Cold Stone’s typical Facebook photo contests wherein the most likes get to win or whatever. And with that, he left.

During the ride home, Kuya Cold Stone was all I could think about. Not because he was cute. Or charming. Or unanimously voted by my friends as most adorable thing in the world in the past week. But because that was the most preposterous thing to have ever happened in the sixteen years I’ve spent here on earth. I’m losing brain cells just simply thinking about it. One thing’s for sure, though: never again will I set foot in Cold Stone UPTC.

#di ko rin alam kung bakit nangyari to #maawa ka lord #alviz